Lyoko_Titan1 Blog

I'm back?

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Christ it's been a long time since I've been here. Was the last time I was active really when I still liked Children of Bodom? And my About Me... apparently I last updated that when I was fourteen? Blimey!

Oh well, I might do something about those later if I end up actually coming here regularly again. For the time being, who's still around that I remember? And who actually wants to talk to me? :P Come on, don't be shy! Post a comment!

This has been a self-indulgent blog post made on impulse en route to the Digimon World forum (beautiful game, you should all play it). Peace!

Knowledge and other thoughts

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Another blog like my last one, though this time much shorter. As it mentions towards the end, it might have been longer were I not so tired. I don't do analysis well when I'm tired.

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So much knowledge in the world, which mankind has acquired! So many books in which it is contained! One can scarcely comprehend it all, even come to grips with its breadth and quantity. How am I to even begin to absorb it in one lifetime?

This is a thought which has preoccupied me much lately. It is my ambition to be a modern polymath, one who knows a little about everything and a lot about most things. Perhaps it's a very tall order to meet this 19th-century definition of the term (a simple time), but nonetheless. Yet all the time I encounter knowledge which I feel I ought to have known but do not. It's... galling. I feel inadequate, as if I've been wasting my life up until now simply by not devoting it entirely to the pursuit of knowledge.

Underlying this concern, of course, is the knowledge that my past few years have, sadly, been a grave tale of imbalance. The damage I and my intellect have received from these... will it be irreparable? Or can I erase its impact by forging on full steam ahead from here on out? I must try. Time will tell its possibility.

I'm wondering as to the format of this. When I began my foray sometime early yesterday evening, I intended it as a sort of computerised drabbling page almost, a sort of substitute for the easy flow of idea straight from the mind afforded by simply writing with pen and paper, a flow restricted by the strict linear nature (restrict à strict? Dull repetition, or an interesting literary effect?) of computers and Word processing programs. Yet now I fear, partly due to having posted last night's creation on my blog, that I'm starting to constrict (another strict) the style myself, into a narrative, straight narrative, none of that easy flow which I had hoped for. Well. Already over this last paragraph I've detected an easing of that... maybe it's nothing, just a natural deviation, a... hm, what synonyms does natural have? a pendulum swing in my own style. Must leave it, laisser faire, and see.

So ends a short outpouring of my thoughts, much shorter than last night's overdue introspection. Perhaps tonight's would be longer were it not for my state of tiredness. This was an issue today. I hope it's just stress affecting me. We'll see come next week I guess.

Christmas comes soon!

Sleep, exercise, and reading for Oxford

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Alright, I composed the following as a stream of consciousness analysing some issues which have been playing on my mind lately. It's entirely unedited save for some formatting and removal of personal details, so there bound to be some type errors; also bear in mind that this wasn't written for publication, which is really more of an afterthought (or maybe a desire for attention... I'll examine that later). There's also possibly some stuff against the content guidelines... report if you want, but I don't care. If I'm banned for it, I'll take it somewhere a bit more lenient. Anyway, without further ado, here goes:

All is in vain if the mind is a blunt tool.

the mind must therefore not be allowed to grow blunt.

What makes the mind grow blunt, though?

- Lack of sleep.

- Lack of exercise.

- Lack of proper stimulation.

- Other physical debilitations.

Of this list, I am afflicted by all but the fourth. This must be remedied.

Dealing with each in turn:

- Lack of sleep.

I must develop a proper sleeping pattern. Five or six hours seems a discredited figure for my current state. Seven is perhaps a wiser target. I should wake up at 7 o'clock. Ergo, I must be asleep by midnight. With this in mind, I should leave the computer for bed by 23.30. Even with this, it is still unlikely I will get 7 hours average per night. Estimate half an hour lost each weeknight. Counting Friday and Sunday as weeknights, this makes 6 week nights, so three hours lost sleep. Therefore this will have to be made up Saturday night. Assuming wake up 10 o'clock on Sunday takes us back once again to midnight. And so it works out that I should go to bed at the same time on all nights.

Can this be managed? Perhaps I should revise the figure down again to 6 hours... that might create a more workable model, provided I am stringent in not abusing this target.

I shall return... for now I must indulge my family and watch Merlin. Sigh.

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So, 6 hours. (We shall say nothing of the awfulness which is Merlin.) How would that work out?

Counting back from 07:00, that's 01:00. So that would leave us with the current system... off computer by midnight. That would give an hour for getting to sleep... as well as fapping beforehand. Only, it doesn't seem to be working... I'm still frequently tired. But maybe this is purely a deficiency in the other highlighted factors?

We'll leave sleep for now. Next on the list. Exercise.

- Lack of exercise.

Clearly a problem even notwithstanding the mental capacity issue. I'm already somewhat overweight; if my metabolism decides to slow down once my teenage years finish, I'm screwed, and probably not literally. But that's not the issue du jour. So, what do we think? An hour a day average?

Probably this should discount time taken traipsing back and forth between school and whatnot. Hm... if we get the hour out of a brisk walk every day, that exercise can be the compensatory factor to allow for the fact that my walking probably wouldn't be quite brisk enough to count for the full hour recommended.

So moving onto the issue of where it should fit into my daily routine. Almost immediately afterschool seems the obvious choice. So, maybe get in, take a shower, go out again? We'll try that.

(Hm, would that last "we" be a French "on"?)

Then where to? Around [the wood]? Possible. Up to town and back? Productive if I need something. Maybe I shouldn't try to plan it too much. Maybe I should just let my feet take me where they will.

Ah, but back to routine again. Tuesday through Thursday night could prove problems, Thursday in particular. In fact, I think we'll definitely have to write off Thursdays. Not enough time. What about Tuesdays and Wednesdays, though? Well... Tuesday first... let's say we can get a lift off Fred every week. That gets us back to [my home town] for roughly 17:10, I think. Maybe sooner. So call it back to base by 17:30. Is a shower (half an hour) then an hour's walk really plausible? 19:00... well, let's be honest, there's no reason it shouldn't be. Not like I'm doing anything special on Tuesday nights. Won't be having dinner until dad gets back in (probably later than me even given that), and only other possible commitment is University Challenge at 8. We'll try it and see.

Wednesday could be more problematic; no lift. Half an hour down to the station, 15 minutes to buy a ticket, wait for a train and get into Beaconsfield, 20 minutes to get back in... actually, thanks to Greek finishing that little bit earlier, that's probably not so much worse than Tuesdays. Maybe play this one by ear too.

But that still leaves Thursdays (no chance there). So we've got an hour's deficit per week. That'll have to be made up at weekends... of course, weekends could be a problem in of themselves, given my aversion to letting my parents know when I'm trying this sort of thing out... my brain wants to shy away from this issue. For now I'm inclined to let it. We've got a whole week to finalise this at least. Maybe I'm being weak... but I need time for contemplation. So, if I am being weak, point to my weakness, though I haven't lost the war.

So that's exercise. What was next on the list?

Ah yes, stimulation... that chiefly means reading. Whoa boy...

(It's a mark of my chronic tiredness that I had to look back up the document to check that.)

- Lack of proper stimulation.

So reading. I haven't been doing enough of you lately. (Along with something else, ever, but we'll leave that aside.) I just haven't found the time in my day... you know, I'm going to toss violin in this category too. Hm.

In the short term I'm going to stick to my previous plan. Have a week of heavy reading. See if that model, alternating it with bursts of violin practice, has any merit. Of course, that'll mean the exercise regime's put off a week. But considering my Oxford interview, I think that's more important...

So then. Overall plan. Week of heavy reading. Leaving even turning the computer on until at least 9, I think. (Let's see how far that one gets...) Daily showers, as already attempted with some but incomplete success. A week of heavy reading – in the living room, with Nightwish or whoever pumping out on the CD player. Short bursts of violin practice when I get bored. Move up to my room once the 'rents get home, but keeping the reading up. Then once my Oxford interviews are over exercise regime. Oh, and throughout it all adhering strictly to my current sleep timetable.

Sounds like enough to be getting on with. Hence ends my first stream of consciousness journal entry.

Actually, that's a detail to add. One of these per day. ... actually no. No schedule for now. Just whenever I feel like it. Yeah, that's better. I need more flexibility in my life. ... sort of.

Sorry. Really am ending now.

No, no, let's expand on that last issue. My problem isn't so much that I'm flexible or inflexible but that I've too much inertia. So... structure will help there. But not too rigid a routine. I don't wish to turn into an automaton.

And with that, I leave a possible double standard/contradiction very much unexplored and end before a fallacy is exposed. Vale.

Good grief, it's been THAT long since I last did a blog post? O___o

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Alright, so first up, sorry my promised return never happened. I guess I've just lost interest with most of the stuff which used to keep me here - I don't really watch any of the TV shows I used to like anymore, I've somewhat lost my attraction to forums as a means of passing my time, and I just generally feel like I'm out of touch with the community here.

But that may change soon. I've started getting into anime recently, largely thanks to the release of anime adaption of Sengoku Basara, Capcom's somewhat bizarre but nonetheless excellent video game series based on Japan's Sengoku period (unfortunately only out in Japan; the US adaption, Devil Kings, removes all the direct Segoku references). Incidentally, the anime is awesome, particularly the theme tune. Anyway, I plan to start contributing for Sengoku Basara here on TV.com soon, and if that goes well, I might do the same for some of the other anime I'm watching. No promises, since my time is rather precious these days, but we'll see.

So, in other news...

AS Levels are coming up. The next big exams after the GCSEs I mentioned last past in the UK for those of you who don't live here (ie, I imagine, most of my ever-diminishing readership). I've actually tried revising for these - it worked well for the two Maths modules I sat in January, which is good. I'll need the excellent marks, though, if I wanted to get into Oxford or Cambridge - particularly to compensate for my relatively poor GCSE marks (well, poor by the standards of my school, which is what I fear I'll be judged by). I'm starting to wonder if it's hopeless because of that... but I can't give up. So... wish me luck I guess. ^^;

Speaking of anime, also, I tried my hand at some fanfiction lately, for the anime Lucky Star. I'm... well, my feelings towards it are a little ambivalent. I'm told in reviews it's brilliant, and that I should hurry up and finish it, but... well. I'm wondering if it's for me. Between you and me, there are times when I re-read it and feel it's so pretentiously-written that I should be ashamed of myself. Plus I'm suffering from some major writer's block... ah well. We'll see. Updates on this will follow. If any of you happen to be interested in reading what I've done so far, my pen-name on FanFiction.net, where I uploaded it, is Yamiken. If I can be bothered, I'll get you a direct link later. :P

What else? Oh right, apparently I'm a Latin Hitler :lol: This is based on a reading of the Cicero speech I did in class once... I'll do it again at home and make a video for you guys some time if you like. Come to think of it, screw you guys, I'll do it anyway. :P (6 months later: Crap... still haven't done that Cicero video...)

There's probably more to put... but I'll leave it there. If any of you want to talk to me, please do add me on MSN. I'll probably forget to check comments on here for ages.

... that said, do comment anyway. xP

Bye for now.

2:16am

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Yup, that's the time I'm writing this at. (GMT, as most of you should know by now... does it really matter?) A curious thing about me is that the only time I tend to get anything done is when I'm tired. I guess it's because that's the only time when I'm bored enough of my usual activities like video games, TV and YouTube to actually be bothered to do anything else.

So, how is everyone? Do I still actually have any readers? Who I don't have to remind over MSN? :P Probably not. Ah well... such is the way of things when you take several months off. Can't really expect people to check by after that long, I suppose.

Well, my life recently... I just finished my exams. GCSEs. Some of the most important exams I'll do in my life; they'll go a long way to deciding whether or not I get into whichever universe I want.

Needless to say, I barely revised for them. :lol:

Probably should've, though. I honestly do need to learn to do more work rather than wasting all my time on games, TV and the internet. Hopefully I can manage that in the Sixth Form. Free periods (if I get any; I'm doing at least 5 A-levels, for the first year at any rate) should help, but it's at home that I really need to kick the habit. Oh well. That's still the better part of 2 months away. For now I can relax without any worries! :D Fun times...

Anyway. Other details. Well, having gotten more or less bored of the Warriors series at last, I decided to start playing The Lord of the Rings: The Third Age again today, seeing as I finally got my rather dog-eared strategy guide for the game back from my friend recently ("dog-eared", incidentally, is a rather accurate description of it given what it's apparently been through; also, note that it wasn't dog-eared when I gave it to him). Managed to clear the first episode and the accompanying Evil Mode tonight. Stopped playing about 10, 20 minutes ago.

Oh, an issue that some of you might be familiar with. I'm sure many of you are aware of the rather controversial miscarriage storyline in Control+Alt+Delete recently, either because you yourselves read it or through hearsay. For all of you for whom this has somehow managed to pass you by (ie. those of you still with some form of a social life :P), CAD is one of the bigger gaming webcomics on the internet. However, rather than constant gaming one-shots, CAD also has a cast of about 5 or so regular characters who sometimes have non-gaming-related plotlines. Alright, this explanation is becoming rather garbled, so I'll cut to the chase: a while ago, two of these characters hooked up, and are in fact now engaged. A month or so ago, the female character got pregnant. Then a couple of weeks ago now she had a miscarriage. This, as you may expect, was rather jarring for most people as CAD is, primarily, a humour comic.

Anyway, I'm not entirely sure why I bothered with all that, since my next question probably only applies to the people who are already familiar with this controversy, and with the reactions it's caused amongst the internet community in general: what's your opinion on it? Was Buckley (the author of CAD, although again if you don't know you're probably not answering this) justified in writing (or drawing) this plotline? Was the whole thing doomed from beginning? Or does CAD just suck overall and this simply a new low on its ever-plumetting chart?

My opinion. First of all, let me just say that I don't subscribe to this theory that primarily humourous webcomics must never deviate from one-shot comics and have no drama, plot twists or even recurring characters whatsoever. I believe that storyline does have it place even in comics; Questionable Content is proof of this. And by and large, I'm definitely a fan of CAD; not a fanboy, as that would just be stupid, but still, a fan. Many of the criticisms usually levelled at it (bad artwork, too much dialogue, poor punchlines etc.) I either disagree with or simply don't care about. And yes, I still regularly read it.

But all that said, I think Buckley has somewhat murdered this particular plotline. Whether or not it had potential at the start (which is debatable, although I'll reserve my judgement on that), I think he's completely failed to capitalise on the potential it gave for character development. It started off fine; the comic which actually introduced the miscarriage was well-done indeed, with a succinctness which I doubt even the comics critics could criticse it for (either way they were too busy frothing at the mouth about the miscarriage thing in general). Then we had some character development with Lucas for strip. Ok, so we were back to what Yahtzee would probably call verbal diaorrhea, but still it worked well, I thought, and I liked it.

Then we had filler, or as Buckley termed it "cutting to commercial". That was probably the first sign for me that he'd quite literally lost the plot. Ok, so I realise he's already said he likes being able to switch between one-shots and storlyine as he pleases, but where's his sense of timing here? He can hardly call it an ad break if it lasts as long as the actual show already has. All he's done is made the storyline lost momentum. Perhaps because of this, when we did return to it, it had lost its edge. This wasn't helped by the fact that there was none of the promised character development between Ethan and Lilah; no friction, sparse few tears, and indeed little interaction at all. Frankly, it's just left me hoping that Tim hasn't lost his talent entirely.

But it's getting late, so enough about my thoughts. Tell me yours! And please, if you read this, comment. It would make me happy. =D

Song of the Week 2 // Answer

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Ok, sorry it's a little late. First of all, the answer to the riddle I set last blog. Like I said, there are two possible solutions:

1) Mathematically. If you add two halves, then obviously get 1. But if you multiply them, you get a quarter (0.25).

2) The more clever solution: if you have the following scenario:

Jack and John are half-brothers with the same father. John also has a half-sister called Jane, whom he has the same mother as. Jack and Jane marry and have a son, James.

Now, John is James' half-uncle on his father's side, but also on his mothers side, make him his half-uncle twice, so to speak - two 'halves'. But it would be incorrect to say that this makes John James' 'whole' uncle. Therefore, in this case, two halves don't make a whole.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed that. Now for another song, as promised. This week: Sixpounder, by Children of Bodom.

The song

The lyrics

A riddle and a poem

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Hello all. Not much new going on in my life, but I didn't think of a pretty decent riddle, and even managed to write a poem based on a dream (or nightmare) I had a few nights ago.

First, the riddle:

When are two halves together not a whole?

I've thought of two possible solutions so far. I'll say what they are next blog.

And now, the poem:

For a second, it hangs there in the sky
Beautiful, tranquil
A gaping hole into the void
But it cannot last

Soon, a noxious gas
If that it can be called
A destroyer of life and worlds
Pours out and fills the night sky
Smothering all with its blackness
And leaving the remains to the Reaper

And as I looked up at that dreadful Calamity
In the sky
It was horror
That I felt
Not fear, fright, or terror
For they are quite different
Terror is the unkown, the hiding shadow behind thought and feeling, the question, "what is happening?"
Horror is knowing full well what is happening
And knowing that there's absolutely nothing you can do to stop it.

Song of the Week (cba to do daily) 3

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Alright, because I'll just forget if I'm having to do it daily, I've decided to do a song of the week, not of the day. Starting today. Before I get onto the song, if anyone's interested, the music video for my last song, Nemo, can be found here. Anyway, not much else to say, so without further ado, my next song, Otherworld:

The song

Lyrics

No MV, sorry.

Various subjects // Song of the Day 2 (at last)

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Ok. At this point (ie. when I finallycome back here after however long spent away) I usually make a big speech about how I'm finally coming back. Then nothing happens. So no big speech this time. I'll try to be more active here. No promises. That said, now that I've finally joined the Code Lyoko RP (as YNB has been trying to get me to do for ages) at the behest of our good friend Cheesewind (not YNB :P), I'm often here, so I'll be looking around a bit more etc.

I've also gotten a bit bored of the other website I go on, SuperCheats. Well, there's more, but that's a long story. Basically, I won't be spending as much time there as I used to. Which, of course, allows me to spend more time here.

All that said, I'm not making any promises, and at any rate it'll probably be a while before I'm as active here as I used to be. In the mean time, anyone who wants to talk to me can do so on MSN. My address, in case you're all too lazy to look slightly further down this page (:P) is shadow_kahn@hotmail.co.uk. I can also be contacted by e-mail on the same address. Please do feel free to add me, I'm on most of the time these days.

And, finally, without further ado, my second song of the day, namely Nemo, by Nightwish, one of my long-time favourites:

The song

Lyrics

Harry Potter and the Deathly Phoenix

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And so I finally break my silence. The school holidays have dawned, and that means I'll finally beable to try and return to this site properly. To begin with, I'll try to dodaily blogs. Forums will, I'm afraid, have to come later. But enough on that.

I am speaking to you at 12:25, morning... ahem, afternoon of Sunday 22nd July. Yesterday was a big day for me...

I GOT HARRY POTTER 7! :D:D:D

I also Order of the Phoenix at the cinema. Hence the title, Harry Potter and the Deathly Phoenix, rather than Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

But anyway, back to the book...

Well, as anyone who knows me may well expect, I was one of those people who queued up for it at Midnight, having preordered it a few weeks ago. As soon as I got back, I started reading it. Kept that up until about 4.30 in the morning, at which point I became too tired to concentrate and had to go to sleep. Recommenced reading at 10.30, when I woke up, paused only to get washed, dressed and have breakfast and lunch, then kept reading it during the car journey on the way too see Order of the Phoenix at the cinema (4.00-4.30; the car journey, that is). By this point I'd nearly finished, so was able to finish it shortly after I got back home (having read it in the car journey on the way back, too, naturally). My verdict...

Bloody amazing! :D

It's just a shame the movie couldn't measure up to the same standard. It was alright in places, but entirely too rushed. They should have divided it into two films; as it is, they just couldn't do it justice whatsoever. Bit of a shame, that. But the book mad up for it. :)

Now, can someone tell me how to do that thing where you click on a link and more text appears? I want to add spoilers here, but naturally some people won't want to accidentally read them before they've read the book themselves. Thanking you all in advance.

And finally, something completely unrelated to Harry Potter: my second Song of the Day...

...when I can actually access my Putifle account. :P I'll add it when I add the spoilers.

Sayonara!