Melody of Misery

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okay heres some song lyrics that i wrote and want to present pls tell me if u like or not. thanks

1. "Neverending Cries"(2000)

Feeling the pain inside

is what i try to hide

Sometimes i wonder why

things will never change I

start to act real sly

but then Im really shy

I bet u wonder why

Its always the sane life


(Why oh Why, tell me, Why oh Why,

The hurting never ceases,

u broke my heart in peices

Why Oh Why, crying Why oh Why,

Now the fear just increases,

the hate never releases from my life)

Seeing fear in ur eyes

resembles suicide

the worthless genocide

meaningless Homicide its

just how i feel inside

my life has no delights

feeling im never right

I just cant feel alive'


People say pure is white

opinion that i chide

love will never give light

at least not to my life I

can feel the truth tonight

tells me theyre going to fight

love, hate, which one is right

Theyre going to collide


2. "About Me"(2005)

Let me tell u a story

You'd better watch ur back

There was a girl named Kourtney

This chick never took crap

When u tell jokes so corny

Around her u might get slapped

U wake up the next morning

bet u she will be back

Kourtney is not a bully

but this girl isnt a punk

i cant understand her fully

not with a little luck

i really hate her truly

but cynically i suck

sometimes she's really moody

and she doesnt give a fuk

because i dont like her, but i know her, i dont need her, shes not like me, i want to kill her i believe her but i cant decieve her, shes too much for me, i hate her, i hate her.

anyways thats just me on the outside looking in

3. "Refusing to love"2005

you are a b1tch baby leave me the fuk alone

baby why the fuk are u bothering me

lady im fed up dammit why cant u see

crazy cant u see what ur doing to me

honey ur too soft to be fuking with me

what would u say if i start bothering u

girl im too psycho to be bothered with u

But when u see just what i can be

Youll wish u never start fuking with me

thats just a personal threat to this girl that kept teasing me about this boy i liked for a while.

4. "Crystal clear"2003

Another dream that will never come true is a slogan stuck in my head

Another life that im living in you, the life of a girl that has everything to gain

Another key that will open ur heart will always keep u healthy

And all of the crazy sounds ur starting to hear will all exit out and journey inside of me

chorus (I find delight in u

this is the way i feel

living with evil at the door

knowing that i am real

evil will come to go away

but i dont really care)

Another wall keeps me locked up from u

making me feel lonely

I'll find a way and I'll always come through

Theres nothing else that can keep me locked away

I dont think this world is happy for me or anybody in it

Well, thats alright bcus i really dont care

Why does it matter when i have u here with me


Stay away from me, Dont come near me (4x)

leave my side....stay away from me..u make me feel this way..oh why


Now this song is obviously made with the background music of Disturbed's "Prayer"

and i made it for a love of mine back in 2003

pls tell me if they are good. thanks I have alot more its just my hands are tired of typing and i have to go cook dinner

Princess OF Immortality: Kourtney Kristilana

Worldwide Anarchy: Avarice lives, Kourtney dies

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Well, seems like someone read my blog and i guess understood me and released me from my cage so yes im glad to be back, no longer suspended but im sure my freedom wont last forever for the bloody waters drown only the innocent and the waters of life kills the guilty therefore I will always lose but it takes a Worldwide revolt to affect the chosen ones in power, they will all bow, i promise, at my feet, not bcus i am royalty but because i am not a gamespot whore, Im will never be one, and not a child of light, but a bastard of the lonely realm of darkness I have dweled all of my life and i cannot join the crowd for in them i would gain life but it shall be taken from me like a fish thats been caught then thrown back into the sea,

I cannot deny who i am, i cannot sacrifice myself for simply a good name, a perfect record, the world can fuk themselves and watch me break down under the pressure, i made myself a promise years ago to never be one of the forgotten but rather one of the avoided one of the ignored but yet a force to be reckoned with, ppl can turn their heads, they can close their eyes but I'll still be there, in your nightmares, in your subconscious soul killing u slowly and watching u burn,

SDOM, I tell u again, come now, and bury your dead, for tomorrow your brothers shall bury you amongst the cadavers of these fools who dare oppose the princess, and so they shall die for Avarice will kill them in time, heavy is the head that wears the crown, what an legendary quote, bold statement, its bullsheep i tell u, if the head that wears the crown is equipped with a black heart it will make the job alot more easier, so if you have the burning desire to do the unthinkable, the decision is in your hands but dont you forget theres a price you will pay because I am indeed the Game, and Im ready to Play :evil:


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Well, i think i know whats going on, i have been suspended bcus i cant be banned because i can still see my profile so im suspended, i found out by trying to resign from all of my uinions but GS said suspended/banned users cannot edit their profile in such, so how long am i suspended?, I dont know, Why am I suspended I dont know but i'll be back, to all of the leaders in my unions, Im sorry for not posting, GS will not allow me too, and to any mods reading this Fuk off u cowards, oh and dont ban me, please.....

What would I do for you?...not ready to C L T her.

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um, okay well, havent done one of these in a while, and Im kind of scared to do this, I dont know. What would i do for you?, tell me, are you ready to um, well, yes, Do you want to?. I can complete it. I scare myself, what if we take away, would you like me to take away, My whore, save us, i said save us, please, you can no longer burn. Put the fire out. but what can i take away, Ive taken everything but i still am not happy. I scare myself. So there is nothing more that I can do but Walk away, So that's what I'll do, You'll never see me again. because you have never seen me before. I scare myself. Remember your fatal sin setting fire to the Kristilauhum kingdom, Now its time for you to serve. I can save you, just say master, save me, SAVE me, i couldnt believe you as you kill me, my destiny is fulfilling, I wasnt listening, and now i cant find a way to protect myself from me. Dont let me scare you, I swear I scare myself. thats all. please believe me. I must have your trust and your faith.

Princess of Misery :  Kourtney de la fuego

Zeverence Kills: Im your W hore for Life

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um yeh, um, okay i was listening to this beautiful song about sluts and whores and i loved it until i found out what the lyrics were and they were sick but i found myself loving it more and  more anyone ever hear shabutie: Kinderwhore and Godfathers Lollipop, i heard these songs a few years back but i thought they were a good melody until ive read the lyrics and my baby claudio is or very perverted now i want him even

Well im so bored so im just going to write um..well i dont know, work was a struggle last night i think ive injured my ribs on my new abs machine because i couldnt really breathe too well and my ribs hurt like hell and i wanted to leave work until my manager kept picking on me saying i was weak and laughing at me and singing songs so i finally built up the guts to tell him to shut the f u c k up and he sent me home telling me next time this will result in disciplinary actions, but i didnt care i was really rude to all of my customers because they were asses as usual so last night was an i dont care period night, if i was fired i dint care i will get paid today anyways so im not upset...

Anyways um..well, yes im really bored, seems the sun is about to set so i'll go watch it fall and welcome the night with open arms well, um okay i better go before its too late...

Lost Beautiful Dead: Kourtney Kristilana

One Killer I cant Kill

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Thats right, its the only killer that lives forever, is it love? no, hate? no, happiness? no, its guilt, but why should i feel giulty, You see I am not the only one, we all walk amongst each other killing, faking and dying and begging, everyday, so why should i run and hide from everyone, I am not a demon, i dont have to hide, i am not an angel i dont have to shine, i am just a human being i make mistakes.

Why cant u see that?..u know i think i have a disease deep inside, that is slowly spreading and some are strangled and torn daily by it but i must suffer for their wrongdoing, i cant do that, please i wish you'd leave me alone, please accept me, dont reject for my friendship is what will save you if you believe, just believe in me, you see, i know im an idiot, and im shamelessly admitting it, but what u said about me, you know that your wrong

you better stop talking you cannot stop these bullets from spearing your school and make everyone bleed and you cannot control the proceeding, you see, i know the  time is now for you to wanna kill me but i will change your mind and make u not want to kill me stab me or screw me, see you know that im so easy so why do u want to kill me?

I take my life so seriously and u cant do what u plan to do, you will not kill me i recieved my life from you, but I'll protect my life from you so dont test me, dont try me, you will not be fighting, because i will not let you, all i ask is for you to do this thing for me and make me feel so happy, make me feel so happy. I do not like you.

But i dont regret you, im actually happy that i met u, ur the reason why i have been misunderstood, u exposed me for what i really am, but u couldnt look past my black heart, u couldnt taste the blood that dripped though the narrow crevaces and u couldnt taste my tongue in your mouth, am i not entertaining eough for u?

Well tell everyone, I'm giving u up go ahead and find someone new, but dont let him suck your d!ck bcus u will be addicted and u will compromise your own state of mind, u will be more twisted than i, and the angels will mortify you as the demons crucify yhou, u shall be hated by all, God, Satan, the angels, the demons, the humans, the animals and even death will not accept you you cant find any refuge, you see your days are numbered and u will not escape my zeverance you worthless peice of sh!t ur heart full of Avarice.

Falling Star:Kourtney Alma Verdido

Goodbye to love, Love kills

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Today is well, i don't know the date, at least i cant think of it but its Friday, and it is terrible day, like Sunday, worse day of the week, followed by Saturday, greatest days are Monday and Tuesdays, anyways, just came here to say that there is a killer worse than cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, guns, knives or any other weapon of choice

and its love, why has it been created, its not right, and it does no one any good, love should be cancelled or terminated, and erased out of the book of life, i have never been in true love, never, and thats a great thing, no one should fall in love, because it will slowly kill u, not betrayal, not forgiveness, but simple love, even if it is real, it burns a hole in the heart and weakens the body and mind and turns intelligent independent human beings into hypnotized mindless drones and that is worse than anything life can throw at you.

well, today was a pathetic day for me, i actually escaped a shooting in the park, well i avoided it, i wanted to go to the park to jump off of the scaffold and see how bad it would hurt, too take away the green out of my eyes and turn my blood black, just once i want to escape myu body and see what people will think of me, will they finally understand me, but anyways instead of going to the park i for some reason went to the library and just sat in the back behind the bookshelf and work on some more blood art for society's beration, and i stayed for an hour, manage to cut Avari, and there was no more room so i had to use my other arm, but then it would read Avari Celiv, and it wouldn't look right, but then it would take too long too go away so i had to just cover it and leave before anyone catches me, and i walked home, and then when i arrived home my dad told me he was scarred that i had been shot for there was gunshots at the park as i was leaving and he knew i was going there and he was happy that i didn't go there, and being shot is not a cool way to die, so i guess i was intelligent there

i don't understand why everyone thinks suicide is a coward death, it takes real guts to commit suicide, because its u that have to do it, u make the choice, and its honorable in my book, mu mom hate me, great, now we have a win win relationship

well i cannot stay here any longer i have to go.

Sexy Anarchist: Avarice Causynah Despirano

Kristilahnium: A world devoid of Light, and Innocence, and Sin

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Can i really say that?..

how can a world be devoided of both sin and innocence, its possible as far as i know i guess, for me, i am but i am not, i am not innocent and will never be, but i am a sinner forever but i havent sinned, is being a child of death and a princess of darkness killing me, and how  fast is the hourglass emptying, what will this be when all is said and done, will everyone remember me??..

Will u all let me go, and take my deserving position to lie in a dark gripping terrifying grave that was not meant for me, yes, thats what u want, and so shall i do... I am going to ride this plane out of ur life agin but this time i will not return for i have overstayed my welcome and my hunger is never filled. I will continue dying until i can let everything release from me,l tell u what u need to know, Killa Princess Child of lies, shes making me so mad...You told this was not going to be fun, well this is the only one, the only time we can enjoy this moment, u wont forget what was promised, dont ignore this we better life life, we have to endure it but we cannot, for its not like anything we've ever seen before.

Im sorry, I must tell u all, i cant do this anymore, I cant face myself im just left with the suffering, plz i want to state a short summary of my relationship 2 you in full reciprocity..

I am dead to silence, regretting nothing. Rebellion is my specialty, there is more confusion but no solution, causing problems to smother me, filled with animosity and additional stress, yes me i dont wanna be wanted, for no more sorrow was what u promised, statements sworn under your deceit, and to acknowlege my life existes adds more pain to my misery endless suffering, can u feel my imagination take over this world, nobody can deny me, You took my world away, ur reverence is behind me, now i know how much I hate..

so if u tell me to move on, You'll never see my face again, but if u let me know whats wrong, we may be able to ammend this, or flame ignites, burning our lives...Nemo, i love you..Forever..

Child Of Lies: Kourtney Kristilana

Avarice Lives

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well, here is another one of my boing blogs today is thing 26, 2006, and im bored as hell, its 1: 33 p.m. and ive already been to the gym, so ive already had fun today, but now theres nothing to do, no work, no study, no nothing, and no one is online to talk to me, only when im not available, well, im bored, i would go somewhere but the sun is shining and i hate the light, ,....well, i should do something here that i hope will be read by the person i'd like...Nemo, hello, there is nothing i can say or do to help our situation because apologies are not enough, but i can empower u for all eternity, if i can stay behind again, because i refuse to make the greatest sacrafice and deify a dictator, so that cant be mended but i can be what u want me to, even though it would mean nothing to the both of us, especially u, this process should be completley, the healing will commence but penance cant kill us, at least not yet, i can sit here and rot or understand who i am and who u are ad let go, because the one who u may find enmity with for a while may be ur pill. just one pill the one that takes u away and never allows u to be anyone but urself......  well thats it...till next time...

ur Dark Princess

Kourtney Kristilana


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