Introducing the latest way Sony plans on failing this generation......
:::::::::: DRUMROLL PLEASE ::::::::::::
THE PS3 SLIM!
What? No applause?
Oh yeah, of course there's not, because it's crap.
Sony has decided that people don't want nice things in their homes. Who'd want something that looks nice in their entertainment center? That would let others speculate that the owner had taste and standards and you know, eyes that worked.
So we're fortunate enough that Sony has released the ugliest console in recent memory. But wait, you ask "Leroy, it can't be THAT bad"
In response I'd like to remind readers that my name is Jason and no, it's bad.
Yes it's smaller but it's got basically the same footprint, what's changed is it's height and that's never been an issue. Also by lowering it's height when horizontal that means that when it's vertical it easily tips over. Don't worry though Sony is already making stands for the console. See they knew there'd be a problem there and instead of including the stand they have you buy it separately, isn't Sony great?
Let's get to my biggest issue, it's finish, or lack thereof.
The console is wrapped in flat unfinished plastic that has a texture. The outside of the console looks like it's at step 2 out of 5 on the assembly line. Know when writable DVD's started picking up and everyone got one of those cheap Apex DVD players so they could watch home movies of family events on them? The Apex DVD players that brand new out of the box looked the same as components that are heavily weathered at a yard sale?
That's what the Slim looks like
Kitty's tongue = PS3 Slim
Who gives electronic components a texture?
I mean who else besides a company trying to cut costs by releasing an inferior product releases electronic components with a texture?
What's the number one threat to all electronics?
Gorilla drinking Red Bull with a sack of hammers
But you know the SECOND biggest problem?
So what does Sony do? They release a console that if you listen veeeery close you can actually hear it sucking the dust towards it. Run a Swiffer over it and you'll have a very nice contrast between the dusted plastic on top and the dust filled texture underneath.
I'm sure Sony's original plan was to just throw all the PS3 components in a cardboard box and let users cut a slit in the side and call it a "green" console.
The new Slims can't run third party applications on them. That's not a big deal since most users don't even know it can so that's not something worth complaining about. If someone wants me to I'd be more then happy to edit this but I'd much rather do another sentence on how awful the thing looks.
Honestly, this thing is the console eqivalent of watching how hot dogs are made.
So let us count some Sony failures this generation shall we?
SONY SAYS RUMBLE IS A LAST GEN FEATURE
That worked well for them
SONY OFFERED BACKWARD COMPATIBILITY - FOR A WHILE
Glad to see that was such a pressing need they had to work to eliminate it.
SONY THINKS BACKWARD COMPATIBILITY IS DEAD
Which after reading the last link has to make you giggle lol
Now that's not even counting it's underwhelming PSN service which I always say...
"The best way to describe the PSN service is that it feels like it's free"
The fact that the PS3 is just weak when it comes to games. I hear Sally Struthers is starting a new charity getting game disks into hungry PS3 drive slots. I mean the console is pathetic when it comes to games.
It's got a few exclusives and then......nothing lol
Multiplats are all better elsewhere save maybe 3 titles?
"Sony, when you can't possibly want the best"
I mean the refs in Madden this year don't even have striped socks. I'm also pretty sure that Hasselbeck only has one hand and Adrian Peterson just "hovers" over the field because he's only got a torso, head, and arms.
But let's stick to the PS3 Slim just like all the dust on the planet
Not only is it a failed attempt to beat Microsoft....(how's that Elite price drop taste Sony? Want another bite?)
It's giving the users less and hoping they fall for it
The Slim is inferior to the "fat" but Sony doesn't care, they're content with failing this gen. The "fat's" nice buttons? Gone, too expensive. They're just trying to cover their losses as much as possible before the next gen starts.
So remember this saying for the current generation
"Not everything that fails is Sony, but everything that's Sony fails"