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Gaming-Planet Blog

My New Banner - MLP related

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It's Pinkie Pie! In humanized form.

Aint it sexy? One on the far left reminds me of a prostitute in GTA, the middle is like, well I'm not sure, and the far right is a like some bad ass evil chick which I like!

If you watch the series, you'd know why she looks like that in the far right. The complete opposite.

Ha, Just When I Thought Things Couldn't Get Any Worse

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So last year was like one of my worst years by far in this decade. Parents suffering from financial problems, family drama, and broken holidays and dreams. Yes, last year was sure a living hell from what you can tell.

During my last 6 six months of last has been drama with the family. My brothers and sisters ended up leaving our home and living on their own, I'll explain why later. Not only that, we left off with a debt and lost all of our stuff we owned like, weight sets, computers, couches, furniture, beds, utilities, anything you can think of that would also be in a nice garage sale.

Everything we had to sell to make up the money to live in the apparntmentwe are currently living. and it still wasn't enough to make up the cash we had borrowed to live here. We sold all of our items for like 90% off than what it was worth, seriously!

Not only that, I gave away my consoles to my bros thinking I could recover from these and get some of own again, but not with the finicial problems we are still going through. It was my own generosity to hand them over all my video games because I knew it would be hard living on your own making minimum wage.

So, the whole story that lead to all this mess was the drama between my brother in-law and my step dad. My step dad has a huge problem letting go problems, and in the past he had gotten into an argument with my sister, causing them to never see face to face again. Yeah, it was bad, believe me. She was harassed by him a lot. Anyway, my step-dad decided to follow her on the road after seeing her car. She suffers from anxiety like I do so she contacted my brother in-law and my older sister then found out about it. I have 2 sisters, by the way.

So after that my brother in-law had a discussion with my mom, and he blew every out of proportion and exagerated the whole situation saying my step-dad chased my sister on the road, when really it was a just following(confirmed by my sister that was followed). So my mom was angry at what she had heard. After all of that, she had a discussion with my step-dad, telling him to let it go and all the stuff she had always told him.

Then my brother in-law took us out to tell us the whole event that had happened because none of us had known at that point. Giving us all anxiety and making it look like a bad situation, he suggested that we would go to his parent's place to spend the night there, and so we did as he said thinking it was the safest solution to this mess.

More stuff goes on and I am ordered to go home again. I really wanted to vomit from all the anxiety because I had gone through terrible messes like this in the pass, but much worse where fighting was involved, so that scared me the most. I get home, and we see my bother in-law's car damaged. It was keyed and the front lights were bashed. Obviously it was a my step-dad. He wasn't at home at the time and was at an interview. My brothers all pack up and leave while I stay home.

Ha, now this is where I want to **** in my pants because I am now stuck with a crazy dude that might harm me. So I do the right thing and call 911. They ignore my call and transfer me after saying it wasn't an emergency because I was not in harm. Basically I'm supposed to get stabbed first before I call 911 or something, **** I just wanted protection for whatever might come. So when they transfer me, then I figure my phone had been disabled. Jesus Christ, punch me

So my step-father comes knocking on my bathroom door and telling me to get out with a angered voice. He told me what I was doing and said I was only taking a pooper. My mom then called and I wanted to talk in private, but he wouldn't let me. So then he pushes me and threatens me thinking I was trying to do something to him. My mother screams and rages and that's when she rushes home from work to beat his ass or whatever.

I calm him down and do a few manipulative tricks I do to change their way of thinking and to gain trust. I am a natural at this so this always helps when I am caught into a mess with nothing to defend myself but my voice. I got him out of my house at this point(I won't get into details on how I did it)and I felt a sense of relieved but I knew he'd be coming back.

My mom then comes home and I tell her the whole thing and the truth. We slept like soldiers that night, prepared for anything that might come.

From the day I was born, I have always been caught into the middle of **** in life and always had to do the difficult tasks for no reason what so ever, I deserve none of this.

Really bad luck lately.

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To start off my horrible luck, I have to move back to San Jose. This is because my parents work over there and it's too much of a pain to refill a gas tank every other day with the current gas prices.

I will miss all my friends over at my HS, was a great year. I didn't even say goodbye to most of them because I was unsure when the time will come, then my mom tells me it is this summer over in July. I hate moving, it's gonna be like my 8th in my life time.

Well I usually play this MMO called RS because I have nothing else better to do. I run out of mems and try to regain it back from doing surveys like I usually do, made 110 $ off doing it. I somehow get banned and lose my pin. Wasted my free time on that. Can't even get my paybycash to work properly due to a glitch.

So I walk a mile to and back from a store to buy one but none in stock. This was around 11pm lol.

So I try buying a pin after waiting a few days doing real world trading, but then I find a seller. I get scammed 9.2m lol yeah FML.

Enough with the childish games...

My drier is broken and didn't get a notice about it after I had washed my clothes so I'm stuck with a bunch of wet clothes. Today I wake up with dog crap on my floor along with piss aside of it. It was huge and nearly threw up picking it up. I cleaned the remains using those sweet vacums.

I have no food in the fridge... We're losing a lot of money. I'm pretty hungry. My mom still owes a few tax money like 5k.

My mom lost basically all of her savings (30k) on paying for rent, gas, car, electricity, etc. All because no one else is working and willing to contribute. My brother got F-d in the ass by his GF and got is car repoed, paid it, repoed again because he kept paying for her rent.

Sigh... just not a very good summer or a year perhaps. Stress is roaming around the house and I feel pretty stuck at the moment. Hopefully things will get better. I know others are having it worse right now.

Merry Christmas! I got a 360 Slim.

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So it's finally that time of year. This has got to be the most rollercoaster-type year so far. Learned so many things and was able to experience a lot.

Christmas was pretty chill. Hung out with some family, ate some tasty food, and had a chance to open up some presents. Your typical Christmas, ya know?

I finally got myself a 360, and a slim one too! It's a 4G though since that was the only one available. That's ok, I'll upgrade the memory and maybe get myself a Kinect.

I also got some sweet Marvel Earphones. I really needed some since my apple ones broke.

Something also really exciting happened this Christmas. My sister got engaged. Woohooo! She's 25 and almost done with College. Sounds like a good time to get Married. :D

Pretty sweet Christmas this year.

Wish you all a Merry Christmas... or xmas. :P

Appreciate

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As a kid I never once appreciated anything. Not matter how much I was given, I'd find something to complain. I'd be called ungrateful from my Mom and never understood why. I always said thank you, but I guess words weren't enough. I realized I was ungrateful after all. My mother saw it from me because I would always complain about something I was given. For example if I were to get a gift, I would start off with a thank you then later off complain how it was made cheaply or ask for more, like why didn't the box come with more of this or why isn't it like the picture. I never realized many of things I said were ungrateful, I thought it was normal.

I didn't grow up with much, I was a low class family. I did have a rented house, a car, clothing, and food. Even though they may not had been the best, they were something. It was very hard for one parent to do all these things. My mom was like a father and a mother to me. She had 6 kids to take care of too, you'd be amazed how she managed to take care of that many in a low class family. She did her best to do 3 jobs at once, working and being a Mother and a father. She did everything she can to make us happy, even if the monster living in our house were to ever interfere. She sarreficed her time for us, she wasn't selfish about it one bit.

There are many people in this world that live it harder than us, but many of them do appreciate what they have. Some of them don't have shelter, food, or very good clothing. They hope for it to get better, the time and patience is well worth it. Those people that do make it into a better life through all that patience, get all the things they had hoped for. What if suddenly they had made the same mistake as me? Complain and become ungrateful. They would slowly get those things taken away from them, being negative and losing that feeling of hope for things to get better.

It's something that is related to what I am going through now. I had always hoped to have get a better life, a bigger home, nicer clothes. I did get those slowly with patience but may suddenly start to lose those again because of my ungratefulness. I wanted more than just that, I complained why I couldn't be rich like the other people you see on TV. Those people on TV you see, most of them are doing what they love and are rewarded with it. They don't ask for all those things, they are given by other people with money or rewarded objects. Not all of them are like that, and you see them go through the same path as all of them. They get all of their things taken away from them. They wanted more and more, but couldn't get it. It just wouldn't be fair for everyone else, life isn't a fantasy where you could choose everything you want in life. We have video games for that, to replace those feelings. Something I enjoy most about video games.

Now back to the situation I am going through now. Recently my step dad lost his job and now only 1 person is working. My mom doesn't want to struggle in life anymore, I understand that very well, she's struggled it since the day she was born. I may live in a smaller home, start to get things taken away from me, going back to eating the same food. I guess I have no excuse to complain, I've already done a lot of complaining to most of things I was given. It's time for me to start to appreciate what I am given and hope for things to get better and work at it.

If your dream was to do a certain thing in life and put a lot of effort and hope to go for it then later ask for more bigger things, you'd better stop and think. In this life we only get one big story. It wouldn't be fair for everyone else if you lived the perfect life and got to do every little things you wanted or to have. Think about that...

(Will edit soon but too lazy right now)

Depression has ruined my life.

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Ok, I need to let this out somehow... It won't leave my head! :x I've had depression for almost my entire life and it's gotten worse over the years and harder to bottle up emotions. I find myself in class thinking and having thoughts of my issues. It's come to the point where I can't focus straight in class and I'm their wasting hours just thinking and not doing my work. It's like having two jobs at once, me fighting depression and trying to succeed in my work. It's nearly impossible!

My grades have dropped like crazy because of this and I also have a notice that I may be expelled for skipping school. It's so hard to sleep these days, I either sleep way too much or I get none at all. I usually come home and stare at the clock or go to bed and try to finish up some work later. It doesn't work out too well and sometimes I have to stay home to finish some work. Sometimes I don't wake up at all and it's pointless to come. I even fall asleep in class to ignore the pain. No one understands how much pain I'm going through now, teachers and authorities don't help much and they'd probably do their best to encourage me.

I feel locked up in my mind, thinking of the past, the present, the future, current issues, issues about myself. It's so bad now that I feel like exploding during class but I try my best to bottle it up. It's like the feeling of being choked. I haven't seen a bad report card in years until this year. I have a bunch of F's and I'm failing really bad. I might even get kicked out of school if this keeps up. I'm scared and don't know what to do anymore.

I'm tired of feeling like this almost everyday, I can't be myself anymore. My real personality is being closed up by this, my feelings become numb and I end up stop caring. I know that's not what I want to be, it just happens and I can't do anything to change it. I feel physically sick all the time now. Arrgh I hate it. I just want to be happy for once, I've never experienced it!

-Sigh- I hope every night that tomorrow will be better but that seems to never happen, I end up being disappointed. I know I can get straight A's, I've been close to it before. I know I can get 100% on a test! ...but battling with such a disease makes it nearly impossible... It's hard to except the truth, but I have a severe depression that has been kept bottled up for too long.

Back to School!

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Ok, it has been about 3 weeks since school started. :)

So far it has been ok, nothing much has changed within the school. New policies are kind of dumb, they keep changing them. I've got a nice tan too :o I'm glad I can be either really white or really dark. Best of both worlds!

My face has also seem to change a lot over these paste few months. I'm liking it so far. :) Looks cute/sexy and my hair seems to go well with my eyes along with the tan. Teens years have been kinda hellish for me going through that ugly duckling stage + acne:| was cute when I was a kid... seems to be going back though.

I've met some new people but I wouldn't considered them as friends yet. If I were playing Sims, our relationships would be probably around 25-30+.

I'm still the same quiet kid though... I'm always in serious mode or super bored mode. When I am at home or with close friends I am the crazy hyper kid.

I haven't thought about getting a girl yet :/ Never really had a crush in HS. I want a fun, cute girl that can cuddle. >_>

My schedule for this Year:

Spanish 1. It sucks! :x

English 3. It's english :? Teacher is cool.

Geometry. Finally! After 3 years of retaking Algebra, I can finally do Geometry!

Chemistry. Thanks to Geometry I can take this **** :3 I love science

US History. ...... Boring...

And finally....

ComputerAppsAdvance. Same as last year, just more complicated. Isn't teaching me anything new :? seems like more work of the same bull.

I failed my goals for this summer. :(

School is finally out! Summer break here we come!

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So, school is officially out! Weird how it ends on Thursday. They did this for a reason so kids wouldn't ditch on Friday... and we had finals on the last day of school V_V so mean.

I didn't really get to say goodbye to any of my friends. It was also raining... yeah May rain O.o

Now I have no idea what to do over the summer. I'll try not to waste this one like I have done with all the others. I'll make a list of things I want to do!

The Day I stopped Smiling...

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I used to be a cheerful kid. I loved being the center of attention around the house, and still do. I was always curious about everything, asking questions about everything. I wasn't like any other kid like mom would say. I was very special to her.

Her life has always been about work. Work, work, work was all she did. There were times when we spent time together when I was little... but I don't remember much. Probably because I compressed my memories so deep that I have forgotten all the good memories about my childhood. The only thing that rises from that hole are my bad memories.

From what I remember, the horror all started on that one day - the day my mom had gotten off from work. I was with my dad at that time(age 3-4)... getting ready to pick her up from work. Once we got there, my father did something that he should have not done. While we drove around my mother's work parking lot (Target) he saw my mom hugging another guy. This guy was just a friend for **** sake. My father had always been an ass, even before they were together. He too, probably had a rough childhood. All I could remember was my dad telling me that my mom had cheated on him. I was confused about it, but for some reason I knew it was a lie, I couldn't accept it. He had always been a good liar to me... eh, I guess you could say my whole childhood was a lie, full of confusion and blurs.

He came out of the car and he argued with my mom. I was there staring at the whole thing. Then it came... he slapped my mom. It felt like the whole world had stopped. I stared at my dad... with that stink eye look on my face. The smile I once had was no longer there. My mother looked at me - wondering. She knew that I found out how much of a monster my dad was. That cheerful look that I always had on my face was gone forever. She knew I was angry, that I hated my father after that. I remember us(don't remember what parent) going to a park after that. I'm not sure it was after the work or before. I can't remember... All I remember was that I was at the park with someone for some reason. I remember that gut feeling I had... I knew something bad was about to happen. I was filled with lies by my parents, not knowing what was the real situation. Mother would probably say things to keep me from stop worrying. My father would lie about things to make my mother look bad. I couldn't trust my father.

By the time I arrived home, that's when the chaos happened. Both of my parents argued all day about that "man" at Target. My father would always bring up the past just to hurt my mom. He would make her cry in front of me, beat her. He was no longer my father... more like my enemy.

--

Almost every single day they would argue about that day. My "Father" would call my mom names, tease her, and threaten her. I was terrified... broken inside. I had nowhere to scream for help. Whenever my dad would start losing the fight, he would bring back that same moment all the time - Her "boyfriend" at Target. Calling her a cheater and such. It was nothing like that. He just loved to make her sad and angry. I remember the days my mom would cry and take me into to the car to escape from that place my father calls "home sweet home". She would park at a random place, far away from home. She would cry, and cry. Say gibberish things that I didn't really understand at the time. She would hug me tight, and say sorry for things that weren't her fault.

Huh, seems like I mentioned more than I expected. By the way, I no longer live through this nightmare. My father is long gone. Just felt like sharing my story to others. :) I kept on thinking about it all day, I just had to write it.

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