Unsure if you're a fanboy? The following editorial is an actual test to determine if you are a fanboy. Read the article from start to finish and by the end I guarantee you will know if you are a game console fanboy.
The user submitted gaming media these days consist of 90% fanboy babble stating the same points over and over again. I view video games as an art and I enjoy debating the merits and flaws of certain games but regardless of what I write people turn it into a console attack session. Nothing is heard over the din but "the PS3 is terrible" or in the correct Internet colloquiums "PS3 suxxors lol".
I could go on about how "it is really about the games" or something as almost as cliché as the fanboy talking points but I would rather look at the psychology of fanboyism. Why? Well I think we can learn a lot and apply the same science to how people get overly emotional and irrational about other things like sports, religious affiliation, nationality, ethnic backgrounds, and politics. Choosing sides on the console wars is nothing more than becoming part of a group. Unfortunately when human beings become a member of a group, they feel the need to hate the people outside of their group. It must be genetic because since the beginning of time wars have been fought over small differences in groups of people who will oddly band together in a few short years to fight people with slightly larger differences. Looking back at history it is amazing the human race still exists.
Blind Allegiance and Spin
To be a proper fanboy no matter how many times your gaming system screws you, you need to focus on the positive. We have all read the comments by the Xbox fanboy that had a 360 with the red ring of death four times but he will talk about how great the customer service is and that it's all free. No wireless Rock Band controller but the PS3 gets one? The wired one is better because it feels more like a real guitar. If the Xbox burned down a fanboy's house, he would talk about it really gave his family a chance to get a new house and that the PS3 sucks because it doesn't have the burn down your house feature.
Obsession with Sales Charts
As a corporate slave, I get called into meetings where I have to look at sales charts despite being a computer programmer. I find the meaningless numbers and graphs mind numbingly boring. Maybe if I really felt like the corporation that employs me really cared about me (it doesn't), I would care about the corporate sales charts. That is why I find it curious that some people care about a console maker's sales chart when that corporation doesn't think twice about bleeding them dry for money.
I guess it is like it is some kind of a sport to these people where the sales chart is the score. If your console sales are higher, your team is winning. These people track the trading of corporate executives like they were the third baseman from the Yankees. If you actually worked for a corporation, you would know that people at the top really have very little impact into the final product. These people sit in meetings where the topic of discussion isn't on making better games but how to make a profit out of milking kids dry.
Fanboys seem to spend hours of their lives fighting for their corporation. Maybe that is why they feel that they are part of the corporate team. They should unionize and actually demand compensation instead having to pay $600 to work for marketing. In reality most of their work is read by people who already picked a favorite corporation. It is really irrelevant because the majority of systems are bought by soccer moms because it is on sale.
Always Looking to Debate
It doesn't matter what the news article is about - it is somehow related to the console wars. The article could be about kids learning from video games in school and the Xbox fanboy will post a comment, I am sure he thinks is funny, like "they probably can't learn anything when it is only displaying 30fps". If there aren't any opposing fanboys just make up something they might say and debate it with your self.
Collecting Dust/Echo Chamber
The fanboy will often talk about consoles they have never really owned or spent a significant amount of time with. Fanboys just repeat talking points over and over despite never having any clue. I naively believed that the PSP was slow to load games because I have heard from fanboys 1000 times. After purchasing seven different games for the PSP, I haven't come across the unbearably slow load time. I am sure there was some early sports game with a minute load time but it doesn't seem to reflect anything I have seen yet. The PSP does have actual flaws that are never mentioned in fanboy talking points. (I will have to have a future editorial on the reality of the PSP.)
The other set of fanboys always mention how their unfavored console is "collecting dust". If I paid $250+ for a console I never played, I would be really quiet about it. This just says "I am a moron with money to burn." Even if you say you sold it on Ebay after a month you still look like a moron.
Selective Facts and Complete Irrationality
It doesn't matter if the Xbox's games sales in Japan are less than the Atari Jaguar, if the Wii out sells the PS3, the Xbox fanboy is ecstatic. Just talk about how "360 pwned PS3" even if the news article doesn't really say that.
Steven Colbert's character is genius. He totally captured the guy who wants to believe his point of view despite any relation to the actual facts or logic. Fanboys act the same way. It doesn't matter if the chances of God of War 3 coming to the Xbox 360 are less than zero, this guy heard it on a forum so it must be true. To quote the great philsopher Steven Colbert:
Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.
"No Good Games"
A typical fanboy always talks about how there are "no good games" on the enemy system. I think looking at any critic aggregator site would prove otherwise for all of the systems. In reality the fanboy really means to say is - "there are no good games in my limited genres I play." Here is the fanboy translation guide:
Wii - I don't like games that have different controls.
360 - I don't like shooters and driving games.
PS3 - I like my versions of the same games to have worthless achievement points.
PSP - I really never play portable games
DS - I am worried about people not thinking I am a man for playing cutesy games.
Somehow negative things about your console are really the fault of the competing corporations. The reason the directional pad on the Xbox is unusable is because all of the patents are held by the competitors. Really? How is it possible that all of these third party controllers have completely usable directional pads? How many times have you heard that the Dreamcast died because of the inflated talk of Sony executives before the PS2 came out? Seriously?
Bad News is Good News
If the PS3 has some bad news, it must be good news to the Xbox fanboy. I guess the games on the Xbox get better if a PS3 exclusive game comes out and is terrible. The thinking is that if the competing consoles dies the Xbox will become a better system without competition. Because history has proven when Microsoft kills the competition, that's when the real innovation starts. It is kinda funny because I writing this on Windows which has a new looking interface every three years but still "works" the same way every $200. Xbox fanboys are happy to pay for over priced micro-transactions now, but I wonder if they still don't mind when something, that should have been in the original game, are even higher in the absence of competition?
If you are stuck in a corner about how to defend your console, your last line of defense is to just start attacking the person who slighted your console. It changes the subject and you never have to say anything remotely to the point. They must be wrong if their icon, name, grammar or previous comments were stupid. If it was some corporate executive, just bring up that corporation's negative history going back to 1950.
There is a reason I have no images or any kind of descriptions of myself here. It's because when people don't like your point, they rip apart anything about you instead of countering your point with reason. I guess it is easier. The only thing I have here on Gamespot is previous gaming ratings and people have commented that my opinion is wrong because only stupid people would give Black a 9.0.
I really don't see an end to the fanboys upsetting themselves on the Internet fighting the great console war. I suppose it is harmless because they almost never take it into the real world with exception of this kid. I guess if they didn't do it they would be fighting over worse subjects like politics or religion. It is still better than being one of those annoying Yankee fans.
Test Results: Did you notice all my comments were skewed at the Xbox fanboys? Did it make you really irrationally angry/happy that I picked on Xbox fanboys? Yes? Congratulations you're a bonafide certified fanboy moron. You should really take a good look at yourself and maybe seek out medical help. Seriously there are really more important things in life to get upset about.