No it's nothing to do with The Darkness, I assure you. I have just come back from Gunagzhou in China to see relatives on my mum's side. I have to say though that the whole experience has been hell for me and I am so glad to be back alive.
Well, not exactly back home yet, but I'm back in Hong Kong. Only nine more days until I will be back on home of the U.K.
Wish you were there? I think not. China drives like what most Europeans and U.S do, on the right side of the road. But in Britain, HK and North Island of Japan, Hokkaido; it's the left hand side.
No problem just the wrong side of the road that's fine... God I was wrong, these people in China drive like complete nutters! I mean I have a far higher chance of survival in the U.S than in China. These people don't just drive through a red, they have absolutely no driving manners whatsoever. Worse than HK.
We British have better driving manners, at least we actually give way, we let other drivers to take the turning and give pedestrians the right of way! The cyclists in China are beyond crazy, riding on the opposite roads as if to play chicken with the drivers. The traffic systems are poor too. It needs a desparate revamp.
It's polluted, dirty, dusty, overcroweded, with more beggars than you can swing your Wii-mote over to your TV screens. The people there are so rude, from security guards to waitresses, they have the bedside manners of monkeys flinging excrement at you. The people smoke like a chimney and spit all over, it's disgusting. In HK, no one, and I say no one, spits on the street. Lest you want HK$1000+ fine.
And the toilets, oh god, the toilets... The thing about Western Civilisation, is that we have proper porcelain thrones. You don't in China. Uh... how can I describe it best. Imagine a porcelain hole in the ground but with functional flushing system and no tissues at all. Now I can see why more people want to travel to the West.
I have probably inhaled just about every 1920s disease there and now I have a headache. I going to sleep it off and then a cold beer or ten.
So, if you want to go on holiday:
1. Bring surgical masks, disinfectant wipes and lots of tissues.
2. Don't go to China!