ElBuro / Member

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ElBuro Blog

Space Marines in gaming!

So different lads there were in teh history of gaming and I wanted to simply put out what's on my head, but thought, meeehhh... I'll just do it either with means of dance and groove or a proffesionall late Baroque painting. Thus, for obvious reasons I've chosen the latter.

Space Marines

PC gaming is dying?!

Mah respondz for teh post somewhere! lulz :D

@Mega_Loser dude, you're talkin lotsa crap, you know :P There is lots of games coming on PCs and will be, as the Xbox is a dying console with it's capabilities comming to an end soon. It cant keep up with graphics of PS3 not to mention PC... I have nothing to worry about as it happened before and will happen again. Once we've already seen how Consoles rushed onwards when first PSX came out, along with Gamecube, Dreamcast, back then consoles were way ahead of PCs, more games were released on consoles, but still, those consoles ran old, to the end of their lifespans and gaming came back to PCs again, now the same stuff is going on. Still I guess it depends on what you are interested in most. I personaly am not into action-beatups and platformers, nor do I enjoy racing or sport games... I'm into RPGs, MMOs, Strategies, Simulations, FPS games, and so far I havent seen much of those on consoles... Oh yeah, now you probably gonna say about FPS games on consoles :P but I'm serious here, if you played Unreal 3 on PC you'd never consider Halo to be an FPS, a joke maybe XD if you played Battlefield series and other on PC you know what large scale battles means and good pro control of mouse and keyboard. I played Halo and CoD for a while on consoles, but it was a silly robo dancing XD I have no idea how people can play that it's like steering a car with horse laces... you can, but what for? lol
RPGs? Same thing... those on consoles are Adventure games with stat developement systems and equipment anagement. Nothing 'RPG' about them, so again, ther's nothing I really like on consoles :P

It is obvious why Lionhead and Microsoft does not release fable during christmass! Microsoft hopes people buy 360s as christmas presents first, to play fable or something as it's the right purchace season. It's lousy old strategy! Come on I can't belive people would fall for that!

Le Battalie Le Puss (I don't really know french, lol!)

OKAY! Mai big REPORT on world of GAMING HAWT girls! I know there is like tens of thousands of you guys, who have your own perfect gaming Waifu, BUT! I beg you to reconsidere what is really good and what is hot, because there is a NEW game on the market, that is Really underrated, because of all minor mechanics glitches, though it presents one of best stories I've seen in RPG so far! YES! And it is Alpha Protocol! WHIC story-wise is as good as Mass Effect, aspeciauly when it comes to story telling and building tension between characters.., BUT! to all you TALI, Aria, Tifa, Samara, Ashley, and other-lovers, I got some bad news for you, as there is a new, hot angry cougar in the hood that I'm so eager to present!

Till the end of the game, she became my FAVORITE female character in games that I've seen so far! And I'm not changing my opinion!

But first let me compare her to other army-girls from games! As Alpha Protocol is very alike Mass Effect, the closest resemblence to SIE would be Miranda Lawson. But she fails in all the aspects SIE wins.

  • They are both army girls
  • They are both boss figures
  • They are both skilled
  • They are both sexy

BUT! Miranda just looks like army girl, looks like boss figure, looks like she's skilled, still as for an army girl she is too thin and flat - simply looks like one of those blondes that went through casting for next NCIS episode and pretends to be a soldier or special agent, but when you look at her you know well she wouldn't be able to pick up a cup of coffe without tiring her skinny weak armes. No one's gonna buy the crap about pro army girl.

While SIE! SIE is compleetly different story:

This woman is German former Stazi member, a ruthless mercenary with a bondage fetish.

A tall, strong army-amazon who handles an M60 machinegun with her bare hands! Unlike Myranta with her "pew pew"-pistol and silly Jedi biotic skills.

Sie has an awesome german accent and helps our agent during Winter of his Discontent. She is a Veteran of most harsh wars during last century, and she IS a commander of true mercenary division, composed of the best pro's one may buy on merc market to do the dirty job. She IS a cougar! Check out her dossier in internet, but most of all check out this vid, of SIE, taking advantage of our lucky hero!

Damn! Check out those thighs! ^^


She beat's your WAIFU! HA!

Reviewer carieer! LOLZ!

Hi' tis me your favorite Retarded Dog! LOL! I wanted to announce, that from now on, I shall make reviews of games I find bad and frustrating, and those which I find marvelous and good!

Also, I'd start a new Youtube Profile where sum of dem reviews will be posted and filmed! I hope ye love the idea as much as I do!

My main goal is to offend absolutely every J-RPG fan and show him how inferior he is towards supreeeeme mighty fine Western RPG player! And also how come consoles are toys for kids who's parents were too poor to buy 'em a decent gaming PC! LOL :P

The truth was spoken, now it is time to present you my fav suprahero of all tiem:

Joxer The Mighty!


How comeh Joker is loosing?!

I can'tunderstand this! Why! Why is Jokeh loosing?! Liek Kerrigans is just a chick and she kills people!


While Joker he... he kept his OWN daughter in basement and abused her! Now that's evil and corrupted!

Fish and Chips

Zeh gratest contest evah! Dis how I filz!

Hurr, I'm a durr?

I is so greitful Jokerz made it so far! He best vilanz evers! And I is very glad GAMESPOTS turned this contest from Game villains to movie villains! It's good to see that Gamespotz undershtandz how movies are superiors to stupid gamez! LOLZ!

Vaders from Movies, Jokerz frem movies and comic books! LOLZ!

Dis sure iz Greitest GAME Villain!

Gamespot you just went fully ME! Hurrr!

My home!

HI! This tiem I want to tell you about my home and family!


So let me beguine with descryption from one to nine, I shall describe anything in details!

1 - is mom, she is nice and got red hair, she makes delicious foodz and my favorit lunch, which is fish and potatoes with sauce of carrots and tomatoes! Mom is very wise and turns computer on when I ask her!

2 - dad. As you can see he's very strong, he is aggresive and likes to curse neighbours for looking strangely on our garbage. Dad sometimes drink beer and yells that he hates those republican jews.

3 - is ME! I sleep in basement, sorry I has not drawn my computer, but I forgot! It's in the left corner... wait! no I mean right! here you can see me chillin, what is nice, cause concrete makes it cooler in summer!

4 - garage, here is a car parents drive to shop and buy vegetables!

5 - doors to house! Here we go in!

6 - roofs! This way water can't get in!

7 - birds and flying things, like piss-spears from planes :D

My favorit pokimanz!


Hi guise! This what you see is my favorit pokimanz! Hiz name is Fazoold! And he can jump in time asasinating Hitlers and other evil people! He can also fly on his little anti-grav panels, those yellow things that stick out his heads! Before Fazoold however can attack he has to spell magic word of "Badoold!" but... backwards! what makes it quite hard to pronounce; "Dloodab!"

But when he does, he shoots the beam of seed and mustard while scratching enemies face with sharp claws. He also has warm fur, so you can smack him in back of his head with a club, skinn and make warm gloves or a hat, or very cozy scrotom pouch for winter voyages!

WoW! My first image here!

I just discovered gamespots allows me to post picturs on blogaz, so i go try now!

I post you my favorite picture in world, you gona be very hapi when you see, this gud.

awesome picture

So this is a war picture, from latest Medal of Honor game artwork set, where you ride hoers and shoot muslims, to save egyptian princess (the lady in yellow!) There is also some driving liek in GTA, whene you can also shoot civilians! There is many funthings to do, like throwing food pockets and gifts so that enemies go like: "ZOMG! Whats that?! Must have lol!" and they run to it, and you can shoot them!


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