It's called the "Charity Oscar". It has nothing to do with giving donations to the underprivileged or any of that nonsense that Hollywood pretends to care about. No no, the Charity Oscar is given to an actor or actress who has no chance of winning a genuine Oscar but has had a huge impact upon mainstream media.
We all love William Shatner. The Star Trek TV series is legendary amongst geek-kind, and is the foremost science fiction television program in the world. Yet the lead actor will never win an Oscar.
What about Harrison Ford? With his roguish grin, Ford has entered our hearts and minds as the charismatic Han Solo and as Indiana Jones. Tommy Lee didn't care that he didn't do it.Where is his Oscar, however?
The Charity Oscar will give these actors their chance to shine. However, there is one caveat to this award - they're not allowed to deliver a speech. Instead, every winner of the Oscar has to say simply: "I don't need your goddamned charity." and walk off the stage. They can play it serious, they can say it while laughing, it doesn't matter; they have to say it, however, and leave without another word.
Let me know what you think and we can start an Internet petition. And don't just tell me it's a good idea if you think it's not. After all, I don't need your goddamned charity.