Egonga / Member

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Egonga Blog

I shall have my cake...

...and eat it. This cake, to be specific:

On Tuesday, Egonga celebrated his 25th year upon this earth. I went to see Inception (excellent movie) and went to Yo! Sushi for my tea (dinner... whatever). I love Yo! Sushi... it's expensive, but delicious, and I just love the way the food rolls on past on it's conveyor belt. I had Chicken Katsu, some fish maki, raw salmon, a duck and plum sushi roll and some custard and strawberry pancakes ^_^

Has anybody seen the Dragon Quest IX DS adverts, by the way? I can't find a clip on Youtube, sadly. You know the way that you can customise your character now? Well, the advert focuses exclusively on that. It features a teenage girl dressing up her Barbie-like character in bunny ears, while another teenage girl giggles at it. Yep - Nintendo have taken a legendary RPG series, renouned for it's level grinding, dungeon crawling and tough difficulty, and promoted it as a Fashion Designer. Nintendo, I'm so appalled that I actually have a grudging respect for you now. You're pretty damned ballsy.

Loeanubis got in touch with me recently about a re-re-re-revival of the GWE. Sadly they never usually work out, but Id be willing to give some time to it. Of course, none of you probably know what the GWE is. Solidruss will, and for some reason I'm thinking Elraptor does, although I'm not sure why.

And finally: I'm going to be taking a break from Gamespot for a wee while. I'm sort of losing interest, and running out of things to say. Absence makes the heart grow fonder (except the absence of an aeorta artery during bypass surgery - the heart REALLY hates losing that) so I shall return someday fresher, sleeker, sexier, and with a rainbow afro wig of some description.

Remember, this is not goodbye. This is "Sod off, I'm busy".


There comes a time in every man's life...

...when he must stand up and declare unto the world "I AM A MAN!"

And woman will look up, and ask "What was that, dear?"

And man will harken "I AM A MAN!"

"That's nice, dear." Woman will reply "But do sit down. You're causing a scene."

And man will sit down, glaring at the tablecloth before muttering "I AM a man..."

Raising an eyebrow, woman will say "That's nice, dear."

But today is not that day. Although I am a man - a manly man, the manliest of men - I will not declare it upon this day.

I'm wanted for murder!

So, oh my Gosh! I was in town this weekend looking for a pair of shorts that would make the Gods themselves envious of my well-muscled calves, when I chanced upon the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. She was standing in a shop window, wearing modern, trendy clothing, and somehow not moving a single inch. The way she stood so still... such poise... such finess... I had to speak with her!

So I entered the shop, and climbed into the shop window with her. Intending to use my witty, gentlemanly charm, I put an arm around her shoulder...

...and her head fell off! :o

I don't know how it happened. It just popped right off - no blood or anything, and the body didn't even fall over. One of the sales assistants asked me what I thought I was doing, so I panicked and fled, screaming like a little girl.

Now, the reasonable, logical thing to do would be to fake my OWN death, thereby bypassing any reprecussions from the law. However, I've faked my own death twice this month already -stupid library late returnfees- so nowmy only course of action is to fake EVERYBODY'S death! Swamped under by an extraordinary number of murder reports caused by my fake-death genius, the police will probably assume that every murder reported has been a fake one, and so will overlook the decapitated corpse I left inside New Look's shop window.

Know this, my reader - I am alive and well!


Modnation: Blatently advertising my Sonic R Resort Island track...

...because it's freakin' awesome.

I've also created Amy Rose and her Sonic R buggy. Download the set and I guarantee eternal happiness!

Loving Modnation so far. Whenever a game has an Edit Mode, such as Smackdown's CaW, I tend to spend 80% of my game time making stuff up, 10% testing them, and the other 10% towards playing the actual game (although usually only to unlock new items for the edit mode, admittedly).

The only hassle with the game so far is the servers. I haven't been able to get online all weekend :(


Disclaimer: Downloading my stuff will not grant eternal happiness.

Ps. My username is Iganga. Some jerk already registered Egonga.

Let's do it bloggy style!

Unfortunately I'm unable to live up to the raunchy expectations the blog title suggests. So here, instead, is a hot and steamy love poem I wrote for the buxom beauty across the street:

I'm sorry your cat's dead.
You must be in pain.
Promise that you'll be mine
OrI will do it again!

Phroaar, eh? Phroaar! *makes an arm pumping movement*

If you look at a mirror and say 'Egonga' 28 times...

...nothing happens!

Ugh. My PS3 has just broken down for a THIRD TIME! And yes, you heard me - third. We've sent a text to the repair company to arrange another call-out, but I'm steeling myself for a losing battle. Even if they do fix it, it'll only break again in a week or two. I'll just have to back up my saved files to amemory stick - can you do that with PS3 game data? - and resign myself to buying a new, stupid, ugly, non-backwards compatable PS3.

I'm sticking to my guns, this time - I am NEVER going to buy a console on release ever again. The non-backlit GBA, the hand-crampalicious PSP,the faulty PS3 and, of course, the red ring of death - I have been burned enough, thank you kindly.

In more positive news, Yotsuba 8 has been released! Huzzah and happycakes to all ^_^

Also, I am contemplating asking my manager if I can switch my full-time employment to part-time, in order to give myself more time for writing. It's pretty hard to give 7 hours at work, come home and do a completely optional further 2 hours on my novel. Especially when Pokemon is so... portable! I can chillax anywhere and play it. Hmm, Gengar...

I gone won a free game!

Do you remember that rant I had a while ago, about videogame stores and Shiggy Miyamoto writhing naked on a bed of money? Well, I e-mailed it to Gamesmaster and it was picked as the Star Letter! Apparantly I've won a free game out of it ^_^

I forgot to give my address and such, so I've just sent them an e-mail with the details and requested Monster Hunter Tri as my game.

I also submitted that one about Shenmue 3 and Sega begging in the rain, but I'm not as confident about that one.

Sexy cherries and stolen cake

You've probably been wondering where I've been gone these past 18 days, eh? Eh?

You mean you haven't?Egonga could have been lying in a ditch, beneath his solid-gold Ford Fiesta, and you wouldn't have cared! Also, I would have had a supermodel in the passenger seat and a talking dog called Mitzy in the back. *sigh* A man can dream...

Anyway, two mysteries have baffled me these past 18 days, and I have been using scientific-icness to ponder them!

First of all, why are cherry stalks considered sexy? On the TV, if a woman puts a cherry stalk in her mouth and then pops it out tied in a knot, all the men go weak kneed and begin making "Phwoaar!" sounds. I just don't get what's 'hot' about that. And don't say it's because they'll be good at... umm... *makes an obscene gesture* ...because if that's what it's about, then it just sounds painful.

Secondly! And lastly; do not forget lastly! "You can't have your cake and eat it." I have been pondering this for some time, and the only conclusion I can draw is that there is a worldwide 'cake' smuggling operation going on. Picture the scene; you're at a lovely resteraunt, having driven there in a solid gold Ford Fiesta with Hiilga - that's right, two i's like a Wii - your Swedish supermodel lover, and you decide to order a cake. But when it arrives, guess what: it's not your cake, because you CANNOT have YOUR cake and eat it. It's actually a stolen cake, taken from the mountainous regions of Czechoslovakia! Those proud and noble people are the victims of the Cake Mafioso, and by ordering two spoons with your dessert you're stealing their livelyhoods!

You make me sick.

Anyway, that was some pretty heavy stuff - cherries and cake mafia. So here's a bright, upbeat song called "The Junkei's Prayer" by The Statler Brothers:

Enjoy! ^_^

I am not Egonga!

Oh wait, yes I am! Belated April fools ^_^

See Solidruss? April fools jokes don't have to inflict severe mental anguish upon hundreds of forum-goers to be fun :P

Just a short blog to wrap up two loose ends that I forgot was hanging from my blog like the body of a dead cat:

1) My Playstation 3 is now fixed. I managed to find a company online called GHDX Repairs that offered to fix it for £75. They came to my house, took the Playstation apart in a matter of seconds and began cleaning all the components. Then they re-did the soldering with a hot air gun, and re-assembled it all. I was at work at the time - my dad oversaw it all - but apparantly it was quite impressive.

2) I finally decided upon and ordered a Final Fantasy canvas frame! My final choice was:

It's solidly built, and the picture is very sharp. I'll be sure to take a picture of how it looks in my room - along with some of my assorted random junk- in the next few days for you all.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch Mystery Science Theater 3000 for a while. I just got Santa vs Satan! ^_^


Sega the hungry homeless hobo...

Following a series of rumours that Sega are offering Shenmue 3 exclusivety in exchange for complete and utter funding...

...The fall of rain is a constant hiss upon the grey and broken pavement. Huddled beneath a pile of boxes, dressed in an all-blue tracksuit, lies Sega, once giant of the gaming world. His face is ragged and torn, twisted in a grimace of pain as the cold, cold rain beats down upon him. A man in an immaculate white suit, standing beneath a white umbrella, walks on past, not noticing Sega untilhe reaches out and grabs his sleeve.
"Hey! Nintendo! Old buddy old pal, how have you been?"
The immaculate man places his hand atop his nose, desperately trying to keep out the stench. "Good god Sega, is that you?"
"It is, it is. Hey, hey buddy, you remember how we gave you Sonic, right? You remember dontcha?"
With great reluctance Nintendo nods.
"Can you help a guy out? Just a bit of cashto make Shenmue 3?"
"I don't know..."
"Come on. We'll give you exclusivety!"
"How do I know you won't just spend it on a Megadrive compilation?"
"Hey, guy! Buddy! I'm a responsible man, you know. I have a fanbase to support!"
Disgusted and untrusting, Nintendo shakes his arm free and raises his collar in disdain.
"I'm sorry Sega. I just can't support your retro addiction. I'm sorry."
Nintendo walks away hurriedly, leaving a despondant andcold Sega to join it's salty tears with the falling rain.