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Egonga Blog

I may qualify for a home loan

Isn't that great? I got the news in the post today that I may be eligible to take a loan against the equity of my house based on my credit finance reports!

I can spend it all on waffles! :D

Determined to win

Two years ago, Dan_Lero started an in-blog game called "Guess That Game Hero". He would post pictures of heroes, but obscure them using his fancy art skills to make them difficult to decipher. Last year, after missing the first round, I finished a respectable eighth:

But this time around I'm in from the start, so I'm aiming to win ^_^

Head on over to Dan's blog if you're interested. It's free and fun, although there is no prize other than street cred:


An analytical breakdown of the effect of the Wii-U upon the videogame industry

Personally, I believe the economical ramifications of the Wii-U will be deep and far-reaching. Based upon sales reports of the current Wii globally, it's clear that the growth inherit in a radical new control method could manifest itself in unexpected ways. Allow me to explain:

Okay, and DONE! Phew!

Wouldn't it be wierd if I actually wrote something like that? Naw, I only did that first paragraph because when you look at "Tracked Blogs" it usually brings up the first few sentences as a preview. The real reason I brought you here is to show off my new abs:

A picture of my awesome abs

You'll have to forgive the poor quality; my camera has a very low megapixel. Also, I've blacked out my face because... well... look at me! With my intense hotness, this is surely going to become a viral thing on the Internet, and I don't want people photoshopping me into xxx positions.

I would apologise for the misleading title but with a killer body like mine, do you really care?

Hell no.


Final Fantasy 7: Piano Collections

I completely forgotten I'd ordered it, but it arrived in the post this afternoon! It was a bit pricey, but totally worth it.

I don't think it's as good as the two Distant Worlds CDs, but it does pay tribute to some of the lesser known songs (Tifa's song, above, and Yuffie's theme, which is underrated). Suprisingly, even the Gold Saucer theme sounds c1assy.

This doesn't count as a videogame blog, by the way. Don't even suggest that-_-


An update of the videogame variety


  • That whole Pokemon thing, eh? I totally crashed and burned on that one. I think I got my starter to about Lvl 25 and I just lost complete interest in it. Maybe it was all this kiddy friendly "trust in your friends!" rubbish, or maybe it's just the same game as the last five I bought only with a fresh coat of paint, but I think I'm done with Pokemon now. I never did find out if Purrloin was any good.
  • Lah Nwah - or LA Noire, to you 'normals'. Bought it, played it, finished it in a week, not sure where the replay value comes from. Don't get me wrong, it's an awesome game - a combination of Phoenix Wright, Farenheit and GTA can never be a bad thing - I just wanted it to carry on going. Hopefully when PSN gets itself sorted out I can download the "Naked City" DLC and see where that takes me, but other than destroying lamp posts in free roam there's not a whole lot I can do with it for the time being.
  • I've been playing FIFA 11 online again. It's an unusual combination of "laugh out loud" fun and "paint the air blue with obscenities" frustration.
  • Speaking of football, also been playing a bit of Football Manager 2011 (yes, I've only just got it after nearly a year on the shelves!) It's okay. I'm trying not to get into it too much, though - my FM 2010 addiction halted my novel in its tracks.

Yes, so... not much new, really. How about you guys? Playing anything special recently?

The true reason for my recent absence:

I'm afraid that I've been the victim of an elaborate ruse. I had been told that by connecting my XBox Kinnect to my PC I could communicate over the Internet via the artistic medium of mime. Unfortunately this turned out not to be true, and I was trapped in an invisible box for over four days until I was discovered by neighbours complaining about the strong winds that forced them to walk on the spot eminating from my home.

I am free, now, and have rediscovered the simple pleasures of the keyboard. Have you ever noticed how the Caps Lock key makes the lights above the numberpad twinkle like stars? Beautiful. Truly stunning.


See? Poem and Pokemon combined to make a nonsensical title that you probably pronounced as "poh-mon" in your head. It's pronounced "poh-em-on", if you cared.

Two things. First of all, after swearing to myself that I'd never buy Pokemon Black, I bought Pokemon White. So technically I'm still good. I've made a proper promise to myself, however, that I'm not going to look anything up online. I ruined HeartGold for myself by constantly nipping online to see if the Pokemon I caught was considered by the community to be any good. I was more focused on finding the community's 'must have' Pokemon than actually enjoying the game. So, with White, I'm approaching it unencumbered by knowledge. Purrloin might be brilliant, it might be rubbish, but at least I'll decide that this time ^_^

And secondly. For my writing class we were forced to write a poem. I do not enjoy poetry. This is what I have written:

At midnight, with the moon above,
Two men crept in from the West.
A Lord who wished to free his love
And a Knight to aid his quest.

The courtyard held the shadows well
Within the castle of Ford.
And in the darkness guardsmen fell
To the silence of the sword.

Both fleet of foot the two men ran
Up the stairs and down the halls.
And soon rewarded for their plan
They came to her prison walls.

The Lord felt overjoyed at life,
Reunited with his bride!
He did not see the Knight's blunt knife
As he stabbed him in the side.

"She's mine, you fool!" The Knight, he hissed.
"I'm a better man than you.
Now that you're gone, you shan't be missed.
We shall be happy, we two."

The Lord collapsed with rasping breath.
The Knight strode across the floor.
And as he yielded to his death
The Lord heard them through the door.

The Knight was bold; the Knight, he lied.
By sword, in combat, the Lord had died.
Tears of sorrow the Lady wept.
The Knight gave comfort in warm embrace
And wiped the tears from upon her face.
Whilethe Lord eternally slept.

Vincent's Van Gogh Through Wall

"It were weird." Ruth Smith, aged 82, told reporters outside the remains of her home this morning. "I were upstairs on t'Internet, and I'd just done some shopping online. I were checking out Janet's Malaga holiday pictures when suddenly there were a horrible racket downstairs. I went down to see what fuss were about, and there were only a bleedin' truck parked in my living room!"

"I couldn't see the driver's face - he were silhouetted against the truck's headlights. But he just threw a bag of groceries on the floor and left - didn't say a thing. He didn't even take his truck with him!"

This follows a number of alarmingly similar incidents reported up and down the country this week. In each case, a delivery truck for online grocery retailers 'Vincent Foods Ltd' have crashed through the walls of those who have placed orders online. And each time, the driver leaves behind the very items the customer has ordered. Sources at 'Vincent Foods' have revealed that management are baffled as to why this is happening. Random sobriety checks have been taken out upon the drivers, while full mechanical examinations have been issued on all company trucks, yet there seems no rational explanation for the phenomenon.

"It's that - what do you call it - avant-garde art, innit?" Explained truck driver Les, who has worked at 'Vincent Foods' for over thirty years. "Basically, right? When people order online, yeah, they're sort of building walls around themselves. Like they're trying to keep society out by shopping at home. What we do, right, is use our vans to bring those walls down - both metaphorically and literally. We're sort of saying 'If you don't go out and shop with your fellow man, then those walls will destroy you.' or something."

He then added "To be honest mate, our union rep, Steve, he's got a GCE in Art. He'd probably explain it better."

Inspired by 'Vincent Foods' controversial yet contemporary art, other so-called 'white collar' professions have been expressing themselves artistically. The 'Sky High Construction Company', one of the leading construction firms in the North-East, have recently built a twenty-storey office block entirely out of scaffolding materials to 'reflect the futility of man's efforts to build a lasting legacy, or whatever'. A major London plumbing company, who wished to remain unnamed, have also hung porcelain toilets from every lamppost in the Greater London area, although they've refused to explain the reasoning for this as their artwork is open to interpretation.

At present, government officials are advising that before undertaking home improvements or buying items online you should first contact the company in question and ask for their opinions on Neo-Expressionist artwork - if they reply with anything other than baffled confusion, hang up immediately.