Before reading this, I'd like to state that this blog is more for my own benefit than anyone else's, i.e., don't ask yourself why I would write this to let a bunch of strangers know about a personal issue. If you'd like to leave comments, that's fine, but in the end, this blog is for myself.
So, April 16th was a Friday. I was looking forward to the weekend as it had been a really long week at work. I was running a few minutes late for an 8am appointment. My phone rings, I figure it was my work calling me. It was my brother. He works on cars and I had been trying to find my wife new tires for her car. My brother said I needed to come home, that the paramedics were trying to revive my mom and that it didn't look good. I went into work and said to clear my schedule for the day. My wife, who I work with, went to pick up our daughter from school. I went home to pack some clothes. I called my brother and asked what he meant by "it didn't look good". He said the paramedics had done everything they could, but were unable to revive her. Honestly I don't remember much after that, except for periodically asking my wife to pull the car over so I could throw up. Her death was unexpected to say the least. She was in perfect health other than getting migraines. She walked several miles perweek and watched what she ate as long as I can remember.
The coroner said that my mom wasn't in pain and passed peacefully. His best guess was either a blood clot or an aneurysm. I then tried to piece my mom's last moments of life together. I had spent the previous weekend with her and my family, had spoken to her Wednesday night, and she had spent Thursday afternoon with my sister in law. Looking at her email account, the last email she sent was at 5:55am...my father returned from work around 7:45am and thought she had fallen asleep at the kitchen counter (they have a breakfast bar) as she often did. He tried to wake her to get ready for work, at which time he found herunresponsive.
We met with the funeral director and I agreed to put together some slideshows, music, and write my mother's obituary. It was the hardest thing I've ever done.
Now, what makes me question life and how unfair it can be is this: My mother worked her ass off her entire life so that she and my dad could enjoy their retirement. After working at her current job for 20 years, she had turned in her retirement papers and her last day was April 30th, 2010 (and I should mention that the emails she was sending at 5:55am were to notify several people she was retiring and how they could contact her). Two weeks after her death. Even more aggravating is that she was in college and had expected to graduate this summer, in fact she had just passed anatomy and physiology. How unfair is that.
My mom was 58 years old at the time of her death and her and my father had expected to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in June. I'm only 32, which IMO, is way to young to bury your mother. My heart goes out to kids and adolescents who have had to bury a parent. Even though I'm an adult with my own family, my mom and I were really close. I feel bad for my father who had been with my mom since he was 15 years old. Now he has no one and all of his plans for retirement are gone.
My mom was a caring person who I greatly admired and she is greatly missed. Life will go on, but it will never be the same.