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DiscoCannibal Blog

4 Years on Gamespot

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So a few days ago, September 1st 2013, marked my 4 year anniversary on Gamespot. Now for those of you who don't know, I have actually been on Gamespot since 2009. My other account, DarkDiminionX, is my original account. I stopped using it because I never really used it anymore. I wanted to start anew, I wanted to make smarter blogs possibly create a union(now that is pointless). But I think I might just go back to my old account because of the changes Gamespot is making. Anyway,enough about my future on GS. 

 

Gamespot has been a great website go to on. Even with all of its problems, I was able to meet such awesome people and have great conversations with them. I appreciate this website for what its done for me, so thank you for being my friend. And I will see you all hopefully on the forums that GS will replace with the unions. Untill then, see ya. 

 

-Xavier(DiscoCannibal)

GS Changes

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Well, Gamespot wants to make changes. And these changes are depressingly disappointing. The whole sites creativity made it more then just a run on the mill gaming news site, you could do much more. You join unions, make blogs, create forum posts, get emblems for having a certain achievement, and review the games that are released. No other game site didn't really do this(except for GameFAQS, which is the sister site to Gamespot) but now Gamespot wants get rid of the following. 

Unions and User Created Boards

Downloads 

Certain advanced forum settings 

Resetting users levels and emblems 

Online Indicator for Friends 

Updating Forum Signatures 

Now what almost every user is shocked about is that they are getting rid of unions. Unions were definitely what made GS so much fun. Thanks to the unions, we were able to connect with a bunch of people that became our friends over the internet. And now GS is getting rid of the way we can connect with people. Sure, gettting rid of the unions will help GS with all of the problems it has had over the years but now they are going to lose a lot of users because of this. I don't even think I'm going to use this account anymore because of all these changes, I might just go back to my old account, hell, I might not even come back to this website. But I will figure out this decision eventually. 

Anyway, because of the end of the unions, it will be hard to be able to talk with a lot of you. So here are some sites you can add me on. 

Steam: DiscoCannibal 

Oovoo: EternalOctopus

MyAnimeList: DarkDiminionX 

Google Plus: Xavier Pacheco 

Tumblr: darkoctago.tumblr.com 

3DS Friend Code: 2148-8708-2468  

Also, I have facebook, if you want to add me, just PM me and that will be that. Hopefully, GS won't scrap the unions, but that is a lot to hope for. It probably won't happen, but all we can do is hope. 

-DiscoCannibal 

Superman vs. Batman and The Justice League Movie

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justice_league_movie_poster_by_jo7a-d57n 

(Just know that this poster is fake) 

 DC Comics. You know them, you probably love them. They are known for creating some of the best batch of superheroes ever made. Examples are Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, The Flash, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Martian Manhunter, Green Arrow, etc, etc. DC can make such amazing comics. The way they tell their stories and the art of the superheroes are just spectacular. You can tell they love their characters and they want to make the reader excited for their next adventure. However, when they make films, it's an entirely different ballgame.  

 DC has just never seem to make films that have the same quality or love like their comics. Now there are some exceptions to the rule book of course. Said examples are...

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 These films were entirely different however, not only did the filmmakers actually try, but the people who made this loved the properties so they made a fantastic story with memorable characters. But with this out of the way, we have to talk about the purpose of this blog. The announcement of the Man of Steel sequel at Comic Con. 

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 When I first heard of this announcement, I was completely shocked. SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN! THAT SOUNDS AMAZING! OH MY F*CKING GAWD!!!!! It was like the child inside me heard the greatest thing of all time. This announcement brought this child like innocence back to me. But then, I had to put my filmmaking mind into this, I thought about this announcement for a few days. I then came to this conclusion, it sounds like DC and Warner Bros are scrambling to make the Justice League movie and catch up with Marvel's success.   

  One reason why I came to this. For one thing, there was a Batman movie that just came out last year. They already want to make another film with Batman in it. A lot of us still have to suck in the fact that The Dark Knight Trilogy has ended. And you want to make a Batman film when you already have made THREE of the greatest superhero films of all time. Those films received accolades, critical acclaim, commercial success, etc. You also have one of the greatest performances of a superhero villain in film history(Heath Ledger as the Joker). With all this critical and commercial success, you already want to rush and put Batman in another film. It just doesn't feel right, DC and Warner Bros wouldn't do this unless they were making a Justice League movie, which has been announced.   

 DC and Warner Bros(they produce all of the DC Comics superhero films by the way) want to catch up with Marvel so badly. But when Marvel made The Avengers, they put time and effort into plotting what the movie would be about. They released individual films for each character that would be in The Avengers. They also dropped subtle hints about it, and they made sure they were ready to release The Avengers. Marvel didn't want to make a film about The Avengers at all until they were sure they got the perfect person to make it. And that person was Joss Whedon. Joss Whedon loves comics and loves The Avengers, so they knew they were ready to make it. So what happened with all this careful planning and the all that time put into it, The Avengers was a huge success, became the third highest grossing film of all time, and became known as one of the greatest superhero film of all time, hell, people are calling it the greatest superhero film of all time(but that accolade goes to The Dark Knight). The people at DC and Warner Bros jaws probably dropped when this happened. 

 DC and Warner Bros knew right there they had to catch up. So they went to work and started production on the Justice League movie. Just the announcement of the existence of a Justice League movie has people going crazy, but will it be as successful as The Avengers? My answer to that, HELL NO! 

 Sure, The Justice League will be a success, but it won't make a billion dollars like The Avengers. DC and Warner Bros, like I said, are running around like psychotic dogs making this Justice League film exist. They aren't patiently waiting for a talent to make this movie. Who are they going to get? Zack Snyder? David S. Goyer? For one thing, those guys are talented, but everything they made isn't perfect, not like Joss Whedon. Every project Joss Whedon has made is spectacular. Zack Snyder's magnum opus is the Dawn of The Dead remake(even though it will never be as magnificent as the original), and David S. Goyer's magnum opus is that he created the story for The Dark Knight Trilogy with Christopher Nolan. Everything else these guys made were either good, ok, or downright crap. 

 Zack Snyder directed Man of Steel and David S. Goyer wrote the screenplay for the film, now I didn't get a chance to see Man of Steel, but I heard it wasn't that good. Which really disappointed me because I was extremely hyped for Man of Steel. The trailer got me extremly excited and also kind of emotional, it has been a while since we have seen a good Superman film, and this one looked like the film that would be good. Christopher Nolan produced it and Zack Snyder directed it, he didn't write it, so I was ready. But the reviews got me mad, I was still going to see it nontheless, but never got the chance to. 

  I'm also truly not ready for a new film with Batman in it, so are a lot of other people. I wouldn't suspect Superman vs. Batman to be DC and Warner Bros scrambling to make Justice League if it was just a normal Man of Steel sequel with no Batman. But putting Batman in it will just screams "We are rushing". The Dark Knight trilogy just ended, and those films were spectacular. They truly changed the superhero film genre, especially The Dark Knight. These were more then just superhero films, they were dramas, Crime Dramas to be more specific. Christopher Nolan changed the story of Batman. He made him more then just a superhero, he was a person. You felt like you knew Bruce Wayne for a long time and you wanted him to succeed in every challenge he was given. All the other characters you loved too. There was a lot of depth put into them and you wanted them to succeed as well. He made the Joker even more legendary then he already was. If your raise the bar on a character's already legendary status, your a genius. 

 Christopher Nolan just made three superhero masterpieces, and fantastic trilogies are rare. It's hard to make a good superhero trilogy, and Nolan did it. But already making a new Batman film just doesn't feel right. If they made a Batman film like in 5-10 years from now, I would be okay with a new Batman film, so would a lot of other people. But make one now, I can't agree with that.  

  Superman vs. Batman shouldn't be made this quickly. It just sounds like a poor excuse to make a quick buck and lead to a film that will also make a quick buck. Blockbusters shouldn't be made like this. Blockbuster films, films in general are an art form and escapism. Film is like a form of escapism, you can watch film to escape from the real world and all the troubles and hell it causes people. Superhero films are a perfect example of this, they are escapism for a lot of people. DC and Warner Bros are so far failing in what Marvel amazingly succeeded in. Marvel carfully created an entire universe full of superheroes and supervillains, and it's a fantastic universe. DC on the other hand, is a different story. Should I be this quick to judge, of course not. But this is a matter of opinion after all. Hopefully, everything I have just said will be proven wrong when Superman vs. Batman is released. Maybe this new Batman will be awesome and will be created carefully and loved by everyone. Maybe Superman vs. Batman will be on par with The Dark Knight trilogy and other superhero masterpieces. Maybe DC has finally stepped up their game and has finally relized how to create an entire film universe.  

 

 Maybe. Just maybe. We'll just have to wait and see.

 

Ken Park Review

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WARNING: SPOILER ALERT! If your one of the few people who have seen this or don't care about spoilers, keep on reading. 

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 Ken Park opens with a skater riding to a skatepark, everything seems fine at first, it's just a ginger riding his skateboard. In the end of this first scene, the skater shoots himself in the head. If you don't know what kind of movie your getting into at this point or just don't like movies like this, I strongly recommend staying as far away as possible from this. 

 Ken Park is about kids who have crappy lives. That is the premise. There is no plot in this film. It's more like a series of vignettes. But the movie sets it up to be like that so I don't mind that this movie has no plot. Now that first scene I just mentioned, they use that to set up the premise of this movie. We see the lives of this ginger's(his name is Ken Park) friends. These four friends are Shawn, Claude, Peaches and Tate. 

Shawn is the most sane of the four. He has an ongoing relationship with his girlfriends mother, Rhonda. He talks to the family a lot, the family knows nothing about their sexual relationship.  

Claude is a teen who recieves beatings, both physcially, verbally, and emotionally from his alcoholic father. Claude tries to take care of his pregnant mother who doesn't care about him that much. The dad doesn't like Claude because he isn't "manly" enough. 

Peaches is a teenage girl who has an extremely religious father. The father pretty much fixates on her as the embodiment as her dead mother. She is not that insane like the other characters in this film. 

Tate is a sadistic and unstable teen who physically and verbally abuses his grandparents(whom he lives with). He is a psychotic kid, and that is Tate. 

 These are the four main kids who you will be seeing throughout this entire film. Now the first half of this film does a great job setting up the characters and their traits and all of that jazz. You get to see who they are and why they act the way they do. It's interesting when you first meet all the characters in this movie. You get invested and start liking the film. 

 However, as soon as the first half ends. This film then remembers it's a controverisal art house film, and starts throwing in the weirdest crap ever. During the second half, this film gets sucked up in its own ego. Meaning, it wants to be controversial so bad, they try way to hard to be controversial. Allow me to list all the "controversial" stuff that happens in this film. Keep in mind, some this is actually quite disturbing, but then just remember it's a movie. 

-Shawn has sex with his girlfriend's mother. I don't want to describe what he does to her. 

-Peaches almost has sex with her boyfriend, when her crazy religious dad comes in, the dad beats the piss out of her boyfriend and then Peaches. 

-Claude's dad attempts to perform oral sex on Claude.  

-Tate beats up a dog with three legs named "Legs" 

-Tate performs "autoerotic aspyxiation" while watching a tennis game a.k.a he masturbates with a tie hung around his neck that is tied to a door.  Also, after he finishes masturbating there is a shot of his penis with semen all over it.

-Tate kills his grandparents because his grandfather "cheated" in Scrabble and his grandmother is a "bitch" while naked. After he kills them, he gets an "erection". 

-Peaches dad forcefully tells Peaches stuff from the bible almost about the beat the piss out of her. 

-Peaches's dad marries her after she almost had sex with her boyfriend. 

-Ken Park shoots himself in the head. 

-Shawn, Claude, and Peaches have a threesome. 

-Rhonda gives Shawn a handjob 

 I pretty much told you all the main parts of the film. This film just gets so sucked up into how "controversial" it is that it becomes too much. You start to hate all the characters because they are all vicious a**holes. Then again, your suppossed to hate these people but they set up Shawn as the most sane character in this film. You start to hate him because of how much of a man whore he is. Everyone in this movie is an awful shithead. 

 Then again, isn't that the point of the movie. Yeah, but it doesn't feel that. It feels like this movie was made just so we can see kids have sex. And when you do that, you suck. 

 So then we get to the third half. Peaches dad marries her because he is psychotic religious freak, after Tate murders his grandparents, he gets arrested, Claude moves out after his dad almost rapes him, and Shawn is living the good life because the mother really likes him. In the end, Shawn, Claude and Peaches have a threesome. This threesome has dialogue that sets up the final scene of the film. They talk about a kid that is no longer around and is a friend of theres. This leads to another good part of the film. THE FINAL SCENE. 

 As soon as the dialouge between the three end, we cut to Shawn narrating the reason why Ken Park killed himself. Ken Park impregnated his girlfriend. Ken Park talks with his lady pal, he asks the girl if she wants to keep it. She replys, "I don't know, I don't want to be no baby killer". She then asks, "Aren't you glad your mom didn't abort you". Ken Park looks at the park sad, obviously implying that he wished he was aborted and the screen cuts to the credits and the song "Who Are Parents?" by The Shaggs plays. 

 What I liked about the ending was the fact it was so thought provoking. Sure, we know Ken Park will kill himself after this, but the ending sets it up so well. It feels very sad but kind of powerful at the same time. But you still have to wait for this ending and watch all the bullcrap that unfolds in this film. 

 Ken Park is a perfect example of "Close, but no cigar". It's at first truly mesmerizing, rough around the edges, but the ending is satistfying. This film needed to be like "Gummo" in like how it handled its characters and subject matter. What made Gummo such an amazing film, is that the subject matter was there, but it was subtle and didn't try to bash you over the head with it. The characters were extremely awful, but you felt bad for all of them because of their condition. That is what made Gummo such a great controversial piece. It sent a message about middle America, kind of like what Ken Park does. Ken Park can be considered a companion piece to "Gummo" in away(by the way, Gummo is written and directed by the writer of Ken Park.)

 Ken Park doesn't suck, but it is very disappointing. I wanted more, but instead I got what would of made Gummo a bad movie. Ken Park kind of felt like krap, but interesting krap. 

48/100 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Back To Anime

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 So I haven't watched Anime in FOREVER. The last episode of an anime I watched was episode 65 of Keroro Gunsou. I need to get my Otaku status back in check. I love Anime, it's a fantastic Japanese art form and it's a whole lot of fun to watch. Now, there is a lot of anime out in the world, and while I watched most of it, it will still be nice to watch more. 

 

THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN! 

 Now, I need all of you guys to recommend some anime to me. Now keep in mind, I have watched a whole bunch of anime so I probably have watched what you have recommened to me already. Maybe I will watch it again and have a second opinion. Anyway, I need you to recommened me some really good anime. Some I might have heard of and might have been dying to get into, some I have not. Can't wait to get back into Anime again. 

Thanks 

-DiscoCannibal

Pacific Rim Review

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So I saw Pacific Rim on Saturday. And I thought I should give my thoughts on the kaiju vs. robot film by legendary cult director Guillermo del Toro.  

 A movie with Kaiju in it huh. Well, we haven't see that in a while. For those of you who don't know what a Kaiju movie is, to put it simply, a Kaiju film is a when a giant monster comes to a city and attacks it. Action scenes and cheesy dialogue ensue.   


 The film genre is more popular in Japan then it is in America. Icons like Godzilla, Gamera, Mothra, King Ghidorah, Mechagodzilla, and Rodan helped make the Kaiju monster a household name. While most of the kaiju mentioned are from Godzilla films, they still helped the kaiju films become what they are today. 


 Now the last big kaiju film we had released here in the States was that god awful Godzilla remake by Roland Emmerich. It totally massacred everything we love about Monster Movies. Also, you know your film sucks when you have a lazy parody of Roger Ebert(Rest In Peace brother) in a F**KING GODZILLA MOVIE! 

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  Now ever since Godzilla(1998), we haven't had a good kaiju movie in the States since. But the uber talented visionary director Guillermo del Toro has decided to make Pacific Rim. And it's what you expect. A movie were robots vs. monsters fight, how could this be shit. Well, it isn't shit, it's actually pretty damn good and a lot of fun, but it still has its problems. 


 Pacific Rim is about a war between humans and monstrous sea creatures(the kaiju). The kaiju are destroying cities and are just becoming the worst nightmare to the world. The government has tried to destroy them with planes, destroy them with tanks, nothing has worked. That's when the government decides to build giant robots called the Jaegars to go kick the kaiju's ass. The Jaegars are controlled by two pilots whose minds are bound in a neural link which lets them share the mental strain that would otherwise overwhelm a singe pilot. 

 

 The plot is simple. The film has huge bombastic special effects so the film does kind of needed a simple plot. A complicated story would turn off audiences, and as much as I find simple plots lame, this film's plot is fine despit it being so simple. 


 I had a lot of fun with this. Pacific Rim is a blast from a robot vs. monsters stand point. The fight scenes are well done. If you have ever seen the Transformers movies, one of the many problems with them was that there was so much shit going on in the action sequences that you could barely see what was going on. Things would blow up left and right and you can't fully see what was happening. With Pacific Rim, all the action scenes you can see what is going on perfectly. And when the Jaegars punch the Kaiju, man you can feel that punch. The bones crack and the Kaiju fall HARD. When the Jaegars get hit, you fell that hit. The action scenes are beautiful. They fight in the nighttime a lot, and sometimes it rains, and it just looks so damn cool. The set pieces look so damn nice and colorful. It's such a lush world and you don't want to leave it. Now this is from an action film standpoint, this film is a great action movie and if you love this kind of stuff, then you are going to have a blast with this. I sure did. 


 Now I have to step out of that geeky action film stand point and give you the negative side of the film. This film has great action scenes and it's very lush, but in a world where there are giant monsters and giant robots, you need a main protagonist to connect with, someone that is some kind of badass or a character that at first is just normal but grows to be some kind of hero. A Luke Skywalker or a John McClane of sorts. Now you don't have to have a character like that, but with a huge blockbuster film, you sort of need to follow that formula. This film main protagonist is very one dimensional. In fact, many of the characters here are one dimensional. 


 The main protagonist is Raleigh Becket(played by Charlie Hunnam). Charlie is a good actor, I have seen him in good movies, he is the main protagonist on Sons of Anarchy. But here, he is just really boring. He acts just like Garret Hedlund in Tron: Legacy. He has this really deep late twenty's voice and women would find him attractive. And no one will remember Charlie unless they watch Sons of Anarchy. He is just very boring in this movie. I totally forgot about him after walking out of this and I just remember the better performances. 


 Rinko Kikuchi palys Mako Mori. She is a character who has had a rough past. She does a better job with her role, she has this really adorable face(don't all asians do) and she seems like the type of character to sell a lot of action figures, but she didn't do better then everyone else in the movie. I didn't forget her, but she didn't do anything special. 


 Now there are good performances. Especially Idris Elba as Stacker Pentecost. He plays that badass that gives the orders and respects his colleagues. The thing is, he is sounds like a badass and gives off that aura that if you f*ck with him, he will beat the crap out of you. He has fun with the material given to him and he is someone in the movie you just respect. He has a lot on his plate and you respect him for everything he does in the movie. 


 Also, Charlie Day is in this movie. He plays Dr. Newton Geiszler(Newt for short). Now he is on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, one of the best comedies on the air today. He is great on that show and he is great in Pacific Rim too. I think he is the best character out of everyone. He plays the comic relief and that really fast-talking scientist. But he does it so well. He is pretty damn funny sometimes and just his manurisms are so well done. I really had a lot of fun watching Charlie Day. Everytime he left, I just wanted him to come back on screen. 


 We also have Ron Perlman as Hannibal Chau. He is pretty good to. Nothing special, but he is always good whenever he is in a movie so yeah. 


 Back the one dimensional characters. There are a lot of characters who also fall into stereotypes. There is another scientist who works with Charlie Day's character Dr. Herman Gottlieb(played by Burt Gorman). He plays that stereotypical British scientist. He is old fashioned and always argues with Newt on experiments. He just seemed boring and I just wanted more of Charlie Day then I did this guy. 


 There is also a father son team named Herc and Chuck Hanson. They are those stereotypcal father son team. The father is a well respected guy and the son doesn't really like him. The son has daddy issues and they are always arguing. It's pretty boring. I totally forgot about them until I started writing this review.  


 The characters are pretty boring. Another problem is the story while simple, is very predictable. It hits all those action movie notes and you can see everything coming from a mile away. I already knew what was going to happen 15 minutes in. When a certain character dies, you know that character is coming back alive in the post-credits scene. I wish they made it less predictable.  


 FINAL VERDICT: 

  What Pacific Rim lacks in character development and plot, it makes up with its visuals and acting. Pacific Rim may have a lame protagonist and the plot might be lame at times, but the fight scenes are so beautiful you can put all that aside and just enjoy the movie. For what it is, the movie's fight scenes are outstanding. They are well shot and the scope of it is insane. Go see this in IMAX or IMAX 3D. The 3D is pretty good and if you watch this on an IMAX screen, the scope of it is much better, and you need a large scope for a movie like this. Pacific Rim, with everything it has with visuals and action, is a fun summer movie. It really sucks that that piece of crap Grown Ups 2(I didn't see it, but I don't need to) made more money then this. Despite that, I hope Hollywood can now make more kaiju movies like this.  It could have been better, but despite its flaws, Pacific Rim is a blast.


SCORE: 

75/100


 


 

Questioning Logic Episode l: Home Alone 3

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 Welcome to this new blog series. I call it Questioning Logic. It's pretty much going to be a series of blogs were I observe impossible actions that happen in Film and Television. I'm testing the waters with this series, just to see how you guys respond to it. So if you like it, tell me and I'll keep it going, if you don't like it, then I will try something new. Anyway, that's the summary part. Let's begin.  

 I will be talking about Home Alone 3 in this episode. But I think we should go over the history of, Home Alone. 

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 The first Home Alone film was released on November 16, 1990. For those of you select few people, who for some reason, have never seen this(I recommend you go see this right now, stop reading this and go watch this if you have never seen this before),here is the plot. The film is about an eight year old boy named Kevin Mccallister(played by the then adorable Macauly Culkin), whose family leaves him home alone by mistake while going on a trip to Paris. While having the time of his life by relaxing and just having fun, two would be burgalurs Harry Lyme(played by the legendary italian Joe Pesci) and Marv Merchants(played by Daniel Stern) who try to rob his house. This doesn't stop little Kevin from deciding to take charge and show these robbers they are messing with the wrong house. Slapstick shenanigans ensue.

 

 This film is a family comedy legend. The film cost $18 million to make and had a total gross of $476,684,675 dollars. That's a lot of money for a kids film. Home Alone made a lot of money for many reasons. For one reason, this was released around Christmas and this film was set around Christmas time. Another reason, cute little Macauly Culkin was in this and so was Joe Pesci. Third reason, the legendary John Hughes wrote and produced this film. 

 

 For those of you who don't know who John Hughes is, I'll give you a little explanation, because he is a big part of this blog too. 

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 John Hughes(May he Rest In Peace)is a filmmaker who is mostly well known for his legendary 1980's teenage coming of age films that he made. He seemed to know teenagers extremely well. If you wanted to make a coming of age film, John Hughes was the guy you would turn to. Hughes made legendary films such as National Lampoon's Vacation, Sixteen Candles, Uncle Buck, Pretty in Pink, Weird Science, Some Kind of Wonderful, his funniest film Planes, Trains, And Automobiles, his most quotable film Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and his masterpiece, The Breakfast Club. A guy with a track record like this couldn't stop him from making good films. Right? RIGHT?!

 

Home Alone can also be put on this list, but I wanted to mention his films from the 80's because they are his best, but after Home Alone and said movie making all that money, the rest of the 90's came along, and that's when in 1992, the world saw the release of Home Alone 2. 

 

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 Now Home Alone 2 was not at all a bad movie. It just wasn't that good. Home Alone 2 is a perfect example of a cash grab movie. This movie was made just for money. Home Alone and the remake of A Miracle on 34th Street(he wrote that a couple years after Home Alone) would mark the last good film John Hughes wrote as he would churn out more family comedy crap that was far worse then Home Alone 2. Said examples are Curly Sue, Dutch, Beethoven, Dennis the Menace, the atrocious Baby's Day Out, the live-action remake of 101 Dalmations, Flubber, Just Visiting, Maid in Manhattan WHAT THE F*CK HAPPENED JOHN! It just got worse for the great John Hughes. Now out all the movies on this list, the two movies that are his worst and just throw all human logic out the window are Baby Day's Out and Home Alone 3. We'll talk about Baby's Day Out another time, today we will talk about Home Alone 3. 

 

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 Home Alone 3, another perfect example of a cash grab. You know what, every Home Alone movie after the first one is a cash grab. Just going to throw that out there. In fact, this is a more of a cash grab then the first one. Now why do I say that? Let me tell you the plot.  

 

 The film is about a boy not played by Macauly Culkin named Alex Pruitt(played by some annoying,generic child actor who isn't Macauly Culkin, by the way, this kid's name is Not Macauly Culkin) who is sick because of chicken pox or some shit. The kid has to stay home because of said chicken pox, and if you saw the first two movies, you guessed it, robbers come and try to take something from Not Macauly Culkin. Not Macualy Culkin is clever about it and sets up traps and stops the robbers and yeah this movie is just like the first two. The only difference being, the burgulars aren't just burgulars, THEY ARE F**KING INTERNATIONAL CRIMINALS/TERRORISTS! Now I understand you want to do something different with the burgular characters so you can take more trips to the bank, but you didn't have to make them TERRORISTS! Kids don't know what a terrorist is. Know what would have been a better idea, not making this movie. 

 

 Here is where you start questioning the logic in this movie. I'm pretty sure Terrorists would know how to stop an 8 year old child with chicken pox. 

 

Stupid Critic that likes this movie: "But XAVIER, Alex has a high IQ in this movie, he can stop the terrorists!"  

 

NO NO NO! Bullshit! The kid might have a high IQ, but the criminals are TERRORISTS! I'm pretty sure terrorists can stop a kid even if his/her's said IQ is higher then 100. They're terrorists. They are trained to stop anything. 

 

 But then this point I just made becomes completely invalid as we find out later in the movie that these criminals are **** imbeciles. 

 

 I would like to question the logic of the slapstick in this movie. In a slapstick comedy, you have to make the slapstick at least a little realistic. Don't be lazy and make them fall to their deaths and not break a single bone, this kind of slapstick would take you out of a movie like this and start questioning everything that happens. Luckily, this film makes you question logic throughout. 

 

 One scene in the movie, one of the criminals gets electrocuted while sitting in a chair, the chair has a car battery attached to it or something. The criminal doesn't get brain damage, he just, nothing happens to him. Another scene, a RUNNING LAWNMOWER falls on one of the criminals. Instead of chopping out all of his flesh, nothing happens to him. His hair just gets cut off. :x  

 

 Another scene, a criminal falls THREE STORIES into a basement and lands on a toilet, crushing the toilet and urine spills out on the criminal. Does he die? Of course not. He just gets a little shaken up and gets upset because urine is all over him. We get another scene were a female criminal goes into dumbwaiter chute, and because Not Macauly Culkin removed the bottom, she falls 3 stories ASS FIRST into the basement. She doesn't break any bones at all. A guy hides in a snow fort, a parrot flies in thier and lights up hidden fireworks in the snow fort. The snow fort EXPLODES and the guy is perfectly fine. A rat climbs into a guys pants and into his crotch, the female criminal tries to hit the rat, but the rat walks out of the pants and the female criminal hits the guy in the crotch. And this girl hit the guy HARD, with a crowbar, no severe injuries to the guy's nutsack at all. A criminal gets black spray paint in his eye, no severe damages to his eye. A trunk of books fall onto the criminal's heads and the trunk of books gets crushed in half on target. The criminals don't go into a coma or a concussion. NO! They just lay their for a minute and GET THE F*CK RIGHT BACK UP! I'M DONE WITH THIS MOVIE! 

 

 I know this is a kids film and all, but come on! The slapstick just gets so damn ridiculous you start to feel bad for these terrorists. The logic in this film is ridiculous. It drives you crazy that these people aren't dead. This movie sucks. I don't know what happened John Hughes. What made you want to write this? Was it for money, was it for more fame, was it so you can take this series as far as it possibly could, I don't know man. This movie sucks, it really does. If you haven't seen it, I mean, Do you really want to? 

 

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By the way, Scarlett Johansson is in this movie...... *Sigh* 

-DiscoCannibal

 

 

 

 

 

  

This is DiscoCannibal, Formerly Known as DarkDiminionX

by on
Hey guys. This is DiscoCannibal. You probably know me better as this guy. http://www.gamespot.com/users/DarkDiminionX/ Read my final blog about why I decided to make a new account. It was a little melodramatic, but I don't give a damn. A new journey begins, and I'm excited to return to Gamespot. It's been a long time, but I'm back. And it's going to be a whole lot of fun. -DiscoCannibal