Well, this news is a good day late now, but I needed to come up with something with a little bit more punch then what other people have been posting in their blogs about this idiotic name-change. And after I thought about it, this is just another chapter in some horrible, or dumb ideas for the next-gen systems. There won't be a review or TMT update today, unless I get around to making the review.
Well, seems that Nintendo has now joined the other next-gen consoles in an effort to make all the new consoles all equally stupid in either design, name choices, or in one case, logo design. The Revolution was a perfect name, and was the only system I was seriously thinking of getting. But, like I said, Nintendo joined the effort, not just started it.
What am I talking about? Well, let's start from the top. Remember when Xbox 360 was announced, and rumors were going on just about everywhere on speculative names for the new console? Something around the lines of Xenon, or even Xbox 2? Xbox 360 was pitched by some people, to be sure, after finding evidence about it, and soon after were found out to be right.
Now, why would you come up with a 3 digit number that is primarily referring to something in skateboarding? Were the brilliant heads at Microsoft thinking they could find some way to make their next-gen console look cool by trying to get poser punks to believe it was endorsed by Tony Hawk, or Bam? Was the idea of a much enhanced Xbox Live and incredible graphics not good enough? Look Microsoft, most of the people who bought your 360 at release already had an Xbox, and knew what to expect. The name 360 to me feels like some effortless way to get newcomers to buy it, and it doesn't work.
Come to think of it, what will the next consoles be named? Xbox 540? Then 720? By the time you finally get up to the number 900 that Tony Hawk made famous, most people would more then likely attribute the system to an Atari 7800 then a, by then, very old skateboarder. Oh, and have you guys ever thought of the fact that if the Xbox is going "360" degrees, you're not changing directions at all? Not the best thought when people are going out to buy their next big console.
But hey, at least Playstation has it right! They actually decided to again stay with their Playstation name, as they promised until at least the 9th one from the 2000 PS2 pre-release commercial. But... hey... well, I don't mind the silver look to it, as it's a nice inbetween from white on the PSX and black on PS2... but, well, take a look at the logo.
Yeah, it isn't terrible looking, but at first glance, doesn't it look like this familiar logo design?
... Great. Now, not only do we have a system that sounds like it has marketing designers that are fans of Tony Hawk, but we also have Spiderman fans among us as well.
Actually, they're not just Spiderman fans... someone at hardware design must have thought of something along the lines of "hey, if the Spiderman logo is next-gen... something else from comics must work too!" And thus, we introduce you to the new Silver Bat-erang Controller! It's almost as fun to play with as it is to throw it like a boomerang! Never break a controller again when you have the urge to chuck your controller out the window, as, to your painful dismay, it will always come back! It even makes a sound when it feels as though there's too much wind coming at it! "Jumping gillickers Batman! You gave the controller a toss that proves that a 360 degree spin CAN be cool!"
I can see where that could come in handy, but it really doesn't help me believe that the Playstation 3 is a true revolutionary, next generation console.
And then there's our favorite console, the Revolution. Wait, what? Wii aren't calling it that now? It's called the Wii now? Dammit! No TurbografX 16 or Genesis games can save Nintendo now...
Now, seriously, this has got to be the dumbest name EVER created for a console. That's right. It even beats out the fugly duckly Bandai "Wonderswan" name. Granted, the... *cough* "Wii" has original things going for it like... controlling with a controller that looks like a TV remote! Wait, CDI did that... It's backwards compatible! Oh wait, that's been done too! Oh yes! It uses a REAL medium for new games! Like, DVD! Wait, what's Blu-ray?
To try to explain their idiotic decision to change their name, they came up with a touching speech that tries to play with the word Wii and We as many times as humanly possible before someone finally cries foul.
"While the code-name 'Revolution' expressed our direction, Wii represents the answer. Wii will break down that wall that separates game players from everybody else. Wii will put people more in touch with their games...and each other."
Since when did Revolution turn out to be a question? The name fit perfectly for the console name, not for some hunky dorey "direction" to something that questions as many people as Sega did when they announced the name "Dreamcast" over "Naomi" a good 8 years ago? And of course, to anger us further, they decided to put more word play in their press release.
"So that's Wii. But now Nintendo needs you. Because, it's really not about you or me. It's about Wii. And together, Wii will change everything."
I seriously hope some Nintendo employee in Japan is thinking the same thing "Wii" are about them. "What the hell are "wii" doing?" Yes indeed. But, hey, as long as we see a next-gen Duck Hunt on your... "Wii," all will be forgiven.
~ Dalton Zeal