What's up everybody? Man, I'm so sick of this rain......and that's coming from a rain lover. At least my B-day is Monday. Anyway, last Friday, I went to my first house show ever, with TNA. Seeing as I feel like it (and to test how how the blogs do under this awful new posting format), I decided to do a little show and tell. Unfortunately, the pictures with have to come in a later blog, because my camera doesn't want to agree with my computer (I think they want to have a fight at Wrestlemania. :P )
Getting inside: Insane Deals!
The event started at 7:00, but knowing that it would be crowded as hell, we left an hour early and got there at around 6:00. That should be enough time, right Edge?
Thought so. It was packed. But we made it inside the building before the line had to be moved outside. *Phew* Anyway, to combat the restlessness of the crowd, good ol' Don West gave us a "Let's make a deal"-like peep talk by telling everyone who would be there and what events would take place. Everyone was stir crazy and we grabbed some autograph books before the ravage fans took them all. Don signed everyone's book and we finally got inside the main arena. BTW, one of Don's deal's during the waiting period was that if you bought any TNA shirt, you got a nice TNA gym bag with four random TNA DVD's in it. Sold! I now have a new gym bag for collage, four DVD's and a Hulk Hogan shirt for my cousin's birthday.
Sitting down: Jeff Jarrett and the "over-selling-kayfabe security guard".
So, who here knows that Kayfabe still exists? Officer Blart does. Wow, I don't know what they were paying this big boy, but he should have his on show. This guard had to be the most ridiculous actor I've ever seen. Let me start at the top. While we were getting seated, Jeffy was signing autographs and so I got in line. I got his autograph, but that wasn't the best part. The best part was that Jeff and this security guard were having this never ending promo that went back and forth. Let me give you an example of some of the things said:
Guard: Jeff Jarrett will only be signing autograph books and TNA merchandise! ONLY!!!!
Jeff: Shut up. I'll sign whatever the fans want. What is your problem?
Guard: Bishoff told me to keep you and the rest of these fans in line! I will not have any problems here tonight, or I'll shut this booth down! *People in line: Boo!*
Jeff: Eric's not here, so grab a donut, fatty! *People in line: Yeah! TNA! TNA!*
Oy. And I thought my jokes were bad. But I got the autograph, my drink and sat down at the floor seating. I was four seats from the guard rail and three seats from the front row. Hell yeah!
Match #1: Amazing Red vs. Kaz vs. Doug Williams
Woot! What a way to begin than with the X-division. Naturally, this was for the title, so you already knew who was going to win. Great back and forth action from all men, and Red was insane! The ending came when Kaz was hurricarana-ed out of the ring and Doug Williams hit his Chaos Theory Rolling German Suplex move for the pin on Red. Williams gave off good heat and Kaz helped Red up. Both shook hands in respect and left.
Match #2: Rhino vs. Dr. Stevie
Ha, you know this wasn't going to last long. Rhino is now a face apparently, and took out Stevie in a matter of minutes. But even for a squash, this lasted longer than a TV match and was done so much better. Rhino got the pin after a GORE!!! Jeremy Borash and Earl Hebner (who came out to Tommy Dreamer's theme for some reason) came out and did a promo in which Earl said he was not working the main event unless the fans gave him respect. JB said he'd talk to Jeff about it and the next match began.
Match #3: The Beautiful People (Madison and *Yummy* Velvet) vs. Sarita *double yummy* and Taylor Wilde
Good back and forth match between the teams. It started as a "who's sexier" staredown with Velvet and Sarita, whichSarita won, and Sarita took it to the BP early on. She tagged in Taylor who started well,but using basic tag team moves, the BP beat on Taylor for a good five minutes. Finally, after a hot tag, Taylor got to Sarita while Madison came in, and Sarita looked like she would win, but Velvet caught Sarita with a cheap kick and Madison got the roll-up pin.
Earl and JB came back out and JB asked what was going on. Earl said he would work the main events, becausehe got the respect he wanted, as he now has his own TNA shirt for sale! (Whatever floats your boat, Earl. :roll:)
Main Event #1: AJ vs. Abyss
Typical quality main between the two. Abyss's new theme (although catchy) drives me nuts. Leave him as the Monster andquit making him Hogan 2.0, dammit!AJ tried to do the whole coward thing, but it doesn't suit him. Abyss tossed him around for a while, but AJ started using high flying moves, including the spiral tap to get his way. Abyss chokeslammed AJ to the outside, but AJ had enough and got DQ'ed when he hit Abyss with the belt when Abyss went to get him. AJ taunted Abyss, but the big guy got him with a Black Hold Slam before leaving. Naturally he did the whole "Ring" deal, but whatever.
Intermission (also known as get autographs, take a bathroom break, check battery on camera, get another drink and battle the crowd to my seat within 15 minutes. Wow.): During this time, I got the autographs of the Beautiful People (yeah.......) and did all the above. It was hectic and insane, but I somehow made it with two minutes to spare. I'm just that damn good.
Match #5: Brutus Magnus vs. Big Rob Terry
Let me say something right now. TV makes a lot of dudes look taller than they really are. I'm average sized, and I'm only a few inches shorter than some of the guys. They are a lot shorter than you'd think. That being said, Rob Terry is huge! Him and Abyss were the two tallest guys, but Rob is a big man for real. It was another quick match, with Magnus heeling us by trying to sing the British National Anthem, but Terry came out (to one of my favorite songs, Click Click Boom, no less) and killed him.
Match #6: Desmond Wolfe vs. The Pope
Sounds like something I've written in the Draft Game lately. Anyway, best match of the night. Pope didn't drop any money, but he was pimpin' as ever. Wolfe was spot on the entire match and used those European moves to perfection, but Pope was quick and even gave Wolfe a few pimp slaps. In the end, Wolfe went for the Tower of London, but Pope countered and hit some sort of "from the top turnbuckle" D'angleo Dinero Express down onto Wolfe for the win.
Main Event #2: Beer Money Inc. vs. Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle
Beer Money came out and EVERYONE sang their theme song on the way out. It was kinda weird, but hell I sang along too. Then they heeled us and said they never performed in front of a bigger crowd of retards. (Vintage James Storm.) Jeff came out and then Kurt came out to the biggest pop of the night (as it was his home state). Jeff and Storm started off with a quick back and forth go-around, but then the comedy picked up when Jeff went for a sunset flip. James tried to get the ropes, and Jeff, still holding onto Storm, pulled Storm's pants down to reveal a grey thong or something. My eyes weren't on that image long enough to make sure. (Agggh, my eyes!). Storm went to tag in Roode with his pants still down, but Roode jumped off the apron and said to the effect of "Hell no, don't touch me!". James pulled up his pants and went after Jeff, and Jeff knocked him into Roode, who for some reason started PETTING Storm's head! (This match got weird every second). The tags were made and Angle fought Roode for most of the match, withone lastweird moment when Angle put on Storm's hat and started riding Roode like a bull. (Yeah,I couldn't believe it either.)Finally it came to the end after a stroke to Storm and an Angle Slam to Roode.
Final Autographs and the ride home
After the match, Angle stayed in the ring, where you could get a picture with him for $20. Yeah, right. Forget that, I got other pictures. Anyway, we waited by the guard rail, where Kaz, Rhino, Amazing Red, Sarita, Wilde, Hebner and JB signed autographs. I snagged them and was about to go when I hear some guy ask if Kaz could get Red (who was on the other side finishing up) to sign his book. Kaz said "Yo, Red, you got one over here!" Red continued toward the ramp and Kaz told the guy "He don't hear too well. Hold on." So what does Kaz do? He takes the guy's book,runs afterRed and has him sign it then, before returning it to the guy. Nicely done Kaz! Never knew Red had hearing problems. :P
Abyss signed graphs at the exit and guess who else was there? Kayfabe Guard Guy! I really wanted to throw this guy in the ring and beat him, but it's his job, so oh well.
I got home about midnight and crashed after about one in the morning. Thank goodness it was Saturday!
Question of the Blog: I've only been to that little house show so far, but what was your best wrestling experience?
Song of the Blog: Click Click Boom by Saliva: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYhQ96Ch_R4
Thanks for checking it out and I see you all on the next blog. (Hopefully I'll something interesting to tell about).