BTW, iloveflash... in that comment about "What if he ran out of gum... again"... and you said you didn't get it, well... In Duke Nukem 3D, one of his comments was "I'm here to kick @$$ and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum..." That's where the comment and WHAT IF came from. But then, I am an old fart so only I would know this... LOL... anyways, there's your explaination... Clear now?

Also, just for reference, the comment is actually from a "B-movie" starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. The movie is called "They Live". In the movie, he enters a bank by accident with a shotgun and an ammo strap around his shoulder. People see him and stare in confusion, so he says "I'm here to chew bubble gum, and kick @$$... (Long pause) and I'm all out of gum..." (Yes, backwards to how Duke Nukem says it, prolly for copyright reasons, or to make us find out where the comment came from.) But, nevertheless, that is where the ORIGINAL comment came from. This has been your gaming history for the day.

*In Announcers Voice* -Looks around, peeks behind the cobwebs and the dust bunnies- "IS ANYONE HERE!?!?!" -Echos- "BWAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA!!! ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE DONE IT, A FULL YEAR WITH ABSOLUTE SILENCE!!! (Well, okay, 1 year and 1 day, but lets not get technical and say we did) I JUST CAN'T DIE, YOU CAN BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA ME, YOU CAN BLAST ME WITH A THOUSAND MISSILES, YOU CAN TOSS A MILLION GRENADES, BUT I JUST KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE!!! COME ON, SAY IT... YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS... SAY IT, WHO'S YOUR DADDY... -giggles- WELL, OKAY, WHO'S THE "WHAT IF" MASTER... SAY IT... -Listens- THAT'S RIGHT, ME, THE ONE AND ONLY "WHAT IF" MASTER!!! HEY, I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT FOR A YEAR, I DESERVE TO BE LET OUT ONCE IN A WHILE!!! THIS SUPER SPECIAL EDITION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW, LOLLIPOPS ARE NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE!!! WHO KNEW EMO CHEERLEADERS THAT OWN CHAINSAWS COULD BE JUST AS CUTE AS A ZOMBIE ITSELF!!! WELL, WITHOUT LISTENING TO MORE POINTLESS BABBLE FROM ME, LET'S GET ON WITH ANOTHER ROUND OF "WHAT IF"!!!

WHAT IF...

1.) ... lollipops didn't make you fat?
2.) ... lollipops didn't make girls look sexy?
3.) ... chainsaws were available for cheerleaders?
4.) ... zombies and cheerleaders got along?
5.) ... guys didn't get turned on by cheerleaders?
6.) ... they stop making games with sexy girls?
7.) ... all zombie games weren't so easy to figure out?
8.) ... they stopped putting weapons in zombie games?
9.) ... zombie games weren't so "B-movie" like?
10.) ... you could play a zombie?
11.) ... the girl used a lollipop to kill zombies?
12.) ... the girl used cheers to kill zombies?
13.) ... her boyfriend became a cyborg?
14.) ... all you could do was watch your friends die?
15.) ... cheerleaders stop wearing panties?
16.) ... cheerleaders wore pants instead of dresses?
17.) ... zombies were cheerleaders?
18.) ... you played a zombie who's hell bent on killing humans with a chainsaw?
19.) ... you were a cheerleader hunter?
20.) ... the game came with instructions? (If you don't get it, buy the game and see what you get)
21.) ... you could use a gun in the game?
22.) ... zombies were prettier than cheerleaders?
23.) ... cheerleaders are really the zombies?
24.) ... you could play a jock?
25.) ... your chainsaw didn't come with optional extras?
26.) ... they never make another zombie game again?
27.) ... they stop making zombie games with excessive blood?
28.) ... Resident Evil was the real reason for Lollipop Chainsaw?
29.) ... Resident Evil teamed up with Lollipop Chainsaw?
30.) ... the next zombie game has children as our heroes?

YES!!! ANOTHER 30 JUST FOR YOU!!! (Congratz to The Writers Lounge for staying around another year for us writers, and thanks for everyone for their participation, I hope everyone has had as much fun reading this as I have had writing this.)

*in a loud thunderous voice* PEEEEEEEKKKKKKKAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA, I have DONE IT again... 1 whole year of staying away... and now... Yes... OH YES... I AM BACK... AND THIS POST IS BACK... HA HA HA HA... YOU THINK I DIE JUST BECAUSE OF 1 YEAR OF SILENCE??? YOU FOOLS!!! BLOOD HAS BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE AND NOW I MUST DO WHAT I DO BEST... WHAT IF... !!!

(First off all, congrats on this union still being around. Congratz to all who are still a part of this. And most of all, Congratz to me for keeping this post ALIVE!!!) ^_^ Now, let's get this started so we can get this over with...

*In announcers voice* WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO ANOTHER EDITION TO "WHAT IF"!!! I KNEW I WOULD DISAPPOINT YOU AGAIN, AND SO I SEE I HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU, AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DISAPPOINT YOU, EVEN IN THE FUTURE!!! ANYWAYS, THIS EDITION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "DUKE NUKEM FOREVER"!!! BECAUSE, LIKE ME, I TAKE FOR FREAKIN EVER TO COME OUT OF MY HIDING PLACE TO MAKE YOU SEE HOW IT GETS BETTER!!! WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR, LETS DISAPPOINT YOU SOMEMORE...

WHAT IF...

1.) ...the next Duke Nukem takes... you know... Forever?
2.) ...you could use a squirt gun?
3.) ...the babes were real?
4.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to side scrollers?
5.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to 2D?
6.) ...you COULD "Come get some"?
7.) ...the game was called "Duke Platinum"
8.) ...the game was called "Duke Fusionum"
9.) ...Lara Craft and Duke Nukem met?
10.) ...Duke Nukem teamed up with Gears Of War?
11.) ...Duke Nukem was a woman?
12.) ...the game was really called "Punch Sockem"?
13.) ...the game was really called "Nuke Dukem"?
14.) ...the next Duke Nukem, the maps are bigger?
15.) ...the next Duke Nukem, the monsters are bigger?
16.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an RPG?
17.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a racer?
18.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a fighter?
19.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a RTS game?
20.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an MMORPG?
21.) ...Duke Nukem never came out?
22.) ...Doom repalces Duke Nukem series?
23.) ...there was no blood to spill in the game?
24.) ...Duke Nukem ran out of gum... again? (If you don't get it, don't ask)
25.) ...this is the last Duke Nukem game... Forever?
26.) ...Duke Nukem didn't take... Forever?
27.) ...Duke Nukem was really called "Duke Nukem 4Life"?
28.) ...this is only Duke Nukem game we ever need?
29.) ...they tell another Duke Nukem rumor, only to come true in 14 years?
30.) ...this is the last "What If"... Forever?

YES, IT'S DONE, ANOTHER WHAT IF JUST FOR YOU!!! I RULE!!! (But seriously, congratz for being around for so long. Hope to see you guys next year and the years to come. Maybe even continue to bring more "What If" in the future.)

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... *Mad chaotic look of laughter* YOU FOOLS, YOU SILLY FOOLS!!! DO YOU SEE, YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THIS POST, IT IS HERE FOREVER!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... *cough* HA HA HA... *cough* *cough* *cough*... *choke*... (Looks around) Ahem, as I was saying... BWAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

*In Announcers Voice* HELLO ALL YOU HAPPY PEOPLE, SORRY TO BRING YOUR SPIRITS DOWN, BUT THIS IS NOT OVER BY ALONG SHOT!!! WE ARE STILL HERE AND WE BRING YOU... YES... YOU GUESSED IT... "ANOTHER" ROUND OF "WHAT IF" JUST FOR YOU FANS, BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT AND YOU KNOW IT!!! AFTER OVERA YEAR OF BEING AWAY, WE ARE BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!! IN THIS EPISODE OF "WHAT IF", WE BRING YOU GOOD TIDINGS BY DISCUSSING THE GAME OF "SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD" FOR PS3!!! HEY, IT MAY BE 2D, BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT "CRASH AND THE BOYS" OR "RIVER CITY RANSOM"!!! (ALTHOUGH IF YOU PREFER I DISCUSS THAT THEN... NO??? YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME TO BRING BACK A CLASSIC GA... REALLY??? TRUELY??? FINE, "SCOTT PILGRIM" IT IS!!!) ANYWAYS, LETS GET TO IT SHALL WE??? (I will be refering to the PS3 version, for that is the version I have, since there is also a XBOX 360 version as well.)

WHAT IF...

1.) ...you didn't win any PS3 trophies?

2.) ...it mocked Final Fight?

3.) ...this game didn't compair to Streets Of Rage?

4.) ...it was easy enough to not take damage in this game?

5.) ...this game didn't copy River City Ransom?

6.) ...you could play as characters from River City Ransom?

7.) ...Technos Japan sued them for copyright?

8.) ...this game was based on another TV series?

9.) ...you could become a Power Ranger?

10.) ...this wasn't an Action/RPG?

11.) ...this was more of an RPG style than action?

12.) ...the music was modernized?

13.) ...this game also had lag when more characters appeared on screen?

14.) ...you could buy property and then be able to buy what you want for free?

15.) ...this was harder to play?

16.) ...all the playable characters were male?

17.) ...all the playable characters were female?

18.) ...you could play through the entire game (with every character) in 1 day?

19.) ...you could get every PS3 trophy in 1 day?

20.) ...no one played this game?

21.) ...the game was given a rating of "0 out of 10"?

22.) ...the game didn't let you use weapons?

23.) ...the enemies didn't attack you with cheap shots?

24.) ...you could shoot fireballs?

25.) ...you could get $20 bills instead of coins?

26.) ...it didn't take so long to get to your destination?

27.) ...you needed the Playstation Move controller?

28.) ...SEGA caught on to this idea?

29.) ...people didn't steal ideas from other games?

30.) ...this game was only available on the Wii?

There you go, another 30 list for all you fans out there. (For those of you who are not aware, this game is based on a show/movie that came out by the same name. Although the movie is more about love/romance crap, the game is more of a "Rescue The Princess From The Evil Bad Buys". [Actually, it's more like "Beating the crap out of the EX boyfreinds who OWN her"])

Glad to see this thread is still here, thank you all for keeping this going. I know I don't get on much, but that's the price I pay for having a job, having a life, and paying my bills. Sometimes we have to sacrifice the things we enjoy so we can have the life we want. Good to see you all doing well and this Union is still alive. Keep on writing.

What if the what if was still going? Foolz3h

Um... :roll: It still is ^_^

And nice to see you to Foolz3h... :)

...*Long 2 day silence* :roll: Oh, okay, it's nice to see you as well iloveflash :D

Um, saving space, it was a long post, but he knows what he said. :P

waZelda

Nice job, and nice to see you again as well. Glad to see the WHAT IF is not totally hated... YET!!! Even if it wasn't totally funny, at least you made an effort, and that's all that really matters. But thanks and good effort, anyone else???

WHAT IF your story just ran on forever and ever and ever and ever *2,000 years later* and ever and ever? :P

Just curious to see if you can answer my WHAT IF... :D (DAMN IT, NOW YOU GOT ME STARTING IT...)

What if?

If is considered a very important word

Word is just a word, it's the meaning behind of the word that we understand

Understand that this is just a test of your skills

Skills is what we all need to survive

Survive your parents, and you can do anything

Anything goes when everything is wrong

Wrong way to go when you can't get it right

Right there

There is life

Life is an infinite energy beyond scientific understanding

Understanding us is to understand yourself

Yourself is all you really fear

Fear is only a state of mind

Mind if I have another pizza?

Pizza taste great with soda

Soda is not always good for you

You can make it if you let yourself make it

It only takes 2 to make 1

1 is all we really need

Need it, not want to

To have what......OH... DAMN YOU ILOVEFLASH, DAMN YOU TO HELL!!!

Well, I'll give you this, it did made me think. Although the entire thing is nothing new to me. I pretty much knew that media is the worst kind of flattery and sure the government is covering up conspiracies to make new ones seem like there was no conspiracy after all.

As for comedy... um... *Looks at it up-side-down* OOOHHH, there it is, you have to read it backwards. *smacks forhead* Man, I was reading this all wrong. But seriously... NO, SERIOUSLY... um, this seems more like thought processing and problem solving than a comedy script. It would only be funny to thoughs who don't understand anything and laugh at this because they can't make heads or tails out of anything. The prupose of comedy is to create a joke, a gag, a cliche of words that makes us laugh.

Case in point = http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/joke

But then of course, that's the definition. Comedy relies more on humor and fun.

Yes friends, it's me. I am BACK once again to give you MORE "WHAT IF" just for you. For those of you who are new here, welcome, and I will let others explain this silly little thread to you. FOr those of you who still know me well, lets see if I have what it takes to come up with 30 more "WHAT IF's" just for you, and only because you didn't ask for them. :D

*Announcers Voice* "HELLO ALL AND WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO ANOTHER EDITION IF "WHAT IF"! YOU ONLY THOUGHT I WAS DEAD, BUT YOU THOUGHT WRONG! THIS PORTION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2", "DAMN IT JUGGERNAUGHT, YOU'RE ON OUR SIDE!" WELL, LETS GET TO IT!

WHAT IF...

1.) ...Iron Man was really Plastic Man

2.) ...Juggernaut was really called Dreadnaut

3.) ...Iceman couldn't melt

4.) ...Blade was really called Sword

5.) ...all game systems allowed you every character

6.) ...the game had more marvel characters

7.) ...this game was in 2D

8.) ...Venom was the best character in the game

9.) ...Juggernaut was the worst character in the game

10.) ...the ultimate power was to fart

11.) ...the ultimate power was to burp

12.) ...the ultimate power was to think

13.) ...the ultmate power was to do NOTHING AT ALL

14.) ...one character had the powers of every marvel character

15.) ...Final Fantasy joined in the fight

16.) ...Street Fighter joined in the fight

17.) ...King Of Fighters joined in the fight

18.) ...this game was made by SNK

19.) ...this game was made by CAPCOM

20.) ...this game was an RPG

21.) ...Activision never existed

22.) ...Pitfall Harry was a secret character

23.) ...this game went to NES only

24.) ...this game went to SEGA (If SEGA was still around)

25.) ...you really could be any of the characters in the game

26.) ...it not only cost you to buy, but also to play

27.) ...in the end, there can be only one

28.) ...this game was called "DC ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2"

29.) ...you could play as MARVEL & DC characters

30.) ...there was no comic related game ever made

There you go, another 30 just for you adoring fans who just LOVE to see more "WHAT IF". Oh, come on now, you know you missed me so much that you just couldn't wait for more of this. Besides you knew sooner or later this was going to continue, it was just a matter of time. :D Anyways, enjoy.

Okay, okay, just for old time sake, I figured I would make one set just because this thing was like 7 pages away, plus I need to amuse myself and see if I still got it as well as see if "iloveflash" can come up with some more witty stuff. Of course many of you have come up with some really good stuff as well. The last one was a great set, especially for a ZELDA set. Well here we go...

*Announcers Voice* WELCOME ALL ONCE AGAIN TO THIS "WHAT IF" SHOW!!! WE HOPED YOU LIKE THE LAST SHOW, SO WE ARE BACK TO ANNOY YOU TO THE POINT OF GETTING A GUN AND BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT!!! THIS "WHAT IF" IS DEDICATED TOTALLY TO THE OLD 8-BIT NES SYSTEM!!! WOW, LOOK AT ALL THOSE 16 COLORS ON THAT GAME, EVERYTHING JUST LOOKS SO REAL!!! WELL, LETS GET THIS THING STARTED!!!

WHAT IF...

1.) ...8-bit was the new 16-bit?

2.) ...16-bit was the new 8-bit?

3.) ...swords didn't look like sticks?

4.) ...magic spells had cool effects?

5.) ...games had digital sound?

6.) ...games had surround sound?

7.) ...games had 256 colors?

8.) ...games went to CD?

9.) ...games had cinematics?

10.) ...games were in 3D?

11.) ...NES was STILL the best system in the world to this day?

12.) ...passwords had a difference between O and 0?

13.) ...cartridges didn't require cleaning?

14.) ...Mario looked teh same in every game?

15.) ...controllers had 6 buttons?

16.) ...all games were in the system, no buying cartridges?

17.) ...you could play SNES games on the NES?

18.) ...you could have several sprites on screen without slowdown?

19.) ...sprites had several frames of animation?

20.) ...you could use 4 controllers?

21.) ...NES had modem play?

22.) ...R.O.B. wasn't expensive?

23.) ...R.O.B. played all your games?

24.) ...NES came with every game?

25.) ...NES had a hard drive?

26.) ...NES played DVD movies?

27.) ...NES used memory cards?

28.) ...Microsoft came out with the NES?

29.) ...you could mod the NES?

30.) ...NES wasn't so bulky?

OKay, there you go, 30 more just for you. Lets see who can come up with some responces? (AND DAMN IT ILOVEFLASH, GIVE OTHER PEOPLE A CHANCE FIRST??? :D )