Hello gamer's, bloggers and porn addicts. Jerk is back from an insanely long Hiatus. I do apologize for that but I unfortunately have had my head so far up my ass that I could where my self as a hat. I'm kicking off the relaunch of my dream with this letter and the sponsorship of a local tournament in the town we are based in. For those of you who still fallow us through this crap Im sorry for not giving you what you wanted. I want to thank Boros for being our work horse. My brother in arms if your reading this props man you carried us. We are gonna come back with more reviews and more things that make you think, "Why the hell do I even read this shit?" Thank you so much for reading this- Jerk
Boros here to ring in the new year. Yeah, I know it's a little late, but I had s#!t to do. Sadly, due to financial limitations, I didn't play enough games from 2013 to do a top and bottom 5 list like I wanted, but I will discuss here. Keep in mind of the rule though, this is of the games that I have PLAYED but not necessarily reviewed. I will review all of the games brought up here at some point, but this list should've been made around the first, so I'm very far behind, and with that said. Let's start.
Filling this spot was piss easy, because only two games pleasantly surprised me this year,and this one resides in a genre I hate, and that was Spec Ops: The Line. I truly awesome experience through the human psyche of madness hidden away in the skin of a really poorly made modern military shooter. If the gameplay was any good, then this may have been in another spot on this tribute to 2013 as well. Just an all around good story.
I had two games that could go here as possible most disappointing and that was Paper Mario: Sticker Star and this game, but when I really thought about it, Paper Mario: Sticker Star being a 30 hour s#!t slide was no surprise to me, so the award for biggest disappointment goes to Grand Theft Auto 5. Do not get me wrong, it's still an ok game, but it was a major disappointment. Without most of the sandbox fun from San Andreas, without the good narrative of GTA 4, and without the length of the same, also while being split between 3 different characters making the game feel even shorter, this game feels like someone just wanted a big old money pile and doesn't really have much major appeal. Plus, the one big feature of the game, the heists, is restricted to about 4 main missions throughout the game, never to be done again. I would've really enjoyed to have this in the post story sandbox, but that turned out just to be a pipe dream.
Best of 2013
This game was the other pleasant surprise of the year, being only surprising because of how good it was. To understand, I go into every game thinking it's going to be crap. This is why populating disappointments was difficult, but that makes good games really stand out. This game is Rayman: Legends. Origins just left me luke warm, but this game is a miracle. It's still got the awesome platforming of Origins, but with a bunch of the flaws ironed over. Plus, it also got rid of the vehicle sections from the first one and replaced them with Murphy missions, which used the touch screen on the Wii U, and I don't know what they play like on any of the other systems. They can be annoying, but it's still not as bad as the vehicle sections. Plus, Rayman: Legends has all of the levels of Rayman: Origins playable through the new physics. Just overall a fun, fun, great game.
Worst of 2013
I do not know what they were thinking when this was released. With a plot consisting of nonsensical bulls#!t that wasn't even cannon to the rest of the series. An obnoxious assistant to hold your hand throughout the entire game. An annoying structure that took out any feeling of challenge from the previous games,and minigames copy pasted from the previous game. It's pretty obvious that I'm referring to Mario Party 9 now, isn't it? This game only left two thoughts in my head. "Where the hell was Rosalina on that one?" and "I'll have another shot." This game should have the great big Boros S#!t Award for worst game of the year. I hoped I'd forget it along with the other brain cells I'll killed drinking because of it, but sadly, I didn't.
Well, that pretty much sums up the year in the nutshell for me. It's been a rocky year, but a new year is here and I hope everyone has a happy one. Salutations from all of us at 8 Ball and Lucky 7 reviews, and have a good new year.
Boros here, and my question to everyone reading is this: People make mistakes, and nobody's perfect. These are facts, so is it right to make a big deal out of a mistake that someone makes? Like video game designers when their games are... well, less than stunning, or when they make a mistake that almost murders an otherwise delightful expeirience. Is it right to make a big deal out of those mistakes even if they really annoyed you?
I think it is, because chances are that you noticed the mistake due to the fact that you weren't being pulled into the story, characters, or gameplay enough to enjoy yourself. Good games simply destract from the mistakes, or glitches, rather than trying to make them perfect which is impossible. Have you ever watched a movie or played a game so much that it actually gets worse each time you play it? It's because you're more inclined to notice things you didn't before.
For example, in my most recent review of Metroid: Other M, I mentioned the scene where a character sacrifices himself to blow up the metroids on that ship by detaching the whole wing and questioned why that person couldn't just be outside the wing to do that. "Because Samus push the destruction button FROM OUTSIDE THE F@%KING WING!" When in reality, the only way to detach and blow up the wing was to cause enough damage to the wing to activate the preprogrammed function to eject that wing. The button Samus pushed was only the airlock. I didn't notice this mistake until I read the review a second time after posting, when reading with a friend who reminded me. However, I'm fine with this mistake for 2 reasons.
#1: It's not that easy to remember this game due to the horrid voice acting. Samus's voice was putting me to sleep the whole game, so the fact that I was able to remember enough to even review it is nothing short of a miracle.
#2: Does it really make the scene any less stupid? Hell, it almost makes it stupider, because he could've just told Samus to fire missles into the damned thing, or hell, just shoot at it from the outside.
But I digress. Back to the point, should mistakes be ridiculed because everybody makes them?
I say yes, they should, and there are several reasons why I believe they should. First of all, it helps the person who made the mistake learn from them and improve on the next try. Going back to the Metroid: Other M example, I recently saw that game in a Gamestop selling for $3.99. I have never seen a Nintendo intellectual property sell for less than $15, so that just astounds me. However, due to this, I get the feeling that they learned from that mistake, and the next Metroid game will be better. Second, sometimes they can get a good laugh. Things can be so bad, and have so many mistakes that it's simply hilarious to make fun of, and third, in terms of video games, and movies for that matter, you've payed money for them. As in my reviews, there is no money involved. While there maybe a time investment to read the 8 Ball and Lucky 7 reviews, there is no fee. However, with games, and such, there's an extra investment of money and time, so if you're not enjoying yourself, then it's makes it all the more frustrating.
I'm actually interested in hearing opinions, comments, or what people have to say about this subject. What do you think? Are mistakes ok, and is it right to make fun of them? Thank You.
"I guess I've deserved the right to die."
Boros here, and the GCoW goes to a character that I hold in high regard, Kratos Aurion. He got his start in Tales of Symphonia, when he represented the mysterious mentor to the main character. I've always like these kinds of characters, escpecially when done right, and this is an example of the type done right. Kratos afterward became somewhat of a symbol of the Tales franchise, being seen in almost all of the later Tales games in some way, shape, or form. And for good reason, as he is one of the coolest characters in the games, and is deserving of Game Character of the Week.
Score: 9.5 / 10
"I have fury for you finkrats with mustard!"
We decided since April Fool's day was last week, but Ouro and I decided to represent Easter last week so that went to Yoshi, Now, we feel that an April Fool's character would be appopriate here, and what better fool to use than Fawful from the Mario & Luigi games. Boros here to talk about the Game Character of the Week, Fawful. He got his start in Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga as Cackletta's main henchman, then evolved into his own villian in Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story. The whole time he's on screen is a laugh because he's constantly spewing things that are so stupid, that you almost have to quote them later. This beyond stupidity makes him perfect for the clown of game character of the week.
Score: 7.5 / 10
Hello again dear and beloved friends. This is your dear friend Jerk. Once again I feel its time for me to have a little chat with my fan base. You guys here on Gamespot and Facebook don't know it but we have a fan base that is estimated to be around 350 total. That includes all the ones on here, Game Stop, Facebook, twitter, tumbler and youtube. We have produced an approximation of 80 reviews and 120 total pieces of media for our company. We have added 4 Departments and 6 members. We've done all of these things in just 4 months. I cant deny, we are a booming and growing force. We have a few followers on Gamespot and Gamestop. We have 31 people who say they like our page on Facebook. Wile most of our reviews we have written may be cynical and even mean but hey pop culture drew first blood by making crappy media. I'm proud to say I'm the leader of the bunch I have under my command. They are the greatest bunch of guys and gals this old boy can have. Wile some of them may slip up and do some thing that really pisses me off I still love all of them, and will gladly defend them against SWAGITS, Trolls, Haters and just plain douche bags. All you guys are like family to me and I'm glad to have you on board.
Ht. 2ft 4in or 73 cm Wt. 18lbs or 8.1466 kg
"Well, here I am! Conker the King... king of all the land! Who'd a thought that? But how did I come to this, you say? And who are those strange fellows that surround my throne? That you also say! Well. It's a long story. Come closer and I'll tell you. It all started... yesterday. And what a day that was! It's what I call... a bad fur day! "Conker
For this month we give Conker from Conker's bad furday the honer. Being the most crude of all the Nintendo characters we cant help but think of him when we have a month that has a holiday that is mainly held as a day to go down to the old pup and get blasted. Conker you brought dirty sayings and nasty game play to a rather fu cked up generation. We love you
I give conker 9 out of 10. He came from behind and ended up on top.
Ht. 5ft 11in or 180.34cm Wt 120lbs or 54.4311kg
Who better to get the game character of the week of Easter than the egg throwin' colorful Yoshi. Yoshi raised both of the Mario Bros. since they were babies, and therefore are almost responsable for every time the bros saved the kingdom. Yoshi's also come in a variety of colors ranging across most of the rainbow, plus the two rarest Yoshi's, black and white. They've also got his own group of spinoff games, which includes the memorable Yoshi's island game. Yoshi is basically perfect for the role of Easter's game character of the week.
Score: 8.5 / 10
Boros here, and Ouro and I decided that Ridley deserves the honor of game character of the week. Ridley is a reoccuring boss monster from the Metroid series, and through just sheer tenacity does he keep coming back. He's been blown up countless times, and he still comes back. Even at one point being built into mostly a cybernetic creature just to come back to fight Samus. Granted, it doesn't make that much sence why he keeps coming back, but truly Ridley is an abonination of durability and tenacity, and deserves game character of the week.
Score: 8 / 10