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NES Pilgrimage Vol.2: Being the Baddest Dude For Cheeseburgers

This week, we'll be further exploring Bad Dudery at it's finest. Bad Dudes vs Dragon Ninja is well-known for its dark, yet intimate narrative. The legend itself is hotly debated of course, thus it is unknown whether Blade and Striker's quest is to give the President of the United States a Big 'n Tasty Burger, a Jr. Bacon Double Deluxe, or perhaps even a Sourdough Jack. The following is a document on how this bit of American Folklore is thought to have developed.

Hovering Ninja are bad enough..

You might think a Hovering Ninja would be scary enough..

But HOLY CRAP NOW HE'S ON FIRE!!

..but HOLY CRAP NOW HE'S ON FIRE!!

To be honest unless it said DAGRON GATE, it is good translation for NES standard

It doesn't read DAGRON gate, making this a pretty good translation by NES standards.

The president's hand is in its traditional holding a burger form already.

As is tradition, the President's hand is, as always, shaped and ready to hold a burger.

This presidential speech rates somewhere between

This Presidential Speech rates somewhere between "Ask not what your country can do for you..." and "I did not have sex with that woman."

I'm pretty sure 1601 Pennsylvania Avenue is a Burger King.

I'm pretty sure 1601 Pennsylvania Avenue is a Burger King.

NES Pilgrimage: Games I Couldn't Beat Before Vol. 1

Today, games expect you to play them through to the end, but this wasn't always the case. They used do everything in their power to kill you a few feet closer to the end each time. This was a time when sitting at the credits didn't leave you thinking, "Aw man, there's no more game left?". That era is known today as NES.

No one knows how long ago it was, as everyone from that time died when Dracula took over the continent of Europe, but recordings indicate beating a videogame made many exclaim, "WOOO! Finally! Jesus why did there have to be 4 bosses in a row with no health inbetween and one death sends you to the first part of the last level with no powerups, and why did I keep coming back?"

Here is a collection of polaroid photos found in a time capsule documenting this lost history.

I'm pretty sure I remember this happening.

Wish I knew about this before I took a trip to Europe where everyone was dead.

Protip: Don't knock off Dracula's ead without 3 cross boomerangs.

Protip: Don't knock off Dracula's head without 3 cross boomerangs

I think you have a spelling error in there.

I think you have a spelling error in there.

Ah, you fixed it.

Ah, you fixed it.

This game is great! It has a vampire AND an explosion.

This game is great! It has a vampire AND an explosion.

You know when I was young I didn't know the ending text was all wrong and wondered who that guy was.

He looks okay to me, bad translation made the gloomy grey ending with no Simon the one where he lives happily ever after.

Hey Dad! Check out my Batflip!

Alucard, you suck in this game.

That's better.

That's better, Hey we should adopt Grant DaNasty, I feel bad leaving him in the clocktower.

Am I a Bad Dude!? I wear sunglasses indoors AND...

Am I a Bad enough Dude!? I wear sunglasses indoors AND..

can beat up an army of ninjas plus a midget form my Dudesmobile!

I beat up an army of ninjas plus a particularly angry midget from the top of my Dudesmobile.