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2chase Blog

Stop kidding yourself

You're going to buy Diablo 3. Trust me.

If you stillinsist on telling people you aren't going to buy the game, then the only question I have for you is...

Are you planning on pre-ordering it, or do you think you'll buy it from a brick and mortar such as Gamestop on DAY ONE?

And for the most stubborn of the stubborn--I'll give you a month tops before you cave.

While the haters try to figure out how to fill the rest of their half empty glass with delusional thoughts of Torchlight 2 and Who Gives a **** 3, I'm going to be balls deep in the blissful euphoria that is Diablo 3. Realistically, I find it hard to believe that the rumors of a Holiday 2011 release are true. However, I'm willing to bet that Blizzard will throw us a bone of some kind at BlizzCon '11 and finally give us information that will tame our restless psyches.

There is NO solution for the whole debacle over the always on DRM and the no mods or lan. I'm not addressing the real money auction house. There are going to be way too many people playing this game, which will lead to way too many cheaters and hackers if the game wasn't always on DRM. I agree that Blizzard's popularity has become its achilles heal as far as delivering everything gamers want from them. Understand that Blizzard is a business in the video game industry. They want to make a good profit and maintain a reputation of good integrity. Sadly, great sacrifices were made to create an environment without cheaters. There are enough gamers who care more about an environment without cheaters than they do about whether or not the game is always on DRM; so that Blizzard will make a good profit of Diablo 3 while maintaining the best reputation of integrity possible. Blizzard has proven their always on DRM system to be of the highest quality in the industry. Look at WoW and Starcraft 2--virtually no cheaters in the game, online. The point I'm trying to make is if you really need someone to hate,hate the hackers and cheaters.

And seriously, stop kidding yourself.

You Mad?

Anticipated Games of 2011 from the dome

Most Anticipated (100% buys, ordered in significance)

  1. Portal 2
  2. Battlefield 3
  3. Mass Effect 3
  4. Deus Ex 3

Most Intriguing (buy if good reviews, ordered in significance)

  1. Duke Nukem Forever
  2. Rage (for Mac)
  3. Brink
  4. Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (who am I kidding, of course I'll get this)

Runner-Ups (haven't dismissed the idea of buying)

  1. SOCOM 4
  2. Mortal Kombat (PS3 version for Kratos)
  3. F.3.A.R.

I'm curious to hear from others in the comments. Did I miss anything? Who's goin to BlizzCon this year?!

Reviews ruin great movie concepts

When "Mommy and Daddy" become your "Mother and Father," a night at the movies goes from "a fun night of adventure" to an "easily expensive night of potential fun." Agree? Same. Excluding matinee specials, it's over $10 at most theaters and closer to $20 for 3D/iMax. I don't need to get into the absurdity of these price tags, but I willsay that I am patiently waiting for a theater chain to surface, that charges the same price for a DAY PASS of movie going! I digress, given the expensive nature of movie theaters, I will not deny that it makes perfect sense why movie reviews are so important to people.

I won't deny that it makes sense, but I will hound, harass, and discriminate against those that care too much about movie reviews. My reasons for doing so are noble, righteous, and in the end, maintain the protagonist role and live happily ever after.

I'll start with Avatar: The Last Airbender as a prime example... you f*cks. 6%?! John J. Puccio writes, "It's blah blah blah, who gives a sh*t what this idiot said. Honestly. He represents DVDTown.com. Have you been to DVDTown.com? Do you know what Aang, last of the Air Nomads could doto DVDTown.com? The website is terrible. There are ads EVERYWHERE. If you roll-over an ad, an ad of that ad will pop-up. Jesus Christ. I tried to search for The Last Airbender, and the search returned From Dusk Till Dawn;an awesome movie, but this search result was about as good of a match as you vs. me in Bad Company 2--I'll let you interpret that any way you want so you can sleep better tonight. Truth is, The Last Airbender in 3D was awesome. Watching a little kid pull off crazy martial arts moves with the added joy of elemental mastery? DONE. SUCCESS. NOTHING MORE TO DISCUSS. CONVO OVER. I paid money to see this movie because the concept rocked my pants and boxers off and I was not about to let John J. Puccio from f-ing DVDTown.com or any of my idiot friends ruin it.

Next up, Battle: Los Angeles... you f-ing f*cks. How dare you attempt to ruin this movie concept for me. How. Dare you. A 36% rating. OMFG, reviewed by Johnathan W. Hickman. Thanks, John, for adding in the W. so I could distinguish you from all the other assh*le Johnathan Hickmans I know. This doucher's douche-remains of a review is the first in line in a series of haters for Battle: LA. You know what he was concerned about? That the Marines in the movie didn't attempt to communicate and interrogate the first alien soldier they captured. Instead they gutted it and found a weakness, aka killshot. Gamespot.com community, I call upon all of you, please, if Earth is ever invaded by aliens in an incredibly aggressive and violent manner like in Battle LA, do not waste time asking a captured alien soldier his life story. Find the killshot. Spread the word. This movie is meant to be seen in theaters. The concept is worth $10 of my dough. I will be the judge of how the hair of the main character compliments the way the director wanted the sun to shine on the whatever the hell.

Is there anyone left on the planet that agrees with me? Will you come see Battle: LA with me? Because I'm not going alone and my friends won't see it. They're busy cascading multiple Firefox windows across their desktop screen, jacking off to poor movie reviews and reading porn articles simultaneously--their lives are f*cking backwards like that. Anyways, I don't mind that the reviews exist. But then movies like F-ING SOURCE CODE get unbelievable reviews and still no one sees it. I know why; it's because the concept of that movie *deep inwards breath* GODDAMN SUCKS! I wouldn't have such a problem with reviews if the population hadn't become so brainwashed by them. Which brings me back to my solution... $10 full or half day movie pass tickets at theaters. I'll get going on the biz plan.

I was right!... Sort of

The Video Game Awards on Spike TVconfirmed for us that the teaser from BioWare was notShattered Steel related. However, contrary to popular (and quite reasonable) belief, the teaser wasfor Mass Effect 3! Watch the trailer here at gametrailers.com.

Expected to be out for the 2011 holiday season. In the meantime, you can get ME2 for 20 bucks.

I'm curious to see if they actually dive into any kind of multi-player experience with this one, seeing as the trilogy seems to be strictly single-player game play (as well as epic).

BioWare's newest teaser is NOT Shattered Steel!

I, like many others, have a theory about the recent teaser announcement from BioWare.

Thanks to Rock, Paper, Shotgun, we have a decoded look at the barcodes, tweeted by BioWare. We find two numbers: 58.845 and 128.5. The issue becomes that one number hints at the Shattered Steel IP and the other hints at the Mass Effect IP.

58.845 is the "atomic weight" of iron--one major element used to make steel: Shattered Steel.

128.5 degreesFahrenheitis the coldest recorded temperature on Earth, located in Vostok, Antartica: Vostok, a planet in Mass Effect 1.

One thing we can all agree on, is this announcement is not for Shattered Effect nor is it Mass Steel. Ok, so let's all move together from there.

The first thing I want to rule out is that this game is an entirely new IP. Some of you might be aware that BioWare has been searching for help for an unannounced AAA project. Studios often post jobs for "secret new IP's," especially one of BioWare's size. The job posting does not necessarily mean that thisgame is part of that project. So, when we're met with barcode tweets, teaser videos, and teaser pics (below) that have relentless evidence pointing to Mass Effect and Shattered Steel, it's safe to rule out a brand new, un-ME-shattered-steel-related IP.

BioWare Teaser Picture

My theory meshes with that of Kotaku and others--that this game is a multiplayer spin-off of Mass Effect. While I cannot boast a secret, double-agent developer source (yet), I do have my own senses and intellect.

Here's why it's NOT Shattered Steel...

Look at the gun in the picture above. I've played ME and ME2, and the weapon in this picture is almost the exact model of the ME2 sniper rifle.Google image that ish if you don't believe me.

1. This game is not Shattered Steel because the second barcode has to do with Vostok. That's strictly, and quite blatantly, ME.So, how can we possibly relate the first number (58.845) to ME so we can all shut up about Shattered Steel? Yes, 55.845 is the "atomic weight" of iron. The whole bit about "iron being used to make steel" is how BioWare is keeping you guessing--ESPECIALLY since it was the FIRST of two barcode posts. However, 55.845g per mol is the Molecular MASS*!!!!! of iron! IGNORE THE IRON PART. This is the teaser for a new MASS effect game.

2.Mass Effect 2 is being introduced to the PS3 in March of 2011. This sets up nicely for a new ME franchise title releasing on both XB360 and PS3.

3.Shattered Steel involves mech suit combat. Why would they tease us with a human sniper? The answer: they aren't teasing Shattered Steel.

So, is it Mass Effect 3? Maybe, but I don't think so.Take a look at the teaser video. The man is CAMPING.He starts in a sitting position and sees something out the window. Have you ever needed to CAMP in a normal Mass Effect game? No!

I think this will be ME related, but instead of an RPG, it's going to be a multiplayer spin-off of the Mass Effect franchise. Also, possibly set some time prior to ME1 and 2. (Vostok was named in honor of the Vostok program which sent the first Soviets to space)