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-Coleman- Blog

Level up! Fatherhood

My wife had our new baby girl two weeks ago Sunday. Sorry to the people in the fantasy league(s). I've had no motivation or time to produce rankings or check my teams consistently. Sorta preoccupied.

Power Rankings: Week Awkward Fumbling

Power Rankings: Week Awkward Fumblings

Here we go folks. No crying, no fussing-take your medicine and like it.

1. PinkZebras - Can you hear that? My teeth grinding? Yeah, there's a dog out there with a very well-tanned rear-end. Er, a zebra I mean. Delhomme is usually much more human than that performance; however, Maroney is usually much more productive. I guess that cancels it out, and Zebras have the high point total after week one. As we've seen in the past with the Power Rankings, top points don't guarantee the top spot, so enjoy it for now Zebras-the Franklins are hot on your heels.

2. The Franklins - The RB situation has cleared itself up. Portis ran well, although still appears to be injured, and Peterson seems to be the real deal. Big matchup with the Housecats in week 2 will show a lot for each team. Franklins management has also officially placed JP Losman on the trading block. Management informs me that they are looking for a WR.

3. Killer Dolphins - Seriously. Plaxico Burress getting almost 30 points? If Burress puts up half that amount Dolphins would've been closer to the upset zone against the Housecats. I don't have a ton of confidence in this team, but I know that Manager Zayas read this column, so I don't want to give him any locker room propaganda. Lord knows he has his own to use.

4. Prime Timerz - This team seems to awfully hard working, but not necessarily and overachieving one. The PTerz earned a victory in week 1 but I'm in wait and see mode on whether Timerz can move beyond the middle pack.

5. Housecats - Ok. Let's assume that Housecats players performed up to their predicted potential. Then let's say Burress doesn't freak out and score a billion points. Housecats could be sitting with a solid win over the always tough out Killer Dolphins.

6. Bad Newz Kennelz - Palmer and Housh did exactly what they were supposed to. PIT D got the benefit of smoking Cleveland. Other than that, the Kennelz were lucky to beat out San Dimas High. This middle pack is going to be interesting if teams keep trading sloppy, hawt blows like this. BNK management issued this press release, "To those who say BNK overachieved we say this to you: you may be right."

7. Big Willeys - Big Willeys put up a good amount of points but were just unlucky to be playing a team that scored over 100. Because my memory is so short I'm going to say that I predicted playoffs for this team. I still see that in their future, but it will take scores of 80+ to consistently compete. Anything under that sets a team up for a .500 year.

8. San Dimas High - Lost a nailbiter this week to Bad Newz Kennelz. If Brees would've had his normal game S.D.H. would have gotten the W.I.N. I expect this team to move up just a bit. Potential is here, but they just need the luck.

9. Maltese Falcons - Really had an underperforming weekend aside from Brady. It will be interesting to see how the Falcons rally against the Big Willeys, who also have something to prove. If the RBs can match the production of Brady, Maltese should be competitive.

10. Team Deception - Say what? They won last week. But they also beat the Cat Eaters (see below), and scored the least amount of points outside of Maltese. Steven Jackson must perform this week, otherwise Deception is just full of lies.

11. Cheeseheads - Cheeseheads finally updated their roster with active players, so next week they should be at least functional-look out Cheeseheads opponents. The Franklins hath awoken a monster!

12. Cat Eaters - Speaking of monsters, Minnie The Monster failed miserably. She's ok with this. Currently she has bigger concerns like avoiding the stroller and playing with her stuffed hedgehog.

As the weeks start to play out we'll get a better sense for how teams are developing, or not developing. Also next week, more sexual innuendo and potentially modable jokes!

EDIT: i had some awesome pictures to put into this but hey! GS crapped out somehow and i don't want to put them all back in. maybe later

GS Fantasy League 3 Season Preview

You asked for it. You expected it. Here it is. The first official GS Sports League column for Season 3, the Preview Edition.

In no particular order:

1. The Franklins (reigning champions)

QB? Check. WR? Check. TE? Check. RB? Pretty much. No clear #1 for RB but several quality candidates. Lewis and Peterson have been running well early, Deuce has the chance to get a lot of goal line carries, and Portis can payoff well if he's healthy. Issue with the team is that it's not deep at all. No back up WR at the moment (management is waiting to see if Schaub or Losman can get it done in regular season), and DEF is average so although the Franklins will win a lot of games, to call them a true contender depends wholly on whether the RB situation pans out.

2. Maltese Falcons

The Falcons seem to be weak at WR. Lee Evans isn't really a #1, and Cleveland may not be able to complete any passes, much less any to Edwards. Stallworth is not a possession receiver, and as far as I know NE has another deep threat who's better than Stallworth. If Edwards and Evans have breakout years the Falcons could really stand to make the playoffs, but I don't see a team going super deep here. The team does have some decent depth, so if injuries hit the Falcons shouldn't lose too much.

3. The Pink Zebras

The only hole to fill in this team is quarterback. Delhomme seems to be an adequate QB each year, but not necessarily I guy who will win games for you. The WR corps here is solid, and the RBs are going to produce some TDs. Carrying two kickers can be ill-advised, but overall this team looks pretty solid to challenge for a playoff spot.

4. The Housecats

Ah yes, the bitterness seeps out of the pores of this team. Disappointed by last year's playoff hunt Housecats management approached this year's draft with deft and cunning. Huge name players in McNabb, Johnson, and Alexander are supplemented by possible stars in Hackett and Jones-Drew. Jackson is a perennial underachiever but maybe his change of scenery will work out for him. Norwood is a great backup RB, and Baltimore is one of the best DEFs in the league. I expect the Housecats to make the playoffs. Whether they can go deep depends on how they manage the season.

5. The Cheeseheads

Well, I'm not gonna spend too much time here. The Cheeseheads might have been a victim of the moving target known as the draft time. I think Cheeseheads management allowed the children of management to select draft priorities. NAs, IRs, and only one start indicate that the Cheeseheads will again be at the bottom of the cheese barrel.

6. San Dimas High

I see no gaps in this team, but I see no real deep potential either. Tomlinson will win SDH some games on his own (5 TDs lmao), and Brees will always be a good supplement, but I see nothing else here to help those two out. Marshawn Lynch could really be a good addition but that remains to be seen, and Leinart might be a starter on any other team but here he's stuck behind Brees. Leinart might be good trade fodder later. I see a solid year, but not necessarily a long one.

7. Team Deception

Lmao Favor lmao. This is overall a solid team. If Young breaks out and the WR corps produces that's a great anchor to this team. Supplement the team with Steven Jackson who will undoubtedly score points, this is a playoff team in waiting. With Clayton as a solid WR back up, and two good TEs, this team could go far.

8. Cat Eaters

This team is not good.

9. Killer Dolphins

The Dolphins have not entered the league with as much bluster and bravado as they have in recent years. The reasons are apparent. The QB and WRs are better for a team from 2003 than 2007. The RBs have the possibility of being ridiculously productive, but they also have the possibility of being very bust-like, and not in the good bust way. That leaves Todd Heap and the Chicago kicker to score points. I don't know Dolphins. I'm open to being made a believer but work needs to be done.

10. Big Willeys

There is a lot to like about this team. Every starting position has quality. Rudi Johnson is a bloody backup on this team although I expect that to change before this weekend. This newcomer to the league could make a big splash with him and his big willey(s).

11. Bad Newz Kennelz

Well, you knew the year of fantasy football would be rife with Vick and dog references. Heck, two years ago I was in a league called the Ron Mexico League of Glory. Nuff said. I have it in for BNK because he ganked TJ just before I could get him in the draft. Anyway, I'm running out of steam in this preview so I'm talking about other things than how awesome my team is/crappy everyone else's is. Let's see, Palmer and TJ will win you games with their double points. Moss is Washington's only WR threat but holy cow will they not score any points this year. Parker and Jones had one good year in each of their careers-they have something to prove, if they have substance to back it up. I see playoffs.

12. Prime Timerz

Presumably the expectation here is that Gore, McGahee and Rivers will be scoring a ton of points this year. Holt and Ward are possession receivers moving beyond their prime. Calvin Johnson could work out but Lions' "should be good" WRs are a dime a dozen. There are enough players here to get to the playoffs.


Post-season predictions

Champion: Big Willeys

Runner Up: Bad Newz Kennelz

Third Place: Franklins

Fourth Place: Housecats


Season starts this Thursday. NO vs. IND. Make sure you have your lineups set by then. I realize it's tough because injuries can clear up from Thursday to Sunday but do your best.

Good luck everyone. Also, I got no takers on volunteers to write one or more of the weekly columns, so poo to all of you.

I nabbed a Wii

Randomly at the Best Buy across the street.  I'd like to thank my dead PSP's replacement plan for making the purchase free.  I picked up WarioWare and the 500kb or so memory card. 

Anyway, where can I find peeps friend codes?  I have mine!

Coleman: 7925 9489 0193 2751

I fell hard and scraped my knee...

...on WoW.  It's sad really.  I never thought I'd fall because I've made a few excursions into WoW and never got into it.  Well, this round sunk in.  I'm running a Dranny Paladin on Haomarush with other k & r folks, and I'm hooked.  I'm already at level 22 after two and a half weeks, which is amazing considering how little time I have to play games. 

My guildmates twinked me out with some gear and some gold, so that makes the level grind MUCH easier, but now I'm actually at a level I can run mutual quests with them.  Awesome. 

Listening:  The new Shins, Apples in Stereo.

Playing:  WoW, Mario Strikers

Reading:  lol.  Trying to finish Ghost Wars, Game of Thrones, Middlesex, and Fast Food Nation. 

I'm a Bargain Strumpet

Now that fantasy football season is over, back to regular entries that everyone can love.

Lately I've been on a spree of buying discount games.  I love Gamefly's year end sale.  Last year I got Chronicles of Riddick and Half Life 2 (XBOX) for very cheap along with a few other titles.  This year I've picked up Super Mario Strikers, Dreamfall, Psychonauts, Chromehounds, and Call of Cthulhu all on the cheap.  Yesterday I picked up Forza Motorsport and Ace Combat: Unsung War at Best Buy for about 5 bucks total after using my rewards points. 

Maybe it was just the right circumstances for the evening (wife and dog out of town, pizza ordered, six pack in the fridge), but I really enjoyed playing Forza and Ace Combat last night.  I usually do not like seemingly tedious sim-racers, but last night it seemed fresh and enjoyable.  And Ace Combat--wow.  Why was I not told about this series a long time ago?  Although I first started playing flight simulater games way back when on our old Apple II and they're what got me into gaming, I've never played a flight game on gaming console. I played Ace Combat for a while last night and loved it.  I even ordered Belkan War through Gamefly for a cool 15 dollars or so. 

But last night's experience got me to thinking about why I came to enjoy these games seemingly more than a full price game.  Like much in life, it's all about expectations.  When I plop down 60 hard-earned bills for a game, my expectations have jumped dramatically.  This game better kick my arse.  Whereas a with cheap game, I don't feel like I've gone out of my financial way.  Nay, I feel like I've pulled one over on someone.  Getting a AAA title like Forza for so cheap, knowing how many potential gameplay hours it holds, gives me consumer pride--pride in knowing that the retail store and the game publisher haven't gotten the best of me. 

Buying bargain games has another tremendous upside:  only proven titles need apply.  No need to conduct extensive research on the initial reviews and impressions of the game.  You know it's good because it's been discussed over a long period of time and has sold X number of copies.  It's a proven commodity. 

Coupling the bargain value and consumer pride with the raw value of the game, I may try to convince myself (as others have done) to never buy a game at full price again.  I have plenty to keep me occupied.  I can hear the chorus now, "But Coleman, you're a sucker for peer pressure.  You have an undying desire to be accepted by the cool kids."  I know, I know, but maybe I can turn a new leaf.  I'm curious, though, do you think God of War 2 will drop in price by April? 

Next Entry:  Top 5 games and albums of 2006, although not necessarily released in 2006.

Champion Crowned! There's Glory in them thar Holes!

I just have to chuckle.  It was pretty absurd to have the 7 and 8 seeds square off in the finals.  I honestly gave myself no chance of winning once the playoffs started, but as they went on I began to think, "I might actually pull this off."  Now it's not quite the miracle that Greendevils would've pulled off had they won (which they almost did), but still, the story writes itself. 

Once I saw that the Vikings D got me 23 points on Thursday I thought, "This is just my week."  And it was.  Vince Young threw up a lot of points, and Reggie Bush hooked it up as well.   

I'm going to make an honorary sig soon, just trying to figure out how to make it work safe.

In the lmao consolation lmao the Housecats got some redemption, and the Killer Dolphins won the matchup they've been craving with the Deceivers. 

Thanks to everyone who played this season.  Certainly the most dramatic finish, which was fitting for a very up and down year for most.  I'm kicking myself that I didn't put a prize up this year--would've been an excuse to buy myself a game.  Maybe I'll go pre-order God of War 2. 

Again, thanks everyone for making this season the blast it was.  We'll be on next year for A GS Football League 3. 

Playoffs: Pants Party!

Playoffs:  Pants Party!

How to begin...last week was the playoff week of the living dead.  Two teams with losing records made the playoffs.  Two other teams square in the middle of the pack also made the playoffs.  Just like in the NFL, teams that have been playing must win situations to end the regular season wind up going deep in the playoffs.  Pittsburgh last year, maybe Cincinnati or Jacksonville this year. 

But this week’s games tipped off the craziest fantasy football playoff first round I’ve ever been a part of.  For those reading this without being involved in the league, the top 4 seeded teams in the playoffs lost to the lowest 4 teams in the playoffs.  Folks, you’re all invited to the pants party!  Whoever wins this year’s league will savor it for years to come. 

The Breakdown:

(8 ) Greendevils 104, (1) Team Deception 63

This was truly the shocker of the first round (as indicated by the official poll on the board).  Deception got his usual points from Tomlinson, but Greendevils finally had Gore, Jackson, and Leinart live up to expectations, and all in the same week.  It’s clear the trash talking from last week by Deception players motivated the Greendevils, who completely embarrassed the top seed at home.  Greendevils management was ecstatic, as they were seen doing keg stands in the luxury box well after the final whistle had blown. 

(5) The Housecats 87, (4) Team Irony 80

This was truly an epic matchup—everything this column led you to believe.  Without a giant day from Jones-Drew Housecats do not advance.  However, at any moment in time a player’s number could be called, so getting the W is the most important task.  Housecats players were happy to get into the locker room for some brushing and stroking by team petters.  Purring was heard well into the night. 

(6) Low Blows 94, (3) Killer Dolphins 61

I’ve said all along that the Dolphins just don’t have the tools for a deep run in the playoffs (citations omitted).  I was proved right.  The difference in this game was two players.  First, Rofflecopter actually scored points for the Blows, something he is not usually capable of doing.  Second, Mark Clayton, a solid second to third receiver, scored a season high for the Blows.  The surprise performances only exacerbated some sub-par performances from the Dolphins usual studs.  Thus, an upset is made. 

(7) The Glory Holes 118, (2) San Dimas High 80

This was the upset special last week so I can’t take any more credit than I already clearly deserve.  The Holes scoring so many points indicates either a) his team is getting hot at the right time, or b) they blew their load and now they’re going to crap out in the semifinals.  The San Dimas had a great regular season that just seemed to sputter a bit at the end of the year. 

Previews for the Semi-Finals

(7) The Glory Holes vs. (6) Low Blows

This is almost comedic.  Both teams are going to need repeat performances from their studs to move on.  Bush is really coming on for the Holes, as is Young, but if Rofflecopter can carry some points like he did last week this could be a dandy of a game.

Prediction:  Glory Holes 85, Low Blows 78

(8 ) Greendevils vs. (5) Housecats

I’m calling an upset special here.  Leinart will get points against a flopping Denver, and Gore will do the same against Seattle.  Housecats still seem weak at RB despite the ridiculous performance last week of Jones-Drew.  The Cinderella Greendevils will make the finals.  Can you imagine—both lowest rated seeds making the finals?

Prediction:  Greendevils 88, Housecats 83

I'm clearly rooting for a 7 vs. 8 matchup in the finals.  It would only be a fitting end to this season, and make writing this column every week much easier.

Now to the lmao consolation lmao playoffs.

Well, the big boys finally get a chance to back up all that yackin’ they’ve been doing.  I see the Killer Dolphins going up against Team Deception for the lmao consolation lmao finals. 

Well there it is folks.  The league is finishing in just about as dramatic fashion as can be imagined.  Think about this—if Greendevils win it all they will do so with a losing record.  Everyone party up then get some rest in--it's gonna be wild!