Total of 257 user reviews spread across 257 releases
Super Meat Boy
Now, that time of the month is all the time!
While I do tend to talk a fair share about video games to the people in my life, I try to skew the conversation towards the interests of said person. My macho-would-be-tough-guy friends will hear abou...
Give your menu screen a hug.
I feel like every time I've talked to someone I know about my experience playing Fable 3, the net result is the receiver of my discussion being turned off on Fable 3. This might be because it's hard t...
Kirby's Epic Yarn
Smile like you mean it.
Kirby's Epic Yarn is the game I want to throw back at the guys that used to make fun of my Nintendo 64 back in school. The big, machismo-fueled tough guys (that were guidoing it up well before Jersey ...
From our sugar-addled youth...
As I was doling out candy to the assorted door-to-door treasure hunters last Halloween, I began to wonder about today's generation of costumed kids. Do they go through the same dilemmas we did? Do the...
Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I
Sonic's deforestation project.
As the 26th Sonic game released, Sonic the Hedgehog 4 aims to numerically confuse the world. It also aims to address just about any and every complaint levied at the series since the existence of poly...
Sid Meier's Civilization V
World domination, brotha.
Part of me felt confused when I caught wind that Civilization 5 would present a more streamlined experience than in the past. I never thought that the original Civilization games were particularly com...
The fourth or fifth other M.
Meet the Other M in my recent life. ModNation Racers. I feel like I've been putting off giving this peculiar racing game the time it deserves on account of the recently released and comically-named M...
Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions
Does whatever a Kratos can.
So many comic book characters have been around for so long that they have undergone numerous reboots and reinventions in the name of relevance. (Or in the name of creating an excuse to retell the Gr...
Metroid: Other M
I mean, damn!
I'd like to take a second to prove something. Remember how great Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox was? Remember the plot to Ninja Gaiden on the Xbox? No? Point proven. I feel like Team Ninja has had this prob...
Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light
A sore spot on my neck from Lara Croft. Maybe a hickey.
So I was in the Best Buy parking lot talking with my brother about things that brothers are want to talk about. Important issues included women, cell phones, the revelation of a secret mission in Star...
Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Game
Cross-promotional Greater Toronto Ransom
First, some cleaning notes. I had twice planned to see the Scott Pilgrim Versus the World movie over this weekend but my friend twice vanished on me. Maybe things work a little differently in her nati...
Madden NFL 11
Teach a man to fish...
There exists an impenetrable wall, 52 1/3 feet tall, that keeps me from figuring out sports games. I can't quite comprehend the wall's existence, or who built the wall (probably John Madden himself), ...
Monday Night Combat
Post-apocalyptic future night's alright for fighting
The Summer of Arcade has certainly simmered down, as there exists a real lack of excitement over the impending releases in my mind. Maybe we peaked early with the semi-avant-garde Limbo, and are now r...
Castlevania: Harmony of Despair
Overdosing on loot and Somas (Cruz)
I've spent the last few days indulging in Harmony of Despair and I'm still not exactly certain what exactly Harmony of Despair is trying to be. Is it supposed to be a Diablonian gear-driven fire sale?...
Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty
The Fabulous Freebirds.
Maybe my brain functions a little differently from the rest of the world, but I always find the hardest part of writing reviews to be the introductory paragraph. I know what I don't want to do with my...
Revenge power fantasy arcade machine sex
Here is a common scenario that aspiring electronic video gamers can look forward to upon booting up Bayonetta. The player, a leather-clad witch of abnormal height, will leap across the screen doing ba...
Your mind is the scene of the crime.
Inception is a 2010 Hollywood movie directed by Christopher Nolan (most famous for the 2002 film Insomnia, of course) with Leonardo Dicaprio and a band of dream invaders. They're on a mission to…and y...
It's the power of love, MFers.
Braid was a 2008 release starring a self-loathing British stalker capable of using the powers of Shame and Regret to manipulate time in unsavory fashions. All of this may or may not have been a metaph...
For all of paddlekind.
Being that the calendar for July comprises of such hotly anticipated storewide releases as "Starcraft 2" and "jack all else", I figure that now is a good time to redirect my attention to the downloada...
Will somebody think of the children? No? Okay.
Deathspank flows through the system like a combination of mixed drugs. It's a video game speedball; the mixture of coke and heroine that killed your favorite actors and musicians. In my case, the inje...
The world as dictated by the almighty dice.
I guess if you were going to update any board game for the console market, it may as well be Risk. It's not that online renditions of Kerplunk or Hungry Hungry Hippos couldn't work (actually, they pro...
Transformers: War for Cybertron
Megatron takes an anti-life stance.
So I vaguely remember that last year, I thinking that Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was not half-bad. Before you shut the monitor off in disgust and declare me the world's biggest nitwit failure...
Tsumi to Batsu: Uchuu no Koukeisha
The end level boss Comeback Tour continues.
It's almost an authentic feel-good story. The original Sin and Punishment, never officially released in North America, becoming an underground favorite amongst importers and people making more cash th...
God of War III
Kratos nails the world.
Previously on God of War, things passed away. That's as apt a summation of the series as I can think of. Greek mythology, when not toned down for Saturday afternoon children's cartoons or big budget H...
The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Why you never give the people what they truly want.
So there's this young, scrapping lad with modest beginnings. He comes from some kind of small village, possibly located in the woods. If he doesn't already have an affinity for green garb, he'll be to...
Super Mario Galaxy 2
Mario back in the sky with diamonds
Previously, I had suggested that the secret to Super Mario Galaxy's success was attributed to Nintendo programmers undergoing some extra-curricular activities. After all, who but the users of the most...
Super Mario Galaxy
Mario in the sky with diamonds
For the longest time, it seemed like something was amiss from Mario games. I would argue that it has been at least a decade since this "it factor" vanished. The product of this missing "it factor" was...
3D Dot Game Heroes
What'cha gonna do when the hero of destiny runs wild on you?
I felt so hardcore buying 3D Dot Game Heroes. I walked into two different Gamestops, on three different occasions, asking for this title, and none of the store clerks ever heard of the name. My e-peni...
UFC Undisputed 2010
The video game debut and retirement of Kimbo Slice.
Once upon a time there was a little boy in Las Vegas named Dana, and this boy had great dreams. "One day, I'm going to be the bravest bald man alive. And god do I hate that Tito kid!" So he worked, an...
Red Dead Redemption
No Country for Dumb Men
Red Dead Revolver was a modest action-shooter-game-thingy released on last generation's consoles in 2004. I'd best describe it as an unorthodox spaghetti-western game with strange controls and a cast ...
Final Fantasy XIII
How Final Fantasy 13 improved my life.
Final Fantasy 13 has had a highly positive effect on my life. I found myself studying more diligently for finals, effectively boosting my grades to honour-roll levels. I spend more time exercising, s...
Iron Man 2
Rushed out of the production line.
It's not morally ethical to mock death, it seems. Even if it sounds ridiculous to hear of someone passing on for licking a lightning rod, there's still the tragedy that a human lost life, so I don't k...
Super Street Fighter IV
It's like Street Fighter 4 but more super. Makes sense.
Super Street Fighter 4 is Street Fighter 4 with more characters and things. Review done, goodnight everybody. ………………………………………………………….. Truth be told, Super Street Fighter 4 is the kind of game w...
Final Fight: Double Impact
Two strange tastes that taste strange together.
Final Fight: Double Impact is an unlikely combination of two arcade releases from the early 90s, bundled together in a nifty little $10 value package. Though it's hard to not feel like there is a sens...
You kind of have to play for yourself, to experience the motion-controlled diaper changing.
All that is old is new again. A game comprised entirely of quick-time events (a concept that hasn't been funky fly since Shenmue) combined with the hunt for a Jigsaw-like killer (imitating a movie tha...
The caves are filled with treasures of gold (and text.)
I once knew an emotionally unstable young lady that was very much into anime conventions, the dress-up that comes with them, and fan-fiction. She was the kind of person that wrote volumes worth of fan...
Sonic the Hedgehog 3
Remember when you could count the number of main characters in a Sonic game on one hand?
Sonic the Hedgehog is a game about a blue, personified rodent that runs from the left side of the screen to the right side of the screen in a relatively hasty manner. Sometimes, he likes to mix things...
Mega Man 10
Mega Man battles the H1N1 pandemic
Mega Man 10 is a rather ironic release. Ironic in the sense that it's the direct sequel to a game most known for abandoning every gameplay change, new plot direction and franchise reimagining done to ...
Dante's Inferno: Shinkyoku Jigoku-Hen
Trapped in purgatory.
First and foremost, if you are an avid fan of The Divine Comedy, you are going to hate what EA has done to their Dante's Inferno game. It is as blistered and altered and transformed from the original ...
Bioshock 2: Bio Harder
Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom under the sea. All kinds of exotic jellyfish and coral reefs occupied this kingdom to greet the citizens, all of which had magical powers. The king of this...