Why is your character pink?

User Rating: 1 | Predator NES
Warning: The opinions expressed in the following review are NOT endorsed by anyone at Gamespot or any professional reviewer. I'm not paid for my reviews and I do them for fun. They may contain: Foul Language, Violence, references to farts, A lot of references to the word "Poo" totally bodily function loss, or possibly the total collapse of civilization as we know. Oh also reading these reviews you may feel the need to toss a Midget or start a Midget fight. There is a longer list of things that could happen but I don't feel like posting them here. You have been Warned.

Learning Curve: 30 Minutes

Score: 1 out of 10

Don't you just love how games that are based on a movie so often go against what the movie was about? Let's take Predator for example here you have a game that was suppose to be based on the movie and look how bad they **** up, ok first off you look at the cover and it shows Arnold holding a game like the one he had in the movie so this is the first thing to lead people astray you don't start off with the gun, that's right you don't get your gun right away. Now your going to ask, "How can that be possible he had the gun in the beginning of the move." Your right he did so he should have in this game but the game makers thought "Hell lets just **** with the continuity of the movie, after all it's just stupid game players that are buying this." So you don't get a gun till level 3 I'll bring up more about that in a second I must point out something that was brought up by fellow game reviewer Chris Bores, don't you just love how they made Arnold look pink in this game? What's up with that in the movie his clothing and paint was dark like it always is in the army so how could they **** up with something like this? It wasn't a minor mistake either they made him bright PINK! Ok now onto the weapons the first one I'll talk about is the old favorite Grenades, but wait what's this? they aren't called Grenades in this game nope. They are called Pine, as in Pine Cones now I've heard that reason was that because in the army in the battlefields Grenades aren't referred to as that but Pines. DO I LOOK LIKE I'M IN THE ****ING ARMY? No I don't, I prefer my weapons having the name they are given in real life. Also look how crappy they explode they blow up like they do in the Bomber man games which is a pattern like a cross it. Don't try to use it against enemies it's more a ass burner than a helper. Now onto the gun in Level three it isn't a normal gun like what Arnold had it's a ...... LASER GUN When the hell did Arnold have a Laser gun in the movie? Was this a deleted scene, I went to my huge movie collection just to find out and guess what? THERE WERE NO FREAKING DELETED SCENES WITH ARNOLD HOLDING A ****ING LASER GUN, That's right it's just another way to mutilate a game based on a movie. Now you get to the predator on level 3 if I remember and it's in pastel colors and about as bright as our dear pink friend Arnold what the **** is up with that? well you beat him and he falls off the screen. A lot of people have said that there are 10 predators in this game I would like to think that it's just the same one reappearing over and over again I hope it's that just so they didn't **** with the story anymore than they already have. I'm getting tired of giving this game so much attention so I'll speed up this review and now onto the end. You get to level 30, that's right there are ****ing 30 levels to this game and when you get to the boss it's ....... (dramatic pause) A Floating Head Ala Friday the 13th although it looks like the predator so you have to beat this thing twice than you beat the ****ing game. Now onto something just prior to posting this I played the game again with my cousin mike over to get afew notes for this review and he showed me something if you look to the upper left on the first level when you first spawn you can get the machine gun.....THATS ****ING RIGHT THEY GAVE YOU A CHANCE TO GET A GUN, all you had to do was grab it, I thought it was just something in the background so I never grabbed it. So for this game sucking so much and stuff blending into the background not including the crappy walls on level 3 I give this game a 1 out of 10, now if you don't mind I'm going to get drunk and forget I even own this game.