Lightweight Ninja Review

There's really nothing to Lightweight Ninja aside from running, jumping, picking up items, and occasionally shooting an enemy.

Stardock's Drengin.net game division already released an excellent strategy game, The Corporate Machine, earlier this year--and both The Corporate Machine and Lightweight Ninja are part of the company's subscription package, which includes five games for $49.95. But as part of the package, Lightweight Ninja is just that: lightweight. The game, which is the first episode in a series, currently comes with just nine short levels, and although the company will release more levels for download on its Web site, they probably won't be worth the bother if the game's prepackaged levels are any indication. That's because Lightweight Ninja is a dated 2D side-scrolling platform-action PC game that doesn't let you do anything other than run, jump, pick up little items, occasionally shoot cute cartoon enemies, and run some more.

It's a simple platform game starring a sneering, blonde-haired ninja.
It's a simple platform game starring a sneering, blonde-haired ninja.

If you're familiar with the classic 8-bit and 16-bit side-scrolling action games on consoles such as the NES, the SNES, and the Sega Genesis, you'll probably feel instantly familiar with Lightweight Ninja's gameplay and controls. You play as Ty, a boy ninja who explores 2D areas by running and jumping through them. Ty must also avoid or shoot his enemies. These enemies include angry squirrels that toss apples at him, gangly robots that huff and puff their way across the screen, and kittens that are wrapped in thorns, for some reason--and Ty may stop these with weapons such as acorns, paper airplanes, and throwing knives. Along the way, he picks up gems (which are worth bonus points and extra lives), health items, and weapon ammunition--all with a speedy gait that resembles that of Sega's Sonic the Hedgehog character, except slower. But Sonic the Hedgehog made his debut about 10 years ago--and in a much more interesting game.

In fact, there's really nothing to Lightweight Ninja aside from running, jumping, picking up items, and occasionally shooting an enemy. Other than the small but noticeable float on Ty's jumps, the game's controls are fairly responsive--but you don't really need them to do much, anyway. You can run through a level, picking up gems for extra points and hunting down the midlevel checkpoints (a drooping sunflower that perks up as you pass it) if you want. But you don't really have to; all you really need to do is get from the beginning of the level to the end within each level's generous time limit. And aside from the fact that Lightweight Ninja's levels aren't really challenging at all, the game has a convenient save-anywhere feature that basically makes extra lives meaningless. If you die, you can simply reload your last saved game--but not that you'll really need to. The nine prepackaged levels that come with the game aren't particularly long or challenging, don't have any real secret areas to hunt for on your second or third time around a level, and don't even feature any tough boss enemies to fight.

Lightweight Ninja at least looks and sounds a bit better than it plays. The entire game--including the speedy Ty, each level he explores, and the between-level cutscenes--has a fairly well-animated cartoon look to it that is extremely plain but is at least colorful and consistent. Likewise, the game's music is extremely simplistic, and since there are only a few tracks included in the retail game, they repeat across the different levels--and you probably won't even notice. The game's sound effects are also largely forgettable.

Lightweight Ninja is better suited for younger audiences.
Lightweight Ninja is better suited for younger audiences.

Lightweight Ninja actually has some sort of story, though this story has little or no bearing on how the game itself plays. Ty is a highly trained superninja who's been treated with an experimental "lightweight" chemical that helps make him the deadly assassin he's apparently supposed to be. And he's been given a mission by his trainers to defeat an evil old man who's the head of a rival company. None of that really seems to explain why your short, sneering ninja character would throw an acorn at a thorn-covered kitten--or why the thorn-covered kitten would then let out a small "meow" and, in a puff of smoke, become a regular kitten.

If Lightweight Ninja sounds like a game for very young children, it's because it is. You can see this in the game's completely nonviolent content, its simple, unchallenging gameplay, its cartoon characters, and its main character--a "cute" ninja with "attitude," reminiscent of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles characters that were so popular in the late '80s and '90s--but without the ninja turtles or the '80s and '90s. Lightweight Ninja's appearance isn't the only outdated thing about the game--even though the genre's never been popular on the PC, independent developers have been making better, more interesting 2D platform-action games for the PC for years. As such, if you happen to be a very, very young child, and your parents are trying to distract you with a nonviolent game for short periods of time, you might actually enjoy Lightweight Ninja. Otherwise, you'll probably find Lightweight Ninja's simple, unchallenging gameplay pointless and its initial nine episodes too short.

The Good

  • N/A

The Bad