It could be better, but at €3.99 you won't kick yourself too hard if you end up being disappointed.
There's something to be said about PSP Minis, but nothing comes to mind… Probably because they're not really supposed to invoke much thought from the average human being, or emotional investment, though I sometimes wish designers of such games would put more of the latter in their work. Bloons isn't a bad, but I could be better.
The premise of Hands-On's latest marvel is to pop balloons. The game is reminiscent of many similar projectile strategy/puzzlers where players select an angle and projectile force to get desired results. This would have been a winning formula for a Mini title, had it not been a rather skinny port from a free web-based flash (and mobile) game, though as it stands it's more or less worth the €3.99 price tag (it's still not out on the American PlayStation Network).
The objective here is to pop as many balloons using a limited amount of darts and various objects (bouncy bricks, not-bouncy bricks, mines that cause chain reactions). A monkey does the throwing -- a rather ugly monkey to be exact -- before a Chinese mountain range. We can only assume the mountains are indigenous to China by fault of their design, so I guess the monkey is there to put the rather dingy graphics into context (or maybe I'm just trying to give the game too much credit).
At first glance levels seem overly simplistic, then as things progress we are treated to ever more complicated stages that include various pickups and environmental obstacles. My personal favorites are the trampolines that bounce your darts. There's nothing better than monkeys throwing darts, unless of course you add trampolines into the picture, then you have ****c hilarity (well, no, not really, but bouncy things are mesmerizing).
Some levels are open-ended in that players can use whatever means to clear the screen, and by "means" I'm referring to throwing your projectiles in different directions. Others levels require a specific throwing pattern to succeed. Both will give players their share of easy and gosh-darn hard moments. Fortunately, Hands-On designed Bloons to be brain-dead easy to pick up and play, with little to no load screens and fast retries if you fail popping the required balloon count with the allotted darts.
Some critics have complained about the game's button controls on the PSP. Seriously people, stop looking for flaws where there are none. The game uses one freakin' button and the D-Pad with plenty of controller variations. I personally like the handheld scheme better. The online version uses timing to determine the strength of each shot whereas the PSP version lets you select and keep the force for as long as you wish -- it's more convenient when you miss. The online version (available for free on www.ninjakiwi.com) has smoother angles though. This isn't a PSP problem, but a designers-not-taking-the-time problem.
The object here isn't to progress or experience any kind of "story" but to have fun. There are no tournaments, missions or adventures tacked-on that don't amount to much in gameplay terms, other than wasting our time with pointless screens and menus. In Bloons you simply load and pop. And stare at an ugly monkey.
My main beef with the game is that it feels too web-based despite its internet counterpart having smoother controls and better level designs. It also doesn't have that sparkly feel of other PSP Minis, like Tetris. I'm sure players can even play the online version using their handheld's internet connection (after a bit of homebrewing to get all the required plugins to properly run the mess that is the internet on the PSP).
Bloons doesn't need to be a gorgeous game, but the PSP has the hardware to make it look and play like it does online. The Mini has drab menus, lame backgrounds, flat effects and missing dazzle. They could have also added a few more game modes. NinjaKiwi.com offers more variations of Bloons so the omission of modes like "Match-Three" is suspicious at best (get ready to see it as a separate Mini). And they could have at least not designed their monkey after some discarded plush toy. Seriously, that thing looks like Mr. Burns' teddy bear, Bobo.
So what does Bloons have going for it? Certainly not the music; that one song gets on your nerves after the first couple of minutes (there's no option to mute it, unlike its counterpart on Ninja Kiwi's site). The appeal is the popping, of course. It's fun… most of the time, as some levels require random trial and error, and objects don't necessarily behave as expected, especially the rubber blocks. Occasionally your darts will pass right through them or take a weird bounce. Still, the game is mildly entertaining. It's interesting how much one can do with half a dozen objects and a 2D plane.
Speaking of which, the game also comes with a Level Editor. The editor takes a few minutes to get used to and presents an effective time-waster. After 10 minutes players can design levels on par with the official stuff. But something about it is unsettling… Ah, yes, playing your own levels is as lame as outdoor D&D, meaning it's only "cool" as long as there's none one around to see you do it. Seriously, without content sharing, what's the point?
Don't mind the score; overall Bloons isn't THAT bad. It might be ugly, plain, sometimes boring, but it's fun, though not as fun as its online versions. Regardless, in a matter of seconds your ugly monkey will be throwing darts like it's exacting some sort of Globophobic genocide. If you have €3.99 to blow, it might be worth getting, just don't expect much.
GRAPHICS 55
Boring backgrounds: - 10 points. Flat effects: - 10 points. Very webie look despite the PSP's potential: -25 points. Ugly monkey that looks like Mr. Burn's lost childhood: priceless (ok, he grew on me).
GAMEPLAY 75
Popping balloons is fun. Levels get increasingly difficult, with the occasional feel-good stage interspersing some of the harder parts. Not enough modes (only 1!) so Hand-On got greedy/lazy here.
PRODUCTION 30
Boring menus, no setting, no setup, limited options. After the anesthetic wore off the developers just wanted to kick this animal out of the cage so it could run and frolic with the rest of the Minis.
SOUND 40
GET OUT OF MY HEAD DAMN SONG!!!
LASTING APPEAL 70
Took me about an hour and a half to pass level fifty and the darts are still flying. The editor is sort of fun, but you can't share your creations with the world, so what's the point?
OVERALL SCORE 54
Fun factor: Fun
Worth to: Rent (or in this case, think twice)
