1. Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire

Synopsis

Homer, Marge, and Maggie Simpson attend Bart and Lisa's Christmas pageant at Springfield Elementary. At home, Marge asks the children what they want for Christmas and Bart asks for a tattoo. When Marge, Bart, and Lisa go Christmas shopping the next day, Bart sneaks away and starts getting a tattoo reading "Mother". Discovering this, Marge interrupts the process at "Moth" and immediately takes him to a laser removal clinic and spends the family's Christmas money getting Bart's tattoo removed. Meanwhile, at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Homer learns that he will not be getting a Christmas bonus.

When Homer returns home and hears about the loss of the Christmas money, he decides not to tell Marge his bad news. Instead, he does the shopping himself, buying cheap presents from a dollar store. At Moe's Tavern, Homer meets Barney dressed in a Santa outfit. On Barney's advice, he secretly takes a job as a mall Santa. Bart discovers his secret after he rips off his fake beard on a dare by his friend Milhouse, but agrees not to tell the rest of the family.

Homer receives his paycheck and is dismayed to see it is only for $13. Barney, who has received a check for the same amount, suggests betting it at the dog track. With encouragement from Bart, Homer decides to gamble his paycheck and takes Bart with him to the dog track. Although Barney recommended they bet on a dog named Whirlwind, Homer decides to bet on a last-second entrant named Santa's Little Helper, believing it to be a sign. Santa's Little Helper, however, comes in dead last (supposedly for the 25th time) and his owner abandons him. The dog follows Homer and Bart, who decide to keep him. When they return home, Homer is going to tell his family about his misfortune, but they think he brought the dog as a gift and everyone has a merry Christmas.

3. Homer's Odyssey

Synopsis

The episode starts by having Bart's school going on a field trip to the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. On the bus, Bart must sit next to Wendell, a child who has very horrible motion sickness. Bart's teacher gives him warnings about moaning about this, and Bart is told, if he makes one more outburst, he will be forced to sing in front of the school Sherri and Terri, two schoolchildren sitting behind Bart, both kiss him, forcing him to yell out, and causing Bart to be forced to sing. When the school arrives, Bart slaps Wendell on the back and congratulates him on not throwing up, and Wendell pukes.

The school enters the power plant, and are met by Smithers, who shows them a video on Nuclear Energy. After the video, Smithers takes them into a working sector, where Blinky, the three eyed fish, is seen in a stream outside of the plant. As the school is walking through the plant, they see Homer, who causes an accident by waving to Bart. Homer is then fired for the accident.

Unable to find a job, Homer sees a commercial for Duff beer. When there is no beer in the fridge (and Moe refuses to put one in Homer's tab), Homer breaks Bart's piggy bank, only to realize what a monster he has become (and that the piggy bank didn't have enough money for a beer). He decides to commit suicide, as he believes the family would be better off without him. He writes a final letter and begins to carry a large boulder to a lake. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa wake up and inform Marge that they have been robbed. Later realizing Homer is gone, the family goes out to the lake, where they see Homer about to kill himself. When they all step into a street, a car almost kills them, but Homer saves them by pushing the entire family out of the way of the oncoming car. Homer realizes he cares not only for the safety of his family, but the safety of the public as well.

5. Bart The General

Synopsis

Lisa bakes a batch of cupcakes for her teacher and Bart demands one. She says no, and Bart calls her a butt kisser. After an apology on the school bus, Lisa gives Bart the cupcake she dropped on the floor when the bus jolted, and he eats it none the wiser. When they get off the bus, Lisa's cupcakes are snatched by one of Nelson Muntz's buddies, when she was going to offer her friend Janie (Lisa's Friend) one, after Bart asks for them back, stomps on them. Bart jumps at the kid and tries to subdue him, but to no effect. Nelson shows up and holds Bart up by his neck, questioning his bravery. Bart persists to struggle and accidentally hits Nelson on the nose which makes him start bleeding. After, Bart attempts to shrug it all off, but is treated as a hero. After school, Nelson and his buddies beat Bart to a bloody pulp and dump him into a trash can, which he then rolls down a hill, stopping at his front door and vomiting out his hat.

At home, Bart goes into the bathtub and Homer comes in, blasting a hair dryer into his face to dry his tears. Bart tells Homer and Marge about the bully, and Homer advises Bart to fight dirty, while Marge suggests that he tell Principal Skinner. Homer pressures Bart to fight, while Marge suggests reasoning with Nelson. Bart chooses Homer's advice, and he has Bart face a punching bag. Disapproving of Bart's fighting skills, Homer jumps on top of the bag and shakes it around in an attempt to beat it up, going as far as biting a piece off, while Bart looks on. Homer then reassures Bart that he should "fight dirty," saying that it is okay every now and then. Bart confronts Nelson and at first throws mud in his eyes which enrages Nelson. Bart tries to fight but is once again, mauled by Nelson. This time, he turns to the toughest member of the Simpson family, Grampa Simpson, as suggested by Lisa.

Grampa introduces Bart to Herman, a veteran who runs an army surplus store. Herman declares war on Nelson and instructs Bart on a full-assault strategy, while Bart thinks Herman is crazy. Bart gathers other kids from school who have been traumatized by Nelson and enlists them as troops. After a long training program, the troops go marching one by one. Cornering Nelson and his buddies, they start firing numbers of water balloons. Terrorized, the buddies surrender. Nelson is taken prisoner, but he threatens to kill Bart as soon as he is released, and Bart will have to untie him sometime. So afterwards, Herman drafts an armistice, which Bart and Nelson agree to sign. Marge enters with cupcakes, and peace prevails. The episode ends with a disclaimer Bart gives about reasons of why wars, with the exceptions of the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy, are never justified.

7. The Call Of The Simpsons

Synopsis

Homer is envious of Ned Flanders's new RV and goes to Bob's RV Round-Up to buy one of his own. The sly con-man Cowboy Bob tells Homer that because of his poor credit, he only qualifies for a second hand, dilapidated RV. Thrilled with the new RV, Homer takes his family on an excursion. After seeing the gridlock on the freeway, he decides to take a shortcut through the Springfield forest. Marge tells him the road is getting bumpy and that they should retreat, but he tells his family not to worry and then starts speeding. The family, afraid that they might crash, screams at him to stop. He hits the brake and comes to an abrupt halt at the edge of a huge gorge. With the RV tilting back and forth at the edge, the family slowly creeps out of it just before it plummets into the abyss and explodes.

Stranded in the wilderness, Homer and Bart leave Marge and Lisa at the camping place while they set out to search for civilization, unaware that baby Maggie is tagging along. As they stroll through the woods, they hear a noise and assume it is a rattlesnake, when it is actually Maggie behind them sucking on her pacifier, and they run away. Separated from Homer and Bart, Maggie is soon adopted by a family of grizzly bears. While looking for food, Homer and Bart fall into a fast-moving river and they lose their clothes. To hide their intimate parts, they use plants and mud to cover themselves. Homer finds a bee hive and digs his hand inside it to get the honey out of it, but instead gets bombarded by bees and he flees in the direction of water, which turns out to be thick mud. Homer emerges from the brown goop and, due to the bee stings, mumbles like an animal at a nearby nature photographer for help. Mistaking Homer for Bigfoot, the man takes a picture and flees. Soon the forest is infested with Bigfoot hunters. Reporters find Marge and Lisa and warn them about the hideous creature roaming the woods. When she sees the picture of Homer, Marge identifies the monster as her husband and tries to clear up the misunderstanding, but the authorities now think that she is married to Bigfoot.

9. Life On The Fast Lane

Synopsis

It is Marge's 34th birthday, and her gifts include a gallon of cheap "French" perfume from Bart and a homemade macaroni-and-glue card from Lisa. However, Homer has completely forgotten about the date. He quickly leaves to go to the Springfield Mall to buy Marge a last-minute gift and impulsively settles on an expensive bowling ball. The birthday party takes place at the Singing Sirloin, a restaurant featuring singing waiters, recommended by Patty and Selma. Marge is highly insulted that her primary "gift" is something Homer selfishly wants for his own use, even going to the extent of having the ball engraved with his name and having the holes drilled for his fingers. To spite him, Marge decides to keep it and use it anyway.

Marge goes bowling for the first time ever, but is unsuccessful. At the bowling alley she meets Jacques, a handsome French bowling instructor in the next lane, who offers her bowling lessons. She finds in Jacques a sensitive and charming man, nearly the exact opposite of Homer. After one "lesson", Jacques invites her to have brunch with him. Although she feels guilty, she agrees.

On their brunch date they encounter Helen Lovejoy, a known gossip who speculates about what Marge is doing having brunch with a man who is not her husband. Jacques assures her that it is merely a bowling lesson. However, when Helen is out of earshot, Jacques invites Marge to his apartment. Marge accepts the invitation, but has a moral dilemma en route. She reaches a fork in the road, one direction leading to Jacques' apartment, the other to the Springfield Nuclear Plant where Homer is working. After much deliberation, she proceeds to the plant, where she tells Homer she loves him. Homer happily leaves work with Marge in his arms.