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tiffie

Level 11
Atomic Punk
Posts: 894

Feb 19, 2007 6:12 pm PT

BTW, this will only stay up for a week, then I'm taking it down, so please read it while it's up.

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saxy56
Level 12
Rad Racer
Posts: 753

Feb 19, 2007 7:53 pm PT

great prologue..and i am chatting on MSN with u right now

the war might be over, but my soldiers stay eternal - Tupac R.I.P

If I needed someone to control me, if I needed someone to hold me down i would change my direction and save myself before I drown -- Three Days Grace

darth_trevhat
Level 14
Ring King
Posts: 895

Feb 19, 2007 8:05 pm PT

WOW- is all I'm gonna say here 'cause I already told ya what I think!

".... I want a lawyer..."- Bart
".... and I want a ponytail- disapointment abound!"-Lex
".... and why are my images all wonky?"- Darth trevhat

saxy56
Level 12
Rad Racer
Posts: 753

Feb 19, 2007 8:17 pm PT

and i was there

the war might be over, but my soldiers stay eternal - Tupac R.I.P

If I needed someone to control me, if I needed someone to hold me down i would change my direction and save myself before I drown -- Three Days Grace

mccavour69
Level 31
Ippon!
Posts: 6222

Feb 20, 2007 3:48 pm PT

thats a fantastic prologue, good job tiffie

Princess-peach
Level 49
Kidd Thunder !!
Posts: 58454

Feb 20, 2007 3:58 pm PT

Great description totally

Much love to cousin_eddy, The thinking man's puDDing

Gizmyle
Level 17
Minus World
Posts: 527

Feb 21, 2007 12:38 am PT

That's incredible. Took me right into the storie. I liked how you made the forest alive.

BTW, "Onto her
feet she rose unsteadily."? What does it mean? It sounds like something coming out of Yoda's mouth >_

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tiffie

Level 11
Atomic Punk
Posts: 894

Feb 21, 2007 7:06 am PT

Gizmyle wrote:

Hmm, was a sentence I wrote. Maybe a bit of the poet coming out in me... I'll think about revising it...

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Gizmyle
Level 17
Minus World
Posts: 527

Feb 21, 2007 11:59 am PT

Very poetish

Don't take it the wrong way, I just didn't understand it at first >_

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tiffie

Level 11
Atomic Punk
Posts: 894

Feb 21, 2007 7:47 pm PT

Saxy, please PLEASE stop posting nonsense in my thread. I'm looking for constructive criticism, not a discussion on yoda.

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mccavour69
Level 31
Ippon!
Posts: 6222

Feb 21, 2007 7:57 pm PT

saxy and revolutionfreak, i deleted your posts because you were taking this topic too off-topic, we are supposed to be helping with and commenting on tiffie's prologue, not talking about yoda

wanderingblade
Level 22
Blaster Master
Posts: 686

Feb 22, 2007 3:10 pm PT

Very nice, I liked it!

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psychojakrabbit
Level 22
Blaster Master
Posts: 3945

Feb 23, 2007 7:54 am PT

Very intriguing, so many questions come to mind. Who was she? What is this Institute and why was she there? How many others are there like her? Very life like in it's depiction of her flight to freedom. It instills a sense of wonder and sadness when her time has expired. I really loved it, and am curious to know more about the Institute and its inhabits.

somaslayer
Level 18
Flicky
Posts: 1542

Feb 23, 2007 3:01 pm PT

That's pretty good. Hope you can post more.

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