PAX '07: Uwe Boll publicizes Postal, plays blame game

Controversial filmmaker makes a surprise appearance to trumpet his latest movie; says lackluster game plots are the reason his game-to-film adaptations aren't critically well-received.

SEATTLE--As the first of several planned Q&A sessions with Penny Arcade founders Jerry Holkins and Mike Krahulik wound down, the duo announced that they had a very special guest to toss to the lions of this year's Penny Arcade Expo. While the team said they had initially planned to offer up very special guest Jack Thompson to provide a counterpoint to the day's offerings, Holkins dejectedly revealed that they could not work out an agreement with the controversial Florida lawyer. With that intro, his stead took the stage, and it turned out to be none other than widely reviled game-to-film adaptation specialist Uwe Boll.

Uwe, in the flesh.

Director of such roundly panned game-to-film adaptations as BloodRayne and Alone in the Dark, Boll took to the stage to trumpet his latest artistry, Postal. Though the filmmaker's presence initially stunned the crowd, who were in extremely jovial spirits following the aforementioned Penny Arcade Q&A, many quickly regained their senses and made a mass exodus in protest.

However, many more hung around to get their first look at Postal, a reel of which Boll was quick to run. The preview began inside the cockpit of one of the fated aircraft destined for the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001. After patting themselves on the back for a job well done, two terrorists get into a heated debate regarding the exact number of virgins promised to them in the afterlife. At which point they call up Osama bin Laden, who kindly informs them that it will be "20." Case closed.

The scene then transitions to what appeared to be a Department of Motor Vehicles office. Within, a disgruntled individual forced to give up his spot in line due to inaccurate paperwork begins to shoot up the place, as attendants passively look on behind their shield of bulletproof glass. After some hammy dialogue about the world needing to come together in unity by filling their hands with hugs and not guns, the screening ended.

According to Boll, the film is designed to be a parody of the current political climate that, in his view, is defined by religious extremists on all sides. He also hopes that the film will help break the taboo of referencing 9/11, as well as promote healing on the subject through humor. He feels that it is his best work yet, primarily because he has put a lot more effort into this script than in films prior.

After Boll's explanation of the film, several conventiongoers stepped up to the Q&A mic to launch acerbic insults at the self-styled auteur, as well as ask a few genuine questions. In response to several questions that essentially distilled to, "Why do you keep making bad movies?" Uwe offered several explanations.

First, Boll said that the stories in his films are lacking due to the fact that his source material isn't good to begin with, offering up House of the Dead as an example. He went on to say that Sega had approved the film's script, and that it ended up making $80 million worldwide, yet only took about $7 million to make.

Boll also claimed that because his movies continue to make money, they are therefore a success. In the case of BloodRayne, he said that the movie diverged from the game so drastically because it was intended to be a trilogy. As such, he wanted to fill in backstory for the character with the first installment.

Boll concluded his appearance by simply stating, "I go my own way, I'm not going with the system."

691 Comments

  • Keirnzyboy

    Posted Oct 5, 2009 6:47 pm PT

    I'm sorry but that man is a waste of life. Sooo fail!

  • colts99

    Posted Sep 28, 2008 12:09 am PT

    Uwe Boll eh?

  • gangsterjc

    Posted Jul 18, 2008 12:14 pm PT

    your really think im guna buy the movie for the movie? nooo i I WANT THE POSTAL 2 GAME INSIDE!

  • feartrain999

    Posted Jun 29, 2008 1:54 pm PT

    I really think the movie industry should start investing their money into something else; You would think they would of by now, or at least 3 Uwe Boll films ago... (Of course I don't exactly know how the 'complete' movie industry process works)

    Then they can tell him, "Now you can do it ALL your own way Uwe, and not with our stupid system... Since your bad movies seems to be everyone else's fault, maybe it's time you just make them for you and get a good review finally."

    Also, to the guy that made the comment about Uwe being an idiot cause he made the Alone in the Dark movie before the game released... Are you serious!? I really, really, REALLY hope your 9 years old man... Serious.

  • XRockStarDaveX

    Posted May 28, 2008 9:55 am PT

    I'll just kill you with the master sword. you need to take the hint H..I..N...T you CANT MAKE MOIVES!!!

  • kanharn

    Posted Feb 26, 2008 5:19 am PT

    Get a job your good at Boll, Everything you direct turns to rubbish, Now you blame the games, Its funny, all these games made millions of pounds and yet your films lose money. Now you want to F**k up classics like Alone in the Dark. Your a HACK.
    Boll quote "I go my own way, I'm not going with the system."
    and that's why Boll, all your work is to the standard of a Blind film student.

  • the_monkey_god

    Posted Nov 26, 2007 7:32 am PT

    Boll do us all a favor and go shoot your self.

  • Kronom

    Posted Nov 9, 2007 10:24 am PT

    "this guy is an idiot alone in the dark game aint out yet and he already made the movie"

    That comment was more stupid than Boll

  • Night_Frost

    Posted Oct 8, 2007 4:13 pm PT

    Wow...he finally realized that on his own? Good job Mr. Boll, you deserve a Razzy for just being Boll. Seriously, save yourself the death threats and embarassment and stop making films

  • aimmy79

    Posted Sep 19, 2007 6:08 am PT

    jack saab89....you know...alone in the dark is a very very very old franchise.

  • jack_saab89

    Posted Sep 17, 2007 3:44 pm PT

    this guy is an idiot alone in the dark game aint out yet and he already made the movie and he is saying that it sucked can i go kick his ass plz ?

  • Sireph

    Posted Sep 5, 2007 4:24 am PT

    "Uwe Boll could be the worlds worst director."

    Don't say that! Don't you know? He goes his own way. While most directors strive to make good movies, he makes really, really bad movies and gives game-film adaptions a bad name. Have some respect for a man's vision!

  • woolston

    Posted Sep 4, 2007 5:24 am PT

    Uwe Boll could be the worlds worst director.

  • Omihalcon

    Posted Sep 3, 2007 7:57 pm PT

    There is a big difference between being controversial and different and just being tasteless and talentless. he's a hack

  • bdub20791

    Posted Sep 3, 2007 2:28 pm PT

    i think he tries.

    this is the saddest part.

  • rob_dAmAgE

    Posted Sep 3, 2007 4:57 am PT

    from what i'veseen of the postal movie so far- i can't wait!

  • elite_pliskn

    Posted Sep 3, 2007 3:40 am PT

    I hope Uwe Boll burns in hell

  • -T_F_U-

    Posted Sep 3, 2007 3:25 am PT

    Ever heard the phrase “a bad workman always blames his tools”.

    If your source material is so weak why do the project?? What a numpty!!

  • Steel_Rain777

    Posted Sep 1, 2007 10:49 pm PT

    Uwe Boll just plain sucks End of story

  • reverendyates

    Posted Aug 31, 2007 8:19 am PT

    I love controversial and offensive material. Keep it up.

  • ResidentEman

    Posted Aug 30, 2007 5:44 pm PT

    Uwe Boll, STOP MAKING MOVIES!!! The games your crappy movies are based on could, for the most part, make great movies, but you just have absolutely NO TALENT!!! QUIT!!! YOU SUCK!!!

  • pandemic_rno

    Posted Aug 30, 2007 9:18 am PT

    ------MonitorWizard writes: "That or someone who can actually fight should beat him in a boxing match with the terms that he will have to listen to their suggestions (or commands, whichever he is more comfortable with)before starting his next project. Pencil-necked wimps need not apply."------
    IN CASE anyone is interested, MonitorWizard is in fact Uwe Boll himself. He has a clear history of searching for himself on google and challenging critics to a boxing match. Somethingawful.com readers might remember Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka taking him up on a similar challenge a few years back, only to have the match called off for some reason I cant recall off the top of my head. .....Mr. Boll, please realize that getting all worked up on internet forums and challenging people to creepy boxing match fantasies won't make your movies any better. Thanks for your time.

  • jasonmasico

    Posted Aug 29, 2007 8:31 pm PT

    oh...

  • Crush_Project

    Posted Aug 29, 2007 3:21 pm PT

    i havent even seen any of his work, and it sounds like hes actually doing the system thing, not really his own haha

  • Torque224

    Posted Aug 29, 2007 7:12 am PT

    So I guess he's not sticking to the game, from what i'm hearing... He's coming up with more of his own crap...

  • lithus

    Posted Aug 28, 2007 5:38 pm PT

    I think the most productive thing Uwe Boll ever did was find the egg in his mothers womb.

  • playstation_wii

    Posted Aug 28, 2007 1:37 pm PT

    The trailer was not that good.

    not that good at all

  • jknight5422

    Posted Aug 28, 2007 11:36 am PT

    Man, I can't believe Uwe is sinking to new lows by trying to make a 'parody' about 9/11. If Osama was killed & we were winning the war on terror, I might be more lenient at pot shot jokes. But the fact is that he's alive & we're not winning! The guy might as well paint a bullseye on his forehead & walk around with a t-shirt that says "shoot me!".

    This is probably why Jack Thompson didn't go there since I'd love to have him boo'ed off the stage & name-called.

  • buuzer0

    Posted Aug 28, 2007 5:36 am PT

    I would love to see Uwe Boll as one of Jigsaw's victims in a Saw movie. I will leave it at that.

  • C18

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 11:07 pm PT

    Uwe Boll is as useless as a legless midget in a marathon. The movie's gonna suck, but (hopefully) the new game should be awesome.

  • themovi3nut

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 10:42 pm PT

    Lets face it no one wants to see anything comical about 9/11. Theres not one shread of 9/11 that is the least bit amusing. really to put it in short Uwe Boll is just a noob with no brain

  • PacoL250

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 8:04 pm PT

    @Deployed: "I have to say, from now on, it's pointless blaming Uwe Boll, it really is down to the idiots that allow this deluded monkey with a broken typewriter anywhere near their story.

    Which kinda brings me to another point of the whole game to movie situation. Why don't the original writers create the outlay to the story? I'm not talking scripts, old-school game writers were not very good at scripts, they excelled at story...so where the hell are their Movie adaptations of their game stories?    "

    I had to repost that because between all the justified Uwe Boll hate and other spam, there was logic

    Good call. I know a few others along with myself have mentioned this in the past. No idea as to why the developers and publishers still give him the movie rights for the game when all Uwe Boll usually does is lambaste the game.

  • SugarDaddie

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 6:24 pm PT

    Please god, please kill him. I saw the vid of him on stage the other day. Half the audience just walked out on him straight away shouting "You suck!". And when he took questions, some girl called him a racist and told him to get off the stage...over the microphone! HA

    "Boll said that the stories in his films are lacking due to the fact that his source material isn't good to begin with". THEN WHY MAKE A MOVIE BASED ON IT YOU FOOL?!

  • chutup

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 6:05 pm PT

    Dear god, I hate that man.

  • niisan

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 6:03 pm PT

    I watched his presentation on Youtube last night. Judging by the Postal trailer shown, this movie looks horrible. I can't think of any sane person who would want to see it. And then once it had finished it flicked back to the audience. Waves of people heading for the exit.

    I lol'd.

  • vass86

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 5:50 pm PT

    so he complains that the movies he makes are bad because the game's storylines are weak, now his making a movie of the game postal? lol this guy seems full of sh*t

  • reeve92

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 5:48 pm PT

    can i just say ...... it dont matter how much money a game makes as that dont mean it is good ... same goes with a film ....plus a game with too much story sucks and thats why game movies suck i mean games that turn into movies alwayz are action orientated but they make the films with like toooo much talking and not much butt kicking nuff said its his fault no one elses

  • Deployed

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 5:10 pm PT

    "I'm not going with the system"...ok, fine, that actually explains a lot, I mean, the system works, he clearly does not.

    But this just made me realise something, his ability is bad. It's now infamous and more importantly, it's getting worse, so why did the owners of these games allow this moron to touch their product?

    I have to say, from now on, it's pointless blaming Uwe Boll, it really is down to the idiots that allow this deluded monkey with a broken typewriter anywhere near their story.

    Which kinda brings me to another point of the whole game to movie situation. Why don't the original writers create the outlay to the story? I'm not talking scripts, old-school game writers were not very good at scripts, they excelled at story...so where the hell are their Movie adaptations of their game stories?

  • bamf03

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 4:48 pm PT

    I wish I'd been there so I could throw my beer bottle at him.

  • Brizen__Beez

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 4:36 pm PT

    Hahaha, this man is a joke and a HUGE TOOL! His arguments for the "success" of his movies are based off figures that don't even matter. This man has no talent in directing, and certainly no talent in presenting a story. As a joke I watched Alone in the Dark, and I had never felt so stupid for thinking I could watch it as a joke. This man should be banned from any directing of movies, especially video game adaptations.

  • lamprey263

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 4:22 pm PT

    being taboo is always appealing... to a small few

  • MonitorWizard

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:32 pm PT

    Personally, I find everything about Uwe Boll to be one big sidesplitting joke on both the Videogaming public and to Movie-goers alike, sort of like the revenge of Ed Wood. Hmm....Ed Wood, back from the grave doing a movie adaptation of E.T. the game! Uwe Boll should turn that into a movie! I am very interested to see how far he can go with as little aptitude for the tasks set before him as he has and just how far he can diverge from the source material before the movie is the complete anti-thesis of the game it was based upon. As for the Boll basher, they should really lighten up already. For one, Boll is nowhere near as bad as some of the plagiarists that have come out of Bollywood (Indian SuperMan will blow you away with its halitosis ridden super breath like Krytonite!) and he does as well as a good lot of the output of Hollywood, considering his relatively tiny budgets (though they are tax-free budgets, seeing as how he's a German film maker and all). Secondly, what would they whine about if there were no bad movies? Some people just live to complain about things on the Internet these days. Never mind that noone forces them to watch these things and that they often have to go out of their way to find things they don't like as if they were crazy fundamentalists who demand that everything meet their standards of decency, propriety or, in this case, excellence. It isn't as if Boll's bad movies cancel out the good movies out there or that they make anyone think any less of videogames or gamers if they already had low opinions of them to begin with(though it doesn't help).
    Lastly, if someone just gave the man constructive criticism instead of general insults, he might actually improve. Maybe someone should point him in the direction of a game with a decent plot...preferably after showing him the various ways to make a proper adaptation without being too condescending (just by telling him that they will be watching a few adaptations of other games, books and TV shows for 'inspiration' perhaps?).
    That or someone who can actually fight should beat him in a boxing match with the terms that he will have to listen to their suggestions (or commands, whichever he is more comfortable with)before starting his next project. Pencil-necked wimps need not apply.

  • Stubbsen

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:25 pm PT

    Video games movies shouldn't be completely ripped off from the game... That would probably be the same as "Resident Evil 6: The Mansion! You know the mansion....you know the zombies........you know the STORY!!" duhn-duhn- duuuuhn..... Come on... You are allowed to deviate from the original stories of the game, but for god's sake, stick to the material... Don't change what we learned in the game(s)...(unless of course, you made the game)

    I have to agree with BloodMist, Silent Hill was great... The dark world, the monsters, the sets, the music, and the camera work was great, a tribute, if you will, to the games... Personally, I enjoy game-movies, well, the most of them anyways... They give me a really good reason to look forward to the next game in the series, be it Resident Evil, Silent Hill, or Final Fantasy....

    But keep in mind, that movies also make for sh*tty games as well.... is there anybody who ever played a good movie-based game??

  • dyaballikl

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:11 pm PT

    that guy was such a tool. i had an open mind watching the trailer, but i booed him after it was done because it was in such bad taste. i wanted to kick his jew-hating ass.

  • rudyroundhead

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:06 pm PT

    Best sentence I have read all day, "many quickly regained their senses and made a mass exodus in protest."

    Good for them!

  • 343TheFlood

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:04 pm PT

    you have to admit that the scene this article just discriped with the two terrorists on the plane is actually kinda funny. I think personnaly that Uwe Boll just try his hands more in the comedy since that's about all they seem to be good at. Did Blood rayne even make any money?

  • lucrichard

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 3:03 pm PT

    I'm looking forward to this movie, and I'm looking forward to it because he is going to spoof 9/11. The stampede of politicians rushing to condemn the movie and to ban it will be hilarious to watch. Of course, if they actually succeed in banning it, then that would set a dangerous precedent. So in that sense it isn't such a good idea to spoof 9/11 just yet. But I doubt they'll be able to get it banned. All that will happen is that theatres will refuse to show it and retailers will refuse to stock the DVD, is the likely worst-case scenario.

  • gmayronne

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 2:43 pm PT

    michael bay is a big budget uwe boll...

  • ArchangelMRN

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 2:40 pm PT

    lol this guys funny, he should give up movie making at do stand up comedy cause the crap this guy spits out is funnnnnnnny.

  • dmish82

    Posted Aug 27, 2007 2:36 pm PT

    I'd say at least he's moving on to games no one cares about, but now he's going to spoof 9/11?! Is this guy on crack?!?!?!

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