The usually solid Rockstar fails by making a nightmarish choose-your-own-adventure

User Rating: 1 | L.A. Noire PS3
This is not a game. You are not free to do anything. Rockstar lovingly recreated a 1940's Los Angeles full of ambience, but unfortunately there is no incentive to explore even an inch of it.

L.A. Noire represents all that is bad about videogames right now. It has a gimmicky mechanic for interacting with characters that doesn't play well. It's true that the facial expressions and dialogue give the game a realistic feel, but unfortunately your own responses are often inappropriate. Mass Effect's dialogue options would have been much better suited, especially if the player was allowed to build his or her own personality to which NPCs would react.

Unfortunately the developers are so committed to their linear story and its central character's gee-whiz goodness, that it stifles the player completely. In order to add some life to the game, you're saddled with a variety of "colorful" partners who end up being annoying. By annoying, I mean that after having to sit through a damn cutscene before anything happens in this game, it's annoying to begin a footchase with your partner already yelling, "Come on, Phelps, get after him!" What else would I do? what else would I WANT to do?

Worst of all, Rockstar apparently didn't lift a single finger to fix any of the problems with mechanics like walking and shooting. Was it common in the 40s for cops to get hung up on a drainpipe in an alley while chasing a suspect? This game would like you to think so. Why, with my gun drawn, does the smallest flick of the controller send my aim way off to the side.

And don't get me started on the hand-holding. I just loved the mission where you have to protect the child molester from gangsters, and the idiot keeps running ahead of you into gunfire. Oh, also, Phelps is a wuss who gets outrun by literally everyone in this game, and no car he drives is apparently fast enough to catch any other car (at least not until you arrive at the magical pre-designated stopping area).

Also, if I'm chasing a murder suspect with my gun out, and the screen is flashing directions on how to shoot and run, and there's NPCs yelling things like, "Stop him! Shoot him!" I think it's only natural to shoot him. But L.A. Noire has other ideas. It wants you to inexplicably catch that suspect alive, because you HAVE to question him to progress. Can't even shoot him in the foot, either. Just chase him, over and over again, hearing the same dialogue again and again, until you hit the magical pre-designated stopping area.

Screw this game