This so-called classic is due for a diatribe.

User Rating: 2 | Ikari NES
In Ikari Warriors, your mission is to invade an enemy nation and destroy everything, including infantrymen, bunkers, tanks, and helicopters. You start the game on foot, but you can commandeer tanks and helicopters. Many NES fans say that they like this top-down shooter, but I can't understand why. This game has some serious problems.

The biggest problems involve the atrocious play control. The controls simply aren't responsive enough, especially considering the large amount of projectiles you need to dodge and the uncountable number of enemies you need to destroy. The game is inexcusably sluggish, and when your “warrior” is on foot, he's practically uncontrollable. If you're facing forward and an enemy approaches you from behind, you can't simply turn around. You have to walk in a half circle before you're facing the other way!

So say a structure is about to explode in front of you, and you want to move backward so that the explosion doesn’t kill you. Naturally, you push down on the control pad. But because you have to walk in a half circle to turn around, you actually move forward for a second before moving backward. Needless to say, you walk directly into the explosion that you’re trying to avoid. Also, when you’re on foot, trying to maneuver yourself to kill just one infantryman can be a maddening task. Infantrymen can kill you by just touching you, but you’re too slow to evade them and too clunky to position yourself to shoot them.

Regrettably, you control the tank in the same fashion. But at least your tank is impervious to the infantrymen and their guns. Now, to enter a tank, you press A. That's OK, I guess (even though there's a perfectly good select button that isn't used). But to exit the tank, you have to press A and then immediately press B. This is a horrible design because you also press A to rotate your turret, and you shoot with B, so, while you're frantically trying to shoot and maneuver, you'll inevitably exit your tank accidentally. And if you exit your tank before you're ready, you'll probably be killed. Once again, the select button would have been perfect for entering and exiting a tank, but the game designers decided not to use the select button at all. Good choice, guys. Also, your tank explodes (often killing you) just because it runs out of gas, which is sheer nonsense.

The number of lives you have isn't displayed on the screen, so there's no way to find out how many lives you have left. And your score and ammo information constantly flash. Why can't they just stay on the screen the entire time? Also, there is sometimes so much flickering occurring on the screen that you can't see enemy projectiles.

Even the pause function is buggy. Normally when you press start to pause an NES game, the music immediately stops or an inventory screen immediately appears. But in Ikari Warriors, after you press start to pause the game, the music continues playing for a second, which is extremely annoying. I don’t want to listen to the subpar, repetitive music any longer than I have to. And the sound effects are horrible. For example, rockets make a pathetic ting when they explode.

Mostly because of the sluggish and awkward controls, Ikari Warriors is insanely difficult. I really want to know if anyone has beaten the entire game without using the popular A-B-B-A cheat code. That would be legendary!

What irritates me the most about Ikari Warriors is the fact that, with a few modifications (such as adding a password feature and improving the controls), this game could have been great.