Grab your wii remote...uhh...I mean your sword, hahaha, and get ready for one adventure you might as well miss out on!!

User Rating: 5.5 | Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors WII
Dragon Quest Swords: The Masked Queen and the Tower of Mirrors (whoa that's a long title for a game, I'm never writing the whole thing out again) is about a young boy named (insert name here). Yes, you have to input your own name. This means you can safely assume that he's going to be one of those "silent" heroes, can't get enough of them. I wonder why developers choose to have silent heroes in their games; maybe they can't find any good voice actors these days, hahahaha! Anyway back to the plot. You, the hero, and your allies must take up arms against the forces of EVIL, and prevent the destruction of the world. Yet another "save the world" type game, whoopdeedoo!!! The story in this game is as exciting as a chewed up shoe in a toilet bowl. If you're looking for a game with a hard hitting story, you won't find it here!

DQSTMQATTOM (wow the acronym for this game is long, I think I'll just stick to DQS, Dragon Quest Swords) presents somewhat innovative game play. In the game you use your wii remote as a sword. Throughout the game you will basically hack and slash your way through hordes of enemies, fight a boss, and repeat the process until either you get bored, or you beat the game, whichever comes first. Just think of DQS like one of those classic arcade gun-con shooters such as House of the Dead or Time Crisis; minus the gun-type gameplay, the zombies, the cover-system, and…….the fun. Never mind DQS is nothing like those classic gun-con shooters. When you're fighting enemies, a tiny bit of strategy is involved. You can't just go swinging your wii remote and expect to kill something (which BTW I often do); you have to have a balance between blocking attacks with your shield, and attacking with your sword. Sure the whole concept is great, but the way the concept is delivered in the game is TERRIBLE. When you try to slash an enemy in a certain direction, your wii remote decides to have a puny brain of its own and registers the slash going the other way. This is a very crucial part of the game. Why? Cus when you need to deflect attacks with your blade, you CAN'T, because the wii remote doesn't want to register your attacks correctly. It's like trying to teach a rock to complete a 100 mile marathon; IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!!! When a game's concept is flushed down the toilet, the entire game is flushed down the toilet. The developers should have used guns instead of swords, I'm just saying……

DQS is a game that's filled with color, lush, and vibrant visuals. Now that's what I would have said if this were a last-gen game, but it's NOT! Now don't get me wrong, the game doesn't look half bad, but the visuals could have been…… well…..better. I know it's on the Wii, but still, Super Mario Galaxy looks better than Super Mario Sunshine. So why couldn't DQS look better than Dragon Quest VIII on the Playstation 2? The level designs within the game are uninspired, well except the town. The levels just look sooooooooooooooooo boooooooooooring!!!! Whenever I enter a new level I want to get it over with as soon as possible. Why? Cus my eyes are constantly burning from the severe lack of great level designs. The environments look completely the same no matter how far you venture into the level. The character designs on the other hand are done well; just what you'd expect from the artists of Dragonball Z.

Bad voice actors. That's all I have to say, but for your convenience, I'll explain why. Everyone in the game just feels like they have to have an ridiculously, annoying accent, and you know what, BULLSHOT!!! When the characters do get to talk, I quickly read the text they're going to say, and I skip the actual voice acting. Their accents…….they're just so…….HORRID!!! When the characters talk I feel like I want to chop off my ears, put them in a grinder, then flush'em down a toilet. Yeah, it's that bad. The in-game music was pretty good though. If you've enjoyed listening to the music in other Dragon Quest games then you'll love listening to the music in this game.

Overall: Dragon Quest Swords had the potential to be a great game. It had many interesting ideas, ex. first person swordplay, but in the end it just wasn't delivered well. Hopefully Square Enix will learn from their mistakes in this game when developing the next Dragon Quest Swords; assuming there will be a next one.
0 comments