Shane Satterfield Features Editor, Video Games	Recent Favorites: Sega Soccer Slam, Animal Leader, Rallisport Challenge Most Anticipated: Freekstyle, Metroid Prime, Mario Sunshine

No No on AO

With the advent of the "mature" gamer and games supposedly made for older players, it's puzzling why the Entertainment Software Ratings Board's most neglected rating category has yet to be used. That's right, I'm talking about AO or adults-only video games. Perhaps the biggest question to ask is just how far a game has to go before receiving an AO rating from the ESRB.

Anyone who's spent a significant amount of time with video games has to remember a campy game from the late '80s called Leisure Suit Larry. In the game you play as a 40-year-old virgin who's trying very desperately to do the dirty deed. While the game featured crude graphics and was arguably a bore to play, it broke ground for all future adult games to come. But it was released long before the ESRB was ever in existence and therefore never received the "coveted" AO designation. So what does it take for a game to be rated AO? Well, I can tell you a number of things that are supposedly mature that still aren't enough to earn an AO rating for a game.

Sorry, Mike. You're just not suggestive enough.

Swearing will not get a game an AO rating. Shadow Man had more swearing than a group of sailors at a bar and culminated with a battle to the death between the main character, Mike LeRoi, and his undead baby brother. But that was only enough for an M rating.

Senseless violence is not enough to hand a game the AO designation either. You can obliterate enemies down to their spinal columns in Turok 2, beat another human to death with his friend's head in State of Emergency, or mercilessly beat an innocent old woman to a pulp in Grand Theft Auto III. Yet all of these games are rated M for mature instead of AO. So what does a game have to include to be designated as adults-only? Apparently, sex.

Even blocks like to have sex.

If you haven't noticed, sex is just about the only facet of our depraved society that has yet to be shown in a video game, and it's obvious that the ESRB is waiting for some very special game to break down this barrier. There has been plenty of innuendo in games. In the opening of Shadow Man the lead character "lays down" with a voodoo priestess, and even in Animal Leader there are allusions to sex (or mating, depending on how you classify cube-shaped beings). And no, nudity isn't good enough either. There's plenty of that in Countdown Vampires, and it's rated M. Or how about homosexual innuendo? Nope, Fear Effect 2 has plenty of that and only received an M rating as well.

			Would you be willing to enter an "adults only" store to buy an AO-rated game? Why not? I'm there anyway. Maybe if the wife/girlfriend gets an extra minute. No way!

So it's become obvious that full-blown sexcapades are the only way to get an AO rating out of the ESRB. But finally reaching this esteemed designation only presents a glut of more issues. For instance, where will you sell it? Surely you can't expect toy stores like KB Toys or Toys "R" Us to sell it? Or how about stores like Electronics Boutique? Do you think that conservatives will picket the store if EB is selling an AO-rated game from under the counter? Sure they will. This leaves only one option: porn stores. That's right. Right next to Ginger Rides Again you'll eventually be able to find your favorite AO-rated games. No offense to those who frequent such establishments, but these aren't exactly the ideal places to drum up business for the software industry. With so many "hands-on" options in stores such as these, who wants interactive entertainment?

Two women in love isn't enough for an M rating.

Despite the strides that have been made by games like Grand Theft Auto III over the past year, video games are still a step below their cinematic counterparts where suggestive material is concerned. And until a publisher is brave enough to take the next step in the evolution of video games, we will not see an AO-rated game available for purchase.