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I wrote a poem about Halo - Whaddya think?

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  • Supaman222
     
    Level 13
    Toobin'
    Posts: 262
    Oct 11, 2010 5:15 pm GMT

    First off, this is a serious poem I intend to submit for my english class. It was a good source of inspiration. I also think it's pretty subtle or else I wouldn't submit it.

    Dominance


    We meet together at a crossroad,

    Only one will walk away.

    'Tis I who will be the one

    To see the light of day.


    We battle 'til we hear the click

    in a panic, rush forward for the kill

    I slip away, victorious,

    only feeling slightly ill.


    Don't be ashamed,

    although you're maimed

    your life is far from lost,

    waiting a few seconds,

    is quite a fair cost.


    We meet together at a crossroad,

    Only one will walk away.

    'Tis I who will be the one,

    To see the light of day.

    First off, this is a serious poem I intend to submit for my english class. It was a good source of inspiration. I also think it's pretty subtle or else I wouldn't submit it.

    Dominance


    We meet together at a crossroad,

    Only one will walk away.

    'Tis I who will be the one

    To see the light of day.


    We battle 'til we hear the click

    in a panic, rush forward for the kill

    I slip away, victorious,

    only feeling slightly ill.


    Don't be ashamed,

    although you're maimed

    your life is far from lost,

    waiting a few seconds,

    is quite a fair cost.


    We meet together at a crossroad,

    Only one will walk away.

    'Tis I who will be the one,

    To see the light of day.

    Report Abuse
  • needled24-7
     
    Level 36
    Radical Ninja
    Posts: 16024
    Oct 11, 2010 5:26 pm GMT

    a single tear just slid down my cheek

    a single tear just slid down my cheek

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  • wired4stuff
     
    Level 14
    Ring King
    Posts: 182
    Oct 11, 2010 5:30 pm GMT
    pretty lame. hopefully you don't have to read it in front of the class, they'll all laugh at you. and it is in no way subtle.

    pretty lame. hopefully you don't have to read it in front of the class, they'll all laugh at you. and it is in no way subtle.
    Report Abuse
  • MasterBolt360
     
    Level 31
    Ippon!
    Posts: 5809
    Oct 11, 2010 5:35 pm GMT

    Very nice, but did it have to be about Halo?

    Very nice, but did it have to be about Halo? :lol:

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  • Stevo7991
     
    Level 2
    Journeyman
    Posts: 1320
    Oct 11, 2010 6:41 pm GMT

    Nice poem....

    Nice poem....:roll:

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  • Fusionmix
     
    Level 23
    Super Bagman
    Posts: 1754
    Oct 11, 2010 6:59 pm GMT

    Dude. A poem about a video game?

    It's trite, your rhymes are hilarious (ill? maimin? What?), and the whole thing is melodramatic. No. Please do not read it in front of class, or Billie Mays' ghost will confiscate your mancard.


    azmodios wrote:
    Maybe we can get Bioware to release DLC that changes Jack's perspective. It can come with a flannel shirt and a Subaru Outback shuttle. I'd pay 400 credits for that.

    Dude. A poem about a video game?

    It's trite, your rhymes are hilarious (ill? maimin? What?), and the whole thing is melodramatic. No. Please do not read it in front of class, or Billie Mays' ghost will confiscate your mancard.

    Report Abuse
  • Rhino53
     
    Level 29
    Radiant Silvergun
    Posts: 2553
    Oct 11, 2010 7:32 pm GMT

    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...

    Edited on Oct 11, 2010 7:33 pm GMT


    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...

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  • sundown19
     
    Level 36
    Radical Ninja
    Posts: 410
    User is Online
    Oct 11, 2010 7:55 pm GMT

    If you change the title to "Molested" it puts the poem in a whole new context.

    If you change the title to "Molested" it puts the poem in a whole new context.

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  • Venomkringe
     
    Level 24
    I Feel Asleep!!
    Posts: 170
    Oct 11, 2010 8:30 pm GMT

    lol its not as bad as one of my friends who wrote a series of lyrics all about halo, i couldn't look at him seriously for a whole month XD

    blopssig

    lol its not as bad as one of my friends who wrote a series of lyrics all about halo, i couldn't look at him seriously for a whole month XD

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  • Supaman222
     
    Level 13
    Toobin'
    Posts: 262
    Oct 22, 2010 5:21 pm GMT

    You laugh, but I got 10/10. My teacher is an idiot.

    But so am I.

    You laugh, but I got 10/10. My teacher is an idiot.

    But so am I.

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  • supersas12
     
    Level 4
    Paper Boy
    Posts: 10
    Oct 26, 2010 8:09 am GMT
    on a video game lol
    on a video game lol
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  • BLAS1AN
     
    Level 32
    Snake Eater
    Posts: 3400
    Oct 26, 2010 8:21 am GMT

    sounds like last saturdays UFC match between Brock Lesnar and Cain, lol

    sounds like last saturdays UFC match between Brock Lesnar and Cain, lol

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  • Keving7
     
    Level 31
    Ippon!
    Posts: 1039
    Oct 26, 2010 8:24 am GMT
    Rhino53 wrote:

    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...



    my thoughts exactly hahahaha. TC, i guess good job? Please record a video of you reciting this in a matchmaking lobby. I wanna see what happens so bad lol

    "I was going to tell an arrow in the knee joke, but then I took a boot to the head"

    Raptr Forum Signature"border:none;">

    BrMarlin wrote:

    As far as pheonix wright is concerned, the most important piece of evidence is the Attorney's Badge. "OBJECTION! I AM A GODDAMN LAWYER!"

    [QUOTE="Rhino53"]

    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...

    [/QUOTE] my thoughts exactly hahahaha. TC, i guess good job? Please record a video of you reciting this in a matchmaking lobby. I wanna see what happens so bad lol
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  • Keving7
     
    Level 31
    Ippon!
    Posts: 1039
    Oct 26, 2010 8:25 am GMT
    sundown19 wrote:

    If you change the title to "Molested" it puts the poem in a whole new context.



    HAHA that is TERRIBLE...YET HILARIOUS (yes this is all CAPS worthy)

    "I was going to tell an arrow in the knee joke, but then I took a boot to the head"

    Raptr Forum Signature"border:none;">

    BrMarlin wrote:

    As far as pheonix wright is concerned, the most important piece of evidence is the Attorney's Badge. "OBJECTION! I AM A GODDAMN LAWYER!"

    [QUOTE="sundown19"]

    If you change the title to "Molested" it puts the poem in a whole new context.

    [/QUOTE] HAHA that is TERRIBLE...YET HILARIOUS (yes this is all CAPS worthy)
    Report Abuse
  • DJ_Magneto
     
    Level 33
    Goombella
    Posts: 4675
    Oct 26, 2010 8:29 am GMT
    Supaman222 wrote:

    You laugh, but I got 10/10. My teacher is an idiot.

    But so am I.


    Hey, as long as you gave an effort, a poetry teacher can't really give you crap.

    Speaking of poetry in games, maybe you'll like this...

    Gears 2: Rendezvous

    The whole poem here...Alan Seeger was a WWI vet, so I think he has good context for this poem.
    I have a Rendezvous with Death by Alan Seeger
    Edited on Oct 26, 2010 8:30 am GMT
    .
    [QUOTE="Supaman222"]

    You laugh, but I got 10/10. My teacher is an idiot.

    But so am I.

    [/QUOTE] Hey, as long as you gave an effort, a poetry teacher can't really give you crap. Speaking of poetry in games, maybe you'll like this... Gears 2: Rendezvous The whole poem here...Alan Seeger was a WWI vet, so I think he has good context for this poem. I have a Rendezvous with Death by Alan Seeger
    Report Abuse
  • Ghost_702
     
    Level 36
    Radical Ninja
    Posts: 7386
    Oct 26, 2010 8:45 am GMT
    Don't call yourself an idiot just because others on the forum think you are. Is their poetry supposed to be any better than yours? It was good man. If you understand Halo and respawns, it makes sense and is actually very good in that the poem can be continuously repeated. You fight, you die, you come back. You may not win a nobel prize for it, but it is by no means terrible. Also, what's wrong with writing about Halo? You should write about what you know and enjoy.
    Don't call yourself an idiot just because others on the forum think you are. Is their poetry supposed to be any better than yours? It was good man. If you understand Halo and respawns, it makes sense and is actually very good in that the poem can be continuously repeated. You fight, you die, you come back. You may not win a nobel prize for it, but it is by no means terrible. Also, what's wrong with writing about Halo? You should write about what you know and enjoy.
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  • The_Shady_One
     
    Level 2
    Journeyman
    Posts: 11
    Oct 26, 2010 9:37 am GMT
    A poem about Halo...

    I bet Edgar Allen Poe is spinning in his grave right now.
    A poem about Halo... I bet Edgar Allen Poe is spinning in his grave right now.
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  • _TheJoker_
     
    Level 39
    Max Force
    Posts: 5881
    Oct 26, 2010 9:43 am GMT

    Rhino53 wrote:

    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...

    Or have you?

    ....

    In a discussion about Dark Souls:

    destinyDemon wrote:

    well if the original game was so good then it wouldnt have needed a sequel

    [QUOTE="Rhino53"]

    Poetry in the Gamespot forums? now I've seen everything...

    [/QUOTE]

    Or have you?

    ....

    Report Abuse
  • erickb1983
     
    Level 12
    Rad Racer
    Posts: 318
    Oct 26, 2010 9:53 am GMT

    Stick to game playing as your hobby not poem writing. I am curious to what grade you got for it.

    haloHalo 1 where it all started

    Owns: Xbox360 4gb slim Playing: Lego Batman Lego StarWars Lego Indiana Jones

    Stick to game playing as your hobby not poem writing. I am curious to what grade you got for it.

    Report Abuse
  • wwervin
     
    Level 47
    Jaquio
    Posts: 10273
    Oct 26, 2010 10:22 am GMT
    Bet ya didn't know poems don't have to rhyme. I'd suggest going that route next time, your rhymes were rather odd.

    Good job though. Hope you didn't look like a tool reading it in front of class lol.

    KingErvin's Special FX

    Bet ya didn't know poems don't have to rhyme. I'd suggest going that route next time, your rhymes were rather odd. Good job though. Hope you didn't look like a tool reading it in front of class lol.
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