The All Famous "WHAT IF" Is Here...

1.) ...speed wasn't important?

Then Time would be really pissed off.

2.) ...this game was really called "NEED FOR MARIO CART"?

Then you could hit the other cars with a blue shell.

3.) ...roads weren't an option?

One of the essential questions of our time: If roads weren't an option, would anyone care? No.

4.) ...they also allowed demolition derbies?

You mean they don't?

5.) ...your car actually did take damage?

Burnout.

6.) ...Nitro's weren't an option?

Then speed wouldn't be important.

7.) ...you had to obey the traffic laws?

Then your need for speed wouldn't be satisfied.

8.) ...you really got a ticket for speeding in the game?

Nobody would buy the game. That would suck.

9.) ...opponents didn't cheat?

Then cheats wouldn't opponant.

10.) ...you could use weapons?

James Bond Racing!

11.) ...you could use powerups?

That wouldn't be very realistic, now would it? You might as well add Pokemon to the game if you're going to do that.

12.) ...this game was really called "NEED FOR DRUGS"?

Then I would kill the hookers.

13.) ...it was illegal to play "NEED FOR SPEED"?

Then only outlaws would play Need For Speed.

14.) ...this game only went to WII?

The controls would be terrible.

15.) ...you could play as SONIC THE HEDGEHOG?

I would laugh.

16.) ...your opponent was SONIC THE HEDGEHOG?

I would laugh harder.

17.) ...this was really called "NEED FOR SAFETY"?

I would suspect it would be shown in *A certain unit in health class*.

18.) ...you needed a license to play "NEED FOR SPEED"?

Then it wouldn't be rated Teen any more.

19.) ...you really had to go to court for all the traffic violations in the game?

Then I would answer my Call of Duty, andpay my 50 Cent down Saint's Row.

20.) ...races weren't alwyas in a constant circle?

Then you'd be going in an octogon.

[QUOTE="gbarules2999"]

7.) ...Jack had an alter ego named Jill?

Jack and Jill went up the hill; To fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down and broke his crown; FINISH HIM And Jill pressed X, O, X, X. FATALITY.

iloveflash

Epic win.

I just wanted to reitirate this. So much win in one post.

1.) ...speed wasn't important?

It isn't. Everyone knows that racing is for bragging rights.

Now take away the hot pieces of ass stalking around before every race and you've got dozens of hormone-raging gangsters ready to cop each other on the spot. It's all about dominance, dawg. Ass is dominance, equate that.

*homeboy jeering*

2.) ...this game was really called "NEED FOR MARIO CART"?

Need for Speed, Need for Mario Cart... They might as well call it Need for ILF or Need for Extasis.

What's with all the drug references, anyway?

3.) ...roads weren't an option?

Streets would be!

(Deja vu mutha****? O_O) Cock lock*

4.) ...they also allowed demolition derbies?

FlatOut+Need for Speed=Need for Derby

My god the references...

5.) ...your car actually did take damage?

The police might actually have a chance.

6.) ...Nitro's weren't an option?

Then there'd be an actual Need for Speed.

7.) ...you had to obey the traffic laws?

It wouldn't matter; since the police force is made up of monkeys, they'd sit at the red lights as well.

8.) ...you really got a ticket for speeding in the game?

That has to be the single greatest case of getting off scott-free that I've ever heard of. SPEEDING TICKETS!?

Consider the fact that the police would first have to catch them in order to give them the tickets, and you'll see what I mean when I say: IDIOOOOTS!

9.) ...opponents didn't cheat?

"Well why don't we all just settle this over a nice hot cup of tea and a plate of delicious ass?"

HE'S A DETECTIVE A-HOLE!

10.) ...you could use weapons?

There would be no Need for Speed. Just a Need for Aim.

11.) ...you could use powerups?

"You got the goods?"

"Yeah, two yellow stars and a mushroom."

"FREEZE, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!"

...And then the thief would use the star and go busting through walls. Would you really like for that to happen?

12.) ...this game was really called "NEED FOR DRUGS"?

What have I been saying all this time? :P

13.) ...it was illegal to play "NEED FOR SPEED"?

No worries, the game's fanbase knows how to pirate it anyway.

14.) ...this game only went to WII?

...There goes the fanbase. :P

15.) ...you could play as SONIC THE HEDGEHOG?

If he was on the police force, then that would be nice. Granted, a team of monkeys and a blue hedgehog isn't exactly the most awesome thing to happen to mankind.

If he was one of the "hombres", epic fail. I think he might be shot on sight.

If they put him in a car we'd be playing "Shadow the Hedgehog 2: Need for Sonic."

16.) ...your opponent was SONIC THE HEDGEHOG?

...He'd be shot on sight.

17.) ...this was really called "NEED FOR SAFETY"?

I just realized how fun it is to mess with that title. :P

Need for Safety's another gimmick anyway; Safety's probably the name of some sort of Indian pill that gets you really trip in large doses.

18.) ...you needed a license to play "NEED FOR SPEED"?

As long as no one goes to the driving school that all the GTA characters went to, that's fine.

19.) ...you really had to go to court for all the traffic violations in the game?

Now there's a commercial that would sell some copies.

20.) ...races weren't alwyas in a constant circle?

They'd be in squares. Creativity isn't a strong suit of theirs, you know.

21.) ...you could turn down any street to get to the finish line?

I'd always win races on my own turf.

22.) ...you could go cross country non-stop?

There'd be a Need for Gas.

23.) ...this is how you drive to work?

With cops chasing you every day? Need to be Early.

24.) ...this is how you take your date out?

Need to Get My Date Home Safely.

25.) ...you win actual money?

Sadly the fanbase doesn't need it.

If you haven't guessed by now, this fanbase I'm referring to consists of one man with truckloads of dirty money. :P

26.) ...your car was really a transformer?

As long as it ain't Megatron I'm down with it.

27.) ...you could choose every kind of vehicle? (Bikes, SUV's, pickups, offroad, etc.)

I'd choose the tank.

28.) ...mixed 2D with 3D?

The offspring.

29.) ..."NEED FOR SPEED" was an RPG?

I'd make a joke, but that actually sounds wicked cool.

30.) ..."NEED FOR SPEED" dind't exist?

No one would care since sadly there is no Need for Need for Speed.

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]

[QUOTE="gbarules2999"]

7.) ...Jack had an alter ego named Jill?

Jack and Jill went up the hill; To fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down and broke his crown; FINISH HIM And Jill pressed X, O, X, X. FATALITY.

iloveflash

Epic win.

I just wanted to reitirate this. So much win in one post.

My NFS one wasn't nearly as funny at Tekken.

[QUOTE="iloveflash"][QUOTE="iloveflash"]

[QUOTE="gbarules2999"]

7.) ...Jack had an alter ego named Jill?

Jack and Jill went up the hill; To fetch a pail of water; Jack fell down and broke his crown; FINISH HIM And Jill pressed X, O, X, X. FATALITY.

Aberinkulas

Epic win.

I just wanted to reitirate this. So much win in one post.

My NFS one wasn't nearly as funny at Tekken.

Yeah, the second time around is always a worse than the first go.

Man that was funny. I think I pee'd a little when I read that...

1.) ...Moblins were really called Goblins?

Aww, but Moblin is such a NICE name.

2.) ...Gannon had a much cooler name?

It would be Sephiroth. Duh.

3.) ...the game was called "LINK" instead of "ZELDA"?

I wouldn't play it. Sounds too much like *cough, cough* Tetris *cough, cough*

4.) ...boomerang could kill monsters instead of stun them?

Yeah! My death meter would go down. Then the game would be too easy though

5.) ..."Tektites" were really called "Jumping Spiders"?

Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Tektites takes up less room.

6.) ..."Octoroks" were really called "RockShooters"?

Too much like an ARCADE game

7.) ...it was easier to find secret walls?

I would be better at beating the final boss(es)

8.) ...it was harder to find secret walls?

No please! Anything but that!

9.) ...your sword could destroy secret walls?

Sweet. But that would ruin my brother's entertainment. He likes watching me suffer to find hidden walls.

10.) ...you didn't need to get a map of the dungeon?

Ha, ha, ha, I would get lost even more.

11.) ...bats were easier to kill?

Freakin' bats, I almost forgot how much I hate those things

12.) ..."Zelda" was the hero instead of "Link"?

Girl Power!

13.) ...you could use the "Triforce" as a weapon?

No! You don't hit people with triangles. That's lame.

14.) ...didn't need to push rocks to find secret areas?

You'd never hear that cool sound effect.

15.) ...all Zelda games were different from each other in playstyle?

*cough, cough* Final Fantasy *cough, cough*

16.) ...Moblins weren't so easy to kill?

Then they would be called...Goblins!

17.) ...dungeons weren't in room-by-room style?

IT would suck.

18.) ...dungeons weren't easy to figure out?

I would give up on playing Zelda

19.) ...you couldn't shoot with the sword?

I never liked that function anyway...

20.) ...monsters weren't so easy to find and fight?

I would run away.

21.) ...NPC's gave you real advice?

NPCs...giving good advice?! That's a good one.

22.) ...sword powerups were harder to find?

They aren't already?

23.) ...you could use your fists to fight?

Bleh. Swords are WAY cooler.

24.) ...fairies were easier to find?

They're not hard to begin with.

25.) ...couldn't waist postions?

Yes! That would be cool!

26.) ...bombs had a bigger explosion?

Two words. GAME OVER.

27.) ...Gannon was harder to beat?

*sighs* He's hard already, at least in...wait he isn't hard at all. What am I saying?

28.) ...Gannon was easier to beat?

My brother would gloat even more.

29.) ...Gannon owned both "Triforce"?

Boo! Hiss!

30.) ...all Gannon wanted was to marry Zelda?

Pervert. The game would be rated teen then.

Okay, okay, just for old time sake, I figured I would make one set just because this thing was like 7 pages away, plus I need to amuse myself and see if I still got it as well as see if "iloveflash" can come up with some more witty stuff. Of course many of you have come up with some really good stuff as well. The last one was a great set, especially for a ZELDA set. Well here we go...

*Announcers Voice* WELCOME ALL ONCE AGAIN TO THIS "WHAT IF" SHOW!!! WE HOPED YOU LIKE THE LAST SHOW, SO WE ARE BACK TO ANNOY YOU TO THE POINT OF GETTING A GUN AND BLOWING YOUR BRAINS OUT!!! THIS "WHAT IF" IS DEDICATED TOTALLY TO THE OLD 8-BIT NES SYSTEM!!! WOW, LOOK AT ALL THOSE 16 COLORS ON THAT GAME, EVERYTHING JUST LOOKS SO REAL!!! WELL, LETS GET THIS THING STARTED!!!

WHAT IF...

1.) ...8-bit was the new 16-bit?

2.) ...16-bit was the new 8-bit?

3.) ...swords didn't look like sticks?

4.) ...magic spells had cool effects?

5.) ...games had digital sound?

6.) ...games had surround sound?

7.) ...games had 256 colors?

8.) ...games went to CD?

9.) ...games had cinematics?

10.) ...games were in 3D?

11.) ...NES was STILL the best system in the world to this day?

12.) ...passwords had a difference between O and 0?

13.) ...cartridges didn't require cleaning?

14.) ...Mario looked teh same in every game?

15.) ...controllers had 6 buttons?

16.) ...all games were in the system, no buying cartridges?

17.) ...you could play SNES games on the NES?

18.) ...you could have several sprites on screen without slowdown?

19.) ...sprites had several frames of animation?

20.) ...you could use 4 controllers?

21.) ...NES had modem play?

22.) ...R.O.B. wasn't expensive?

23.) ...R.O.B. played all your games?

24.) ...NES came with every game?

25.) ...NES had a hard drive?

26.) ...NES played DVD movies?

27.) ...NES used memory cards?

28.) ...Microsoft came out with the NES?

29.) ...you could mod the NES?

30.) ...NES wasn't so bulky?

OKay, there you go, 30 more just for you. Lets see who can come up with some responces? (AND DAMN IT ILOVEFLASH, GIVE OTHER PEOPLE A CHANCE FIRST??? :D )

Yes friends, it's me. I am BACK once again to give you MORE "WHAT IF" just for you. For those of you who are new here, welcome, and I will let others explain this silly little thread to you. FOr those of you who still know me well, lets see if I have what it takes to come up with 30 more "WHAT IF's" just for you, and only because you didn't ask for them. :D

*Announcers Voice* "HELLO ALL AND WELCOME ONCE AGAIN TO ANOTHER EDITION IF "WHAT IF"! YOU ONLY THOUGHT I WAS DEAD, BUT YOU THOUGHT WRONG! THIS PORTION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "MARVEL ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2", "DAMN IT JUGGERNAUGHT, YOU'RE ON OUR SIDE!" WELL, LETS GET TO IT!

WHAT IF...

1.) ...Iron Man was really Plastic Man

2.) ...Juggernaut was really called Dreadnaut

3.) ...Iceman couldn't melt

4.) ...Blade was really called Sword

5.) ...all game systems allowed you every character

6.) ...the game had more marvel characters

7.) ...this game was in 2D

8.) ...Venom was the best character in the game

9.) ...Juggernaut was the worst character in the game

10.) ...the ultimate power was to fart

11.) ...the ultimate power was to burp

12.) ...the ultimate power was to think

13.) ...the ultmate power was to do NOTHING AT ALL

14.) ...one character had the powers of every marvel character

15.) ...Final Fantasy joined in the fight

16.) ...Street Fighter joined in the fight

17.) ...King Of Fighters joined in the fight

18.) ...this game was made by SNK

19.) ...this game was made by CAPCOM

20.) ...this game was an RPG

21.) ...Activision never existed

22.) ...Pitfall Harry was a secret character

23.) ...this game went to NES only

24.) ...this game went to SEGA (If SEGA was still around)

25.) ...you really could be any of the characters in the game

26.) ...it not only cost you to buy, but also to play

27.) ...in the end, there can be only one

28.) ...this game was called "DC ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2"

29.) ...you could play as MARVEL & DC characters

30.) ...there was no comic related game ever made

There you go, another 30 just for you adoring fans who just LOVE to see more "WHAT IF". Oh, come on now, you know you missed me so much that you just couldn't wait for more of this. Besides you knew sooner or later this was going to continue, it was just a matter of time. :D Anyways, enjoy.

Okey, this time I will answer all the questions, even if I don't find anything funny to say.

1.) ...Iron Man was really Plastic Man

CooperTeam

He would definitely be gay

2.) ...Juggernaut was really called Dreadnaut

CooperTeam

People would take him less seriously

3.) ...Iceman couldn't melt

CooperTeam

He'd be a really unbalanced character

4.) ...Blade was really called Sword

CooperTeam

He would commit suicide

5.) ...all game systems allowed you every character

CooperTeam

My faith in mankind would be restored

6.) ...the game had more marvel characters

CooperTeam

Like who?

7.) ...this game was in 2D

CooperTeam

It would have actually been a good game.

8.) ...Venom was the best character in the game

CooperTeam

AWESOMENESS!

9.) ...Juggernaut was the worst character in the game

CooperTeam

Wouldn't even matter

10.) ...the ultimate power was to fart

CooperTeam

Wario would have been a character.

11.) ...the ultimate power was to burp

CooperTeam

The game would become a frat house legend.

12.) ...the ultimate power was to think

CooperTeam

Star Trek fans would buy it.

13.) ...the ultmate power was to do NOTHING AT ALL

CooperTeam

Then the game would be something produced by SEGA.

14.) ...one character had the powers of every marvel character

CooperTeam

Overpowered bastard.

15.) ...Final Fantasy joined in the fight

CooperTeam

Wha ha ha ha ha... Wait, was that a serious question?

16.) ...Street Fighter joined in the fight

CooperTeam

No one would care.

17.) ...King Of Fighters joined in the fight

CooperTeam

Still no one would care

18.) ...this game was made by SNK

CooperTeam

And no one would care about that either.

19.) ...this game was made by CAPCOM

CooperTeam

You know, that could have worked... NOT!

20.) ...this game was an RPG

CooperTeam

Then it would have soul, but lame gameplay.

21.) ...Activision never existed

CooperTeam

The world would be pretty much the same.

22.) ...Pitfall Harry was a secret character

CooperTeam

No one would care.

23.) ...this game went to NES only

CooperTeam

Bankrupcy.

24.) ...this game went to SEGA (If SEGA was still around)

CooperTeam

Sonic would be in - and the game would bet 3.0 from gamespot.

25.) ...you really could be any of the characters in the game

CooperTeam

My faith in mankind would be restored (man, I repeat myself too much)

26.) ...it not only cost you to buy, but also to play

CooperTeam

The developers would be burried in hate mail.

27.) ...in the end, there can be only one

CooperTeam

Then that one would be Spidey, no doubt.

28.) ...this game was called "DC ULTIMATE ALLIANCE 2"

CooperTeam

The game might have been good.

29.) ...you could play as MARVEL & DC characters

CooperTeam

Would have been awesome.

30.) ...there was no comic related game ever made

CooperTeam

The suicide rates would go down.

Um, saving space, it was a long post, but he knows what he said. :P

waZelda

Nice job, and nice to see you again as well. Glad to see the WHAT IF is not totally hated... YET!!! Even if it wasn't totally funny, at least you made an effort, and that's all that really matters. But thanks and good effort, anyone else???

[QUOTE="CooperTeam"]

1.) ...Iron Man was really Plastic Man

waZelda

He would definitely be gay

ROFLCOPTORRRRR

What if the what if was still going? Foolz3h

Um... :roll: It still is ^_^

And nice to see you to Foolz3h... :)

...*Long 2 day silence* :roll: Oh, okay, it's nice to see you as well iloveflash :D

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... *Mad chaotic look of laughter* YOU FOOLS, YOU SILLY FOOLS!!! DO YOU SEE, YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THIS POST, IT IS HERE FOREVER!!! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA... *cough* HA HA HA... *cough* *cough* *cough*... *choke*... (Looks around) Ahem, as I was saying... BWAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...

*In Announcers Voice* HELLO ALL YOU HAPPY PEOPLE, SORRY TO BRING YOUR SPIRITS DOWN, BUT THIS IS NOT OVER BY ALONG SHOT!!! WE ARE STILL HERE AND WE BRING YOU... YES... YOU GUESSED IT... "ANOTHER" ROUND OF "WHAT IF" JUST FOR YOU FANS, BECAUSE YOU JUST CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT AND YOU KNOW IT!!! AFTER OVERA YEAR OF BEING AWAY, WE ARE BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!! IN THIS EPISODE OF "WHAT IF", WE BRING YOU GOOD TIDINGS BY DISCUSSING THE GAME OF "SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD" FOR PS3!!! HEY, IT MAY BE 2D, BUT AT LEAST IT'S NOT "CRASH AND THE BOYS" OR "RIVER CITY RANSOM"!!! (ALTHOUGH IF YOU PREFER I DISCUSS THAT THEN... NO??? YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME TO BRING BACK A CLASSIC GA... REALLY??? TRUELY??? FINE, "SCOTT PILGRIM" IT IS!!!) ANYWAYS, LETS GET TO IT SHALL WE??? (I will be refering to the PS3 version, for that is the version I have, since there is also a XBOX 360 version as well.)

WHAT IF...

1.) ...you didn't win any PS3 trophies?

2.) ...it mocked Final Fight?

3.) ...this game didn't compair to Streets Of Rage?

4.) ...it was easy enough to not take damage in this game?

5.) ...this game didn't copy River City Ransom?

6.) ...you could play as characters from River City Ransom?

7.) ...Technos Japan sued them for copyright?

8.) ...this game was based on another TV series?

9.) ...you could become a Power Ranger?

10.) ...this wasn't an Action/RPG?

11.) ...this was more of an RPG style than action?

12.) ...the music was modernized?

13.) ...this game also had lag when more characters appeared on screen?

14.) ...you could buy property and then be able to buy what you want for free?

15.) ...this was harder to play?

16.) ...all the playable characters were male?

17.) ...all the playable characters were female?

18.) ...you could play through the entire game (with every character) in 1 day?

19.) ...you could get every PS3 trophy in 1 day?

20.) ...no one played this game?

21.) ...the game was given a rating of "0 out of 10"?

22.) ...the game didn't let you use weapons?

23.) ...the enemies didn't attack you with cheap shots?

24.) ...you could shoot fireballs?

25.) ...you could get $20 bills instead of coins?

26.) ...it didn't take so long to get to your destination?

27.) ...you needed the Playstation Move controller?

28.) ...SEGA caught on to this idea?

29.) ...people didn't steal ideas from other games?

30.) ...this game was only available on the Wii?

There you go, another 30 list for all you fans out there. (For those of you who are not aware, this game is based on a show/movie that came out by the same name. Although the movie is more about love/romance crap, the game is more of a "Rescue The Princess From The Evil Bad Buys". [Actually, it's more like "Beating the crap out of the EX boyfreinds who OWN her"])

Glad to see this thread is still here, thank you all for keeping this going. I know I don't get on much, but that's the price I pay for having a job, having a life, and paying my bills. Sometimes we have to sacrifice the things we enjoy so we can have the life we want. Good to see you all doing well and this Union is still alive. Keep on writing.

Wow, almost a year since last time - it feels like only ten months. 

*in a loud thunderous voice* PEEEEEEEKKKKKKKAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA, I have DONE IT again... 1 whole year of staying away... and now... Yes... OH YES... I AM BACK... AND THIS POST IS BACK... HA HA HA HA... YOU THINK I DIE JUST BECAUSE OF 1 YEAR OF SILENCE??? YOU FOOLS!!! BLOOD HAS BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE AND NOW I MUST DO WHAT I DO BEST... WHAT IF... !!!

(First off all, congrats on this union still being around. Congratz to all who are still a part of this. And most of all, Congratz to me for keeping this post ALIVE!!!) ^_^ Now, let's get this started so we can get this over with...

*In announcers voice* WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO ANOTHER EDITION TO "WHAT IF"!!! I KNEW I WOULD DISAPPOINT YOU AGAIN, AND SO I SEE I HAVE DISAPPOINTED YOU, AND I WILL CONTINUE TO DISAPPOINT YOU, EVEN IN THE FUTURE!!! ANYWAYS, THIS EDITION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY "DUKE NUKEM FOREVER"!!! BECAUSE, LIKE ME, I TAKE FOR FREAKIN EVER TO COME OUT OF MY HIDING PLACE TO MAKE YOU SEE HOW IT GETS BETTER!!! WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR, LETS DISAPPOINT YOU SOMEMORE...

WHAT IF...

1.) ...the next Duke Nukem takes... you know... Forever?
2.) ...you could use a squirt gun?
3.) ...the babes were real?
4.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to side scrollers?
5.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to 2D?
6.) ...you COULD "Come get some"?
7.) ...the game was called "Duke Platinum"
8.) ...the game was called "Duke Fusionum"
9.) ...Lara Craft and Duke Nukem met?
10.) ...Duke Nukem teamed up with Gears Of War?
11.) ...Duke Nukem was a woman?
12.) ...the game was really called "Punch Sockem"?
13.) ...the game was really called "Nuke Dukem"?
14.) ...the next Duke Nukem, the maps are bigger?
15.) ...the next Duke Nukem, the monsters are bigger?
16.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an RPG?
17.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a racer?
18.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a fighter?
19.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a RTS game?
20.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an MMORPG?
21.) ...Duke Nukem never came out?
22.) ...Doom repalces Duke Nukem series?
23.) ...there was no blood to spill in the game?
24.) ...Duke Nukem ran out of gum... again? (If you don't get it, don't ask)
25.) ...this is the last Duke Nukem game... Forever?
26.) ...Duke Nukem didn't take... Forever?
27.) ...Duke Nukem was really called "Duke Nukem 4Life"?
28.) ...this is only Duke Nukem game we ever need?
29.) ...they tell another Duke Nukem rumor, only to come true in 14 years?
30.) ...this is the last "What If"... Forever?

YES, IT'S DONE, ANOTHER WHAT IF JUST FOR YOU!!! I RULE!!! (But seriously, congratz for being around for so long. Hope to see you guys next year and the years to come. Maybe even continue to bring more "What If" in the future.)

This guy is basically legendary. One for the annuls...the mythos...and the so forth!

1.) the hype will destroy the world---thus why it will take for ever. Without the world it cannot ever be released.
2.) WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION!
3.) WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION!
4.) It would take forever to develop.
5.) It'd be better than Forevre.
6.) Dude, I'd have all the bubblegum in the world! (and one very sore arse, love it Duke. Once again please.
7.) It'd be less explosive.
8.) It would be even more popular.
9.) WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION!
10.) Homoeroticism. To the MAX.
11.) WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION!
12.) The plot would involve violent tube sock masturbation Presumably
13.) He'd be a woman. Which measn: WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION!
14.) The breasts would be too.
15.) The breasts would be too.
16.) Breasts would level up.
17.) There'd be a lot of grid girls
18.) Duke Nukem would be out of gum and kick arse.
19.) Duke would think through his arse kicking before he kicked arse.
20.) Massive, online, wet t-shirt competition!
21.) he'd still be gay.
22.) Doom would be parodying itself.
23.) It would just be one giant wet t-shirt competition
24.) Arses, like I said.
25.) There'd be no more wet t-shirt competitions. :(
26.) Wouldn't have flopped so badly
27.) Teenage, almost underage, wet t-shirt competition
28.) There'd be many sequels to ruin the legacy.
29.) It'd flop again.
30.) I would be sad.

*in a loud thunderous voice* PEEEEEEEKKKKKKKAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA, I have DONE IT again... 1 whole year of staying away... and now... Yes... OH YES... I AM BACK... AND THIS POST IS BACK... HA HA HA HA... YOU THINK I DIE JUST BECAUSE OF 1 YEAR OF SILENCE??? YOU FOOLS!!! BLOOD HAS BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE AND NOW I MUST DO WHAT I DO BEST... WHAT IF... !!!

CooperTeam

*fist into palm* Bring your sh**!

 

WHAT IF...

1.) ...the next Duke Nukem takes... you know... Forever?

CooperTeam

At least it wouldn't take Till The End of Time.

2.) ...you could use a squirt gun?

CooperTeam

Bread, eggs, milk, squirt. 

3.) ...the babes were real?

CooperTeam

WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION! 

4.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to side scrollers?

CooperTeam

It would still be in 3D.

5.) ...Duke Nukem goes back to 2D?

CooperTeam

It would be Doomed. 

6.) ...you COULD "Come get some"?

CooperTeam

I'd go get some all up in this. 

7.) ...the game was called "Duke Platinum"

CooperTeam

Duke LeafGreen and FireRed would follow.

8.) ...the game was called "Duke Fusionum"

CooperTeam

Rated AO for adults only.

9.) ...Lara Craft and Duke Nukem met?

CooperTeam

WET T--okay you get the picture. 

10.) ...Duke Nukem teamed up with Gears Of War?

CooperTeam

Yo, that would b*tchin' son.

11.) ...Duke Nukem was a woman?

CooperTeam

WET--

12.) ...the game was really called "Punch Sockem"?

CooperTeam

I think Sockitoem would be better.

13.) ...the game was really called "Nuke Dukem"?

CooperTeam

The purpose would be to Bill Kill.

16.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an RPG?

CooperTeam

Duke would be in a class all his own. 

17.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a racer?

CooperTeam

Duke would be in a lane all his own. 

18.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a fighter?

CooperTeam

Chuck Norris would be the last boss. 

19.) ...the next Duke Nukem is a RTS game?

CooperTeam

Duke would be on a planet all his own.

20.) ...the next Duke Nukem is an MMORPG?

CooperTeam

Booze would be the currency.

21.) ...Duke Nukem never came out?

CooperTeam

He'd still come. *wink wink nudge nudge*

22.) ...Doom repalces Duke Nukem series?

CooperTeam

We would be Doomed Forever. 

23.) ...there was no blood to spill in the game?

CooperTeam

Everythng would blow up like rose petals.

24.) ...Duke Nukem ran out of gum... again? (If you don't get it, don't ask)

CooperTeam

I don't get it?

27.) ...Duke Nukem was really called "Duke Nukem 4Life"?

CooperTeam

Duke would be a black guy giving out "free anal raping" coupons.

28.) ...this is only Duke Nukem game we ever need?

CooperTeam

Then we have a Need for Duke on our hands. 

30.) ...this is the last "What If"... Forever?

CooperTeam

I'd remember it as an awesome 2D Sidescroller.

30.) ...this is the last "What If"... Forever?

CooperTeam

This scenario is too unlikely to even consider.

*In Announcers Voice* -Looks around, peeks behind the cobwebs and the dust bunnies- "IS ANYONE HERE!?!?!" -Echos- "BWAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA!!! ONCE AGAIN, I HAVE DONE IT, A FULL YEAR WITH ABSOLUTE SILENCE!!! (Well, okay, 1 year and 1 day, but lets not get technical and say we did) I JUST CAN'T DIE, YOU CAN BEAT THE CRAP OUTTA ME, YOU CAN BLAST ME WITH A THOUSAND MISSILES, YOU CAN TOSS A MILLION GRENADES, BUT I JUST KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE!!! COME ON, SAY IT... YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS... SAY IT, WHO'S YOUR DADDY... -giggles- WELL, OKAY, WHO'S THE "WHAT IF" MASTER... SAY IT... -Listens- THAT'S RIGHT, ME, THE ONE AND ONLY "WHAT IF" MASTER!!! HEY, I KEPT MY MOUTH SHUT FOR A YEAR, I DESERVE TO BE LET OUT ONCE IN A WHILE!!! THIS SUPER SPECIAL EDITION OF "WHAT IF" IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOLLIPOP CHAINSAW, LOLLIPOPS ARE NOT JUST FOR BREAKFAST ANYMORE!!! WHO KNEW EMO CHEERLEADERS THAT OWN CHAINSAWS COULD BE JUST AS CUTE AS A ZOMBIE ITSELF!!! WELL, WITHOUT LISTENING TO MORE POINTLESS BABBLE FROM ME, LET'S GET ON WITH ANOTHER ROUND OF "WHAT IF"!!!

WHAT IF...

1.) ... lollipops didn't make you fat?
2.) ... lollipops didn't make girls look sexy?
3.) ... chainsaws were available for cheerleaders?
4.) ... zombies and cheerleaders got along?
5.) ... guys didn't get turned on by cheerleaders?
6.) ... they stop making games with sexy girls?
7.) ... all zombie games weren't so easy to figure out?
8.) ... they stopped putting weapons in zombie games?
9.) ... zombie games weren't so "B-movie" like?
10.) ... you could play a zombie?
11.) ... the girl used a lollipop to kill zombies?
12.) ... the girl used cheers to kill zombies?
13.) ... her boyfriend became a cyborg?
14.) ... all you could do was watch your friends die?
15.) ... cheerleaders stop wearing panties?
16.) ... cheerleaders wore pants instead of dresses?
17.) ... zombies were cheerleaders?
18.) ... you played a zombie who's hell bent on killing humans with a chainsaw?
19.) ... you were a cheerleader hunter?
20.) ... the game came with instructions? (If you don't get it, buy the game and see what you get)
21.) ... you could use a gun in the game?
22.) ... zombies were prettier than cheerleaders?
23.) ... cheerleaders are really the zombies?
24.) ... you could play a jock?
25.) ... your chainsaw didn't come with optional extras?
26.) ... they never make another zombie game again?
27.) ... they stop making zombie games with excessive blood?
28.) ... Resident Evil was the real reason for Lollipop Chainsaw?
29.) ... Resident Evil teamed up with Lollipop Chainsaw?
30.) ... the next zombie game has children as our heroes?

YES!!! ANOTHER 30 JUST FOR YOU!!! (Congratz to The Writers Lounge for staying around another year for us writers, and thanks for everyone for their participation, I hope everyone has had as much fun reading this as I have had writing this.)

BTW, iloveflash... in that comment about "What if he ran out of gum... again"... and you said you didn't get it, well... In Duke Nukem 3D, one of his comments was "I'm here to kick @$$ and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of gum..." That's where the comment and WHAT IF came from. But then, I am an old fart so only I would know this... LOL... anyways, there's your explaination... Clear now?

Also, just for reference, the comment is actually from a "B-movie" starring Rowdy Roddy Piper. The movie is called "They Live". In the movie, he enters a bank by accident with a shotgun and an ammo strap around his shoulder. People see him and stare in confusion, so he says "I'm here to chew bubble gum, and kick @$$... (Long pause) and I'm all out of gum..." (Yes, backwards to how Duke Nukem says it, prolly for copyright reasons, or to make us find out where the comment came from.) But, nevertheless, that is where the ORIGINAL comment came from. This has been your gaming history for the day.

1.) ... lollipops didn't make you fat?
Then they wouldn't make girls look sexy.
2.) ... lollipops didn't make girls look sexy?
Then they wouldn't make you fat.
3.) ... chainsaws were available for cheerleaders?
Lollipop Chainsaw would be Icypole Cheerdance.
4.) ... zombies and cheerleaders got along?
Buffy would kill them both.
5.) ... guys didn't get turned on by cheerleaders?
They would be real gymnasts instead.
6.) ... they stop making games with sexy girls?
Cristiano Ronaldo wouldn't be in FIFA or PES.
7.) ... all zombie games weren't so easy to figure out?
They'd all be puzzle games.
8.) ... they stopped putting weapons in zombie games?
They'd all be puzzle games.
9.) ... zombie games weren't so "B-movie" like?
They'd all be puzzle games.
10.) ... you could play a zombie?
They'd all be Stubbzzle games.
11.) ... the girl used a lollipop to kill zombies?
She'd be sucking on a chainsaw, and it wouldn't be a very long game.
12.) ... the girl used cheers to kill zombies?
She did, didn't she?
13.) ... her boyfriend became a cyborg?
He did, didn't he?
14.) ... all you could do was watch your friends die?
I'd Michael Jackson gif.
15.) ... cheerleaders stop wearing panties?
They'd wear boxer shorts, and fight for medals...oh wait, that finally happened this year.
16.) ... cheerleaders wore pants instead of dresses?
Don't they were skirts?
17.) ... zombies were cheerleaders?
Necrophilia would be rampant.
18.) ... you played a zombie who's hell bent on killing humans with a chainsaw?
The humans would try to eat it to death.
19.) ... you were a cheerleader hunter?
See above: Buffy.
20.) ... the game came with instructions? (If you don't get it, buy the game and see what you get)
I'm not going to buy it go get a manual that doesn't even exist! :(
21.) ... you could use a gun in the game?
It wouldn't have much of an effect anyway---oh wait, wrong mythical beast.
22.) ... zombies were prettier than cheerleaders?
Video game swould more accurately represent reality.
23.) ... cheerleaders are really the zombies?
Sucking on a chainsaw would make sense.
24.) ... you could play a jock?
He probably wouldn't be sucking on a lollipop on the game's cover. In fact it probably wouldn't be called lollipop chainsaw. Hardcore Jock Chainsaw?
25.) ... your chainsaw didn't come with optional extras?
The lollipop would.
26.) ... they never make another zombie game again?
Perhaps a real voodo zombie game would be made.
27.) ... they stop making zombie games with excessive blood?
See above: Plants vs. Zombies.
28.) ... Resident Evil was the real reason for Lollipop Chainsaw?
It is.
29.) ... Resident Evil teamed up with Lollipop Chainsaw?
Lollipop Chainsaw would go from deliberately funny, to unintentionally funny.
30.) ... the next zombie game has children as our heroes?
Once again, probably wouldn't sucking on lollipops, though it would make more sense if they were.

5.) ... guys didn't get turned on by cheerleaders?
They would be real gymnasts instead.

Foolz3h

But real gymnasts are 4 feet tall and 15 years old. That would be just weird.