Metal Shadow Prelude is live

NEWCOMERS TO THE SERIES, PLEASE GET AHEAD IN LIFE (CLICK FOR SUMMARIES OF CHAPTERS 1-14)

Holy crap, how did I forget to inform my biggest fans about this. I will slice off a chunk of my genitalia tonight as punishment.

Metal Shadow Prelude is live. Obviously, there will be no drafts after this one, since I can't edit anything I release. :P Way to lock me into submission.

All chapters can now be read in one sitting (10 minutes), for better reading-on-the-go. I might do two chapter releases every weekend, three if I can.

Anyway, enjoy the official, official, final, final release of this long running serial. Oh, and to anyone who thinks they know how the Prelude is going to end... You don't. :P

Well? You read em or not brah!?

Yeah, I read em.

I don't know if it is the size of each post (I'm not forcing myself to read for an hour anymore), but I feel like I'm getting a better grasp on the story and the importance of the events as I go along this time. While I thought it was a novel idea when the agents where named L, E, Z, G etc, I think it works better the way you're doing it now. 

I have found a great way for dealing with writer's block. I've decided to force myself to write at least 500 words a day and then when I don't feel like writing, I just imagine you standing behind me with a whip. Works like a charm.

That is what you look like in real life, right?

Anyway, you just imagine I'm standing behind you and you're good.

WHIP!

ME WANT MOAR! YOU WRITE! 

OUCH, FACK.

It works! It really works!

Is it unfinished as in not edited, or is the chapter longer?

By the way, at one point you called Lair, Liar. Wasn't paying much attention to typos, but that one stood out. 

My mind is an ancient Egyptian labyrinth full of locusts and hidden chambers when it comes to writing. Nothing to envy here.

On that note chapters 8-10 are complete, and I'm currently working on 11. Should I get this show back on the road? If writer's block hits again don't blame me!

Hey, flash, do you prefer comments on JukePop or here.

Anyway, chapter 8 and 9 are great by themselves and a great build-up for chapter 10. 

How'd you know I released them? :P

Anywhere's fine, although I'd personally be too impatient to leave a website to leave a comment on another website if I thought the chapter was awesome. Actually I would probably just write "moar" all over the place.

Everything from chapter 8 to 12 is now on jukepop. Additionally, I've come up with something for the fans!

Go here for a preview: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E8yPaC23a-Y98NLVvoDHCs1Uk2BYOmQ33aZSRt0f8gM/edit?usp=sharing

I tried posting this on Jukepop in the comment's section, but the site seems to be marking it as spam and repeatedly deleting the post. And I'm not sure if I'm allowed to link to the doc from within the chapter. Either way, the system's not finished yet, so it may be a good thing every reader of the series doesn't know about it yet. That makes you guys the guinea pigs!

Check out the doc for the details.

How'd you know I released them? :P

iloveflash

I check in every weekend around the time I upload chapters of ARoGB.

Anyway, about the ability list, I'm a bit conflicted. First of all, the impression I'm getting is that after an event happen we get to vote for how much that event changes the skill level of the involved character(s). Is that basically right.

I think a story that to a degree is affected by input from readers is an intriguing idea, but on the other hand: Remember what you said in my thread about multiple versions of a story and how you liked to know that one story was the definitive one? If users surprise you with how they vote, will you have to altar the story somewhat or just try to write around it? The main problem is that years of hanging around on gameSpot have weakened my trust in democratic decisions (will CoD ever not win readers choice for game of the year?)

Also, I read chapters 10-12. A lot of great action here. As far as character development goes it iis quite slow, but I guess that is on purpose and you want a bit revealed per chapter rather than have a few really dialogue-heavy chapters.

Your idea is spot on, though I won't limit the voting to only specific events.

It's true that involving the reader to this degree may cause a setback down the line. It's one of the reasons why I've decided to test it out with you guys first before opening the floodgates. In any case, my intention is to alter the rulesets if/when something goes wrong so that I'll be free to keep writing as I need to, not the other way around (alter my writing to accomodate the rules).

The intention is to give readers control over the LENGTH of the lists, not the content of them. Characters with 0 abilities can still use limit breaks, i.e. can afford to use at least 1 ability in the story as long as it's "cool", and I can determine what ability that is. Push comes to shove, I'll work the idea on my own and reintroduce it later when the rules are more concrete. For now, help out as much as you can by voting on those parameters.

BTW, this system is giving me great ideas for the video game of MS that I aim to make one day. All contributions may improve the game!

I just unleashed a monster: Chapter 13: Limit Break part 2

I've decided to adjust the rules so that limit breaks are not limited to one ability. Cuz that chapter was too obscene.

I may also expand the rules to somehow make the abilities determine the parameters, so they can work in a loop. Something like:

Readers vote on parameters => parameters determine # of abilities => abilities adjust parameters.

Still unsure how that last part will work, but I expect it to be failproof so that the ACTUAL parameters of a character will come to light regardless of what people vote for.

I may ALSO increase the threshold of the parameters (from 1-7 to 1-9 perhaps, with 3 being "standard" instead of 2). Lotsa work here.

Had a bit of writer's block yesterday, but cranked out another supreme one. Next section of the story will be RIVETING.

Chaptah 14: Memory of Gineden

www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/15

New chap out. Most of the dialogue is written in the Old Tongue. Because I love giving myself and my readers headaches.

http://jukepopserials.com/home/read/15

I've uploaded pictures of the characters to that ability list.

Voila.

This document might evolve into the ultimate trivia doc for the series.

From right here:

http://pinterest.com/kevinamlewis/metal-shadow-esque/

Just pooped out three big ones; ch.16-18 of the Prelude. I'm calling this the Summer of Shadow because I will be upping the release schedule so that the Prelude is complete by early August. It'll be 3-4 chapters released per week from now on.

Reed aht: http://www.jukepopserials.com/home/share/15/?c=f2lrcHMt23Bs85by&key=26a719ac-b767-415a-ab61-952a13cc6c36

And just to reiterate, these chapters can be read in one sitting, or in about 10 minutes, 15 at most. This is because I'm constantly searching for ways to keep the word limit for each chapter at 1.3k, which seems to be a sweet spot for me writing-wise. This unfortunately may not apply near the end when the chapters get longer and denser, but I doubt anyone will notice by then.

...And I just realized I said "pooped" instead of "popped". CIassic.

Updated the ability lists as of chapter 21: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E8yPaC23a-Y98NLVvoDHCs1Uk2BYOmQ33aZSRt0f8gM/edit#

EDIT: And the series is now at chapter 24.

And just to reiterate, these chapters can be read in one sitting, or in about 10 minutes, 15 at most. This is because I'm constantly searching for ways to keep the word limit for each chapter at 1.3k, which seems to be a sweet spot for me writing-wise. This unfortunately may not apply near the end when the chapters get longer and denser, but I doubt anyone will notice by then.

iloveflash

Remember when I said this? Yeah. It's happening. I'm failing miserably at keeping the word limit at 1300. M I S E R A B L Y.

Reading time, it's reading time. Hey, everybody it's reading time!

I re-read chapter 14 and:

"Do you even lift"

I'm not a big fan of using memes in stories set in different worlds. It just makes no sense in context. I for one was just annoyed when I discovered Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan were named after Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan.

Chapter 15 and 16:

I wonder. Did I misunderstand Noa last time or is she a lot less fearsome in this draft? I remember her as pretty evil and insanely powerful last time around, but in this draft I'm not sure if I should be rooting for her or not.

On the art of differnt languages: I don't like how it is being used here. I am much more of a fan of using a couple words in the language, maybe with an explanation of what it means, and maybe its meaning is something that no English word quite covers. When such a word is used, it shows the significance of a particular virtue, tradition, value etc among the people whose language it is.

My main issue with the way it is used here, is that after a while I don't care and just want to read the translation. When that happens, it is annoying how I have to skip a third of a line, read a third of the line, skip next third and so on. It is alright the way it is first used, that is.

"Text in alternate language," character said. "Same text translated to English."

It just becomes annoying in a large paragraphs. I'd rather you gathered all the AL speech at the start of the paragraph, followed by the translation, but that still wouldn't be perfect. So I'm more a fan of making it clear that they're actually talking in their language, but then right the whole paragraph in English anyway.

Fair enough about the meme thing! I try to be as discreet as possible so that people who don't know what the meme is wouldn't be able to tell, while people who do know about it can get a kick out of it. I'll never just blatantly throw one into the text.

THANK YOU for saying that about Noa. As I was writing those chapters, and reading those chapters, I felt the same thing. I figured out that the reason is because the last Noa was extremely emo. Her outlook on the world was relentlessly black and dreary. In this one--those two chapters in particular--she's showing appreciation for things, people, ideas, and even an ability to be reasoned with. This never happened ONCE in the original drafts.

Unfortunately, the next few chapters will find her only growing less emo and becoming even more passionate about her external (but in what I hope is a good way), so I've sort of missed the opportunity with these early chapters to establish the previous Noa's personality. It definitely saddens me that she lost some of her menace this time around.

That said, I've decided to be very careful from now on about how much emotion I allow Noa to show. I definitely want the emo Noa back.

The text thing was entirely an experiment by my inner geek. I take full responsibility for annoying you with it. :P I'm curious if you will feel the same way when some of the words show up later in the story.

IN OTHER NEWS, CHAPTERS 25 - 27 ARE LIVE. THE PRINCESS IS RESCUED, BUT THERE'S A LOT OF SMOOCHING GOING ON HERE.

This is where all the cool kids come to hang out, right? 

Just popped in to say I've been following your updates on Jukepop, and I gotta commend you for your output. Had a few-week lull thanks to the drudgery of job training and whatnot, so I'm glad I've got something to look forward to. I'll post wot i think tonight or so!

Heads up, I've been impressed, so keep at it and further onward!

"The Agents craned their necks as a beastie ten times larger than the largest Taur rose out of the pit"

I don't have much to say about chapter 17 and 18. A good settle in between battles chapter followed by a good action chapter. Out of curiosity though: Does ten time larger mean it weighs ten times as much or that it is ten times taller?

Out of curiosity though: Does ten time larger mean it weighs ten times as much or that it is ten times taller?waZelda

Taller. I don't think I've ever seen "larger" indicate weight size.

This is where all the cool kids come to hang out, right? 

Sharpie125

Ahaha! Not anymore...

I'm not sure which of our other series took all the attention.

Just popped in to say I've been following your updates on Jukepop, and I gotta commend you for your output. Had a few-week lull thanks to the drudgery of job training and whatnot, so I'm glad I've got something to look forward to. I'll post wot i think tonight or so!

Heads up, I've been impressed, so keep at it and further onward!

Sharpie125

Much appreciated! Glad you're enjoying it.

What job requires several-week training though?

Much appreciated! Glad you're enjoying it.

What job requires several-week training though?

iloveflash

It's only on-call (postal plant downtown), but man, the kind of bullshit and hoops I had to jump through just to apply/get an interview... >_> Shoulda clarified, that took since the end of April, then actual training for a week. It's no fun waking up at 5am to catch the train. Needless to say, the only thing I wanted to do each day was draw before I had to hit bed at 10pm. But I'm back to my old crappy sleep schedule, where peak writing hours is at 4am!

Anyway that's off topic. So I remember reading a few weeks back where Elf got cleaved in the gut, and I was like hooly shet. I think that's about the first time a character got seriously wounded and not just knocked out (I originally thought Noa killed the agents when she escaped by ripping their jewels out... what a twist that would be, eh?). So I'm not sure if I like how seemingly fast Elf has bounced back in this last chapter. The last time we were with Delta, he was bumming everyone out, but I liked that tense feeling of danger, and the disarray that goes on after number one goes down. Not that Elf needs to die and everyone spends a few chapters crying about it... obviously it's early and there's still a lot of time, but I see dramatic potential from that little incident. If it's Ziare's fault, it needs to come back to Elf in some way. Or if Elf thinks it's her own fault, I definitely want to see some follow up to see how it's affected her mentally (what this means in the future regarding her attitude, disposition towards her team members, etc). Close call like that, can't be brushing it off too easy!

Love the setup between Ghost/Van/the less enthused members. It'll be fun to read what goes down between all of them. Van needs to hurry up and get off his ass and into the fray (figuratively speaking, because I'll say again the parts I like the most are the lulls between battles.) This might be a personal preference of mine, but the parts I really like are the glimpses of history that's established between many of the players, and how that makes them act. I'm probably just a sucker for stirring up a dramatic brouhaha, but I really want to see what might make Elf squad fall apart. And I say this because all of the agents have strong personalities, the tension should be even greater, pulling the group in different directions. The setup's already there. Can you give any hints as to if you might be going in this direction, or are you thinking that's a flat out no? 

Anyway, good stuff. Really exciting that so much content's been posted, and so much has already happened, and just keeps ramping up. Keep up the pace.

Also, Ziare should be fired for his incompetence. That is all.

At last, my first in-depth review of the latest chapters! I'm tempted to just sit back and take a smoke, listen to Juno Reactor and mull your words over. But today's Thursday, I'm planning to release two chapters on Saturday (this week's a chillout release) and I haven't started writing a single one yet. This is no time for kicking back!

A lot of your questions will be answered this week, mainly those regarding how the Agents will interact. I don't want to spoil anything, but yes, it will be some really juicy drama. Whether the group gets pulled apart or not, I'll let you be the judge. Either way I'm hoping to really make everyone fall in love with Elf Squad this week.

Regarding Elf's close brush with death, I'm glad someone got a holy sheet moment out of it! Her overall state following that incident probably won't be elaborated upon, and I'm hoping that as you get to know her in the upcoming chapters, you'll understand why. And don't be so harsh on Ziare! He's just a white-shirt Agent, trying to live up to the Elf Squad name.

Although it seems like there's a lot of time left in the Prelude, there really isn't. The Prelude ends at chapter 52 in my outline. Considering that the main underlying plot, the one which will unify the Prelude with the main canon, hasn't yet been revealed, the amount of chapters we have left is criminally short.

Fair enough about the meme thing! I try to be as discreet as possible so that people who don't know what the meme is wouldn't be able to tell, while people who do know about it can get a kick out of it. I'll never just blatantly throw one into the text.

iloveflash

I can agree with your policy, but I think you failed here. My main objection is that it seems weird in context. Imagine if it was any other spell and you were not making a reference. Don't you think this dialogue segment is a bit odd?

"What was the name of that new spell again?"

"Do you even fireball." 

On larger, I might be confused, but I thought it was the go to synonom for weighs more in documentaries and quizzes.

"Taurs. Lupies. Swynoars. Crocjaws. And...he gulped. Bearthaws." 

Am I right to assume that those beastie resemble ox, wolves, boars, crocodiles and bears, respectively. 

    Garruh! Hurr! 

I guess it is an original way of writing it, the narration being cut-off, but I just find it jarring since I have no context for who the narrator is. 

"Scared of a little giant mythical creature?"

You win ten internets for this sentence.

Man, the reveal in chapter 23 is brilliant.