pspitus presents: A Zero's Tale

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pspitus

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#1 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts

Check here to see how your characters are doing in my tale of epic messed up proportions......

 

Jet E. Evil(pspitus)    

Health: 65%

Condition: Poor

Equipment: Rag-tag clothes.

Location: Sirania Castle Prison

 

Aidan(Aidan129): 

Health:70%

Condition: Normal.....somewhat.

Equipment: Formal attire.

Location: Sirania Castle Prison

 

Red(red0584):

Health: 76%

Condition: Confused, and sweaty.

Equipment: Formal attire.

Location: Catherine's House

 

Princess Courtney(Courtney817):

Health: 100%

Condition: Beautiful ;)

Equipment:  High Quality Dress. Diamond Shoes. 

Location: Sirania Castle

 

Princess Jennifer(twilightlullaby): 

Health: 100%

Condition: Gorgeous ;)

Equipment: High Quality Dress. Diamond Shoes. 

Location: Sirania Castle

 

King Jager(Marrium1): 

Health: 100%

Condition: Rich, Powerful

Equipment: Kingly robes. Diamond staff. Monocle. 

Location: Sirania Castle

 

Blaze C. Ember(th3d3c3ption)

Health: 59%

Condition: Smelly, repulsive

Equipment: Alternate personality-Ember, rag tag clothes 

Location: Sirania Castle Prison

 

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#2 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
Preview coming soon........
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Dragon66116

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#3 Dragon66116
Member since 2007 • 25536 Posts
You forgot someone. ;)
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#4 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
Look again. ;)
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#5 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts

A Zero's Tale preview (Sponsered by Dr. McKenzie Cola, "Taste the Sweatness")

*Que awesome movie preview guy's voice*

(Play this song(Castle Crashers Main Theme) while you read, to increase movie preview epic-ness)

In a world where pancakes turn into waffles.

In a world where sushi reigns supreme.

In a world where everything is logically nonsensible.

A band of unlikely heroes will rise from the brink of chaos to ensure the chaos itself. Did that make sense? Probably not.

From the messed up mind of pspitus......This winter, experience an adventure just like any other, but totally different. Yeah. Dive deep into an adventure experience filled with passion, bromance, anxiety, and cheap one liners.

This is.......A Zero's Tale. 

Rated PG-17 (Parental Guidance is suggested due to scenes of pony violence, messed up situations, cruel and abusive language, egotistical individuals, B&Js, sushi graphic depictions, empty cheese- zits boxes, and much more explicit content)

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Dragon66116

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#6 Dragon66116
Member since 2007 • 25536 Posts
Thanks. :) Make my name Michael. ;)
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Courtney817

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#7 Courtney817
Member since 2009 • 12652 Posts

I'm Courtney, of course ;)

And we certainly do not need to relive the B&J incident...

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twilightlullaby

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#8 twilightlullaby
Member since 2008 • 5143 Posts
Call me Jennifer, I guess. I'd say *****...but that's no fun. :P
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#9 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
You guys are going to use your real names? Maybe I should use mine........nah.....
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#10 GameBlender
Member since 2007 • 672 Posts
I have an idea. Can you put me in it as "DSitus?"
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Aidan129

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#11 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

DSitus? :lol: Well, there's a rival for pspitus if I ever saw one :lol: I will be known as... ... "Aidan" in this epic adventure just like any other. And I will have my Mommy watch it with me cuz she doesn't approve of egotistical individuals. Wait! BROMANCE!? I hope it doesn't involve me! I've always wanted to see Red and Marrium together, though. :P j/k

And... *cough*Twilight's name isn't really Jenny*cough*

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#12 th3d3c3ption
Member since 2008 • 4241 Posts

th3d3c3ption: Just name me the hidden warrior or guardian leader flight lead (pspitus) :)

Blaze: Charizard warrior for me man:)

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#13 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
Alright it's time to start working on the story now. I really wish I could animate it or something, but I just don't have the skillz to do it, oh well, it's just going to have to be a script for now.
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#14 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts

(Note: With each chapter I'm going to try to pick a song that matches the scene. You can choose to play it if you want to enhance the story's experience. Also check the main page for "character status". This is going to be one EPIC story. Hahaha! Enjoy the premiere episode)

A Zero's Tale

Song: Banjo Kazooie Nuts & Bolts: Spiral Mountain

Chapter 1- cheese-IdioTS

Scene: A junkyard filled with some of the most useless things in the world- from tooth brushes to glittering jewelry. The garbage is stacked upon each other creating huge heaping piles of trash. Mountains, upon mountains of garbage can be seen for miles. The smell is absolutely repulsive, it's a cross between the Stench Squad and a twenty year old diaper left out in the sun.

Enter in Red.

Red: [Impatiently] God, what the heck is taking them so long? [Continues munching on a bag of week year old cheese-ZITS] They should have been here over an hour ago, dude what gives? [Notices that the box of cheese-ZITS is empty] Awwww no more. [Throws empty box into the air.]

[The box falls and hits Aidan on the head who just arrives on the scene]

Aidan: [Rubs head in pain] Dude, what the hell was that for?
Red: My bad.
Aidan: [Picks up the empty box of cheese-ZITS, holds it up to his mouth and rapidly taps the box]
Red: Ummm…..there's no more.
Aidan: [Glares at Red] Give me some cheese-ZITS man.
Red: I don't have anymore.
Aidan: Give me some cheese-ZITS.
Red: I don't have any.
Aidan: C'mon, give me some.
Red: I don't freakin' have any.
Aidan: C'mon bro. I know you do, you're always eating something.
Red: [Mildly irritated] For the last time, I don't have any!
Aidan: Yes you do, quit lying dude. [Shoves hand into Red's pants]
Red: [Shocked and awed] What the h3ll are you doing? What makes you think I have some cheese-ZITS in my pants?
Aidan: What? Everyone I work with at B&Js smuggles food into their pants. [Takes hand out of Red's pants] Empty, damn it.

[Jet E. Evil walks into the scene with an evil looking grin on his face]

Aidan: Hey what's up my brudda? Want some Cheese-ZITS? [Holds up the empty box of cheese-ZITS]
Jet: Heck yeah! [Puts hand in box] Hey there's nothing in here! [Takes hand out of box, and looks at Red] Alright Red, fork over those Cheese-ZITS
Red: What the hell man, do I look like a freakin' food tree to you?
Jet: What? You always seem to be eating something.
Aidan: [With a smile on his face] That's exactly what I said.
Red: [Irritated] I don't have any Cheese-ZITS you guys, so back off!
Jet: [Looks at Aidan] Did you check his pants?
Red: [Angered] Why would I keep food in my pants?
Aidan: Yeah bro, I already checked.
Jet: That's too bad. Oh well. I don't even like Cheese-ZITS anyway.
Aidan: Yeah, me neither. Only idiots eat Cheese-ZITS.
Red: [Glares at Jet and Aidan] So why the hell do you guys keep bothering me about it if you don't even like it!?
Jet and Aidan: I don't know.
Red: Idiots!

[Jet grabs a nearby cardboard box, and sets it up. The odor emitting from it is completely appalling.]

Jet: Alright. [Brief pause] Let's get this evil meeting started.

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#15 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

...Why O why did I have to put my hands in Red's pants!? :cry:

:lol:

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#16 th3d3c3ption
Member since 2008 • 4241 Posts
it starts off w/ u, Aidan and Red huh? k cool I can handle w/ that:)
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#17 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
Hahaha, don't worry deception, when you get into the story I'll make sure you start off with a "BANG!" if you know what I mean. :twisted:
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#18 Courtney817
Member since 2009 • 12652 Posts

Ooh, I like it so far, pspitus! :D I had nearly forgotten about Red smuggling stuff into a movie theater in his pants :lol: Oh! No, it was in his man purse, but I think Aidan told him not to carry a purse and to be a man and smuggle the food in inside his pants. :lol:

And I like how Aidan's default status is "Somewhat Normal." :lol:

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Marrium1

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#19 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts

My name is Jager.  It's pronounced like Jagger, or for the reeeeeallly stupid like JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAger.

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#20 twilightlullaby
Member since 2008 • 5143 Posts

Thanks to this story, I call cheese-its , Cheese-ZITs now. Thanks a lot, man. :x But otherwise, good job. I expect to see the "Jennifer" character sometime soon though. :P

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#21 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
Yes...*puts on monocle* indeed
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#22 th3d3c3ption
Member since 2008 • 4241 Posts

th3d3c3ption: oh crud:| we know that face anywhere and it isn't pretty

Blaze: no really?! Cuz I'm just glad it isn't me this time

th3d3c3ption: thanks alot bro. :evil:(sarcastically)

Blaze: hey I'm just sayin:oops::P

Hahaha, don't worry deception, when you get into the story I'll make sure you start off with a "BANG!" if you know what I mean. :twisted:pspitus

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#23 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
Hahaha, don't worry deception you AND your buddy will make your grand entrance into my story soon.
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Marrium1

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#24 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
Oh god *puts hand on face* this can't end well.
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#25 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

I just hope I don't put my hands down anyone else's pants. :|

....And now that I think about it, I'm just gonna stop talking about that. This conversation could take some disturbing turns.

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#26 cant_shoot_this
Member since 2008 • 141 Posts

i hope u put me into the storie :)

Name: David

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#27 red0584
Member since 2008 • 4040 Posts
I think you're right, pspitus.... When me and Aidan played on XBL i was eating Cheez-its, when you and me were on XBL, I was eating a pop-tart. Right now i'm eating breakfast:?
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#28 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
How many hours of your day are spent eating food Red?
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#29 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

And he really, REALLY wanted that Oreo I found under my couch, too.

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#30 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts

Oreos are like the physical form of God. 

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#31 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
I wish oreos could be used as currency.....maybe they can....
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#32 Courtney817
Member since 2009 • 12652 Posts
Ooh, the Double Stuffed Mint have to be worth the most because they are the best!
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#33 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts

UUUUUUUUU *shudder* MINT CHOCOLATE IS SOOOOO NASTY.  

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#34 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

That's her favorite. :P It was nice knowing you, Marrium.

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#35 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts
It was nice knowing you Marrium.......maybe if you give Courtney a lifetime supply of mint oreo cookies she'll forgive. Now if it was twilight, then....well....you're screwed. :lol:
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#36 red0584
Member since 2008 • 4040 Posts

Oreos are like the physical form of God. 

Marrium1
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#37 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
I'm glad you agree red. :D
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#38 twilightlullaby
Member since 2008 • 5143 Posts

Now if it was twilight, then....well....you're screwed. :lol:pspitus

What are you saying about me?! :x I'm a nice person...:cry:

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Courtney817

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#39 Courtney817
Member since 2009 • 12652 Posts

UUUUUUUUU *shudder* MINT CHOCOLATE IS SOOOOO NASTY. Marrium1

It's okay ;) Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Even if it is wrong ;)

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Marrium1

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#40 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
My taste buds agree with me, but yes everyone gets there own.
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#41 th3d3c3ption
Member since 2008 • 4241 Posts
uhh pspitus aren't u forgeting ur story 'bout everyone 'bout your zero's tale?
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Aidan129

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#42 Aidan129
Member since 2008 • 16451 Posts

He hasn't been around much this week. Probably busy cleaning toilets or something.

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Marrium1

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#43 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
I'm sure that as soon as he gets back online, he'll make another one. That's how I was when I started my story, I'd make one every day. He might be bored of it already though, or considering his options.
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#44 pspitus
Member since 2006 • 2397 Posts

Just like Aidan said, I've been cleaning toilets this entire week. Hahahaha!!! Sorry if I'm not  online as much you guys, high school has kept me busy, but don't worry I'm still working on the story, in fact, I have the next episode right here. I'll eventually post the story on my profile but you know, McKenzie Fan Club members get that sneak peek. :P Hope you guys enjoy it!

Song: Banjo Kazooie- Gruntilda's Lair (Grunty's Furnace Fun)

Chapter Two : The First Offical Non-official Meeting of Future Evil Business Partners of Sirania (or TFONOMOFEBPOS for short)

Scene: The summer heat continues to beat down on the junkyard.  The smell of dirty diapers, discarded meat patties, and animal corpses lingers in the air. The heat emitting from the sun continues to strengthen the repulsive smell coming from the various trash piles. Jet E. Evil stands next to a cardboard box with an devilish smile on his face.

Jet:  Alright you guys, everyone get into the box.

[Red and Aidan look at each other with a confused expression on their face]

Red: Wait…..what?
Aidan: Dude, you've gotta be kidding me.
Jet: No, I'm being serious you guys, [demanding] get inside the box!
Aidan: [approaches the disgusting cardboard box, and pokes it] Ummm… bro, [snickers] don't you think it's a little too small?
Red: [looks at Aidan with disbelief] What are you, stupid? You should be asking, "Why the hell would we go inside the box?"
Aidan: Well, why not?
Red: [struggling] Well…..because….it's stupid.
Aidan: You're stupid!
Red: That's it, I'm not giving any Cheese-ZITS to you.
Aidan: [gasps] So you did have cheese-ZITS! You freakin' liar!
Red: [Angered] I already told you, I don't have any Cheese-ZITS
Aidan: But you just said-

[Jet quickly steps in.]

Jet: [irritated] Will you guys calm down, and get inside the box already so we can start this meeting?
[Aidan quickly jumps inside the cramped cardboard box, Jet quickly joins him]
Jet: [looks at Red] C'mon, there's room for one more.
Red: [shakes head] Why would I get in there with you guys?
Jet: It's custom man, every villain holds a secret evil meeting in his secret evil base.
Red: But it's a box.
Jet: Exactly. Nobody would ever suspect a group of evil villains to have a meeting in a smelly old box.
[Realizing he can't win the argument, Red quickly hops into the cardboard box. The box begins to stretch outwards. The slightest movement will cause it to collapse.]
Jet: [clears throat] Alright, it seems like everyone is here and accounted for, let the First Official Non-Official Meeting of Future Evil Business Partners begin. Now, let me ask you guys something, where are we right now?
Aidan: In a junkyard.
Red: In a box.
Jet: Correct, were in a junkyard inside a box, and do you know why?
Aidan and Red: [glancing at each other] No, not really.
Jet: It's because were going to pull off our first evil assignment.

[Aidan and Red's eyes widen with excitement]

Jet: [strongly] Evil is in our blood, it's in our genes, it's in our hearts. From the moment we were born in Sirania, I knew we were destined to become evil rulers. How? [short pause] I don't know, I just did.
Red: [interrupts] But how did you know?
Aidan: Yeah bro, why are do we have to be evil?
Jet: Because it's no fun being good. [clarifies] Being evil is something you have to feel, you don't really need a reason to actually become evil, you sort of just…..do it. For example, do you guys know why you enjoy playing video games?
Red: No.
Aidan: Not really.
Jet: Exactly, being evil is just like a videogame. You enjoy  playing  games not because you HAVE to, but because you WANT to. Understand?
Aidan: Yeah, I think I get it, it's like when I meet a hot chick. I enjoy playing her not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to.
Red: Or when I feel the urge to eat every moment I get. I eat not because I HAVE to, but because I WANT to.
Jet: [chuckling] Yeah, I suppose you get the idea.

[The cardboard box is reaching its limit. It begins to rip along the edges.]

Jet: Anyways our first evil mission is rather plain and simple. [looks at Aidan] And I think you'll enjoy this one man.
Aidan: What are you talking about dude?
Jet: Our first mission is to infiltrate Sirania Castle's 17th Annual Ball.
Red: [confused] Dancing? That doesn't sound like anything Aidan would enjoy.
Jet: No, wait, you didn't let me finish. Were going to infiltrate Sirania Castle's 17th Annual Ball and get up close and personal with a couple of girls.
[Aidan's eyes begin to widen, and a huge grin appears on his face]
Aidan: Yes…go on…
Jet: After we get the girls to fall in love with us, that's when we'll….. [pauses for dramatic tension]
Aidan: [excited] Tell us! We need to know!
Jet: [continues] ….break their hearts!
Red: [snickers] Hahaha!!! Man, you are EVIL!
Aidan: [with confidence] Oh, I get a girl and I get to break her heart on the same day? Man, I'm a playa!
Red: [still confused] Wait a second, how is dating a couple of girls going to help us take over the Siranian Kingdom?
Jet: Well Red, the girls we meet aren't going to be just any ordinary girls. [grins] They're going to be none other than Princess Courtney, and Princess Jennifer, King Jager's lovely daughters.
Red: [in disbelief] No way!
Aidan: [with attitude] Alright, get to meet some hot chicks!
Jet: I want you guys to remember one thing.
Red and Aidan: What?
Jet: Were only using them to get to King Jager, and that's it.
Red and Aidan: [in agreement] We understand.
Jet: With that settled, I declare this evil meeting over.

[The cardboard box finally falls apart. Jet, Red, and Aidan topple out of the box and fall hard onto the ground.]

Jet: [laughing] Man, we must have been really evil today, normally these cardboard boxes last a good three meetings.
Red: [looks at Jet with disbelief] How can someone this evil be so weird at the same time?
Aidan: [to himself] Hot girls, hot girls, going to meet some hot girls.
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Marrium1

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#45 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
I'm Courtney and Twilight's dad? Awkward. :P I'm king though, that's hella tight.
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#46 red0584
Member since 2008 • 4040 Posts
*claps*
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#47 twilightlullaby
Member since 2008 • 5143 Posts
As far as I can tell (and I might be wrong), there are three guys and two girls. Tell me, how exactly is this going to work? :P
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#48 Courtney817
Member since 2009 • 12652 Posts

:lol: I suppose we'll have to wait and see!! And I like that Twilight is my sister! :D

Very good job, pspitus! :D I think you have Aidan down quite well. Except that he doesn't say "bro."

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Marrium1

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#49 Marrium1
Member since 2005 • 15101 Posts
People who say bro make me think of...warm...soda...O_o
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Dragon66116

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#50 Dragon66116
Member since 2007 • 25536 Posts
*waits until I'm mentioned :P*