Cracked article about what sucks in GTAV.

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#1 Posted by turtlethetaffer (16609 posts) -

So here is a Cracked article describing why GTAV really is not that good of a game. It seems as if some people can look past all the cool technology and see that Rockstar doesn't really make games that are fun. Or, at least, they bog the fun down with menial tasks that don't really seem to have much point other than filler.

Discuss.

#2 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

I caught on to Rockstars design philosophy when GTA IV came out. Rockstar is all about more stuff and bigger worlds but boring as hell.

#3 Posted by seanmcloughlin (38208 posts) -

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

You simply press pause and wait for a short loading screen to finish. This will bring up your map. Scroll along the map with your thumbstick for a moment before you remember this isn't actually the map. It's only the menu option for the map. Press A to go to the actual map and search for your destination. If your destination is too far away and you'd rather play the game instead of driving across it, exit out of the map and open your smart phone. Slowly scroll down your contact list since quickly is an option. Press A to call a taxi. Let it ring until a dispatcher picks up. If you are not playing the black character, a taxi will arrive 15 to 30 seconds later. It will be approximately one block from you, so look for it in the center of an exploding traffic jam it caused. It may start confusedly fleeing the crime scene, so tap the sprint button before it gets away. If you're not hit by emergency vehicles, you may be able to catch it! Now, simply scroll through the 75 possible locations until you find the one you want!

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

#4 Posted by XboxDone74 (2047 posts) -

rockstar makes good "3 stooges" type games. slapstick fun but no substance

#5 Edited by speedfreak48t5p (6606 posts) -

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

You simply press pause and wait for a short loading screen to finish. This will bring up your map. Scroll along the map with your thumbstick for a moment before you remember this isn't actually the map. It's only the menu option for the map. Press A to go to the actual map and search for your destination. If your destination is too far away and you'd rather play the game instead of driving across it, exit out of the map and open your smart phone. Slowly scroll down your contact list since quickly is an option. Press A to call a taxi. Let it ring until a dispatcher picks up. If you are not playing the black character, a taxi will arrive 15 to 30 seconds later. It will be approximately one block from you, so look for it in the center of an exploding traffic jam it caused. It may start confusedly fleeing the crime scene, so tap the sprint button before it gets away. If you're not hit by emergency vehicles, you may be able to catch it! Now, simply scroll through the 75 possible locations until you find the one you want!

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

That sounds bloody hilarious! I wish that had happened to me during the 100 hours of playtime I had with the campaign.

#6 Posted by Mr-Powers (158 posts) -

They must be smoking crack.

#7 Posted by foxhound_fox (87366 posts) -

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

People use the taxis? Wow, lazy.

I took the taxi once in GTAIV and got bored, jumped out, stole a vehicle and drove myself.

#8 Posted by good_sk8er7 (4320 posts) -

@seanmcloughlin said:

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

People use the taxis? Wow, lazy.

I took the taxi once in GTAIV and got bored, jumped out, stole a vehicle and drove myself.

The good thing is that in GTAV you can instantly get from place to place. You don't have to ride all the way there.

#9 Edited by PhazonBlazer (11500 posts) -

Yeah, that Taxi thing never happened once. It was always fast and always came right to me.

#10 Posted by seanmcloughlin (38208 posts) -

@seanmcloughlin said:

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

People use the taxis? Wow, lazy.

I took the taxi once in GTAIV and got bored, jumped out, stole a vehicle and drove myself.

I use the taxis constantly because I always need to get to certain locations when recording videos of it.

You can just set a way point, get in a taxi and skip right to that way point. Saves so much time

#11 Posted by clone01 (24388 posts) -

Good article. I tend to disagree, but whatever.

#12 Posted by foxhound_fox (87366 posts) -

I use the taxis constantly because I always need to get to certain locations when recording videos of it.

You can just set a way point, get in a taxi and skip right to that way point. Saves so much time

I guess it might help you, but I love exploring, I end up doing 5-6 different things between story missions, and usually find it more fun. You can't learn the map if you just skip over all of it. I still remember the layout of GTAIII and Vice City... and the cities of SA, but not so much the countryside.

#13 Posted by SNIPER4321 (10142 posts) -

Better question: what is not suck in GTA5?

#14 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ good_sk8er7

Well then by that logic you can skip the whole game entirely since 90% of is "non-essential"

#15 Posted by freedomfreak (38716 posts) -

Well then by that logic you can skip the whole game entirely since 90% of is "non-essential"

Why do you always reply like that? You don't want people getting notified of your posts?

#16 Posted by PhazonBlazer (11500 posts) -

Better question: what is not suck in GTA5?

ThatsSoSNIPER

#17 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ freedomfreak

Browser Issues.

#18 Posted by MlauTheDaft (3264 posts) -

I hate GTA as much as the next man, but most of us have long accepted that it's probably just not our kind of game.

#19 Edited by freedomfreak (38716 posts) -

@ freedomfreak

Browser Issues.

Ah, I see.

#20 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ freedomfreak

Thanks for understanding ! :D ! I miss the old gameot !

#21 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ MlauTheDaft

Don't fall on your sword just yet. I'm sure theres an objective basis for Rockstars boringness ! ;) just gotta bash it properly.

#22 Posted by PrincessGomez92 (3358 posts) -

I heard the game sucks.

#23 Edited by Zelda187 (699 posts) -

GTA is really a linear series masquerading as an open world platform.

Literally hundreds of thousands of buildings, but I can only go inside a handful of them?

Hell, San Andreas had more buildings with interiors than GTA V had and that game is 10 years old.

I'll admit that the main campaign in GTA V was done well and was fun to play, but after you finish it the game becomes repetitive and boring as hell.

And Rockstar sure as hell went to great lengths to make a big deal out of the "heist" missions, but you only get to do like 5 of them in the entire game and only one or two of them are even memorable.

The entire series is played out at this point IMO. I would much rather Rockstar focus on making another Red Dead sequel or something new entirely instead of beating a dead horse with GTA. I realize the series is very popular, but it's beyond stale at this point.

#24 Posted by drinkerofjuice (3163 posts) -

GTAV definitely has its problems, but that article was just bad.

#25 Posted by R4gn4r0k (16252 posts) -

Stopped reading after the complaints about the map and the taxi service.

You simply press pause and wait for a short loading screen to finish. This will bring up your map. Scroll along the map with your thumbstick for a moment before you remember this isn't actually the map. It's only the menu option for the map. Press A to go to the actual map and search for your destination. If your destination is too far away and you'd rather play the game instead of driving across it, exit out of the map and open your smart phone. Slowly scroll down your contact list since quickly is an option. Press A to call a taxi. Let it ring until a dispatcher picks up. If you are not playing the black character, a taxi will arrive 15 to 30 seconds later. It will be approximately one block from you, so look for it in the center of an exploding traffic jam it caused. It may start confusedly fleeing the crime scene, so tap the sprint button before it gets away. If you're not hit by emergency vehicles, you may be able to catch it! Now, simply scroll through the 75 possible locations until you find the one you want!

In the 100+ times I called a taxi this happened i'd say once.

Then again it's a cracked article, you try not to take those too seriously

Driving a part of Grand Theft Auto ?? What is this MADNESS ??!!

Seriously, traversing the world is a lot of fun in GTA games, it was one of my most favorite activities in GTA: San Andreas. I almost never take a taxi.

#26 Edited by Minishdriveby (10155 posts) -

Started playing GTA V yesterday, I have about 8-10 hours now. I just started playing as Trevor. I went in with lower expectations after GTA IV, and after all the praise GTAV was getting, I was just thinking it was people over hyping it like almost every newly released game. It's amazing.

I can agree with his complaints about comedy (it still makes me smile occasionally out of ridiculousness) and characters (I'm not too fond of anyone outside of Franklin at the moment), but hearing YACHT come on the radio as I drove into the sunset made me smile. So far it's one of the best games I've played this year and it would be on a list of best games of the generation for me.

#27 Posted by MickeyTheNinja (3821 posts) -

I guess i'm one of the only people who has an immense amount of fun playing GTAV even after clocking in hundreds of hours. I just find the game to be a blast. I can see faults but the good, and the joy surpass it ten fold IMO. And the online is the best R* has done, right next to Max Payne 3, again in my opinion. The article was just someone else's opinion that I don't agree with. Boo hoo, the back alleys don't have anything. Oh boo hoo, the giant mountains don't have fun stuff halfway up them. They're mountains! The alley's are there because alley's exist in real life, and they're nothing special. They're perfect for hiding from cops, and maneuvering around the police. Whatever, the game is easily one of the most fun i've had this gen.

#28 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ MickeyTheNinja

I wish I was as easily amused as you, imagine all the crappy games I'd get to enjoy ! :D

#29 Posted by GunSmith1_basic (9744 posts) -

lol I love Seanbaby. The best writer on that site and this article is no different.

#30 Posted by handssss (1798 posts) -

the only real thing that sucks abut gta V is there's no crazy cheats anymore.

Where the hell are flying cars, riot, everyone spawns as clowns (this was in san andreas and would be better now that there's actual clown models and cars) spawning jets, invincibility WITHOUT A TIME LIMIT, etc ?

#31 Posted by GreySeal9 (24005 posts) -

"Like all GTA games, the constant arguments with the camera, cover system, and controls will remind you you're playing a game."

He's got a point there.

#32 Posted by GreySeal9 (24005 posts) -

@ MickeyTheNinja

I wish I was as easily amused as you, imagine all the crappy games I'd get to enjoy ! :D

Be quiet.

#33 Posted by Pffrbt (6468 posts) -

The article was pretty spot on. The "comedy" is incredibly ham-fisted and most of the game is incredibly boring and mediocre.

#34 Edited by MickeyTheNinja (3821 posts) -

GTAV definitely has its problems, but that article was just bad.

I said it was my opinion, and my opinion toward something could be the same, or much different than other's.

#35 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ GreySeal9: "Be Quiet"

NEVER !!!

#36 Edited by drinkerofjuice (3163 posts) -

@MickeyTheNinja said:

@drinkerofjuice said:

GTAV definitely has its problems, but that article was just bad.

I said it was my opinion, and my opinion toward something could be the same, or much different than other's.

...Okay?

#37 Posted by MickeyTheNinja (3821 posts) -

@drinkerofjuice: I quoted the wrong person. I'm surprised you're not smarter to realize this.

#38 Posted by happyduds77 (1436 posts) -
@Zelda187 said:

GTA is really a linear series masquerading as an open world platform.

Literally hundreds of thousands of buildings, but I can only go inside a handful of them?

Hell, San Andreas had more buildings with interiors than GTA V had and that game is 10 years old.

I'll admit that the main campaign in GTA V was done well and was fun to play, but after you finish it the game becomes repetitive and boring as hell.

And Rockstar sure as hell went to great lengths to make a big deal out of the "heist" missions, but you only get to do like 5 of them in the entire game and only one or two of them are even memorable.

The entire series is played out at this point IMO. I would much rather Rockstar focus on making another Red Dead sequel or something new entirely instead of beating a dead horse with GTA. I realize the series is very popular, but it's beyond stale at this point.

You took the words out of my mouth. I wanna add couple things. The first thing is the story, it's a potential mess. It feels rushed and incomplete. And secondly the shooting mechanics; heavily relies on auto aim. It feels sluggish and unresponsive.

#39 Posted by charizard1605 (55496 posts) -

I love Cracked. I have been making similar complaints about its heavy handed humor from all the promotional material that I have seen, although I hope the final game is a bit more subtle.

#40 Posted by madsnakehhh (14063 posts) -

Well...it's Cracked, i love the site, but i don't think they should be taken that serious.

#41 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ madsnakehhh

Why not ?

#42 Posted by KHAndAnime (13291 posts) -

Awful article. Did a soccer mom write it? Calling Rockstar insane for a tame torture scene? Which has been similarly featured a million times in VG's in the past? Zzzzzz

#43 Edited by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ KHAndAnime

I'm gona go out on a limb and say you actually enjoyed that piece of crap called GTA V. Also you have no objection to the other things mentioned in the article which means either you didn't read or you think Seanbaby is right about its shortcommings. I'm guessing the former.

#44 Edited by darkmoney52 (4307 posts) -

I disagree with a lot of the article (Personally I really love cruising around the world of GTA 5, and a good chunk of the missions are really fun) but I absolutely agree about the story. Something about the way Rockstar writes these days just comes across as very bitter and snarky, and not particularly clever. Still got a couple laughs out of Trevor though.

#45 Posted by GreySeal9 (24005 posts) -

@ KHAndAnime

I'm gona go out on a limb and say you actually enjoyed that piece of crap called GTA V. Also you have no objection to the other things mentioned in the article which means either you didn't read or you think Seanbaby is right about its shortcommings. I'm guessing the former.

Good lord. You have awful reading comprehension.

At no point did he say that he didn't object to the other things mentioned in the article. Commenting on one particular point/=/not objecting to the other points. Why in the world do you need that explained to you?

#46 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ GreySeal9

That tortue seen was nothing, the game has far bigger issues than that, he didn't mention them, so either he didn't read all of it or he doesn't object to them.

But I think its nice of you to look out for your lil brother ! :p

#47 Edited by GreySeal9 (24005 posts) -

@Lulu_Lulu said:

@ GreySeal9

That tortue seen was nothing, the game has far bigger issues than that, he didn't mention them, so either he didn't read all of it or he doesn't object to them.

But I think its nice of you to look out for your lil brother ! :p

Or maybe he felt like mentioning the point about torture for what could be a number of reasons. Perhaps he felt that point was particularly annoying and wanted to address it. In any case, addressing that one point in no way implies agreement with the others unless one is an idiot.

Are you actually trying to be a ding-dong or can you not help it?

#48 Posted by Salt_The_Fries (8288 posts) -

I caught on to Rockstars design philosophy when GTA IV came out. Rockstar is all about more stuff and bigger worlds but boring as hell.

My thoughts exactly!

#49 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (9936 posts) -

@ GreySeal9

Its system wars baby ! And I'm sick of being polite and getting fock all for it.

I still stand by original post, either he didn't read it all or he doesn't agree.

#50 Edited by sukraj (21902 posts) -

Really enjoying GTA V best game on the last gen consoles.