A New King Has Been Crowned

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KratosYOLOSwag

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#1  Edited By KratosYOLOSwag
Member since 2013 • 1827 Posts

Congratulations Xbox! The true winner of 2014.

Xbox 45.7% (+70.5% increase)

Playstation 40% (-36.8% decrease)

Pornhub has revealed its statistical breakdown of 2014.

As you can see, while Xbox and PS4 are both still the porn console (pornsole?) of choice, there's been a massive change year-on-year, with Xbox up 70 per cent and PlayStation down 37 per cent.

http://www.kotaku.co.uk/2015/01/08/theres-new-king-console-porn

So this is what Xbox owners have been doing all year. Now I see what they really mean when they say they're playing "games".

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ghostwarrior786

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#2 ghostwarrior786
Member since 2005 • 5811 Posts

i suspect @FoxbatAlpha was responsible for at least 20% of the bone traffic

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Chutebox

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#3 Chutebox
Member since 2007 • 50495 Posts

@ghostwarrior786 said:

i suspect @FoxbatAlpha was responsible for at least 20% of the bone traffic

Fucking LOL...and I hate saying "lol"!

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NathanDrakeSwag

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#4  Edited By NathanDrakeSwag
Member since 2013 • 17392 Posts

This is what lems mean when they say the king has returned.

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uninspiredcup

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#5 uninspiredcup  Online
Member since 2013 • 58646 Posts

But pc's the best.

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Blabadon

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#6 Blabadon
Member since 2008 • 33030 Posts

Who the **** watches porn on their 3DS

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SecretPolice

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#7 SecretPolice
Member since 2007 • 43933 Posts

PC is King, no if's and's or Butts. :P

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deactivated-5ebea105efb64

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#8  Edited By deactivated-5ebea105efb64
Member since 2013 • 7262 Posts

@SecretPolice said:

PC is King, no if's and's or Butts. :P

Yup. PC wins this round too. lol

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madsnakehhh

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#9 madsnakehhh
Member since 2007 • 18249 Posts

Does it play the vídeos at 1080p and 60 fps?

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always_explicit

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#10 always_explicit
Member since 2007 • 3379 Posts

They should count android hits, I could single handedly **** those stats upside the head with my mobile phone wanks.

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Shewgenja

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#11  Edited By Shewgenja
Member since 2009 • 21456 Posts

It's all those red state Wal-Mart shoppers joining in the bargain basement of Generation 8 with the Lems.

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Shewgenja

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#12 Shewgenja
Member since 2009 • 21456 Posts

@always_explicit said:

They should count android hits, I could single handedly **** those stats upside the head with my mobile phone wanks.

Single-handedly, eh? ;)

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Heil68

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#13 Heil68
Member since 2004 • 60681 Posts

Maybe joyous over MS dropping Kinect, the joke of the industry.

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chikenfriedrice

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#14 chikenfriedrice
Member since 2006 • 13561 Posts

I use my PC for porn....noobs

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always_explicit

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#15 always_explicit
Member since 2007 • 3379 Posts

@Shewgenja said:

@always_explicit said:

They should count android hits, I could single handedly **** those stats upside the head with my mobile phone wanks.

Single-handedly, eh? ;)

I suppose on a forum whereby proof isnt required I could have claimed the ol two hand shuffle, but I wouldn't be fooling anyone haha.

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speedfreak48t5p

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#16 speedfreak48t5p
Member since 2009 • 14411 Posts

Lemmings sure do love their porn, especially @FoxbatAlpha

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FinalFighters

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#17  Edited By FinalFighters
Member since 2013 • 3410 Posts

XXXBOX!

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FoxbatAlpha

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#18 FoxbatAlpha
Member since 2009 • 10669 Posts

I appreciate all the comments directed to my love of Xbox.

Now, back to business and porn.

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dalger21

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#19 dalger21
Member since 2002 • 2231 Posts

Obsession seems to be a better word.

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foxhound_fox

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#20 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

Gives a new meaning to "Xboner".

@Blabadon said:

Who the **** watches porn on their 3DS

Kids with dumb parents probably.

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jhcho2

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#21 jhcho2
Member since 2004 • 5103 Posts

Of course the worser console has more room for improvement. When you've been mostly at the bottom, the only place you can go is up.

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PurpleMan5000

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#22 PurpleMan5000
Member since 2011 • 10531 Posts

@Blabadon said:

Who the **** watches porn on their 3DS

studs

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Gue1

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#23  Edited By Gue1
Member since 2004 • 12171 Posts

@uninspiredcup said:

But pc's the best.

@Gamerno6666 said:

@SecretPolice said:

PC is King, no if's and's or Butts. :P

Yup. PC wins this round too. lol

@chikenfriedrice said:

I use my PC for porn....noobs

Widespread Virginity Threatens PC Master Race With Extinction

Experts on rare and threatened species have announced today that the master race of PC gamers have joined the endangered species list due to widespread virginity wreaking havoc on their population. Quite often when a new species joins the endangerment list it’s due to manmade environmental problems, but in this case their habitats are only part of the issue. “With the majority of PC gamers taking residence in their parents’ basements — many of them well into adulthood — they are often seen as undesirable to potential partners,” said International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) gaming specialist Hassan Moussaka. “Of course, the neckbeards don’t help either.”

The lack of sex hasn’t always been the foremost threat to PC gamers. In decades past they made up for their virginity by engaging in several taboo pornography kinks, satisfying their carnal needs but not contributing to the survival of their race. Now, as the first generation of pretentious PC gamers begins to age past their potency, the fate of the species as a whole rests on the younger gamers in the community. Sadly, all evidence suggests they are content comparing graphics cards and masturbating to hentai instead of attempting to procreate.

The most damning part of all, according to Moussaka, is the failures of even those who try to seek out partners. “On one hand you have an entire sect of their community who wants nothing to do with sexual relationships, and on the other you have those who try but fail mightily because of their complete lack of social skills, fashion sense, and personal hygiene.” Much like lemurs, armadillos, and sloths, PC gamers are projected to go completely extinct within the next two generations if nothing is done to combat these issues.

Advocates for PC gamers, such as NewEgg and Valve, have put forth their own initiatives to assist the community in not just surviving, but thriving. The Valve spring sale promises to include a personal grooming kit with every purchase totaling more than $20. CEO of Valve, Gabe Newell, urges others to gift Steam games to their reluctant master race friends or family. However, only time will tell if these initiatives affect the population numbers in any real way.

“What we can’t have is these gamers remaining secluded from the rest of the gaming community,” Moussaka warns. “If they refuse to integrate themselves, we will undoubtedly watch their population dwindle until they are mentioned alongside Sloth Bears and Dwarf Hippos as the latest tragic extinction brought on by the hubris of man.”

http://vgmmdi.com/widespread-virginity-threatens-pc-master-race-with-extinction/

*

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deactivated-5ebea105efb64

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#24  Edited By deactivated-5ebea105efb64
Member since 2013 • 7262 Posts

@Gue1: ROTFL.

I am gonna wait for janker's response.

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chikenfriedrice

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#25 chikenfriedrice
Member since 2006 • 13561 Posts

@Gue1: That's funny but does not apply to me :)

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Ten_Pints

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#27 Ten_Pints
Member since 2014 • 4072 Posts

Who the **** looks at porn on a games console...

Or are there Kinect voice commands for it?

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deactivated-5ebea105efb64

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#28 deactivated-5ebea105efb64
Member since 2013 • 7262 Posts

@Motokid6 said:

@Gue1: So what's that have to do with gaming? Attacks that have nothing to do with the hobby in general what so ever. Lol I'll say it again. Consolites are lower then dirt. Not peasants... Just complete scum on a mission to destroy and corrupt the gaming hobby. ( the latter has already been achieved sadly )

Lol you getting mad makes it even more funnier.

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RedentSC

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#29 RedentSC
Member since 2013 • 1243 Posts

this is what happens when you go for the casual gamer..... Porn > Games everyday to these guys....

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Shewgenja

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#30  Edited By Shewgenja
Member since 2009 • 21456 Posts

@Motokid6 said:

@Gue1: So what's that have to do with gaming? Attacks that have nothing to do with the hobby in general what so ever. Lol I'll say it again. Consolites are lower then dirt. Not peasants... Just complete scum on a mission to destroy and corrupt the gaming hobby. ( the latter has already been achieved sadly )

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lostrib

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#32 lostrib
Member since 2009 • 49999 Posts

@Motokid6: just because that is your opinion doesn't make it true

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darkangel115

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#33 darkangel115
Member since 2013 • 4562 Posts

I still can't believe people actually watch porn on gaming consoles.

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Suppaman100

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#34  Edited By Suppaman100
Member since 2013 • 5250 Posts

@Gue1 said:

@uninspiredcup said:

But pc's the best.

@Gamerno6666 said:

@SecretPolice said:

PC is King, no if's and's or Butts. :P

Yup. PC wins this round too. lol

@chikenfriedrice said:

I use my PC for porn....noobs

Widespread Virginity Threatens PC Master Race With Extinction

Experts on rare and threatened species have announced today that the master race of PC gamers have joined the endangered species list due to widespread virginity wreaking havoc on their population. Quite often when a new species joins the endangerment list it’s due to manmade environmental problems, but in this case their habitats are only part of the issue. “With the majority of PC gamers taking residence in their parents’ basements — many of them well into adulthood — they are often seen as undesirable to potential partners,” said International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN) gaming specialist Hassan Moussaka. “Of course, the neckbeards don’t help either.”

The lack of sex hasn’t always been the foremost threat to PC gamers. In decades past they made up for their virginity by engaging in several taboo pornography kinks, satisfying their carnal needs but not contributing to the survival of their race. Now, as the first generation of pretentious PC gamers begins to age past their potency, the fate of the species as a whole rests on the younger gamers in the community. Sadly, all evidence suggests they are content comparing graphics cards and masturbating to hentai instead of attempting to procreate.

The most damning part of all, according to Moussaka, is the failures of even those who try to seek out partners. “On one hand you have an entire sect of their community who wants nothing to do with sexual relationships, and on the other you have those who try but fail mightily because of their complete lack of social skills, fashion sense, and personal hygiene.” Much like lemurs, armadillos, and sloths, PC gamers are projected to go completely extinct within the next two generations if nothing is done to combat these issues.

Advocates for PC gamers, such as NewEgg and Valve, have put forth their own initiatives to assist the community in not just surviving, but thriving. The Valve spring sale promises to include a personal grooming kit with every purchase totaling more than $20. CEO of Valve, Gabe Newell, urges others to gift Steam games to their reluctant master race friends or family. However, only time will tell if these initiatives affect the population numbers in any real way.

“What we can’t have is these gamers remaining secluded from the rest of the gaming community,” Moussaka warns. “If they refuse to integrate themselves, we will undoubtedly watch their population dwindle until they are mentioned alongside Sloth Bears and Dwarf Hippos as the latest tragic extinction brought on by the hubris of man.”

http://vgmmdi.com/widespread-virginity-threatens-pc-master-race-with-extinction/

*

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bunchanumbers

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#36 bunchanumbers
Member since 2013 • 5709 Posts

Glad to see that the Xbone is living up to its name lol

Seriously though I'm a little shocked at the uptake of Wii U users.

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freedomfreak

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#37 freedomfreak
Member since 2004 • 52420 Posts

Really gonna have to check out this porn thing one of these days.

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deactivated-5ebea105efb64

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#38 deactivated-5ebea105efb64
Member since 2013 • 7262 Posts

@freedomfreak: Shuddup hentai freak.

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freedomfreak

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#39 freedomfreak
Member since 2004 • 52420 Posts
@Gamerno6666 said:

Shuddup hentai freak.

Talk dirty to me, bebe.

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PapaTrop

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#40 PapaTrop
Member since 2014 • 1792 Posts

There's nothing more fun than getting the pornog rolling, turning the Kinect on, loading up your Twitch stream, and having a great day.

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ConanTheStoner

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#41 ConanTheStoner
Member since 2011 • 23706 Posts

@CrownKingArthur:

These peasants must bend the knee.

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Cheleman

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#42 Cheleman
Member since 2012 • 8198 Posts

riley reid is the best.

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freedomfreak

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#43 freedomfreak
Member since 2004 • 52420 Posts

First person shooter. The videogame equivalent of POV.

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CrownKingArthur

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#44 CrownKingArthur
Member since 2013 • 5262 Posts

@ConanTheStoner: yeah, i think i've found their new king. wanKing.

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CountBleck12

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#45 CountBleck12
Member since 2012 • 4726 Posts

@darkangel115 said:

I still can't believe people actually watch porn on gaming consoles.

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KBFloYd

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#46 KBFloYd
Member since 2009 • 22714 Posts

@ten_pints said:

Who the **** looks at porn on a games console...

Or are there Kinect voice commands for it?

its much better on a 60" tv...get that full jerk action.

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Jankarcop

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#47 Jankarcop
Member since 2011 • 11058 Posts

@Cheleman said:

riley reid is the best.

Shes so mediocre and vanilla, meh.

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deactivated-5cd08b1605da1

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#48 deactivated-5cd08b1605da1
Member since 2012 • 9317 Posts

Seriously, who dafuq uses consoles for porn?

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darkangel115

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#49 darkangel115
Member since 2013 • 4562 Posts

@CountBleck12 said:

@darkangel115 said:

I still can't believe people actually watch porn on gaming consoles.

I'm waiting for the people to come and say "porn is unwatchable if less then 1080p and 60fps"

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blackace

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#50  Edited By blackace
Member since 2002 • 23576 Posts
@SecretPolice said:

PC is King, no if's and's or Butts. :P

True. This is one area where the PC truly is the Master Race. I'm sure the PC beats all the consoles combined when it comes to porn surfing. I know no one who uses a game console to surf porn.