Stalin vs Martians: First Impressions

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visceron

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#1 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts

Update: Review Posted

Ok, I just finished the first mission, so these are just my thoughts after the first mission. I actually had to download this game twice, the first time I downloaded it, Impulse told me it was an invalid download. Luckily it took less than a half hour to download the 930MB file. The intro to the game is just the Russian/Soviet? National Anthem for about 2 min. Then the game goes to the main menu with the crazy techno music. If you saw the video you know that I'm talking about, it looks the same too.

The menu only has four options: New Game, Continue, Options, Exit. Well I just started the game so the first thing I always do is go to options, I certainly don't want to exit already. Ok options, the first thing I always like to set is the screen resolution. Just one problem, there are only 2 submenus under options: Gameplay and Sound. Lets look at the first option under Gameplay: Keyboard Layout. I have the option of Revolutionary or Orthodox, the game is preset to Revolutionary. I have no idea what the layout is for either one, because it doesn't show you what any of the keys are or give you the option to customize them. Next options: Do you like cats? The preset is Yes!, you can change it to No! What does this do? The world may never know. Alright next option: Invert Mouse. The preset is On. On? This is an RTS why would the mouse be inverted? I left it "On" just to see what it would be like. Well I can definitly say it wasn't inverted when I actually started the game. Maybe it is referring the button layout or maybe you get to control Stalin in first person later in the game. The last two options under gameplay are just Invert Zoom and Camera Sensitivity, they are actually self explanitory. Under Sound options you just get to control three different levels of sound and turn on/off 3D sound.

Ok New Game! You are taken directly to a still picture with 8-bit music. It's a picture of Stalin smoking a pipe and a clipboard with notes which are a desciption of the first mission. Aside from the picture being very clear and detailed, this seems very retro. I was definitely thinking back to the 8-bit and 16-bit days when seeing and hearing this. Objective One: Survive the Attack. You are immediately attacked by exploding confetti. Oh wait, those are colored little martians that look like Pikmin when I zoom in closer. Since there are no graphics' options, the game is set at a much lower resolution than my native resolution. The game has the basic right click RTS controls. You can't unselect units by left clicking though. Zoom is on the mouse wheel. There are four giant icons at the bottom of the screen: Move, Hold Position, Attack, and Stop. Ok, so the gameplay is very basic. Are there shortkeys for any of these? I have no idea since I wasn't able to see the key layout. I tried randomly mashing keys, but nothing seemed to do anything. Back to the exploding confetti, they are dropping power ups and money like mad. The text for the power ups and money move up so fast, I barely get a chance to see what they are. I definitely have no idea what I am getting if there are ever 3 or more power ups at a time, which seems to be happening all the time. Ok, I survived the first attack. What is the deal with music? It is very arcady techno music. I feel like I am at the arcade.

Objective Two: Attack the Enemy Position. Guess I am supposed to attack the purple marker on the map. Maybe I should get reinformcements before attacking. At the top of the screen you can buy reinforcements; however, on the first mission you only get two options: infantry and BT-7 which is a tank. I will say there are 15 options on the list. There is no base building in this game. Ok I have wasted all of my money. On to the purple marker on the mini map! Objective Complete, well that was easy. I only ran into three different units along the way. Exploding confetti: a useless unit, Giant three eyed martians, ripped off from Toy Story: a tank unit, and a Spiral looking tree: seems to just spawn the confetti units. The next to objectives are just "Find Scattered Reinforcments" and "Protect the Village or Die Trying" and that is the end of mission one and the end of my first impressions.

Score Based on Mission One:
Presentation: Stalin vs Martians? Awesome. 8/10
Graphics: Crap, but who cares. 5/10
Sound: Its crazy and you get to listen to your units say the same thing over and over. 7/10
Gameplay: Very basic and lots of power ups, woo! 4/10
Story: You get to read it on a notepad! 4/10
Lasting Appeal: Mission one accomplished! Time about 10 min. Eleven more to go! Multiplayer? No. 4/10
Overall!: 5/10

Later Impressions: (See Below)

Presentation: Stalin vs Martians? Awesome. 8/10

Graphics: Crap, would have given 5/10, but a complete lack of visual feedback on important game features. 3/10

Sound: Its crazy and there is absolutely no variety, not bad, but with no variety it gets old fast. 6/10

Gameplay: Only Mission 7 requires any strategy and its just keep your infantry spread out, however the controls are so crappy this is very frustrating. To expand on what I am saying is: it is nearly impossible to select individual infantry, they don't always listen to you the first time you order them to do something, it takes 2-3 tries usually to get the selection box to come up when selecting multiple units. Any mission where you get tanks, that is all you need. Just drive over all the "infantry" Martian units and shoot the "tank" units down with your tanks. 2/10

Story: Its funny and its only in the intro to the mission, no in game story. The intermission videos are on crack and you can see them on the games website. 5/10

Lasting Appeal: 3-4 hours, if you bother to finish it. 3/10

Overall!: 3.5/10 (This was an average with the gameplay weighted as 50% of the score, the rest being 10% each.)

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visceron

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#2 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts
Update: Currently I am stuck on mission 8 due to a glitch. A few things I want to add. Trees do not spawn the confetti units, they are just a nuisance to communism. The round floating red head things from Doom make an appearance in the game. Unit selection gets to be quite annoying after a while. It seems very hard to individually select infantry. Also when selecting multiple units with the mouse, sometimes the selection box doesn't come up until 2 or 3 tries later, then you can select your units. The story is slighter better than previously thought, I will change that to a 5/10. Path finding could be better. Groups of units move a lot slower than individual units. Sometimes units won't pick up power ups when they move right through them. You only have a few seconds to pick them up before they disappear. This game was also released unfinished, uncool. They plan on adding graphics options. Maybe if they would have played through their own game too, they would realize a lot of the abilities aren't working either. Even after the glitches are fixed and the graphics options are added, I am pretty sure I would still rate this game at a solid 5.0.
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purple_MAN1832

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#3 purple_MAN1832
Member since 2004 • 2125 Posts

lol thanks for the update. I see it's the AAAE I predicted it would be :D

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chikinlad

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#4 chikinlad
Member since 2008 • 1167 Posts

This game sounds pretty epic, can you play as the martians?

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THA-TODD-BEAST

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#5 THA-TODD-BEAST
Member since 2003 • 4569 Posts

This game sounds like a complete acid trip. And that's not a bad thing!

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Baranga

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#6 Baranga
Member since 2005 • 14217 Posts

I can't believe how funny this game is. It's like Monty Python with martians!

Aside from some pathfinding issues, the gameplay works. It's exactly what they said it would be - a fast paced RTS/platformer hybrid.

If you like playing Jazz Jackrabbit or Earthworm Jim, this is a game for you. It's very arcade-ish and very rewarding. I'm afraid reviews will treat it as a classic RTS game and they'll give it horrible scores, but this is more similar to PopCap's games: simple in theory (you have to master the art of zerg rush and be relatively good at micro), yet very rewarding.

You can't play as the martians, and there's no multiplayer.

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visceron

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#7 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts

I can't believe how funny this game is. It's like Monty Python with martians!

Aside from some pathfinding issues, the gameplay works.Baranga

What about the bug that is preventing me from playing past mission 8? Also selecting individual infantry is more difficult than it should be. I was very aggravated when playing mission 7, since you only get infantry to start, and the bug artillery will wipe them all out if you have them grouped together. This is definitely not an RTS for everyone, but anyone looking for a light hearted RTS this should suffice.

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dadou_gamer

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#8 dadou_gamer
Member since 2009 • 78 Posts

I've just started!! Not too bad!!!

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RyuRanVII

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#9 RyuRanVII
Member since 2006 • 4257 Posts

Stalin Vs. Martians is a RTS - Real Time Something!

Really, there's no strategy at all, you just fight massive hordes of alien creatures over and over in the same locations. There's nothing good or new about the gameplay. The performance was like the trailer (slideshow) during heavy combat sequences. Come on, my good old Geforce 8800GT can handle World in Conflict but not this game?

The only good thing about Stalin Vs Martians is the humor. The music is very funny, I could'n believe myself what I was hearing. The repetitive unit quotes are funny too.

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johan1986

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#10 johan1986
Member since 2003 • 4764 Posts

quess I will skip it

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Baranga

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#11 Baranga
Member since 2005 • 14217 Posts

First review!

It's really not worth it, even though it's enormously good fun. Once you realise it's basically just a game of 'charge at the opponents until they croak', the brainless pointing and clicking becomes somewhat cathartic, and the sheer lunacy of the proceedings is rather refreshing. It's incredibly tasteless, but in such an infantile way that it's impossible to be offended. It's colourful, and quirky, and features the most hysterically, brilliantly awful soundtrack known to man. In an odd sort of way, it's incredibly amusing.

The score's for the normal people. The people who require competent "gameplay", an engaging story, or - you know - anything to make any sense at all. The people who quite rightly don't enjoy paying seventeen pounds for what is essentially a pretty awful game. But it is to take nothing away from Stalin vs. Martians' trio of developers. This is quite clearly the product of a collective of minds working towards a common, if absolutely ludicrous, goal. It totally succeeds. A weird part of my soul loves them for that.


35%, lol.

Support indie devs, go buy it!

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404-not-found

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#12 404-not-found
Member since 2009 • 1050 Posts
Cool, might get it.
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visceron

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#13 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts
35% I thought I was being hard on the game when I gave it a 5.0 since the reader average was 6.3 at the time. (Its at 5.7 currently)
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0Tyler0

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#14 0Tyler0
Member since 2008 • 2602 Posts
I predicted that this game will get at the max a two a looong time ago. It got a 1.5. I am going to bask in my awesomeness for the next hour or so.
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visceron

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#15 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts
I predicted that this game will get at the max a two a looong time ago. It got a 1.5. I am going to bask in my awesomeness for the next hour or so.0Tyler0
Everything they said in the review was true. I actually like the music, well not really the metal track. What I didn't realize at first was there is only about 4 tracks, which get really repetitive. I assumed the gameplay would get better or pickup after the first mission, but you pretty much get the full experience from mission 1, without running into the frustration issues with the controls that come in some of the later missions.
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DarKre

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#16 DarKre
Member since 2003 • 9529 Posts
Please dont waste money by supporting these crappy games.
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Dark_prince123

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#17 Dark_prince123
Member since 2008 • 1149 Posts
The Game is crappy As Srormrise If you want good RTS go to COH or WIC
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visceron

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#18 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts

Maybe if they would have played through their own game too, they would realize a lot of the abilities aren't working either. Even after the glitches are fixed and the graphics options are added, I am pretty sure I would still rate this game at a solid 5.0.visceron
Ok, the abilities work, but there is a lack of visual feedback in the game to let you know what the hell is going on.

Please dont waste money by supporting these crappy games.DarKre
Too late, I already pre-ordered it.

Later Impressions:

Presentation: Stalin vs Martians? Awesome. 8/10

Graphics: Crap, would have given 5/10, but a complete lack of visual feedback on important game features. 3/10

Sound: Its crazy and there is absolutely no variety, not bad, but with no variety it gets old fast. 6/10

Gameplay: Only Mission 7 requires any strategy and its just keep your infantry spread out, however the controls are so crappy this is very frustrating. To expand on what I am saying is: it is nearly impossible to select individual infantry, they don't always listen to you the first time you order them to do something, it takes 2-3 tries usually to get the selection box to come up when selecting multiple units. Any mission where you get tanks, that is all you need. Just drive over all the "infantry" Martian units and shoot the "tank" units down with your tanks. 2/10

Story: Its funny and its only in the intro to the mission, no in game story. The intermission videos are on crack and you can see them on the games website. 5/10

Lasting Appeal: 3-4 hours, if you bother to finish it. 3/10

Overall!: 3.5/10 (This was an average with the gameplay weighted as 50% of the score, the rest being 10% each.)

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jeremy45

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#19 jeremy45
Member since 2005 • 86 Posts

This game sounds like a complete acid trip. And that's not a bad thing!

THA-TODD-BEAST

lol

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#20 Johnny_Rock
Member since 2002 • 40314 Posts

I usually don't trust Gamespot's reviews, but when they give a game a 1.5... I stay away.

Sorry comrade.

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visceron

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#21 visceron
Member since 2005 • 2160 Posts
I finally posted my review.