Ok, this was an experience I had to share. It all started two days ago. I was filling up my tank of gas, when I spotted a burger king across the street. I figured, 'man, I haven't had burger king in forever,' so after I finished filling up, I drove across the street and parked.
So I walked in, and there two people in the line. Or so I thought. There were two people in the 'apparent' line. I stepped behind the second person, when all of the sudden, I hear "excuse me" from somewhere behind me. I turned around, and this big, 6-foot-tall, mustached guy was leaning up against that wall that divides the front of the restaurant and the tables (you know, right next to the ketchup and napkins). I'm a pretty big guy myself, at about the same height as that dude. But he looked pretty tough, like he was some kind of ranch hand. He had on jeans and a red button-up shirt, if that helps the imagery.
Anyway, so he I turn, and he says to me "excuse me, I'm in line, get in back"... now this guy was clearly not in line, he was a good five or six feet back from the person in front of him, I suppose he's just too lazy to stand straight so he wanted to lean against that wall. I point this out by saying 'hey, if you want to be in line, then you should have stood in the line" and he kind of straightens up like he's trying to look tough, or something. He takes a step towards me and I don't back down. At this point, we have the whole attention of the restaurant, because everyone loves drama.
He takes his pointer finger, and jabs me in the shoulder. He says "listen buddy, I was here first, you can get behind me." That's when I snapped. No one pokes me. I reached behind me and pulled out my handgun that I keep for situations just like this. A collective gasp swept through the restaurant, and the dude takes a small step back.
Still trying to act tough, he puts a little half-scared, half-smirky look on his face and says "do you even know how to use that thing?"
And I said, "I've covered wars, ya know!"
Then he screamed, "don't kill me, I've got a family in west Philadelphia. That's where I was born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days. chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school, when a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and said "you're moving with your auntie and uncle in Bel-air. I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said "fresh" and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah, forget it, go home to bel-air! I pulled up to a house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabby "go, home smell you later" looked at my kingdom, I was finally there, to sit on my throne as the prince of bel-air"
I promptly did a barrel role and got outta there...