Would you take back a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse

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#1 Posted by Mercenary848 (9060 posts) -

I have seen a lot of couples, bounce back but I know myself and if any of my girlfriends cheated on me i'm out. I do not understand the mindset of staying with someone who would betray you.

#2 Posted by Stranger_36 (472 posts) -

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

#3 Posted by Black_Alpha_G (89 posts) -

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

.

#4 Posted by Aljosa23 (24740 posts) -

Nope.

I consider that a form of self hatred.

#5 Edited by Ballroompirate (22555 posts) -

Nope

#6 Edited by ad1x2 (5505 posts) -

Different circumstances can change whether or not this would be a yes or no for certain people. For example, some men who were cheated on may stay with their wives if she is remorseful and they have kids together if for no other reason than her infidelity not being considered in custody agreements from the court.

Personally, I say that you don't know what you are going to do until it happens but chances are if you are married and in a no-fault state where adultery isn't grounds for divorce, it may be cheaper to keep her. With a girlfriend, less is invested in the relationship so fuck 'em.

#7 Posted by GeekInkINC (194 posts) -

The most she'd get is a one nighter

#8 Posted by Assassin_87 (2309 posts) -

It depends on the situation, and I really don't know. I've got a wife who's been with me for years now, and I doubt I could accurately tell you what I would do if she cheated. Hard to say.

#9 Posted by foxhound_fox (87658 posts) -

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

#10 Posted by Sword-Demon (6963 posts) -

Absolutely not.

You can't possibly trust someone who has cheated on you, and you can't have a relationship with someone you don't trust.

#11 Posted by tocool340 (20486 posts) -

Depends on her excuse and how much I love her. Most likely though, we're done. I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone who betrayed my trust. There must be something broken in our relationship for her to do it once and if she couldn't be mature enough to tell me the problem or simply say "I think we should see other people", then there's really not much reason to savage that relationship. Time is precious and I'm not about to spend it on a broken relationship...

#12 Edited by lamprey263 (23142 posts) -

If that happens she probably got knocked up and she's gonna pass the kid off as yours, say you'll need a 9 month trial period with no sex and see what happens.

#13 Edited by sailor232 (4441 posts) -

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

This.

#14 Posted by Makhaidos (1613 posts) -

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

#15 Edited by Darthkaiser (12448 posts) -

That's a tough question, it kinda depends on the circumstances at least to me

Say if I have kids and a family If I had to do it for the sake of the family then I "suppose", then again if she cheated maybe she didn't held family in such high regard

#16 Edited by Master_Of_Fools (1320 posts) -

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

#17 Posted by ShepardCommandr (2408 posts) -

I can't take someone who is dead back......

#18 Posted by hippiesanta (9805 posts) -

If still / even hotter than before .... why not..

#19 Edited by thegerg (14855 posts) -

no

#20 Edited by Korvus (3202 posts) -

My gut reaction is "Absolutely not". If there are problems in a relationship, cheating is a sure fire way to permanently close doors. But while I'm still 99.9% sure I wouldn't take her back, I love my wife with everything I have, so I can't be 100% sure of what I'd do unless it happened.

#21 Posted by Boddicker (2513 posts) -

No.

She cheated once, what's to stop her from doing it again.

I never understood the point of cheating. Just break up with your significant other because it's obvious they're not making you happy.

#22 Posted by MW2ismygame (2183 posts) -

Not a chance. You lied to me, betrayed my trust and by definition of cheating say that im not good enough for you.

You cheat on me and you get dropped like a bad habit, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

#23 Edited by foxhound_fox (87658 posts) -

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

I mean no offence, but why the double standard? What about cheating with a woman makes it "okay" while another man is a problem? Most women who cheat do it emotionally, so to me, cheating with another woman would make me really question why she would want to be with me in the first place.

#24 Posted by sammyjenkis898 (28038 posts) -

No.

#25 Posted by ad1x2 (5505 posts) -

@Master_Of_Fools: I know where your thought process is going, but unlike in a porno a woman cheating on you with another woman doesn't automatically mean they are going to let you watch or join in. You might just get kicked to the curb.

#26 Posted by PcGamingRig (7074 posts) -

nope because if you genuinely want to be with someone for a long time and care about them, you simply wouldn't do it.

#27 Edited by KHAndAnime (13421 posts) -

I was in a relationship with a girl for many years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times. The only reason I didn't leave her is because I cheated on her first, she caught me, and gave me another chance. We still see each other often and tell each other that we love each other, but I won't be in a relationship with her again. The only reason I'm so forgiving when it comes to this sort of thing is because it's really easy to see why people cheat, and it's also a complicated issue. It can come from provocation, insecurity, parental issues, history of rape and sexual abuse, etc. In this particular circumstance, she had been raped, so it's not as easy as just saying "bye".

I don't think the world is black and white, I don't believe that once someone is a cheater, they're always a cheater, and I think every one is capable of changing for the better. It's just really important to understand what caused the cheating in the first place, and then consider the possibility of it being an issue that will linger, or if it's something that can be fixed with an honest conversation. It's not worth throwing away a relationship you feel is worthwhile because your partner made a single mistake, but if there's any evidence that it won't be limited to a single mistake, sometimes you just have to accept it and move on.

#28 Posted by daviddiorio (31 posts) -
#29 Edited by -ParaNormaN- (762 posts) -

People go back with these types of people for a lot of reasons. One is that there is more than meets the eye. Some people who beat their S/O have another side of them that appeals to the other person and that can cause the victim to keep forgiving the abuser for the beatings. Same goes with cheating, a persons feelings for that person could be really strong and they sort of go into a denial state or try to forget it ever happened.

I could just be talking out of my ass though since I've never been in a relationship so, don't listen to me.

#30 Posted by VaguelyTagged (10121 posts) -

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

#31 Edited by plageus900 (993 posts) -

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

I like your style.

#32 Posted by xxyetixx (1258 posts) -

Ok I say this this from first hand experience. The only thing that gets hurt by a girlfriend/wife when they cheat on you is your ego, and that's the part that wants made right again and why you even remotely think about taking the person back. I was married for 7 years, around the 5 year mark my ex wife and I weren't happy, we have 2 children together and that's basically why we were together. I woulda cheated on her if I had the chance but I work all the time. So she is the one that got that opportunity. I knew it could happen but never thought it would then I found out who it was with and was immediately floored. "why that guy, he's not better than me or an upgrade in any way" is all I could think. even though all that happened she played the keep me on the back burner game and we'd hook up from time to time till enough was enough and we finally divorced. But because of her shame and guilt we had a dissolution agreed to all our terms in the divorce and I got joint custody, shared parenting and a 50/50 split of the kids and their expense so no child support so I'm good ego is healed wouldn't be with this woman ever again.

#33 Posted by Mercenary848 (9060 posts) -

A lot of good answers, I guess it all comes down to people change

#34 Posted by johnd13 (7986 posts) -

No. Nothing would be the same after that.

#35 Posted by Sword-Demon (6963 posts) -

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

#36 Posted by XOne_ShotX91 (151 posts) -

Ive been with my fiance for almost 4 years now, and we have a beautiful 2 year old boy together. If she cheated on me, I'd kick her ass out. The only time I'd ever see her is when it had something to do with our son. Birthdays, holidays, etc. Other than that, she could kiss my ass.

#37 Posted by XilePrincess (13126 posts) -

A year ago my answer would be "no" with no ifs ands or buts, but things change.

I've been with my boyfriend almost 7 years. Earlier this year we hit a rough patch and things got really stressful. Lots of resentment, petty fights and minimal intimacy of any kind. Without going into a whole big story, we got into a huge fight one day, half made up afterwards, but he was still pissed and got wasted (which he knows is very much NOT an excuse) that night and made out with a friend of his sister's who was over. It was once, it was a mistake, and he will never do it again. Unless he wants to wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing some parts, that is.

To be honest, it improved our relationship. Would I say the same if he screwed her? No. I'd probably have 'accidentally' put a couple dents in his brand new car with a rock or a baseball bat.

But for what it was, it forced both of us to re-evaluate where the relationship was and where we wanted it to go. I will never forget about it, but I'm working past it.

#38 Posted by The_Last_Ride (70650 posts) -

Don't really know, it's a tough one. It's easy to say no. But i might actually say yes.

#39 Posted by Master_Of_Fools (1320 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: Lesbians are hot. Knowing your chick did it with another chick would make me say damn invite me the next time. 3 some! lol

#40 Posted by Master_Of_Fools (1320 posts) -

@ad1x2: Doesn't matter. Still could say I did a lesbian lol.

#41 Edited by chessmaster1989 (29103 posts) -

Depends on the circumstances but I can certainly imagine scenarios where I'd give a cheating girlfriend a second chance

#42 Posted by edwise18 (1422 posts) -

No. Cheat once and it's over.

#43 Edited by VaguelyTagged (10121 posts) -

@VaguelyTagged said:

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

brutal butt sex with a cheating partner can be pleasing.

#44 Posted by turtlethetaffer (16673 posts) -

I'd like to say hell no but the fact is that I'd likely be in love with her, and it's not easy to let go of someone you love regardless of what they do. I'd be massively pissed either way though, for sure.

#45 Edited by gago-gago (9353 posts) -

Everyone deserves a second chance. If the person cheats more than that, time to move on. Sometimes you need to go through tests to make the relationship stronger. No one and not a thing is perfect, aways remember that.

#46 Posted by sukraj (22131 posts) -

No

#47 Posted by Master_Live (14171 posts) -

I don't think so.

#48 Posted by Master_Live (14171 posts) -

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Is that so.

#49 Posted by SOedipus (6801 posts) -

I have just enough integrity and dignity to say no.

#50 Edited by Jag85 (4372 posts) -