Would you discourage your kid from joining the military?

So this will be a bit of a contr.....no it will be a straight up controversial topic. The military is one of those things that we automatically consider members of as heroes of our culture and country. In fact even questioning one's support of the military and people's aspirations to join it would be seen by many as unpatriotic at best and treasonous at worst. All that being said if I had a kid who wished to be in the military I would do what I could to discourage that dream. I say this not only to avoid their potential death (and more selfishly my own pain of receiving their body in a box), but also due to our country's history of screwing our members of the armed forces out of benefits promised to them. Too often we only support our troops in spirit, but when it comes to supporting them with our wallets, either with healthcare help or helping them to get jobs, we show very little support.

So, given both the dangers and our history of treatment towards our veterans, would you support your child (or hypothetical child) joining the military and fighting for our country in battlegrounds throughout the world? I know that I would not be able to do so.

I wouldn't support them or discourage them. I would just tell them if anything goes wrong they have a place to come back to but they need to find some other job.

If it was a girl, yes.

@uninspiredcup: any reason why the sex matters?

Recorded cases bullying, rapes and suicide.

Yes. For what it's worth, most of the military personnel I'm close with agree.

Absolutely.

Would entirely depend on their motivation for joining.

Not if I'm rich because he/she will get a safe cushy job away from battle, but if I'm poor? Yes because the Army uses those peeps at sausage for the grinder.

It's mandatory here, so i have no say in it.

@mattbbpl: Even people in the military would discourage their kids from doing the same thing as themselves?

No, cause at the end of they day it's their choice what they want to do in life and while I would offer guidance I wouldn't be in a position to decide for them.

Even If I'd dislike it.

No. You get jobs you are qualified for vis a vis being tested to aptitude. Has nothing to do with money. In the US anyway.

Maybe now a days, but in the past all the poor kids got drafted while rich kids did not.

I wouldn't say yes or no to my child, it's there choice to make that decision and whatever happens, I'll be there to support my child.

I would like to clarify that I would never straight up tell my kid no as I think that would strengthen their resolve more than anything else, but that I am absolutely in the position to subtly discourage my kid from following a certain path in life. I could use everything from education (example teaching them how vets have been treated over the years) to helping them understand the sorrow and finality of death among other things to dissuade my kid from participating in certain career paths.

Sure. To be fair, I'm sure this exists to some degree in almost every profession, but the rates I've seen among military personnel are much higher than what I've seen elsewhere. I've only known two personnel closely who highly recommend it, and to be honest they exhibit sociopathic tendencies so that might have something to do with it. They are also highly skilled special operations members, so that elite status surely has something to do with it.

Although it's also good to note that the personnel I'm referring to are not all low level soldiers. One guy was a computer technician. Two others were respiratory specialists (after getting their degrees while in the forces). Yet another was a radiologist. And none of them would recommend it either.

On the flip side, most of them (with a few notable exceptions) openly state that if luck is on your side and you have the drive and aptitude to rise in rank or position, it's a great situation once you get out. You can retire exceptionally early with a very good pension and full health care, and still do civilian work while you're getting that. You just have to A) be lucky enough to make it out unscathed and B) put up with 20 years of suck to get there.

No but if that person was joining under false impressions, I would tell that person to critically research what it takes to join the military and what it entails that way it either prepares that person for the best and worst, or convince them that joining isn't in their best interest.

Over here, it's all volunteer and not everyone is cut out to be in the military and that's okay. I wouldn't discourage it and would actually encourage it since I believe it's in everyone's best interest to serve their country once and awhile, in any way, shape, or form. The issue I have is lies that some recruiters use to appeal to impressionable teens, constant hero worship, and the reality of the military versus what you see on the media.

Dude this isn't a thread about the past. Seriously?

I'd break their legs, steal their identity, and join in their place!

If I had a kid that'd be their choice.

Oh... you were being serious? Wrong board, dude. Seriously.

Why would I want my kid to fight for YOUR country?? This is so dumb.

Right because you didn't answer with what you thought was true. Dodge unsuccessful dude.

Seriously?

depends on their options and motives. I don't regret joining the military but it's got some serious flaws.

Depends on their reasons for joining, with me probably being indifferent to most of those reasons....

Their life, their decision. Best I can give them is advice then send them on their way...

Before answering this question, I would first analyze the reason why my son\daughter would join in the first place. Typically military duty is a good starting point for someone out of high school who doesn't know what they want to do in life as it provides experience in a variety areas. Granted the aptitude tests need to be passed first and they typically are an average analysis of a person's skills. Air Force and Navy are the better options since Army and Marines are mainly grunt focused. On top of that if they are skilled enough its possible to make a living from being in the service, though by that point I would suggest getting a degree or going Officer Candidate school because career military is better when you are an officer. These are some of the highlights of service. One needs to be very much on the ball in terms of how to live their lives when in the service because it can be tough if not prepared. If my child gave me a good answer to join the military I would support them whole heartedly yet would still support them regardless.

Yes, I don't want my child to be cannon fodder.

I always do with regard to my relatives. I don't let them join just for the heck of it. But, they sometimes say it's a "calling." With that reasoning, there's no arguing with them. So, I just let out a sigh. For those of us in the family who have been in their shoes, we give them our best advice.

It's completely up to them if they want to join. I can't stop them, and if they want to learn the horrendous acts of war and the motivations behind them, they're free to do so.

Whether they are blinded by patriotism or in desperate need of tuition support, that is entirely up to them.

Only if they promised to go to school lol. I don't want them joining straight-up infantry, I wan't them [ideally] heading to Annapolis and getting an education and a nice safe job on a big ass boat or some shit. Maybe even run that ship someday!

Then again, if they do it for the right reasons, I'd say they can do what they want.

I'd be ok with officer training school, I went through that after all.

I wouldn't want them to enlist though unless they had good reason. There are better paths to a good life like college.

I spent four years in the Air Force. Having done that, I would prefer my child skip the military and just go to college after high school, but I cant make his/her decisions for them once they turn 18.

As far as the potential death goes, there is a preconceived notion that if you join the military, you're going to the front lines and your chances of dying are high. This simply isn't the case. Depending on the branch and career field you pick, your chances of dying are about the same as walking out your front door.

It's a sad reality that any critical view of the army or anything short of fealty to it is grounds for questioning one's patriotism and ammunition for the worst of libel orchestrated by the least patriotic and most renegade.

Whether I encourage or discourage my son to join the army depends entirely on the regime and the war it's fighting. If the regime is unholy or if it's fighting for injustice, not only will I discourage my son from participation, but I'll fight him for it. A bad regime or an unjust war can only bring ruin to the state, and I don't want my son to be an instrument of that ruin. Depending on the situation, I may disown him for it.

yes

No the army isn't mostly grunt focused.

This.. But also that is for 12-18 months only. As for making a career there... Before I pass any judgement there I would ask my cousin about it. He has at least some years in the military.

Of course. I'd educate them at least why it's not the best idea and why America's military is more of a bully rather than a guardian of what's right in the world. I don't plan on having kids anyways but I discourage anyone joining the U.S. military.

I wouldn't stop anyone from joining.

Exactly. Though I'm willing to bet I'd try to discourage it for most cases, and support it in very few cases.

I have discouraged my little brother largely because his reasons were not those of life and death, which is the purpose of the military.

I actively, indirectly discourage the girl I'm raising now as I've grown into a fairly radical pacifist and don't shield her from those views. If, when she is of age, she specifically wanted blessing for defending her loved ones I might remind her of the cyclical nature of violence, I might remind her of the unintended and disgusting consequences that have accompanied every attempt to achieve political goals through force, but it wouldn't be my emphasis. My emphasis would probably be my own selfish panic at the thought of losing her.

It's pretty much just the spec ops guys now adays, and they want the action.

It depends; on the conditions of the military at the time, my kids personalities especially. The military isn't for everyone. If it's solely based on my own experience then absolutely I would. It offers more opportunities to learn about and exercise leadership, time/people/stress management, not to mention enables one to travel to places that you wouldn't otherwise get to with means of a recent college or HS graduate.

Also I have no idea the lack of support you are talking about OP, VA isn't really worse than any other Federally managed programs for special interest groups not directly tied to a particular commercial industry; they are pretty much all shitty. The fact that the problems are more visible is because we DO care about the veterans more than any other interest groups. The job market especially the Federal job market is totally biased toward veterans and that's done intentionally. To a point that best qualified people don't even make the first cuts because veteran points stack ex-military candidates to the top.

No. If that's his choice, then it's his choice. I would hope by the time he wanted to joint he Armed Forces, he'd be smart enough to make an informed choice.

I bought him a plane ticket to syria and some black pyjamas but the motherfucker won't go.