Worse than friend zoned, bro-zoned

"He's like a brother to me". People say the friend zone is make believe, but bro-zoned is very real to me and is worse than "he's just a friend".

I've heard this too many times from other girls, talking to someone else. It still sucks hearing it even if I never liked the girl. It feels emasculating feeling like I'm not desirable as a sexual partner but just as some awkward non-sexual being.

Any of you have experiences with this?

Waited too long.

Sexual tension is highest when you first meet. Play on that, or don't play at all. None of this 'creeping up through friendship to courtship' shit.

Catch it, get it, fling it, if it fits, keep it.

nothing of any consequence in this thread I'm afraid folks

That, but I'm also beginning to realize I may be low on the human pecking order. I've had friends (who are tall and good looking) who just exist and girls go crazy for them. Oh well, guess I have to make do.

Pay attention when you are out in public. Look at the 30-and-40 year olds. It's not usually the macho, muscle bound men who are with the good looking women, but rather boring looking but emotionally stable men. For the most part.

You don't have to be the pride of the party, just be confident, open and available. Make that first move and don't let her lose your attention.

Why would it be emasculating if you're not attracted to her? You could just be close friends.

@XVision84: No its the other way I around. I meant, its emasculating when girls say "I'm just like a brother to them", meaning I'm not even considered a sexual partner.

@br0kenrabbit: All great points. And you know its stuff I've heard before, it just feels validating hearing it from others (I haven't posted here in ages). I'm a 28 year old man, and I've come a long way since I was 18. But mentally, I'm still in the realm of, wait for a girl to make the first move and/or I'm just too damn self conscious about myself.

@lonewolf604: I understand that, why is it emasculating though? It doesn't take anything away from you, you could be very good looking but not attractive to that particular person.

Act it. Seriously, just assume the confidence you want to portray and go act it out.

Go to a club or pool hall or something and just flirt without the intention to pick someone up (unless, you know, it just happens). Just have fun poking the opposite sex with attention. Give a girl a little small talk, go take your turn at the table and then come back and keep talking. You don't have to talk ALL THE TIME, that's weird. Let some silence fall, just don't let it grow pregnant (hah!)

Definitely jealousy. I grew up the fat nerdy kid with acne, and my classmates all got laid at young ages. Fast forward, I'm fit, I'm working a job I love, but mentally I'm still that boy in elementary.

@lonewolf604: I'm glad to hear things worked out for you :). Don't you think that mentality might hold you back? If anything, having someone value you so much that they consider you a brother might indicate a really good personality!

It wouldn't be so bad someone calling me a brother if my track record with girls was garbage.

@lonewolf604: But that makes it sound like it's something to avoid unless you're desperate.

Oh no?

On a serious note, didn't Freud say something along the lines that we are sexually attracted to people that exhibit traits your family members also exhibit. Not necessarily that you want to screw your brother literally, but if your brother is a big dude with a deep voice, you might find yourself going after dudes that tend to be big and deep-voiced.

@mrbojangles25 said:

@lonewolf604 said:

@XVision84: No its the other way I around. I meant, its emasculating when girls say "I'm just like a brother to them", meaning I'm not even considered a sexual partner.

Oh no?

Shame, Shame

I am kind of. My younger cousins and best friends are all finding long lasting love and I still have issues. Its tough.

@lonewolf604: It does sound tough but you don't need to compare yourself to others. From the little I know of you, it seems like you're using other people's lives as a measuring stick for your own which can be useful but can also get out of hand. You're only 28, you have a lot of time.

@XVision84: I get it, but Its hard not to compare myself when my best friends are either: in a long term relationship, getting laid, or getting married.

Most people don't want to have sex with you. And that's true of literally every human being. Just gotta get past that dude.

When I was single? Nope. I never became "friends" with women. What the heck for? All the things I liked, women found boring and vice versa. No amount of friendship will get me some.

The wife's different. I treat her like a friend. But, I get to bed her too.

As far as having a woman as one of the guys? There were plenty of cases, esp in the military. But, I still kept a healthy distance and not get too close. Always stuck to that gap.

It sounds intense yet you don't have to contrast yourself with others. From the little I am aware of you, it appears as though you're utilizing other individuals' lives as a gauge for your very own which can be helpful yet can likewise escape hand. You're just 28, you have a ton of time.