Why do people look down on virgins?

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#1 Edited by BluRayHiDef (10838 posts) -

Everyone doesn't progress through life at the same rate, so why is it that some look down and insult others for not losing their virginity by a certain age? I'm 24 and had sex for the first time only a few months ago, in May of this year. The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted. You'd think that she would have been more sensitive to the issue or a little more accommodating. Damn her!

Anyhow, my question isn't based on my experience only, but also on my observations of people discussing the issue.

One thing that really bothers me about this is the double standard placed on males in regard to when they should lose it and the role they should play in sex; males are praised for losing it as soon as possible and have the burden of doing most of the work during sex (it seems). WTF is up with that?

#2 Posted by Nibroc420 (13567 posts) -

The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't that.

Maybe she just wanted you gone.

#3 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10838 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't that.

Maybe she just wanted you gone.

I doubt it. She was very welcoming up until that point.

#4 Edited by Hallenbeck77 (14400 posts) -

You didn't get the instruction booklet on how to make love without looking like a virgin? Well, it's no wonder she gave you the boot.

#5 Edited by Nibroc420 (13567 posts) -

@Nibroc420 said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't that.

Maybe she just wanted you gone.

I doubt it. She was very welcoming up until that point.

They usually are when you pay them...

#6 Posted by CleanPlayer (9787 posts) -

In my opinion, being a virgin didn't suck. There is nothing with being patient and waiting for the right person. When I was a freshman in college though, there was this negative stigma seen towards dudes who haven't had sex yet but then again WTF cares? If you're mature enough to have sex and make rational decisions, go knock yourself out. If not, oh well your time will come....no pun intended

#7 Posted by Lulu_Lulu (10284 posts) -

Because They're Shorter than everybody else ?

#8 Edited by worlock77 (22547 posts) -

@Nibroc420 said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't that.

Maybe she just wanted you gone.

I doubt it. She was very welcoming up until that point.

Maybe she got tired of your creepy Bert stare.

#9 Posted by Nibroc420 (13567 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

@Nibroc420 said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

The girl didn't know I was a virgin at first, even though she should have deduced such by how poor my performance was. Once I told her, she immediately wanted me gone; she was cold-hearted.

Maybe it wasn't that.

Maybe she just wanted you gone.

I doubt it. She was very welcoming up until that point.

Maybe she got tired of your creepy Bert stare.

I feel sorry for any girl who has sex with a guy that has look on his face 24/7.

#10 Posted by konvikt_17 (22168 posts) -

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

#11 Posted by deeliman (2391 posts) -

obviousy 'coz they don't get laid

Brilliant observation.

#12 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10838 posts) -

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

Even though I got dissed, am I a man?

#13 Posted by Nibroc420 (13567 posts) -

@konvikt_17 said:

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

Even though I got dissed, am I a man?

No, she threw you out.

#14 Edited by DNA-Hole (40 posts) -

@konvikt_17 said:

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

Even though I got dissed, am I a man?

A sad, pathetic, sorry of an excuse of one, and even that's a maybe. Because if you even ask have to ask if you're a man, that's sadder than anything.

#15 Edited by AmazonTreeBoa (16745 posts) -

Because they are morons. If I was single and looking for a new girlfriend, I would MUCH prefer a virgin than a girl that has had a few too many "sticks" in her days.

#16 Posted by Netret0120 (2033 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

#17 Posted by Hallenbeck77 (14400 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

Then why are people so quick to get rid of it ASAP?

#18 Posted by foxhound_fox (87690 posts) -

Left over high school social expectations.

#19 Posted by Fightingfan (38011 posts) -

have the burden of doing most of the work during sex (it seems). WTF is up with that?

Haha, sucks for you.

#20 Edited by ultimate-k (2348 posts) -

They just shallow people, they just want something to make them feel better about themselves.

#21 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10838 posts) -

@DNA-Hole said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

@konvikt_17 said:

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

Even though I got dissed, am I a man?

A sad, pathetic, sorry of an excuse of one, and even that's a maybe. Because if you even ask have to ask if you're a man, that's sadder than anything.

I was asking whether I am a man by his standards.

#22 Posted by konvikt_17 (22168 posts) -

@konvikt_17 said:

Because you're not a man until you have put your penis in a girls vagina!

Even though I got dissed, am I a man?

i dont see why not

#23 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10838 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

If you're talking about me, I don't see how you don't think I wasted it, since I described my first time as a disaster. However, I don't personally ascribe to the idea of wasting or not wasting your virginity; it's whatever.

#24 Posted by Jimn_tonic (819 posts) -
@DNA-Hole said:

A sad, pathetic, sorry of an excuse of one, and even that's a maybe. Because if you even ask have to ask if you're a man, that's sadder than anything.


i imagined this being said in daffy ducks voice. was amused.

TOPIC: Trust me, the double standards on males is a good thing. Sure, it may be a little harder to get laid, since we are the ones who need to take initiative, but we receive almost unanimous support from our peers when we do get laid. We can talk about sex with a sense of comradeship and understanding.

With chicks, sex can be used as a weapon for rumors, backstabbing, and manipulation among each other. She spreads her legs for a guy who another girl was trying to get the attention of, she wont hear the end of it for a long time.

#25 Posted by BranKetra (48155 posts) -

The machinations of the flesh.

#26 Edited by mindstorm (15242 posts) -

The only thing in life that I regret is related to the losing of my own. It's not so much that I regret losing it. I regret treating people I have claimed to love in a way that is by nature selfish. However, within my current relationship I have made the commitment to wait until marriage. I call her my princess and I expect to treat her as such.

#27 Posted by dominer (3313 posts) -

It's safe to assume that people who talk shit about virgins have problems with the sex they're attracted to.

#28 Posted by AmazonTreeBoa (16745 posts) -

@dominer said:

It's safe to assume that people who talk shit about virgins have problems with the sex they're attracted to.

Well that's one hell of a stretch.

#29 Posted by cain006 (8625 posts) -

@dominer said:

It's safe to assume that people who talk shit about virgins have problems with the sex they're attracted to.

Yeah no. It's probably just because of how they were raised and that they're assholes. Same type of thing Bill Burr talks about in this video around 5:50.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=52qEJkc2dPE

#30 Edited by Aljosa23 (24747 posts) -

Because a lot of the time virgins that are well into their 20's are fvcking weird.

Inexperienced girls are lame, too.

#31 Posted by Aljosa23 (24747 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

lmao are you a Nun?

#32 Edited by 2saugat (1439 posts) -

If getting laid is your number one priority in life then you are doing it wrong. It'll come to you as you progress in life. Before long, you'll have to decide who you feel like smashing that day or better yet, turn down poon. If someone looks down on you for being a virgin, and especially in your case the girl you fuked then they obviously don't want to maintain a healthy relationship with you. Good women these days are few and far between. I have also noticed a lot women seem to have the "princess syndrome" thinking they are entitled to a "perfect 10/10 man" while they themselves are nothing of that caliber; it's partly to blame on men inflating their egos. Anyway, she seems like a shallow girl who just needed a quick fix, and she also does not seem to be in very good place to criticize you.

#33 Edited by Sword-Demon (6964 posts) -

The general assumption is that most people are looking to lose their virginity asap, meaning that if you're in your mid 20's, you've spent a good 7-10 years trying and failing to get a girl.

I personally don't give a damn, but that's the mindset of people who do (insecure people).

#34 Edited by PyratRum (561 posts) -

@Aljosa23 said:

Because a lot of the time virgins that are well into their 20's are fvcking weird.

Inexperienced girls are lame, too.

Yep. If you aren't holding out for religious reasons (nothing wrong with that) and are well over 20 and still haven't gotten laid, you are most likely a weird ass loser.

#35 Posted by Dariency (9406 posts) -

I think it's best if you wait until you find the right person, and that may not happen until you're in your mid or even late 20s. Sure the desire is there, but I believe it'll be much more special if my first experience is with someone I have a serious bond with.

#36 Posted by lamprey263 (23173 posts) -

because they bleed, blood is gross

#37 Edited by kingoflife9 (1987 posts) -

It's because it's a sign of inferiority. Girls like a guy that every other girl wants....you told her you're a virgin and her programmed brain said "if he's a virgin for so long, other girls must not want him, therefore I don't want him". Just keep it to yourself, with women, less is more, you treat them like shit they keep coming back. You talk too much your needy, you talk less then she tries extra hard to get your attention.

I should write a book.

#38 Posted by worlock77 (22547 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

What exactly is special about virginity? What makes it something to be treasured?

#39 Posted by Netret0120 (2033 posts) -

It should be treasured because you don't wanna lose it to any girl you meet at the club.

I lost mine to my girlfriend whom i have been dating for 2 years now so i don't regret it.

To the TC, the 1st time is always below par, with practice u will get better

#40 Posted by Praisedasun (444 posts) -

@Aljosa23 said:

Because a lot of the time virgins that are well into their 20's are fvcking weird.

Inexperienced girls are lame, too.

Change your avatar.You disgrace Jose.

#41 Edited by chaoscougar1 (36779 posts) -

Girls find that very attractive. Virginity should be treasured. It is one gift you cannot buy. The ultimate gift.

It's good you didn't waste it.

That's one disappointing gift...
And finding it attractive? That depends on how old you are

#42 Edited by LJS9502_basic (150335 posts) -

Some do.....some don't. Anyway people only know if you tell them.

#43 Edited by ad1x2 (5508 posts) -
@Netret0120 said:

It should be treasured because you don't wanna lose it to any girl you meet at the club.

Some guys may not want to lose it to any girl they meet at the club but your average teen wants to lose it as fast as possible and will lose it to anybody who is willing to take it. Peer pressure during high school only makes it worse.

Outside of religious reasons, fears of getting an STD, or fears of getting someone pregnant, there really isn't any good reason to attempt to stay a virgin until marriage in modern times. STDs and unwanted pregnancy can be avoided in most situations by safe sex.

If you are in a committed relationship and your girlfriend isn't ready yet then by all means, stay fateful to her if you are willing to wait with her. Also, if somebody wants to stay a virgin for their own person reasons then all power to them.

#44 Edited by PrincessGomez92 (3479 posts) -

Don't know. I'm not bothered by being a virgin.

#45 Edited by MirkoS77 (7165 posts) -

I think a lot of people find that being able to get laid is the ultimate form of acceptance and approval. It's validation of not only character but coming of age and/or defining one's sexual identity. It's also a way for people to feel superior to others for self-esteem. Just my guess.

People claim virgins pathetic but what is pathetic is to lose it solely for the approval of others who more than likely couldn't give a care for them. I know friends of mine who lost it in high school and wish they had waited.

Forget that chick. Sucks you stamped your card with a bitch.

#46 Edited by ShepardCommandr (2417 posts) -

They are just jealous of my awesome wizard powers......

#47 Edited by indzman (17244 posts) -

virginity sucks . when you find out you saved your virginity for a special person who slept around in past you will feel devastated. Plus it pays to be experienced in sex from beforehand or you gonna end up dissapointing your sexual partner. Sex is always good :)

#48 Posted by WheresKinggiAt (7400 posts) -

You don't know anything about sex. If you want to be good at sex, you need to work at it.

It's completely normal for a grown woman not to want to deal with the baggage of having sex with a virgin.

Practice on hoodrats, or if you seek a relationship, make sure you are open and honest with the woman before you have sex with her. Just as there's nothing "wrong" with being a virgin, there's nothing "wrong" with not wanting to deal with virgin baggage as an adult.