Why do I cheat in relationships?

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#1 Posted by k41m (720 posts) -

Am I just a crappy person? I was just thinking back and every relationship I've been in I've cheated on her. When the topic comes up (like when we first meet) I always act like a saint "I've never cheated in my life, why be in a relationship with somebody if your just going to be with somebody else, your the only one I want babe." It seems though the first chance I get I will get with somebody else for a quick. When I think back on it I feel like such a horrible person and it depresses me that I took advantage of those women's trust and love, and it seems like I always try my best to get caught or to let her find out awhile after it happens.

What the hell is wrong with me?

#2 Posted by Iszdope (9383 posts) -

I think you stink.

#3 Posted by jimkabrhel (15416 posts) -

Because your an ass. Why not just avoid relationship and do what you want? If you are going to cheat, it's not worth getting in relationships in the first place.

#4 Posted by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

You have no backbone apparently. The more you do this, the more trust issues you will have later on. Everything comes around.

#5 Edited by Chutebox (36166 posts) -

Your left hand looked lonely

#6 Posted by bforrester420 (996 posts) -

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

#7 Posted by Mikey132 (5101 posts) -

You answered your own question when you said you will get with someone else the first chance you get. Looks like that's why you cheat! You should have asked "Why do I bother getting into a relationship?"

#8 Posted by osirisx3 (1685 posts) -

I'll tell you why! COMMUNISM!

On a serious note maybe you are just a lone wolf. Being tied down to someone maybe just is not in your nature.

#9 Posted by magicalclick (22214 posts) -

Hummmm.... Couldn't you start a open relationship from the beginning? Or at least let her know your sluty nature? There are many reasons why one like to screw around, but, there is one thing that cannot be salvaged. If you go out to dinner with other people just to get away from your gf, this type of lose of interests cannot be salvaged. If you screw around, but, still love your gf and give her the attention she needs, and let her know what's going on, an open relationship will be a doable solution. Heck, personally I think it is like playing video games together, you should left your gf out of the fun, you should invite her to the game night.

#10 Posted by magicalclick (22214 posts) -

I meant, you should not left your gf out of the fun. Can't correct the post with mobile browser due to crappy forum design.

#11 Posted by thehig1 (819 posts) -

You have not met that person who is going to be the one, when that happens you wont cheat. Not that I condone cheating in relationships but from my experience I cheated on a handful relationships before my current, I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years now and never been tempted or thought about cheating

#12 Posted by Master_Live (13591 posts) -

Because when the chips are down, these so called civilized people will eat each other.

#13 Posted by MrGeezer (55936 posts) -

@thehig1 said:

You have not met that person who is going to be the one, when that happens you wont cheat. Not that I condone cheating in relationships but from my experience I cheated on a handful relationships before my current, I have been with my girlfriend for 8 years now and never been tempted or thought about cheating

That's the biggest load of horseshit I've ever seen. You're making excuses for the guy, essentially saying that it's not his fault. Hell, it's even kind of HER fault for not being "the one". And screw that line of thinking. He's a grown ass man, he's responsible for his own actions.

Furthermore, if you believe in the concept of the one person for you (and I think that concept is bullshit), then it's entirely possible that he already ruined his one chance by cheating.

#14 Posted by airshocker (28191 posts) -

Because you're a coward. You're too scared to admit to these girls that, deep down, you don't want to be limited to just being with them. If you were upfront and honest about what kind of relationship you want with these girls I would still think your behavior repugnant but it wouldn't be nearly as bad as cheating on them.

#15 Edited by GazaAli (22491 posts) -

You have no backbone apparently. The more you do this, the more trust issues you will have later on. Everything comes around.

I'm fond of this reply. What goes around comes around indeed you just wait for it TC.

#16 Edited by GazaAli (22491 posts) -

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

#17 Posted by Korvus (2315 posts) -

Because you're a coward. You're too scared to admit to these girls that, deep down, you don't want to be limited to just being with them. If you were upfront and honest about what kind of relationship you want with these girls I would still think your behavior repugnant but it wouldn't be nearly as bad as cheating on them.

If nothing else, when he does find someone he DOES want to stay with, he'll be paranoid as hell! =P

#18 Posted by Wilfred_Owen (20794 posts) -

I'm better than all of you. And Chinese Checkers.

#19 Posted by lamprey263 (22412 posts) -

well, people rarely change, might as well make sure you at least don't ruin any of these girl's lives by getting a vasectomy

#20 Edited by k41m (720 posts) -

Wow I seem to have hit a soft spot with a lot of you. Oh well thanks for the replies. I wish I could find an open relationship, I never cared much if the women I was with wanted to go have their own fun and cheat.. I dunno if they did but I never cared to get jealous about anything like that.

#21 Edited by bforrester420 (996 posts) -

@GazaAli said:

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

Men are biologically geared to spread their DNA to as many potential mates as possible. It's a simple function of evolution and the same holds for 99% of the mammal species on the planet. Monogamy is an extremely rare trait in nature. In fact, Polygamy is more common in human societies than Monogamy.

I agree with the consensus that if you agree to be monogamous with your mate and you're incapable of doing so, you shouldn't be in a committed relationship.

#22 Posted by k41m (720 posts) -

@GazaAli said:

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

I must have hit a chord with you, I'm going to say you have been cheated on before. It's not like I sneak around, I always make sure they find out about it. Doesn't make it better, but still.

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

Your acting like afterwards I tense my fingers up like Mr. Burns and say "Excellent!" which isn't the case. Even now when I think back on it I feel like a piece of trash and it makes me sad.

#23 Edited by indzman (16378 posts) -

@k41m said:

@GazaAli said:

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

You should search RED LIGHT districts =P

#24 Posted by ReadingRainbow4 (12748 posts) -

There's a simple answer to this. You're just an asshole.

#25 Posted by Netret0120 (1884 posts) -

You have no backbone apparently. The more you do this, the more trust issues you will have later on. Everything comes around.

What goes around comes back around.

#26 Posted by thehig1 (819 posts) -

@MrGeezer: the biggest load of horseshit? You've never heard anything worse?

It's not that obsurd what I said, if he cheats on them then he doesn't care about the girl by default. I said I wasn't coding cheating but mentioning in my case I chaeted in previous relationships but never have in my current long term relationship.

People are different he could just be a dick

#27 Edited by Korvus (2315 posts) -

@k41m said:

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

So you want to screw around and wouldn't mind being in a relationship where your partner does the same. Sounds fair to me; so why do you, instead of being patient until you find someone like that, feel the need to convince a girl you're only into her and then cheat on her? Do you have that little control over where your genitals end up?

Man up and tell the girl upfront "I'm going to be fucking around". If she doesn't like it and leaves, that's her choice, but if you don't give her the choice, then you ARE being an ass to her; apologies for my bluntness...

#28 Posted by k41m (720 posts) -

#29 Posted by one_plum (6295 posts) -

@k41m said:

Wow I seem to have hit a soft spot with a lot of you. Oh well thanks for the replies. I wish I could find an open relationship, I never cared much if the women I was with wanted to go have their own fun and cheat.. I dunno if they did but I never cared to get jealous about anything like that.

Then you should only find women who share your philosophy.

#30 Edited by ReadingRainbow4 (12748 posts) -

@k41m said:

Let's be real for a second, you actually consider cheating on multiple women a positive thing.

"When I think back on it I feel like such a horrible person and it depresses me that I took advantage of those women's trust and love"

Way to contradict yourself. Those who are truly sorry usually work to stop the activities that cause them and those they associate with so much grief. I hope for your sake none of them have brothers or fathers with access to firearms.

In your case since you possess two first names it might just be your cousins tho, I can't really comment on interfamilal relations.

#31 Posted by turtlethetaffer (16364 posts) -

Because you're weak willed and don't have the balls to admit to being a guy that likes being with someone else than who you're currently with.

#32 Posted by Korvus (2315 posts) -
#33 Edited by ReadingRainbow4 (12748 posts) -

@korvus said:

@ReadingRainbow4: I think we're being trolled XD

Could be, lol.

Either that or Farmer John figured out how his net book works.

#34 Edited by lonewolf604 (8508 posts) -

Who cares what anyone thinks here. Not everyone is meant to be some monogamous white knight. On the other hand, you might want to think twice before hurting more women.

#35 Posted by Korvus (2315 posts) -

@lonewolf604: I don't think people here are berating him for not being monogamous but for him purposefully lying to the girls he "dates".

#36 Edited by tymeservesfate (1469 posts) -

because of big round booties..??

#37 Edited by k41m (720 posts) -

@ReadingRainbow4 said:

@k41m said:

Let's be real for a second, you actually consider cheating on multiple women a positive thing.

"When I think back on it I feel like such a horrible person and it depresses me that I took advantage of those women's trust and love"

Way to contradict yourself. Those who are truly sorry usually work to stop the activities that cause them and those they associate with so much grief. I hope for your sake none of them have brothers or fathers with access to firearms.

In your case since you possess two first names it might just be your cousins tho, I can't really comment on interfamilal relations.

lol the video was just a joke dude take it easy. Way to sink down to making fun of my first and middle name, is that what you do when you can't think of anything else to say? Southerner jokes and "Oh you have a stupid name" jokes?

#38 Edited by GazaAli (22491 posts) -

@GazaAli said:

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

Men are biologically geared to spread their DNA to as many potential mates as possible. It's a simple function of evolution and the same holds for 99% of the mammal species on the planet. Monogamy is an extremely rare trait in nature. In fact, Polygamy is more common in human societies than Monogamy.

I agree with the consensus that if you agree to be monogamous with your mate and you're incapable of doing so, you shouldn't be in a committed relationship.

I do agree that humans are most likely not a monogamous species, which is kind of irrelevant to be honest with you since humans' heightened and exceptional state of consciousness or cognizance and sapience elevate the individual above mere biological or imprinted functions. In any case just like you perfectly put it, you shouldn't enter into an agreement or social contract with someone knowing that you would not be honoring it.

#39 Edited by IMAHAPYHIPPO (2532 posts) -

@k41m: Most misbehavior can be attributed to a past, seemingly irrelevant experience that deeply impacts how you handle things in the present. Are your parents divorced? Did one of your parents bail out on you? As cliche as it sounds, study the relationship of your parents. That's one of the biggest, inadvertent contributors to how your beliefs form on what constitutes a healthy relationship.

After that, think about the relationships of your closest friends. Do most of your buddies advocate infidelity? How does your best friend behave in relationships?

Look at the relationships you've been surrounded by and think about how they might have impacted your feelings on your own relationships. Something in your subconscious is telling you this is okay, even when you know it's not.

#40 Posted by Sword-Demon (6869 posts) -

@k41m said:

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

You really must not be looking that hard; whores are everywhere..

but answer this for me - Why do you lie to these girls and say you only want them? Do you get some sort of thrill when you get them to date you with a bunch of lies? Is the sex better for you when it's not your girlfriend? Do you enjoy seeing them hurt when they find out? What do you get out of all of this that makes it worth doing?

To me, it seems like it's more trouble than it's worth to start a relationship, cheat on her, and then make sure you get caught. Since you seem to have no trouble picking up women, why the charade?

#41 Posted by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

@k41m said:

@GazaAli said:

@bforrester420 said:

Biology and a lack of self-discipline

What does biology have to do with him being a lowly degenerate? If he wants to spread his sperm around so be it, he just does not need to be a fucker and get into a relationship knowing beforehand that he will be cheating on his partner.

In short, stick to one night stands if you're big on teh biology.

I must have hit a chord with you, I'm going to say you have been cheated on before. It's not like I sneak around, I always make sure they find out about it. Doesn't make it better, but still.

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

Your acting like afterwards I tense my fingers up like Mr. Burns and say "Excellent!" which isn't the case. Even now when I think back on it I feel like a piece of trash and it makes me sad.

Most people have been cheated on but that's not the only reason you struck a nerve with this topic. You ruin it for the men who are actually faithful, We meet a girl we like but they have serious trust issues and have problems letting anyone in so we have to work twice as hard or sometimes we don't even get a fair chance because guys like you have screwed them over. It's not as simple as you doing it then telling them about it. What you do affects everyone. You cheated on her and now she thinks something is wrong with herself so she will naturally blame herself which could affect everyone shes with after. You blow a chance with someone that could have been good for you. Everyone she knows might be tipped off on how you are and they might look down on you. Everyone you know might see it and say "well, he did it, so why can't I? That's more so why the world is getting shittier. Morals and values are underrated and not enough lead by example and way too many follow the wrong examples. Really not attacking you man, I've actually enjoyed your topics but consider thinking big picture with your brain instead of here and now with your dick.

#42 Edited by Behardy24 (2278 posts) -
#43 Posted by k41m (720 posts) -

@k41m said:

I do wish I could just find a women that I could be with that screws around and doesn't mind if I screw around.

You really must not be looking that hard; whores are everywhere..

but answer this for me - Why do you lie to these girls and say you only want them? Do you get some sort of thrill when you get them to date you with a bunch of lies? Is the sex better for you when it's not your girlfriend? Do you enjoy seeing them hurt when they find out? What do you get out of all of this that makes it worth doing?

To me, it seems like it's more trouble than it's worth to start a relationship, cheat on her, and then make sure you get caught. Since you seem to have no trouble picking up women, why the charade?

If you want me to be completely and totally honest with you, no I don't enjoy seeing them hurt it makes me want to die inside but I feel like I deserve it somehow.. I deserve the punishment that comes after I make it so they find out. I don't even really seek after other women, the past few relationships I've been in I tried my hardest but I always feel like I never deserved to be with anybody in a steady relationship.. I don't know I can't explain it to be honest. I tried to overdose after one failed relationship but it didn't work, I haven't done anything that crazy since and that was about 5 years ago but I am a drug addict (xanax and methadone). I don't know whats up with me.

Yeah I might have been joking around with the Boondocks video but honestly I wasn't trying to piss anybody off, I was actually looking for a response like this or the one that bowchicka07 put up. Who knows, I will never understand the human mind especially mine.

#44 Edited by Iszdope (9383 posts) -

I still think you stink.

#45 Edited by chaoscougar1 (36697 posts) -

@k41m said:

Am I just a crappy person?

Yes

#46 Posted by playmynutz (5921 posts) -

FEED ME

how do I cheat

#47 Posted by mjorh (582 posts) -

Everyone cheats....but a few like you have the courage to admit ...."If you don't cheat , you'll be cheated" !

#48 Edited by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

@mjorh said:

Everyone cheats....but a few like you have the courage to admit ...."If you don't cheat , you'll be cheated" !

I don't cheat. I know plenty who don't. "That kind of thinking could do us in."

#49 Edited by LittleMac19 (1638 posts) -

Look at quagmire's lifestyle and apply that to your lifestyle, problem solved

#50 Posted by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

Look at quagmire's lifestyle and apply that to your lifestyle, problem solved

Not really. Quag just bangs every chick he can. TC engages in a relationship then cheats purposely.