Was I used? I think so...

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#1 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

I think a girl used me...

Here is the story:

I know this girl from college, but I didn't talked to her the whole semester. She made the first move via Facebook. We talked, and she said she wanted to talk to me all semester, but she didn't because she was too scared. Also, she said I was a great guy, and I was cute. We went on a few dates; it went really well.

Last week she said she wants this to work out, but then she told me when we were hanging out, "she will always have feelings for the last guy she was seeing" They were only seeing each other for two months, and the guy didn't want a relationship... I should have ended it there, but for some reason, I didn't.

She cancelled going out for lunch on her bday, but I went out with her and her friends that night. Something didn't feel right... she wasn't talking to me as much, and not really hanging out with me. But I thought she just wanted to be with her friends.

The following day, she said she's not ready for a relationship, and that she still wants to hang out with me and that she cares about me. She said this all though text. I got pissed off, and told her she used me to get over the last guy she was seeing. She said she didn't use me, and she feels really bad, but I think she is full of BS! She kept trying to make me look like the bad guy, and tried to make me feel sorry for her. But I didn't bite!

What do you guys think?

#2 Posted by br0kenrabbit (12992 posts) -

"Being used" typically means they got something out of you, and not just your time.

Did you lose any money? The house? The car? Did she get babies from you then split and file for child support?

#3 Posted by thegerg (15278 posts) -

I think a girl used me...

Here is the story:

I know this girl from college, but I didn't talked to her the whole semester. She made the first move via Facebook. We talked, and she said she wanted to talk to me all semester, but she didn't because she was too scared. Also, she said I was a great guy, and I was cute. We went on a few dates; it went really well.

Last week she said she wants this to work out, but then she told me when we were hanging out, "she will always have feelings for the last guy she was seeing" They were only seeing each other for two months, and the guy didn't want a relationship... I should have ended it there, but for some reason, I didn't.

She cancelled going out for lunch on her bday, but I went out with her and her friends that night. Something didn't feel right... she wasn't talking to me as much, and not really hanging out with me. But I thought she just wanted to be with her friends.

The following day, she said she's not ready for a relationship, and that she still wants to hang out with me and that she cares about me. She said this all though text. I got pissed off, and told her she used me to get over the last guy she was seeing. She said she didn't use me, and she feels really bad, but I think she is full of BS! She kept trying to make me look like the bad guy, and tried to make me feel sorry for her. But I didn't bite!

What do you guys think?

SenatorsFan2002
What, exactly, do you think she used you FOR? She didn't get anyhting out of it.
#4 Posted by br0kenrabbit (12992 posts) -

What, exactly, do you think she used you FOR? She didn't get anyhting out of it.thegerg

Why do we keep agreeing? This ain't right.

You're ugly!!

Now I feel better.:D

#5 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

"Being used" typically means they got something out of you, and not just your time.

Did you lose any money? The house? The car? Did she get babies from you then split and file for child support?

br0kenrabbit

I spend money for us to go to a hockey game, dinner, some drinks at the bar etc.

She vents a lot about her problems, and never really asked me about my problems.... I had to tell her

I think she used me mostly for comfort because the last guy she was seeing really hurt her when he didn't want a relationship. She told me that it hurt her.

#6 Posted by br0kenrabbit (12992 posts) -

I spend money for us to go to a hockey game, dinner, some drinks at the bar etc.

SenatorsFan2002

Waaah.

I lost this house to a woman:

house.jpg

#7 Posted by lightleggy (16007 posts) -
Oh man, gotta hate gals like those, i've met a few.
#8 Posted by BenedictArnold7 (701 posts) -
Maybe she didn't use you... she was lonely and she wanted to be with someone... that really isn't "using" someone in a malicious way... we all "use" people, but grante it isn't "evil" using I see no problem. Maybe she just realized you weren't for her. Solution? BONE HER.
#9 Posted by lightleggy (16007 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

I spend money for us to go to a hockey game, dinner, some drinks at the bar etc.

br0kenrabbit

Waaah.

I lost this house to a woman:

house.jpg

Lady liberty I pressume.

#10 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

I spend money for us to go to a hockey game, dinner, some drinks at the bar etc.

br0kenrabbit

Waaah.

I lost this house to a woman:

house.jpg

That really sucks man... sorry to hear that:(

#11 Posted by lightleggy (16007 posts) -
Maybe she didn't use you... she was lonely and she wanted to be with someone... that really isn't "using" someone in a malicious way... we all "use" people, but grante it isn't "evil" using I see no problem. Maybe she just realized you weren't for her. Solution? BONE HER. BenedictArnold7
Yup. I had a friend who started dating another friend because he wanted to get over his ex, it was all going well until my friend (the girl) discovered the guy's diary where he conffesed he still loved her ex and couldn't stop thinking about her. a dumb move from his part, really.
#12 Posted by br0kenrabbit (12992 posts) -

Lady liberty I pressume.

lightleggy

No. Far more moody than that.:x

#13 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

I think a girl used me...

Here is the story:

I know this girl from college, but I didn't talked to her the whole semester. She made the first move via Facebook. We talked, and she said she wanted to talk to me all semester, but she didn't because she was too scared. Also, she said I was a great guy, and I was cute. We went on a few dates; it went really well.

Last week she said she wants this to work out, but then she told me when we were hanging out, "she will always have feelings for the last guy she was seeing" They were only seeing each other for two months, and the guy didn't want a relationship... I should have ended it there, but for some reason, I didn't.

She cancelled going out for lunch on her bday, but I went out with her and her friends that night. Something didn't feel right... she wasn't talking to me as much, and not really hanging out with me. But I thought she just wanted to be with her friends.

The following day, she said she's not ready for a relationship, and that she still wants to hang out with me and that she cares about me. She said this all though text. I got pissed off, and told her she used me to get over the last guy she was seeing. She said she didn't use me, and she feels really bad, but I think she is full of BS! She kept trying to make me look like the bad guy, and tried to make me feel sorry for her. But I didn't bite!

What do you guys think?

thegerg

What, exactly, do you think she used you FOR? She didn't get anyhting out of it.

I responded to br0kenrabbit. He asked the same question.

#14 Posted by Wolf-Man2006 (4187 posts) -

Getting used?... Not even close

#15 Posted by Cloud_Insurance (3279 posts) -

did you get head at least?

#16 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

did you get head at least?

Cloud_Insurance

Nope:( We just cuddled and made out

#17 Posted by br0kenrabbit (12992 posts) -

[QUOTE="Cloud_Insurance"]

did you get head at least?

SenatorsFan2002

Nope:( We just cuddled and made out

Blue balls suck.:evil:

#18 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Getting used?... Not even close

Wolf-Man2006

Well, I think I was, or maybe I was overreacting.

Whatevs..

#19 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="Cloud_Insurance"]

did you get head at least?

br0kenrabbit

Nope:( We just cuddled and made out

Blue balls suck.:evil:

That's for damn sure! lol.

#20 Posted by CreasianDevaili (4128 posts) -
Dating is traditionally used to get to know if you like someone or not. But a large portion, yourself included, think dating is codeword for "Wanna fuvk?". Unfortunately for you it seems you and her had definition problems.
#21 Posted by magicalclick (22698 posts) -
Obviously she is afraid to love again after the previous heart break. Or she is indeed manipulative. But, I would rather assume she is deeply hurt and wanting to find comfort in a new relationship. Using you? Maybe. But it doesn't change the fact that, she finds you attractive one way or another.
#22 Posted by cheese_game619 (13316 posts) -
she used you in the sense that she never had any long term plans for you you were nice and would be a shoulder for her to cry on you wouldnt push her to do anything sexual she felt safe with you and 'used' you to recover from the other guy in other words, you were a perfect rebound, and now she wants to be your friend any other answer is wrong
#23 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Maybe she didn't use you... she was lonely and she wanted to be with someone... that really isn't "using" someone in a malicious way... we all "use" people, but grante it isn't "evil" using I see no problem. Maybe she just realized you weren't for her. Solution? BONE HER. BenedictArnold7

Well, if that was the reason, "she was lonely", she should never of talked to me because it's not fair to me. If she realized I wasn't for her, I would rather her tell me than tell me BS! She said she likes hanging of with me, and she had fun on the dates.

I think it's bull, and I'm not going to put up whit it!

#24 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

she used you in the sense that she never had any long term plans for you you were nice and would be a shoulder for her to cry on you wouldnt push her to do anything sexual she felt safe with you and 'used' you to recover from the other guy in other words, you were a perfect rebound, and now she wants to be your friend any other answer is wrongcheese_game619

You are right about everything except I did push her alittle bit for sexual things.

#25 Posted by FMAB_GTO (14385 posts) -
Are you sue you did nothing wrong? ;o
#26 Posted by Kats_RK (2080 posts) -

psh who cares.Get a other girl.She's probably still have feelings for the other guy.

#27 Posted by johnd13 (8151 posts) -

I don' t think she approached you intentionally in order to feel better and then dump you. She probably wanted someone to "love" her again but then realised she can' t get in a new relationship having feelings for her ex. It does seem a little unfair towards you but she' s a person too and as all she makes such potentially wrong decisions.

#28 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Are you sue you did nothing wrong? ;oFMAB_GTO

No, I don't think so.... All I can think of is I told her that I want a relationship. So that could of scared her off, but she did say she wants this to work out. Girls are just really weird!

You can't live with them and you can't live with out them!

#29 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Obviously she is afraid to love again after the previous heart break. Or she is indeed manipulative. But, I would rather assume she is deeply hurt and wanting to find comfort in a new relationship. Using you? Maybe. But it doesn't change the fact that, she finds you attractive one way or another.magicalclick

I hope you're right!

#30 Posted by Jackc8 (8500 posts) -

Doesn't really matter if you were used or it just didn't work out. Bottom line is it's over.

#31 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Dating is traditionally used to get to know if you like someone or not. But a large portion, yourself included, think dating is codeword for "Wanna fuvk?". Unfortunately for you it seems you and her had definition problems. CreasianDevaili

Yeah, I think you might be right.... We both wanted different things.

I wanted sex or at least head pretty much after the third date..... She probably thought that's all I wanted, and she didn't want to get hurt again, maybe.

#32 Posted by LJS9502_basic (151111 posts) -
Man up. She told you straight up in the beginning she still had feelings....you pursued her. She didn't feel anything extra for you. It's over. Deal. Oh...and that is NOT what being used entails.
#33 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

Man up. She told you straight up in the beginning she still had feelings....you pursued her. She didn't feel anything extra for you. It's over. Deal. Oh...and that is NOT what being used entails.LJS9502_basic

Not at the begining.... it's was the forth date she said that, and I should of ended it then. I also, had a chance to ended ealier, but I didn't.... maybe I didn't end it because I'm inexperience with women, and I wanted sex.

#34 Posted by cheese_game619 (13316 posts) -

[QUOTE="cheese_game619"]she used you in the sense that she never had any long term plans for you you were nice and would be a shoulder for her to cry on you wouldnt push her to do anything sexual she felt safe with you and 'used' you to recover from the other guy in other words, you were a perfect rebound, and now she wants to be your friend any other answer is wrongSenatorsFan2002

You are right about everything except I did push her alittle bit for sexual things.

it doesnt matter what actually happened thats what she thought of you as hell it could be why it didnt last longer
#35 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="cheese_game619"]she used you in the sense that she never had any long term plans for you you were nice and would be a shoulder for her to cry on you wouldnt push her to do anything sexual she felt safe with you and 'used' you to recover from the other guy in other words, you were a perfect rebound, and now she wants to be your friend any other answer is wrongcheese_game619

You are right about everything except I did push her alittle bit for sexual things.

it doesnt matter what actually happened thats what she thought of you as hell it could be why it didnt last longer

yeah, you're right!

Not the treatment I deserve, but the treatment I needed to become a better man!!

#36 Posted by shadowkiller11 (7956 posts) -
Could of been worse but keep away from headf*cks.
#37 Posted by shadowkiller11 (7956 posts) -

[QUOTE="cheese_game619"][QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

You are right about everything except I did push her alittle bit for sexual things.

SenatorsFan2002

it doesnt matter what actually happened thats what she thought of you as hell it could be why it didnt last longer

yeah, you're right!

Not the treatment I deserve, but the treatment I needed to become a better man!!

Did you Do it? Because that makes a difference whether or not she used used you as just a friend or a lover.
#38 Posted by Allicrombie (25197 posts) -
It happens. Some people just aren't ready for a serious relationship.
#39 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="cheese_game619"] it doesnt matter what actually happened thats what she thought of you as hell it could be why it didnt last longershadowkiller11

yeah, you're right!

Not the treatment I deserve, but the treatment I needed to become a better man!!

Did you Do it? Because that makes a difference whether or not she used used you as just a friend or a lover.

We talked about it.... she says she always waits around 3 months before sleeping with some one.

All me did was cuddled and made out...

#40 Posted by Nengo_Flow (9770 posts) -
im going through the same thing now. Except its not an ex BF, its a guy that she has been talking to thats in the Navy, but since they only seen each other once before he left for the Navy, they didnt have anything. EXCEPT that she does want a relationship with him, but obviously cant cuz he aint here. They talk on skype all the time, everyday really. I got with her, lost of "quality time" with her and then when things were getting serious, she pulls the she aint ready for a relationship, she doesnt know what she wants. Well guess what, the Navy guy came down to visit last saturday and they already went out on a date.............. She hasnt contacted me since... she used me, she did all that stuff with me cuz she couldnt get it from Navy boy at the time.
#41 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

im going through the same thing now. Except its not an ex BF, its a guy that she has been talking to thats in the Navy, but since they only seen each other once before he left for the Navy, they didnt have anything. EXCEPT that she does want a relationship with him, but obviously cant cuz he aint here. They talk on skype all the time, everyday really. I got with her, lost of "quality time" with her and then when things were getting serious, she pulls the she aint ready for a relationship, she doesnt know what she wants. Well guess what, the Navy guy came down to visit last saturday and they already went out on a date.............. She hasnt contacted me since... she used me, she did all that stuff with me cuz she couldnt get it from Navy boy at the time.Nengo_Flow

I`m sorry to hear that man! I hate it when girls play with our emotions like that; they are so selfish!

I`m inexperience with women, so I never got used before.... Nevertheless, I know the signs now, and I will make sure this will never happen to me again! Before this girl, I have only been on one date. The main reason why is because I`m a shy guy.

#42 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

It happens. Some people just aren't ready for a serious relationship.Allicrombie

I guarantee you if the other guy comes back in the picture, she will have a relationship with him! I think she wants a relationship... She just does not want one with me...

To tell you the truth, I`ve seen the other guy, and I think I`m better looking! Oh well, sh** happens... It`s her lost!

#43 Posted by Nengo_Flow (9770 posts) -

[QUOTE="Nengo_Flow"]im going through the same thing now. Except its not an ex BF, its a guy that she has been talking to thats in the Navy, but since they only seen each other once before he left for the Navy, they didnt have anything. EXCEPT that she does want a relationship with him, but obviously cant cuz he aint here. They talk on skype all the time, everyday really. I got with her, lost of "quality time" with her and then when things were getting serious, she pulls the she aint ready for a relationship, she doesnt know what she wants. Well guess what, the Navy guy came down to visit last saturday and they already went out on a date.............. She hasnt contacted me since... she used me, she did all that stuff with me cuz she couldnt get it from Navy boy at the time.SenatorsFan2002

I`m sorry to hear that man! I hate it when girls play with our emotions like that; they are so selfish!

I`m inexperience with women, so I never got used before.... Nevertheless, I know the signs now, and I will make sure this will never happen to me again! Before this girl, I have only been on one date. The main reason why is because I`m a shy guy.

Yeah.... Obviously I didnt know at the time that there was a Navy Boy. Half way through our "thing" (cuz we werent even dating yet, she mention some guy tha was her friend that was in the Navy.... Im like ok..... Later on I find out they talk every day.... Well Im thinking well....... he was here before me and supposeably they dont have anything (they didnt, but they were talking alot). Then when me and her would be together she would compare me to him, be texting him while im right there with her, while telling me that is her best friend and she doesnt even like him like that, its been 6 months since she last saw him, blah blah.
#44 Posted by thegerg (15278 posts) -

[QUOTE="Allicrombie"]It happens. Some people just aren't ready for a serious relationship.SenatorsFan2002

I guarantee you if the other guy comes back in the picture, she will have a relationship with him! I think she wants a relationship... She just does not want one with me...

To tell you the truth, I`ve seen the other guy, and I think I`m better looking! Oh well, sh** happens... It`s her lost!

Her lost what?
#45 Posted by thegerg (15278 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="Nengo_Flow"]im going through the same thing now. Except its not an ex BF, its a guy that she has been talking to thats in the Navy, but since they only seen each other once before he left for the Navy, they didnt have anything. EXCEPT that she does want a relationship with him, but obviously cant cuz he aint here. They talk on skype all the time, everyday really. I got with her, lost of "quality time" with her and then when things were getting serious, she pulls the she aint ready for a relationship, she doesnt know what she wants. Well guess what, the Navy guy came down to visit last saturday and they already went out on a date.............. She hasnt contacted me since... she used me, she did all that stuff with me cuz she couldnt get it from Navy boy at the time.Nengo_Flow

I`m sorry to hear that man! I hate it when girls play with our emotions like that; they are so selfish!

I`m inexperience with women, so I never got used before.... Nevertheless, I know the signs now, and I will make sure this will never happen to me again! Before this girl, I have only been on one date. The main reason why is because I`m a shy guy.

Yeah.... Obviously I didnt know at the time that there was a Navy Boy. Half way through our "thing" (cuz we werent even dating yet, she mention some guy tha was her friend that was in the Navy.... Im like ok..... Later on I find out they talk every day.... Well Im thinking well....... he was here before me and supposeably they dont have anything (they didnt, but they were talking alot). Then when me and her would be together she would compare me to him, be texting him while im right there with her, while telling me that is her best friend and she doesnt even like him like that, its been 6 months since she last saw him, blah blah.

Learn how parenthesis work.

#46 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="Allicrombie"]It happens. Some people just aren't ready for a serious relationship.thegerg

I guarantee you if the other guy comes back in the picture, she will have a relationship with him! I think she wants a relationship... She just does not want one with me...

To tell you the truth, I`ve seen the other guy, and I think I`m better looking! Oh well, sh** happens... It`s her lost!

Her lost what?

What do you mean what? It's simple, it's her lost; I didn't lose anything...

I deserve better, and I will get better! haha

#47 Posted by thegerg (15278 posts) -

[QUOTE="thegerg"][QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

I guarantee you if the other guy comes back in the picture, she will have a relationship with him! I think she wants a relationship... She just does not want one with me...

To tell you the truth, I`ve seen the other guy, and I think I`m better looking! Oh well, sh** happens... It`s her lost!

SenatorsFan2002

Her lost what?

What do you mean what? It's simple, it's her lost; I didn't lose anything...

I deserve better, and I will get better! haha

Your post alludes to something of her's that was lost, but you didn't complete your sentence. What was it?

#48 Posted by jeremiah06 (7169 posts) -

[QUOTE="br0kenrabbit"]

"Being used" typically means they got something out of you, and not just your time.

Did you lose any money? The house? The car? Did she get babies from you then split and file for child support?

SenatorsFan2002

I spend money for us to go to a hockey game, dinner, some drinks at the bar etc.

She vents a lot about her problems, and never really asked me about my problems.... I had to tell her

I think she used me mostly for comfort because the last guy she was seeing really hurt her when he didn't want a relationship. She told me that it hurt her.

So... you want your effort back? Got to admit I feel that way at times too...
#49 Posted by SenatorsFan2002 (61 posts) -

[QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

[QUOTE="thegerg"] Her lost what?thegerg

What do you mean what? It's simple, it's her lost; I didn't lose anything...

I deserve better, and I will get better! haha

Your post alludes to something that was lost, what was it?

What I meant by "her lost" is she didn't what to pursue anything with me, and I'm a great guy. She would be likely to have me.

Therefore, it's her lost.

#50 Posted by thegerg (15278 posts) -

[QUOTE="thegerg"][QUOTE="SenatorsFan2002"]

What do you mean what? It's simple, it's her lost; I didn't lose anything...

I deserve better, and I will get better! haha

SenatorsFan2002

Your post alludes to something that was lost, what was it?

What I meant by "her lost" is she didn't what to pursue anything with me, and I'm a great guy. She would be likely to have me.

Therefore, it's her lost.

That makes no sense. Something like, "it's her loss" would make sense.