The difficulties of friendship

I have always found it difficult to build true long lasting relationships with other people, be they co workers, school members, relatives, or even complete strangers.

The struggle to find the right topic to talk about with the other person, topics that will interest both them and you, can be an arduous process that involves a lot more thinking than it should.

The constant reflections, does he think I'm boring? Does she find me ugly? do they think of me as part of their group, or am I just someone they couldn't care less about?

These are things that stream through my mind consistently, even when I try to stop these thoughts, they still creep up on more than one occasion, especially if the person I'm talking to is someone I have recently met.

I'm sure a lot of us have friends with whom we connect and relate to, where we can share topics of interest to us both and talk about them with each other, telling one another our opinions which may differ or be the exact same.

But it is not easy to find individuals with whom you can be yourself with; I have tried many times to change my personality accordingly when I'm talking to other people, even though I knew some of these people from way back, I could never really be myself around them for fear of boring them or otherwise not really drawing their interests, mainly because I felt that we did not have a lot in common.

But it is when we find that individual, that one person that we instantly click with, that is when we can say that we have truly found a best friend, where we can sit with them talking for hours and never feel boredom, where we can share our deepest and darkest of secrets knowing full well that they will keep it and without worrying that they will judge us for it.

After all, I daresay that many of us have bottled up feelings of anger or depression, situations we have faced where we really wanted to say something or talk about a problem with someone but we couldn't, and when we can talk about these emotions with our friends, those people who understand and support us no matter what we say, then that is a great feeling indeed.

Even though we sometimes fight with our best friends, it is usually just for a limited period of time, though we constantly think that we made a mistake or that they made a mistake, we should realize something very important: building things is always so much harder than destroying them, so we should try to put the past behind us, and give them another chance.

But making friends is not as easy as one may think, sure there are confident socialites who can talk with just about anybody, but being yourself around someone is more than a little bit tricky.

So cherish your friends and keep them close, don't overthink things when you meet someone new, and just try to find something you have in common, and if you feel lonely because you can't find that special friend then don't worry, because he is out there somewhere looking for you, just as you are looking for him.

I don't have a large amount of friends, but the few that I do have are people I've become really close to and we always have each other's backs. We don't really fight, we have a few arguments and disagreements but we shrug it off and move on. It is definitely important that there is mutual appreciation for each other and respect which can lead to a very strong bond which becomes beneficial. I'm the type of person that doesn't get bored of people easily though, so I can stick to the same people for a very long time and always learn something new about them.

"I have always found it difficult to build true long lasting relationships with other people, be they co workers, school members, relatives, or even complete strangers".

And that is your problem right there, feeling you have to "build true long lasting relationships". You don't. And that is that.

i dont have any friends, the one i used to have like to think that i dont exist.

The problem now is that at my age, all the people I know already have their close circle of friends, so even if I become friends with some one, Im usually placed in the category of a distant/back up/casual/not even in their top 20 type of friend.

i am a type of person that I am cool with lots of people, but only have 3 people I call friends and those friends are like brothers to me. everyone else I just say I am cool with

@Master_Live: Yeah not many friendships are like those from movies.

Yep.

Friends are boring.

be your own friend. other people are hopeless

You think developing friendships in general are hard try a romantic relationship. That shit is like navigating a labyrinth filled with deadly traps while being chased by ravenous dogs. Worth it in the end but damn I wish it were easier.

I do agree with this to a certain point, it either happens or it doesn't. You don't build it, it get's built naturally. Sometimes you click with that person very well and it happens, other times you don't and it doesn't happen.

I do not have any friends and I feel I am better off keeping it that way.

Who needs friends really?

Heck, this thread is full a lot of lonely people. :P I'm one of those types who will talk to pretty much anyone, but I attribute that to my time working in retail and sales. It's just practice really, I guess.

Since that terrible "Valentine's Heat Incident" in 2007,I can never have friends the same amount as it was before it happened,there's enough to befriend in here,but the thing is that would you trust someone who had a poisoned friendship standing?

Yeah, I don't really have any friends once school ended. I mean, I do, like 5 or so, but I barely keep in contact with them. Usually by myself nowadays. Though I've been a loner basically all my life, so I guess I'm used to it.

Tis still a bit sad.

Exceptionally well written and I can relate to your piece. Not that you are flawed, but have you ever talked to a therapist? I'm being lazy as to why I am asking, but I see a few flags.

Friendship is for the animals. I have technology and pies.

Details. We need details.

@Master_Live: good enough,this incident was dubbed "Valentine's Heat" because of my anger toward a punkass I hate the most at school.this incident lasted for 5 days straight,one of the days this incident took time was February 14, many people became afraid of me(including the principal)because of my anger was so high,it could make me throw tables,and metallic rulers at that guy.after the heated situation,I pledged myself to never come back to that place forever. That school was where I made lots of friends,but that guy made it the opposite,I would hope that there will be fate upon him who took away my real happiness,and friends.I will never forgive him until now.