Should I lend money to this guy ?

#1 Edited by elkoldo (935 posts) -

So this guy in the faculty who once was my assistant teacher in a course came up to me the other day and asked for 100 bucks.Said he'll return in late summer , September namely.I fudged the answer ,saying I'll see what I can do.

He's five years my senior, not a bad guy, but we're not that friendly (actually I'm not friendly with anyone ,social anxiety), we say hi to each other and shake hands and maybe have some chit-chat every now and then , but nothing deeper than that.

Wha' do ya say ?

Edit : If you think I should reject him , what exactly should I tell him ?

Edit 2 : I told him , I couldn't lend more than 50 bucks, though he'd asked for 100.Plus, I consider myself in mid-class , so I really could hold on to every penny of that 50 bucks.

#2 Posted by 4myAmuzumament (1743 posts) -

No. Because no.

#3 Edited by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

@elkoldo said:

So this guy in the faculty who once was my assistant teacher in a course came up to me the other day and asked for 100 bucks.Said he'll return in late summer , September namely.I fudged the answer ,saying I'll see what I can do.

He's five years my senior, not a bad guy, but we're not that friendly (actually I'm not friendly with anyone ,social anxiety), we say hi to each other and shake hands and maybe have some chit-chat every now and then , but nothing deeper than that.

Wha' do ya say ?

Edit : If you think I should reject him , what exactly should I tell him ?

Edit 2 : I told him , I couldn't lend more than 50 bucks, though he'd asked for 100.Plus, I consider myself in mid-class , so I really could hold on to every penny of that 50 bucks.

Don't ever loan money to people you don't know. He won't be the least bit obliged to pay you back. September is a long time from now, odds are one of you will forget about it.

Tell him you don't know him well enough to loan him that without even knowing what it is for. Or just lie and say you're broke and can't afford it.

Bottom line, I wouldn't trust a complete stranger who would just ask for a 100 dollar loan that he wouldn't even pay back until months from now.

#4 Posted by jasean79 (2303 posts) -

I'm surprised you're even asking for advice on this.

Rule of thumb is to NEVER lend out money to anyone outside of family (even if you have the $100). It's not like he's asking to borrow a couple of bucks for lunch or something. If he needs the money that bad, he can visit his bank and try to get one. That way, if he can't pay it back, they'll make sure he knows about it.

#5 Edited by alim298 (1022 posts) -

100 bucks isn't that much. Why is he so desperate?

#6 Edited by johnd13 (7820 posts) -

That doesn't sound like a good idea. Tell him you only have 50 bucks spare and even most of that will have to go towards (insert random thing that would sound believable for you). And then be worried like "Sorry I can't help you. Is this serious, is something wrong?" and take a worried face. :P

#7 Edited by bforrester420 (1049 posts) -

It depends. $100 isn't exactly a princely sum. If your relationship is worth more to you than $100 and you can afford to lose $100, why not? Just don't expect to get that money back. If you go into it with the expectation that you won't be repaid, and you're okay with that, go ahead. Otherwise, politely decline.

#8 Posted by Wilfred_Owen (20803 posts) -

Hell no. They don't pay you guys?

#9 Posted by deeliman (2264 posts) -

You shouldn't lend money to people you don't know very well. My brother once lended 120 euro to someone from his college class who he didn't know well yet, and that dude pretended that he never borrowed any money from him. My brother did get it back eventually because he got him to confess, but there was a very good chance that he'd never see a penny back.

#10 Posted by lamprey263 (22460 posts) -

You'll likely never see him or that $50 again. I think I read something on a bathroom urinal wall of wisdom once a saying like "if you lend a friend $20 and you never see him again then you're probably luckier than you realize", or something like that, basically saying that bad friends can cost you a lot more.

#11 Edited by ShepardCommandr (2155 posts) -

I wouldn't loan 100 bucks to my own mother.

#12 Posted by Behardy24 (2374 posts) -

I wouldn't loan 100 bucks to my own mother.

That is Cold.

#13 Edited by mjorh (634 posts) -

Don't do it cuz u need the money !

#14 Edited by mjorh (634 posts) -

@lamprey263 said:

You'll likely never see him or that $50 again. I think I read something on a bathroom urinal wall of wisdom once a saying like "if you lend a friend $20 and you never see him again then you're probably luckier than you realize", or something like that, basically saying that bad friends can cost you a lot more.

This perspective is riveting !

@ShepardCommandr Man your statement matches your avatar :D , Actually you're avatar is damn hilarious !

#15 Edited by -Blasphemy- (2893 posts) -

I wouldn't loan 100 bucks to my own mother.

damn your ruthless LOL

#16 Posted by Shottayouth13- (6693 posts) -

Unless you're a financial institution, it's not wise to lend money to people you don't know very well.

#17 Edited by bowchicka07 (1069 posts) -

@mjorh said:

@lamprey263 said:

You'll likely never see him or that $50 again. I think I read something on a bathroom urinal wall of wisdom once a saying like "if you lend a friend $20 and you never see him again then you're probably luckier than you realize", or something like that, basically saying that bad friends can cost you a lot more.

This perspective is riveting !

@ShepardCommandr Man your statement matches your avatar :D , Actually you're avatar is damn hilarious !

It's cool but it creeps me the hell out because I tend to stare at it. I like his other ones better. Go to his images and it's the one with Antonio Banderas.

@elkoldo: So what is the verdict?

#18 Edited by pspdseagle (3307 posts) -

I don't think you should. I don't think we should ever lend friends money.

#19 Posted by Korvus (2472 posts) -

It depends. $100 isn't exactly a princely sum. If your relationship is worth more to you than $100 and you can afford to lose $100, why not? Just don't expect to get that money back. If you go into it with the expectation that you won't be repaid, and you're okay with that, go ahead. Otherwise, politely decline.

Well, the TC says they're not really that friendly towards each other, but if they were, is it really worth it to "invest" $100 into a relationship with a person whom you don't expect to pay you back? =P

#20 Edited by elkoldo (935 posts) -

@jasean79 said:

I'm surprised you're even asking for advice on this.

Rule of thumb is to NEVER lend out money to anyone outside of family (even if you have the $100). It's not like he's asking to borrow a couple of bucks for lunch or something. If he needs the money that bad, he can visit his bank and try to get one. That way, if he can't pay it back, they'll make sure he knows about it.

Haha.you bet.

@johnd13 said:

That doesn't sound like a good idea. Tell him you only have 50 bucks spare and even most of that will have to go towards (insert random thing that would sound believable for you). And then be worried like "Sorry I can't help you. Is this serious, is something wrong?" and take a worried face. :P

Lmao.I'll do this.Long live Sparta !

@bforrester420 said:

It depends. $100 isn't exactly a princely sum. If your relationship is worth more to you than $100 and you can afford to lose $100, why not? Just don't expect to get that money back. If you go into it with the expectation that you won't be repaid, and you're okay with that, go ahead. Otherwise, politely decline.

Politely decline.not that he ain't worth that much ,I just can't risk to lose that amount.not even 50 let alone 100.Errr...off the record, is that really you yourself in the photo ? I mean...all the mustache..?!

@deeliman said:

You shouldn't lend money to people you don't know very well. My brother once lended 120 euro to someone from his college class who he didn't know well yet, and that dude pretended that he never borrowed any money from him. My brother did get it back eventually because he got him to confess, but there was a very good chance that he'd never see a penny back.

I won't repeat that mistake I guess.

@lamprey263 said:

You'll likely never see him or that $50 again. I think I read something on a bathroom urinal wall of wisdom once a saying like "if you lend a friend $20 and you never see him again then you're probably luckier than you realize", or something like that, basically saying that bad friends can cost you a lot more.

Man that should be in written in the books that are taught at the schools and the universities, not urinal wall !

@ShepardCommandr said:

I wouldn't loan 100 bucks to my own mother.

@-Blasphemy- said:

damn your ruthless LOL

@behardy24 said:

That is Cold.

Yeah he's a cold ruthless son of a witch ain't he ?! lol

@mjorh Yeah I need it I guess.I'll have to twist him ! (Non-Iranians ;I have to twist him is a Persian idiom, meaning I'll have to...hard to explain...kinda means I have to ditch him ,I'm sure you get the idea =P )

@Shottayouth13- @Wilfred_Owen @4myAmuzumament I'll reject him.

@alim298 I don't know , I didn't even bother to ask what he needed the money for.All I can say is that , he's not in the high-class , he wears not-very-expensive clothes and he lives in the hall of residence, he 's from a different city and doesn't have his own house here.Doesn't rent either.

@bowchicka07 Well, I guess the judgement has been passed over that poor fella.Honestly I'm surprised by the way you all, monotonically , say that I shouldn't do it.Genuinely, if I could risk it , I'd definitely give him a chance.He's not a bad guy like I said.Anyway ,I'll reject him , but I'll do my best to do it very gently , the way our Spartan pal (johnd13) proposed.

Oh and , your bottom line sticks with me ;)

Alright homies , thank you all very much !

#21 Posted by elkoldo (935 posts) -

I don't think you should. I don't think we should ever lend friends money.

Heh, 'cause we might lose our friends right ? =P you know they don't pay back !

@korvus Welcome back ! ain't seen you in a while.

#22 Edited by Korvus (2472 posts) -

@elkoldo: Had some pressing stuff to prepare (got married yesterday =P)

#23 Posted by indzman (16507 posts) -

Negetive

#24 Edited by elkoldo (935 posts) -
@korvus said:

@elkoldo: Had some pressing stuff to prepare (got married yesterday =P)

Congratulations.I do hope you two get old at each other's feet.(that's another Persian idiom , used to express the wish for happiness,loyalty and faithfulness to the end of life, for a young,newly wedded couple. =P)

#25 Edited by Korvus (2472 posts) -

@elkoldo said:
@korvus said:

@elkoldo: Had some pressing stuff to prepare (got married yesterday =P)

Congratulations.I do hope you two get old at each other's feet.(that's another Persian idiom , used to express the wish for happiness,loyalty and faithfulness to the end of life, for a young,newly wedded couple. =P)

I like that =) Thanks!

#26 Edited by deeliman (2264 posts) -

@korvus said:

@elkoldo: Had some pressing stuff to prepare (got married yesterday =P)

Gefeliciteerd ;)

#27 Posted by Korvus (2472 posts) -

@deeliman: Dank je wel! Het was een heel leuke dag =D

#28 Posted by outworld222 (2311 posts) -

You're not close friends with him, you have nothing to gain, he probably won't return your money. I say no.

#29 Edited by indzman (16507 posts) -

Korvus got married ? You should be spending more time with your wifey now than dropping by on OT =P Where are you talking wifey to honeymoon ? Congrats on your marriage :)

#30 Edited by elkoldo (935 posts) -

@outworld222: Yeah that's probably right.I'll gently reject him.Gently, I mean I won't act aggressively.

#31 Edited by bforrester420 (1049 posts) -

@korvus said:

@bforrester420 said:

It depends. $100 isn't exactly a princely sum. If your relationship is worth more to you than $100 and you can afford to lose $100, why not? Just don't expect to get that money back. If you go into it with the expectation that you won't be repaid, and you're okay with that, go ahead. Otherwise, politely decline.

Well, the TC says they're not really that friendly towards each other, but if they were, is it really worth it to "invest" $100 into a relationship with a person whom you don't expect to pay you back? =P

An old roommate of mine, who I used to call my "hetero life mate", asked me to borrow $500 once (we were not roommates at the time). I wrote him a check and told him to consider it a gift. He needed the money to cover living expenses and I could afford to give him the money. I told him to consider it a gift because I didn't want to put pressure on him to repay and I didn't want to burden our friendship with an expectation, that may not have been met, that he would repay me. He was also one of my best friends.

#32 Posted by bforrester420 (1049 posts) -

@bforrester420 said:

It depends. $100 isn't exactly a princely sum. If your relationship is worth more to you than $100 and you can afford to lose $100, why not? Just don't expect to get that money back. If you go into it with the expectation that you won't be repaid, and you're okay with that, go ahead. Otherwise, politely decline.

Politely decline.not that he ain't worth that much ,I just can't risk to lose that amount.not even 50 let alone 100.Errr...off the record, is that really you yourself in the photo ? I mean...all the mustache..?!

No, that's a television character on a show in the U.S., Parks and Recreation. The character's name is Ron Swanson and the actor who portrays him is Nick Offerman. The character is hilarious.

I've updated my profile with a pic of myself.

#33 Edited by Korvus (2472 posts) -

@bforrester420: But that's different, you gave him a gift, not a loan. If you loan money knowing you won't get it back, you're not loaning it to the right person =)

#34 Posted by Bikouchu35 (7242 posts) -

Step back think logically. It's not like a close friend or coworker that you would see very often, so is hard to pressure him into paying you back. Tell him to eff off nicely, not worth losing your lunch money, $100 seems rather weird since is not a lot either.

#35 Posted by bforrester420 (1049 posts) -

@korvus said:

@bforrester420: But that's different, you gave him a gift, not a loan. If you loan money knowing you won't get it back, you're not loaning it to the right person =)

He asked for a loan, but I decided it would be best for him to not to be pressured to repay...he was obviously in a financial bind and having to repay a loan would likely put him right back in a bind...and best if I didn't expect him to repay.

#36 Posted by Korvus (2472 posts) -

@bforrester420: I understand, and I'm not saying you made the wrong choice; I just think your first post was a bit ambiguous and I read it as "If he's a friend you shouldn't expect him to pay back a loan"; now I realise what you were saying was "If he's a friend and you can afford it, consider offering him a gift instead of a loan". (The difference being between the friend not paying because it was a gift and him not paying because he's an ass =P)

#37 Posted by magicalclick (22245 posts) -

Depends on how much you trust him. I have a very good friend who got a job in Google but needed my money for the waiting period. I did because I hate to see him lost his opportunity also I know he is not the freeloader type. But even with all that, it was a challenge to collect the money as he wasn't so good with spending management, yup, smart people weren't always good at money. I have to delay few months to help him pay the credit card before paying back my money. He is already the best of best borrower. So, you should know how difficult that would be.

#38 Edited by elkoldo (935 posts) -

@bforrester420: Haha I see.I suggest you use the pic of yourself ,

'cause that's a lot lovelier ! Man , that mustache dude don't look friendly at all.

@Bikouchu35 C'mon man , we got a lot of inflation but , no meal cost 100 bucks !

@magicalclick He hasn't done anything to gain my trust still if I could take the risk I'd help him.

#39 Edited by shadowkiller11 (7948 posts) -

Why? so you can gain some imaginary karma points? Just no unless it's a close friend in desperate need even then I'll think about it.

#40 Posted by elkoldo (935 posts) -

Why? so you can gain some imaginary karma points? Just no unless it's a close friend in desperate need even then I'll think about it.

Lol at imaginary karma points.......

Anyway guys I rejected him today , told him I had 50 bucks but needed that for something else.Then I was like "Hey I'm terribly sorry..Is it a big problem ? You in trouble ?! " and feigned a worried face , like the Spartan(@johnd13) had suggested =P

#41 Edited by johnd13 (7820 posts) -

@elkoldo said:
@shadowkiller11 said:

Why? so you can gain some imaginary karma points? Just no unless it's a close friend in desperate need even then I'll think about it.

Lol at imaginary karma points.......

Anyway guys I rejected him today , told him I had 50 bucks but needed that for something else.Then I was like "Hey I'm terribly sorry..Is it a big problem ? You in trouble ?! " and feigned a worried face , like the Spartan(@johnd13) had suggested =P

lol I'm glad it worked out for you