[QUOTE="ReaperZA"][QUOTE="oddone12"]So I'm asking this here because someone might have some advice.
Been dating my gf for a year now. We've had our ups and downs. But tonight she says I'm smothering her, and she feels like she can't be the GF in the relationship. Yet I feel like she won't let me be the BF. She controls a lot of things, which makes me kind of... insecure, and I guess I act too needy.
My question is... how can I be more of an *** without really being mean. I want to kind of seem more independant and in control, without being a jerk. So she feels like I'm in control.
Thanks for any help guys.
oddone12
Tough one, I think it would be best if you could realise that even if this chick dumps you, and Im not saying it is going to happen but even if it did, life would not end. You are your own person, she loves you for who you are and if you loose sight of yourself and solely focus all your attention and energy on her you will actually drain her and make thigns difficult. Be a man, be your own person, don't rely on her to have a good time but include her in the thigns you love to do also so she feels more like a part of your life and less like she has to run your life... Taking care of your own problems is difficult enough on your own, having someone who cant do anything on their own is a nightmare... Im not saying dont go talk to her when you're in trouble or down, Im just saying try to keep a healthy seperation between your life and hers. Afterall you are two different people who want to share time together, not two people sharing one existance! :) Good luck mate!
That's some great insight. I agree so much with what you're saying. I've attatched myself to her too much. I need to back off I guess.
Yeah I had a similar experience so I could relate with you. Try hang out with friends as well, you can even include her if she wants to come with ask your friends for their advice too, love is a complicated thing and no1 is an expert. It sounds like you two have been trough a lot, just hang in there and try to be level heded about things, not too emotional if you can and see what happens. Sometimes all we need is patince and space, coming back from Iraq might be a big adjustment for her and she needs a bit of time for herself too, but as I say Im no expert. PM if u need help and talk to your friends too! :)
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