People getting married and pregnant so young

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#51 Posted by Jobesky123 (1089 posts) -

@Master_Live said:

Don't sweat it kid. Play some GTA and watch some movies. Enjoy college. Your time will come.

PS: Aside question, you aren't planning to write a manifesto ain't you?

Woah, an Elliot Rodger joke, how original. gr8 b8 m8.

#52 Edited by pillarrocks (1408 posts) -

I can somewhat relate, my brother is 26 and has two kids and a new born baby. I don't really feel jealous of him cause he had his kids when he was 19 years old and pretty much struggled raising them with his ex. Feel bad for his kids to be honest. I am glad that I don't have kids even when I was his age. You should have kids when you have the tools to have them like a job, house, basically your life in order. Heck most of my friends had kids when they were young and I kinda feel bad for them. They are stuck raising kids for the next 18 years.

#53 Posted by MirkoS77 (8740 posts) -

I think peer pressure has a lot to do with it. Mostly everybody I've known who got married in their late teens/early (and even into mid twenties) ended up in divorce. What's the statistic now? 50% split? I know for a fact my sister got married to her first because all her friends were. She knew it was a mistake even before she did it and did it anyway because she didn't want to disappoint people.

#54 Posted by SonicNextGen2 (3556 posts) -

I hear you man, I am about to turn 20 and I have an amazing girlfriend and family and was able to get on my back again and get straight As at a highly ranked university after my Arthritis went away. I'm also really appreciative of all your opinions here as they're all great and informative. Just be able to find something in life you enjoy and have a goal that will give you the motivation and strength to move on. You're at the beginning of your life, enjoy it. As for me on the topic of marriage, I'm just hoping that once I finish Medical School in five years that I could settle down and start a family and be able to take care of my children with all the love imaginable.

#55 Posted by indzman (20411 posts) -

@Master_Live said:

Don't sweat it kid. Play some GTA and watch some movies. Enjoy college. Your time will come.

lol

P.S - Glad you changed back your avi , 10/10 XD !!!

#56 Posted by magicalclick (24496 posts) -

No one is entitled to happiness. If you want happiness, do a better job at hunting one. The hunting is used here because it takes lots of skills, patience, tracking, and failures. You are just one of those guys who never failed and feel entitled to greatness and happiness. Now you failed at relationship. Now accept the fact that you suck at it and do a better job.

#57 Edited by Riverwolf007 (24436 posts) -

every time one of my friends knocks someone up i feel great that it is them and not me.

do they not know how to pull out?

jesus.

#58 Edited by GamingTitan (634 posts) -

Your 20s are for partying. If you do it right you should barely live through them. Your 30s however are for babies , marriage and hard work.

#59 Posted by PonchoTaco (2798 posts) -

I think it depends on the situation. I'm in the group that seems young to be married. But I'm in a stage in life where I was dating my girlfriend for 5 years and am financially stable to support the both of us.

We got married 3 weeks ago. :3

#60 Posted by turtlethetaffer (17261 posts) -

@Jobesky123 said:

@turtlethetaffer said:

If it makes you feel any better, TC, my ex dumped me because she was fucking a guy behind my back and wanted to smoke pot more than she wanted to date me. My self esteem is a touch damaged at the moment. Mind you she did't even respect me enough to actually tell me any of this, but I found it later from somebody else.

That's terrible. I absolutely cannot STAND disloyalty. My sympathies.

Anyway all, I feel better and realized that my friend is an idiot and his life will probably be hell. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Appreciate all your comments. :)

Yeeeeah. Worst part is no matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about it and getting depressed. I try like hell but it doesn't work.

#61 Posted by SpartanMSU (3440 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: Teenage pregnancy has been on the decline for decades as well as the age people marry at. People are having less kids and are having them later in life.

Facts are weird.

#62 Posted by II_Seraphim_II (20516 posts) -

@helwa1988 said:

I feel you. I'm 26 years old and literally all of my friends are married with kids. I'm the only single one in my group of friends. It is depressing but I keep telling myself that in the end I will get someone who is amazing and will be worth the wait.

Lol I know what you mean, I just turned 27 and sometimes I wonder if I'm fucking up, cause everyone I know is getting married. All my exes are married with children. I feel like I'm missing something they have like...they figured out life and Im still just lost. Oh well, all things happen in their own good time.

#63 Posted by always_explicit (3135 posts) -

People in modern societies spend so much time thinking about how the appear and how the are percieved. They spend more time comparing themselves to others than they do living their lives from moment to moment.

Life becomes so much easier the second you realise it is you who controls it and your not simply "going through the motions". Spend some time doing exactly what you want to do, be really selfish, indulge in what it is that makes you happy as a person and forget other people for a while.

I went to \Univerity to satisfy the desires of my parents, I spent my first months pretty miserable despite going through the motions of what University was supposed to be about. I done the partying the drink the drugs and the women and felt wholly unsatisfied. I didnt want to be there. So I quit. I dropped out of University, got myself a job and something changed. As soon as I started doing exactly what I wanted to do, my life improved tenfold and its so obvious!!

If your unhappy work out why and CHANGE it, dont wait until its convenient, or easier or seek advice from the whole world and its their dog....just....think, nobody on this earth owes you happiness, you owe it to yourself.

#64 Posted by foxhound_fox (91398 posts) -

@SpartanMSU said:

@foxhound_fox: Teenage pregnancy has been on the decline for decades as well as the age people marry at. People are having less kids and are having them later in life.

Facts are weird.

Except in states where abstinence only sex ed is taught.

http://thinkprogress.org/health/2012/04/10/461402/teen-pregnancy-sex-education/

#65 Posted by DonQuixote (126 posts) -

I don't want to have kids EVER... and getting married also sounds like a bad idea. It's pretending you know that you will be in love with someone forever, and want to live with them forever... which is highly unlikely. I am 25... one of my friends has a kid... he is also 25. He can't do a lot of the things he used to... he has very little time to do what he actually wants to do... and he was borderline suicidal when he accidentally got his wife pregnant. I am also pretty sure he only married her because she got pregnant. Also most people are incredibly fake and dishonest... they just make their life sound good on those soulless social media sites... who knows how they actually feel.

Figure out what you love and stick with it... focus on yourself. Sure it is hard to do that... but TRY... your life will always change... sometimes for the better sometimes for the worse. Go out of your way to do what you feel is right. Become who you want to become. Therapy can help... I am sure if you are going to a good University they have counselors... try them. I have been depressed in the past for REALLY long stretches of time... and I am still here... finally living my life as I see fit. Maybe it can happen for you as well.

#66 Posted by osirisx3 (2041 posts) -

i know how you feel dude, its like everyone is moving on with life, but your stuck.

For the most part i am sure those bitter feelings is just us being jelly.

#67 Posted by SpartanMSU (3440 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: Did you even read the article? Teen pregnancies in those states are still declining. Just not as much as other states.

#68 Edited by Renevent42 (5912 posts) -
@GamingTitan said:

Your 20s are for partying. If you do it right you should barely live through them. Your 30s however are for babies , marriage and hard work.

I've been married/had kids since I was 20. It was hard initially but we are now doing extremely well (2 houses, cars, etc). The best part is we never stopped partying. Life is about moderation, work hard and play even harder :)

#69 Posted by foxhound_fox (91398 posts) -

@SpartanMSU said:

@foxhound_fox: Did you even read the article? Teen pregnancies in those states are still declining. Just not as much as other states.

But they are significantly higher due to the correlation of abstinence only education.

#70 Posted by whipassmt (14981 posts) -

@sonicare said:

For 100's of years, people have gotten married and had children at very young ages. In fact, it's more risky to have a child later in life. The number of birth defects goes up signficantly as a mother's age goes up.

Yeah. Probably the problem today isn't so much people getting married and starting families too young, it's them doing so too old (with the wife sometimes finding out that her fertility is not really great, due to age - and in some cases long years of birth-control use, which can sometimes cause the ovaries to atrophy). Partly it's because people these days think they have to have all their stuff in order (graduate college, get a career) before they can get married, partly I think it's because people find a difficult time finding a marriageable partner (perhaps their standards are too high) and entering into any social relationship (it does seem that young people today have a lot of superficial relationships, but not many deep ones, and I'm talking friends in general, not just issues of dating). I think people today are often without roots, so to speak and have a hard time making a human connection (for instance when people are in public places oftentimes now they'll be on their cellphones texting or using social media and ignoring the people right around them, whereas a couple decades ago people in those places probably made small talk with each other).

I think we both were expecting this thread to be about something different: social trends, rather than individual issues.

#71 Posted by whipassmt (14981 posts) -

@AutoPilotOn said:

Everyone makes their life seem amazing on Facebook. My wife had a miscarriage late last year and it seems everyone else she knows had or are having their babies. Some of which didn't mean to which upsets her a lot because she wanted it so bad. She refused to try till after we married and now it's been a year almost of just one miscarriage.

My condolences.

#72 Edited by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@huggybear1020 said:

If you're going to be jealous of someone, you need to be jealous of everything. You're jealous that he's having a kid? Can you also be jealous about how that gives him a complete lack of free time? Can you also be jealous of how that kid is going to make him financially broke as hell? I have 2 of my own but there's no way I could have handled it well if I was his age when I started.

only if he decides to take care of it. LOL he's already broke. I know this guy with 28 kids and he doesn't seem to be having any issues with popping out more.

@lamprey263 said:

Well, you can ruin your future too by knocking a girl up yourself, saying goodbye to school and hello to working a dead-end shit paying job too. Then when you're working 2 or 3 jobs to make ends meet she'll be all like "you don't spend enough time with me". Then you find out that while you're busting your hump to take care of her and the kid and put a roof over your head she's out fucking around. She wants to split up and she'll survive off your child support so now you got no wife and kid and you're paying for your ex to fuck every guy all willy nilly looking for someone better to take care of her while she's still collecting that child support and alimony. Then the kids turn 18 when the truth comes out it wasn't even your kids to begin with.

Or maybe invest in a vasectomy before starting school, save yourself the trouble. Focus on your career first.

So true! It's amazing how many men still get trapped in this on going cycle cause they fall in love with some dumb whore!

#73 Posted by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@XilePrincess said:

I kind of feel ya here, man. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years this October, and it drives me totally nuts when I see people I know getting engaged after being together a year or less.

One girl I know got pregnant by one guy, and less than a year after the kid was born was engaged to a whole new dude and they have a house and everything. It kind of feels like "You're an idiot, why are you getting the things I want and not me", but then you have to sit back and realize, they're IDIOTS. People with no money and no stability having kids and getting married? Recipe for disaster. Might look peachy but it probably isn't.

You want to get going down a crap path? Get married too quickly (and perhaps eventually divorced) and start popping out kids you can't afford (or paying child support you can't afford). Love doesn't pay the bills. He isn't gonna be so happy when he's scrimping by every paycheck because diapers come before beer and a good time.

Some people fall head over hills in love with a person and don't think they will find anyone better and just go all in! I can see where you are coming from though although I wanted to marry this girl after knowing her for only about a year.

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@jobesky1 said:

Why is everyone getting married and pregnant so young, and why does it bother me so much?

For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid and I feel like shit. I don't know why.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's because I'm severely depressed. I'm being treated for it, and I'm not a virgin, I'm 22, gonna be going to one of the best universities in the US and I'm decent looking. But I just feel like... don't I deserve happiness too?

I feel like a bad person - like I want to feel happy for him, but I can't. He'll be having a kid and a happy gf and a whole new family, meanwhile things for me are the same and I don't know if they'll get better.

The worst part is that this has happened before. I cut contact with people who are happier than me (mainly Facebook shit) because they make me feel worse. Everyone is getting married and having kids and wonderful lives and I'm not. I don't hate them for it, I hate the fact that I'm not happy and everyone else seems to be. Everyone seems to be moving forward and being happy... and people like me and some others aren't. Don't we deserve happiness too?

TL;DR friend is gonna be a dad, feel like shit because people seem happier and I'm not.

And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a shitty person, but I want to be happy for them, but I can't, at least until I'm happy with myself. Thoughts?

22?

lighten up, you got all the time in the world

Most importantly you got your health

I don't like when people say this. "You're still young, you got time." He's been going through this for the past 11 years. He doesn't see it changing in the future that is why he is asking for help now.

TC you just have to find that right girl that makes you happy. You will know her when you see her. Don't be like me though and let her escape you. If she is really what you want then go all in to get her and keep her. Just live in the moment, don't worry about the future cause it isn't written.

past eleven years,wtf, 6 years ago was like yesterday to me,to him, he was still in puberty. Your brains are not even fully developped at 22, nor your strength or stamina. Not to mention life experience is next to nothing

people of that age should listen, at that age i tought i was old too, how i was wrong, now i'm 36 and I'm worrying less about my age than back then.

You're not a kid anymore, nor a teen. But adulthood gotta start someday, and it's better than being a kid/teen. Now girls won't want you anymore for your beautifull eyes, or stuff you have no control over, act mature, and it will be raining women and girls.

ocd is a drag though (didn't see that first actually) I actually have it myself, but everybody has something. As painfull that it is somedays, it sure beat cancers, because I have a lot of good days as well. Most important advice I can give...

Avoid nasty people and protect yourself at all times, listen to that little voice inside, the one that is looking out for you, it is always right. Stay strong.

ugh that's my problem! I'm pretty childish from what some people tell me(I don't think so, I'm just being myself) so I am all lost right now.

#74 Posted by Yellowsanchez (114 posts) -

it is just that people are afraid of the real world that they do stupid things without thinking

#75 Edited by commander (9074 posts) -

@-Blasphemy- said:

@XilePrincess said:

I kind of feel ya here, man. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years this October, and it drives me totally nuts when I see people I know getting engaged after being together a year or less.

One girl I know got pregnant by one guy, and less than a year after the kid was born was engaged to a whole new dude and they have a house and everything. It kind of feels like "You're an idiot, why are you getting the things I want and not me", but then you have to sit back and realize, they're IDIOTS. People with no money and no stability having kids and getting married? Recipe for disaster. Might look peachy but it probably isn't.

You want to get going down a crap path? Get married too quickly (and perhaps eventually divorced) and start popping out kids you can't afford (or paying child support you can't afford). Love doesn't pay the bills. He isn't gonna be so happy when he's scrimping by every paycheck because diapers come before beer and a good time.

Some people fall head over hills in love with a person and don't think they will find anyone better and just go all in! I can see where you are coming from though although I wanted to marry this girl after knowing her for only about a year.

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@jobesky1 said:

Why is everyone getting married and pregnant so young, and why does it bother me so much?

For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid and I feel like shit. I don't know why.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's because I'm severely depressed. I'm being treated for it, and I'm not a virgin, I'm 22, gonna be going to one of the best universities in the US and I'm decent looking. But I just feel like... don't I deserve happiness too?

I feel like a bad person - like I want to feel happy for him, but I can't. He'll be having a kid and a happy gf and a whole new family, meanwhile things for me are the same and I don't know if they'll get better.

The worst part is that this has happened before. I cut contact with people who are happier than me (mainly Facebook shit) because they make me feel worse. Everyone is getting married and having kids and wonderful lives and I'm not. I don't hate them for it, I hate the fact that I'm not happy and everyone else seems to be. Everyone seems to be moving forward and being happy... and people like me and some others aren't. Don't we deserve happiness too?

TL;DR friend is gonna be a dad, feel like shit because people seem happier and I'm not.

And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a shitty person, but I want to be happy for them, but I can't, at least until I'm happy with myself. Thoughts?

22?

lighten up, you got all the time in the world

Most importantly you got your health

I don't like when people say this. "You're still young, you got time." He's been going through this for the past 11 years. He doesn't see it changing in the future that is why he is asking for help now.

TC you just have to find that right girl that makes you happy. You will know her when you see her. Don't be like me though and let her escape you. If she is really what you want then go all in to get her and keep her. Just live in the moment, don't worry about the future cause it isn't written.

past eleven years,wtf, 6 years ago was like yesterday to me,to him, he was still in puberty. Your brains are not even fully developped at 22, nor your strength or stamina. Not to mention life experience is next to nothing

people of that age should listen, at that age i tought i was old too, how i was wrong, now i'm 36 and I'm worrying less about my age than back then.

You're not a kid anymore, nor a teen. But adulthood gotta start someday, and it's better than being a kid/teen. Now girls won't want you anymore for your beautifull eyes, or stuff you have no control over, act mature, and it will be raining women and girls.

ocd is a drag though (didn't see that first actually) I actually have it myself, but everybody has something. As painfull that it is somedays, it sure beat cancers, because I have a lot of good days as well. Most important advice I can give...

Avoid nasty people and protect yourself at all times, listen to that little voice inside, the one that is looking out for you, it is always right. Stay strong.

ugh that's my problem! I'm pretty childish from what some people tell me(I don't think so, I'm just being myself) so I am all lost right now.

acting mature is not so hard, just take responsibility and be self confident. Make sure you have your shit together, do a job that's not too hard.

above all, don't be creepy (or weird for that matter, teenage years are over, so you dont have to be a goth or whatever, a nice haircut, normal clothes with a trendy touch, and that's it)

#76 Posted by Shmiity (5392 posts) -

Honestly, just enjoy your life. Having a child won't fix your problems, and that's a trap married people fall into, as well. Having a child without proper financial support is also a nightmare. If I heard a 22 year old friend of mine was pregnant, my first reaction would be"oh my god, what are you going to do???" Not, "Congratulations"

#77 Posted by Wilfred_Owen (20916 posts) -

I'm turning 29 this year. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing.

#78 Posted by SpartanMSU (3440 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: Okay? What does that have to do with my statement that teen pregnancies are declining and people are getting married and having kids later in life?

#79 Edited by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@XilePrincess said:

I kind of feel ya here, man. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years this October, and it drives me totally nuts when I see people I know getting engaged after being together a year or less.

One girl I know got pregnant by one guy, and less than a year after the kid was born was engaged to a whole new dude and they have a house and everything. It kind of feels like "You're an idiot, why are you getting the things I want and not me", but then you have to sit back and realize, they're IDIOTS. People with no money and no stability having kids and getting married? Recipe for disaster. Might look peachy but it probably isn't.

You want to get going down a crap path? Get married too quickly (and perhaps eventually divorced) and start popping out kids you can't afford (or paying child support you can't afford). Love doesn't pay the bills. He isn't gonna be so happy when he's scrimping by every paycheck because diapers come before beer and a good time.

Some people fall head over hills in love with a person and don't think they will find anyone better and just go all in! I can see where you are coming from though although I wanted to marry this girl after knowing her for only about a year.

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@jobesky1 said:

Why is everyone getting married and pregnant so young, and why does it bother me so much?

For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid and I feel like shit. I don't know why.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's because I'm severely depressed. I'm being treated for it, and I'm not a virgin, I'm 22, gonna be going to one of the best universities in the US and I'm decent looking. But I just feel like... don't I deserve happiness too?

I feel like a bad person - like I want to feel happy for him, but I can't. He'll be having a kid and a happy gf and a whole new family, meanwhile things for me are the same and I don't know if they'll get better.

The worst part is that this has happened before. I cut contact with people who are happier than me (mainly Facebook shit) because they make me feel worse. Everyone is getting married and having kids and wonderful lives and I'm not. I don't hate them for it, I hate the fact that I'm not happy and everyone else seems to be. Everyone seems to be moving forward and being happy... and people like me and some others aren't. Don't we deserve happiness too?

TL;DR friend is gonna be a dad, feel like shit because people seem happier and I'm not.

And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a shitty person, but I want to be happy for them, but I can't, at least until I'm happy with myself. Thoughts?

22?

lighten up, you got all the time in the world

Most importantly you got your health

I don't like when people say this. "You're still young, you got time." He's been going through this for the past 11 years. He doesn't see it changing in the future that is why he is asking for help now.

TC you just have to find that right girl that makes you happy. You will know her when you see her. Don't be like me though and let her escape you. If she is really what you want then go all in to get her and keep her. Just live in the moment, don't worry about the future cause it isn't written.

past eleven years,wtf, 6 years ago was like yesterday to me,to him, he was still in puberty. Your brains are not even fully developped at 22, nor your strength or stamina. Not to mention life experience is next to nothing

people of that age should listen, at that age i tought i was old too, how i was wrong, now i'm 36 and I'm worrying less about my age than back then.

You're not a kid anymore, nor a teen. But adulthood gotta start someday, and it's better than being a kid/teen. Now girls won't want you anymore for your beautifull eyes, or stuff you have no control over, act mature, and it will be raining women and girls.

ocd is a drag though (didn't see that first actually) I actually have it myself, but everybody has something. As painfull that it is somedays, it sure beat cancers, because I have a lot of good days as well. Most important advice I can give...

Avoid nasty people and protect yourself at all times, listen to that little voice inside, the one that is looking out for you, it is always right. Stay strong.

ugh that's my problem! I'm pretty childish from what some people tell me(I don't think so, I'm just being myself) so I am all lost right now.

acting mature is not so hard, just take responsibility and be self confident. Make sure you have your shit together, do a job that's not too hard.

above all, don't be creepy (or weird for that matter, teenage years are over, so you dont have to be a goth or whatever, a nice haircut, normal clothes with a trendy touch, and that's it)

I'm not myself when I am not and I don't like it.

#80 Posted by sibu_xgamer (340 posts) -

OMG dude you're just 22, take it easy, you literally have some of the best years of your life ahead of you. Don't start worrying about every detail of the rest of your life now, live a little in the present, have a plan and a goal but make the path you take flexible enough to avoid too much frustration and, more importantly, enjoy the view.

Also stop comparing your life to other people's lives, specially if you're using something as limited as facebook for comparison.

#81 Posted by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@Wilfred_Owen said:

I'm turning 29 this year. And what do I have to show for it? Nothing.

If you don't like it you got to get out there and start making some changes! Just do whatever makes you happy or try to do the things you always wanted to do.

#82 Posted by pyro1245 (1083 posts) -

"For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid..."

That sounds terrible. Be glad you're not him. Enjoy your college years, then get a good job, enjoy a few more years. Somewhere down the line you'll meet someone and start a family and you'll be way better off while your friend is still struggling to pay bills. If you're depressed just focus on something you can control: your studies and securing a good job. Just don't fuck it up and get a girl pregnant during college and end up having your grades tank. Save the family stuff for when you have a secure income, for the children!

#83 Posted by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@pyro1245 said:

"For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid..."

That sounds terrible. Be glad you're not him. Enjoy your college years, then get a good job, enjoy a few more years. Somewhere down the line you'll meet someone and start a family and you'll be way better off while your friend is still struggling to pay bills. If you're depressed just focus on something you can control: your studies and securing a good job. Just don't fuck it up and get a girl pregnant during college and end up having your grades tank. Save the family stuff for when you have a secure income, for the children!

Why do other people think they know what's best for someone else's life? Just let them be. Let them make their own choices and live the lives they want. No one knows what the future holds for them so don't pretend like you do.

#84 Posted by pyro1245 (1083 posts) -

@-Blasphemy- said:

@pyro1245 said:

"For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid..."

That sounds terrible. Be glad you're not him. Enjoy your college years, then get a good job, enjoy a few more years. Somewhere down the line you'll meet someone and start a family and you'll be way better off while your friend is still struggling to pay bills. If you're depressed just focus on something you can control: your studies and securing a good job. Just don't fuck it up and get a girl pregnant during college and end up having your grades tank. Save the family stuff for when you have a secure income, for the children!

Why do other people think they know what's best for someone else's life? Just let them be. Let them make their own choices and live the lives they want. No one knows what the future holds for them so don't pretend like you do.

and you should get a hair-cut!

#85 Posted by commander (9074 posts) -

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@XilePrincess said:

I kind of feel ya here, man. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years this October, and it drives me totally nuts when I see people I know getting engaged after being together a year or less.

One girl I know got pregnant by one guy, and less than a year after the kid was born was engaged to a whole new dude and they have a house and everything. It kind of feels like "You're an idiot, why are you getting the things I want and not me", but then you have to sit back and realize, they're IDIOTS. People with no money and no stability having kids and getting married? Recipe for disaster. Might look peachy but it probably isn't.

You want to get going down a crap path? Get married too quickly (and perhaps eventually divorced) and start popping out kids you can't afford (or paying child support you can't afford). Love doesn't pay the bills. He isn't gonna be so happy when he's scrimping by every paycheck because diapers come before beer and a good time.

Some people fall head over hills in love with a person and don't think they will find anyone better and just go all in! I can see where you are coming from though although I wanted to marry this girl after knowing her for only about a year.

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@jobesky1 said:

Why is everyone getting married and pregnant so young, and why does it bother me so much?

For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid and I feel like shit. I don't know why.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's because I'm severely depressed. I'm being treated for it, and I'm not a virgin, I'm 22, gonna be going to one of the best universities in the US and I'm decent looking. But I just feel like... don't I deserve happiness too?

I feel like a bad person - like I want to feel happy for him, but I can't. He'll be having a kid and a happy gf and a whole new family, meanwhile things for me are the same and I don't know if they'll get better.

The worst part is that this has happened before. I cut contact with people who are happier than me (mainly Facebook shit) because they make me feel worse. Everyone is getting married and having kids and wonderful lives and I'm not. I don't hate them for it, I hate the fact that I'm not happy and everyone else seems to be. Everyone seems to be moving forward and being happy... and people like me and some others aren't. Don't we deserve happiness too?

TL;DR friend is gonna be a dad, feel like shit because people seem happier and I'm not.

And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a shitty person, but I want to be happy for them, but I can't, at least until I'm happy with myself. Thoughts?

22?

lighten up, you got all the time in the world

Most importantly you got your health

I don't like when people say this. "You're still young, you got time." He's been going through this for the past 11 years. He doesn't see it changing in the future that is why he is asking for help now.

TC you just have to find that right girl that makes you happy. You will know her when you see her. Don't be like me though and let her escape you. If she is really what you want then go all in to get her and keep her. Just live in the moment, don't worry about the future cause it isn't written.

past eleven years,wtf, 6 years ago was like yesterday to me,to him, he was still in puberty. Your brains are not even fully developped at 22, nor your strength or stamina. Not to mention life experience is next to nothing

people of that age should listen, at that age i tought i was old too, how i was wrong, now i'm 36 and I'm worrying less about my age than back then.

You're not a kid anymore, nor a teen. But adulthood gotta start someday, and it's better than being a kid/teen. Now girls won't want you anymore for your beautifull eyes, or stuff you have no control over, act mature, and it will be raining women and girls.

ocd is a drag though (didn't see that first actually) I actually have it myself, but everybody has something. As painfull that it is somedays, it sure beat cancers, because I have a lot of good days as well. Most important advice I can give...

Avoid nasty people and protect yourself at all times, listen to that little voice inside, the one that is looking out for you, it is always right. Stay strong.

ugh that's my problem! I'm pretty childish from what some people tell me(I don't think so, I'm just being myself) so I am all lost right now.

acting mature is not so hard, just take responsibility and be self confident. Make sure you have your shit together, do a job that's not too hard.

above all, don't be creepy (or weird for that matter, teenage years are over, so you dont have to be a goth or whatever, a nice haircut, normal clothes with a trendy touch, and that's it)

I'm not myself when I am not and I don't like it.

yourself will need to do some adaption, make a hybrid

#86 Posted by -Blasphemy- (3309 posts) -

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@XilePrincess said:

I kind of feel ya here, man. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years this October, and it drives me totally nuts when I see people I know getting engaged after being together a year or less.

One girl I know got pregnant by one guy, and less than a year after the kid was born was engaged to a whole new dude and they have a house and everything. It kind of feels like "You're an idiot, why are you getting the things I want and not me", but then you have to sit back and realize, they're IDIOTS. People with no money and no stability having kids and getting married? Recipe for disaster. Might look peachy but it probably isn't.

You want to get going down a crap path? Get married too quickly (and perhaps eventually divorced) and start popping out kids you can't afford (or paying child support you can't afford). Love doesn't pay the bills. He isn't gonna be so happy when he's scrimping by every paycheck because diapers come before beer and a good time.

Some people fall head over hills in love with a person and don't think they will find anyone better and just go all in! I can see where you are coming from though although I wanted to marry this girl after knowing her for only about a year.

@evildead6789 said:

@-Blasphemy- said:

@evildead6789 said:

@jobesky1 said:

Why is everyone getting married and pregnant so young, and why does it bother me so much?

For example, my friend who's been dating his gf for 5 years, hasn't married her, has a shit part time job and is 24, is having a kid and I feel like shit. I don't know why.

If I had to guess, I'd say it's because I'm severely depressed. I'm being treated for it, and I'm not a virgin, I'm 22, gonna be going to one of the best universities in the US and I'm decent looking. But I just feel like... don't I deserve happiness too?

I feel like a bad person - like I want to feel happy for him, but I can't. He'll be having a kid and a happy gf and a whole new family, meanwhile things for me are the same and I don't know if they'll get better.

The worst part is that this has happened before. I cut contact with people who are happier than me (mainly Facebook shit) because they make me feel worse. Everyone is getting married and having kids and wonderful lives and I'm not. I don't hate them for it, I hate the fact that I'm not happy and everyone else seems to be. Everyone seems to be moving forward and being happy... and people like me and some others aren't. Don't we deserve happiness too?

TL;DR friend is gonna be a dad, feel like shit because people seem happier and I'm not.

And yes, I realize this makes me sound like a shitty person, but I want to be happy for them, but I can't, at least until I'm happy with myself. Thoughts?

22?

lighten up, you got all the time in the world

Most importantly you got your health

I don't like when people say this. "You're still young, you got time." He's been going through this for the past 11 years. He doesn't see it changing in the future that is why he is asking for help now.

TC you just have to find that right girl that makes you happy. You will know her when you see her. Don't be like me though and let her escape you. If she is really what you want then go all in to get her and keep her. Just live in the moment, don't worry about the future cause it isn't written.

past eleven years,wtf, 6 years ago was like yesterday to me,to him, he was still in puberty. Your brains are not even fully developped at 22, nor your strength or stamina. Not to mention life experience is next to nothing

people of that age should listen, at that age i tought i was old too, how i was wrong, now i'm 36 and I'm worrying less about my age than back then.

You're not a kid anymore, nor a teen. But adulthood gotta start someday, and it's better than being a kid/teen. Now girls won't want you anymore for your beautifull eyes, or stuff you have no control over, act mature, and it will be raining women and girls.

ocd is a drag though (didn't see that first actually) I actually have it myself, but everybody has something. As painfull that it is somedays, it sure beat cancers, because I have a lot of good days as well. Most important advice I can give...

Avoid nasty people and protect yourself at all times, listen to that little voice inside, the one that is looking out for you, it is always right. Stay strong.

ugh that's my problem! I'm pretty childish from what some people tell me(I don't think so, I'm just being myself) so I am all lost right now.

acting mature is not so hard, just take responsibility and be self confident. Make sure you have your shit together, do a job that's not too hard.

above all, don't be creepy (or weird for that matter, teenage years are over, so you dont have to be a goth or whatever, a nice haircut, normal clothes with a trendy touch, and that's it)

I'm not myself when I am not and I don't like it.

yourself will need to do some adaption, make a hybrid

But if it is not who I am really am I won't feel good about myself and I like feeling good. Also I don't want to do something that would freak her out cause she never saw me do it before!

#87 Posted by whipassmt (14981 posts) -

@jobesky1:

I would recommend that you discuss this with a psychologist/psychiatrist, a clergyman and one of your close friends or family members. They would probably be able to help you more than we on gamespot can.

#88 Posted by Jobesky123 (1089 posts) -

Sorry for rezzing this thread, especially now that idgaf about it anymore, but I just found out why he's having a kid.

I may or may not have mentioned it but his mom has stage 4 lung cancer, given 6 or so months to live, and he got his girl pregnant for his mom, I guess so she could see a grandkid, even though she may not live long enough to see it born.

I wish I was lying, but now I just feel glad I'm not him tbh. Bringing a child in for someone else? The fuck? Am I the only one that thinks he's not that bright or am I an asshole?

#90 Posted by fgjnfgh (2637 posts) -

@pillarrocks: exactly. Should get married when you are %100 sure saying goodbye to your old life and sure enough to make a full commitment as a father and a husband

#91 Posted by fgjnfgh (2637 posts) -

@pillarrocks: exactly. Should get married when you are %100 sure saying goodbye to your old life and sure enough to make a full commitment as a father and a husband

@Jobesky123 said:

Sorry for rezzing this thread, especially now that idgaf about it anymore, but I just found out why he's having a kid.

I may or may not have mentioned it but his mom has stage 4 lung cancer, given 6 or so months to live, and he got his girl pregnant for his mom, I guess so she could see a grandkid, even though she may not live long enough to see it born.

I wish I was lying, but now I just feel glad I'm not him tbh. Bringing a child in for someone else? The fuck? Am I the only one that thinks he's not that bright or am I an asshole?

he did it for his mom. This is to show how much he loves his mom. I don't believe in doctors like when they say someone's is dying and won't live til the next months. But I know cancer is cured with no just medication, but also happiness is big part. May god bring this child so his/her grandmother can see him/her and be happy and get better and healthier.

#92 Posted by beutlich99 (1122 posts) -

Americans are getting married later and later. http://www.theatlantic.com/sexes/archive/2013/03/getting-married-later-is-great-for-college-educated-women/274040/

Read the first paragraph. Don't post things that sound like fact when it is just your anecdotal experience.

#93 Posted by worlock77 (22547 posts) -

@fgjnfgh said:

@pillarrocks: exactly. Should get married when you are %100 sure saying goodbye to your old life and sure enough to make a full commitment as a father and a husband

@Jobesky123 said:

Sorry for rezzing this thread, especially now that idgaf about it anymore, but I just found out why he's having a kid.

I may or may not have mentioned it but his mom has stage 4 lung cancer, given 6 or so months to live, and he got his girl pregnant for his mom, I guess so she could see a grandkid, even though she may not live long enough to see it born.

I wish I was lying, but now I just feel glad I'm not him tbh. Bringing a child in for someone else? The fuck? Am I the only one that thinks he's not that bright or am I an asshole?

he did it for his mom. This is to show how much he loves his mom. I don't believe in doctors like when they say someone's is dying and won't live til the next months. But I know cancer is cured with no just medication, but also happiness is big part. May god bring this child so his/her grandmother can see him/her and be happy and get better and healthier.

Babies = the cure for terminal cancer.

#94 Edited by AutoPilotOn (8626 posts) -

@fgjnfgh: I know a guy who was given 6 months to live with cancer. He lived about 6 years before it finally took him. They never know for sure how long it will take for each person.

#95 Posted by fgjnfgh (2637 posts) -

@worlock77 said:

@fgjnfgh said:

@pillarrocks: exactly. Should get married when you are %100 sure saying goodbye to your old life and sure enough to make a full commitment as a father and a husband

@Jobesky123 said:

Sorry for rezzing this thread, especially now that idgaf about it anymore, but I just found out why he's having a kid.

I may or may not have mentioned it but his mom has stage 4 lung cancer, given 6 or so months to live, and he got his girl pregnant for his mom, I guess so she could see a grandkid, even though she may not live long enough to see it born.

I wish I was lying, but now I just feel glad I'm not him tbh. Bringing a child in for someone else? The fuck? Am I the only one that thinks he's not that bright or am I an asshole?

he did it for his mom. This is to show how much he loves his mom. I don't believe in doctors like when they say someone's is dying and won't live til the next months. But I know cancer is cured with no just medication, but also happiness is big part. May god bring this child so his/her grandmother can see him/her and be happy and get better and healthier.

Babies = the cure for terminal cancer.

your reading comprehension skills are nothing. Don't ever read again

#96 Posted by Dogswithguns (10987 posts) -

22 or 25 aren't young to have kids...

#97 Posted by soulless4now (41382 posts) -

It's actually the opposite nowadays, at least in the U.S. The average marrying age is late 20s for both genders.