Need help guys. soooo I like this woman, aaaand...

I can't tell if she likes me or not. I mean we've been talking for about a month or so. Not "talking"...just talking....maybe kinda "talking". Anyway so I asked her out before the holiday and she said that things were kinda busy for her that week, which I understand. Holidays usually are for people. And left it at that...no maybe next month or I'll let you know when I'm free or anything and since then I've talked to her less and less. I mean I don't wanna be too forward but I don't wanna miss the opportunity either. I soooooo don't know what to do guys. :(

Suggestions??

To me it sounds like she just.....rejected you.

Forget about her, get back to reality, and go find somebody else.

Yea. That's kinda what I'm afraid of :(

**** that. If she rejected him by saying that she's busy, then she only did so because it'd be awkward for HER to flat out be honest with him. She's thinking of her own feelings, not his. Because by not flat out rejecting him, she's giving him false hope. Which leads to him asking again and getting shot down again. If she's not interested, then she can grow some balls and flat out tell the dude that she's not interested. Awkward? Yeah. But that's a bit less shitty than stringing the dude along by telling him that the only reason she doesn't want to spend time with him is because she's busy.

but seriously...maybe she really was just too busy. Can we accept that that's actually quite possible? I mean, we're past the days when women just sat around waiting for a man to come along. Women have jobs and they go to college and they have things that occupy their time same as with men. Maybe she really WAS just too busy. No way for the TC to know unless he asks her out again.

Which is also all the more reason for her to stop bullshitting if she just plain didn't want to spend time with the dude. Rejecting him now might make her feel awkward, but at least that gets things out of the way so that he stops asking and she stops having to make up excuses.

@MrGeezer: On paper, yes, the chance of her being really busy is not absolutely zero. But that chance is too low, I mean, even if she really were too busy, in case she liked him, she could spend half an hour for a coffee with him any day of the week. Also note that she didn't give a hint on when she'd be free ,and she's talked to him less and less ever since.To me ,that's a rejection.

Okay. And like I said, even if that's the case, she only rejected him like that because she wanted to avoid feeling like an asshole by giving a REAL rejection.

In other words, the TC gets all of the pain of a rejection, while the one he desires gets off easy. Screw that. Even if it is a real rejection, then he should still ask again. He's gonna feel awkward either way, even MORE awkward since she wasn't honest. Her beating around the bush is putting him through more pain, all so that she gets to go to bed at night while telling herself that she's the nice guy in the scenario. I don't like playing with peoples' feelings like that. So yeah...ask her again. No way the TC can lose. Either she really was just too busy (in which case maybe she'll say yes this time) or she was just dicking the dude around in order to spare herself from feeling awkward (in which case, he is gonna feel like shit regardless...so if it's gonna be awkward for him, then it can be awkward for all involved).

@MrGeezer: Alright, we have a deal.

TC ask her out again after a while.But remember, it's on the cards for you to either hear an answear like the first time, or receive a hard rejection.You'll be screwed either way.

(A word of advice, from personal experience : Find somebody else.)

Having said that...you're probably right and she was trying to reject him. So, if he is going to ask her out again, he should be prepared for that outcome.

However, once he is prepared for that revelation, there's no reason to NOT ask again. Hell, if anything, not asking again might hurt her. I mean, imagine the hypothetical scenario in which she really did like the TC, and she really was just that busy. So she says she's busy (it's easy to forget to reschedule the date for another day when you're busy as shit and your mind is elsewhere), but she's saw that he's interested and she would like to get together with him soon. Too bad. Since he erroneously took her "busy" comment to mean "not interested", now he starts giving her the cold shoulder. While from HER point of view, it's a pretty fucked up situation. The dude expresses interest in her and then almost immediately starts shrugging her off. How's that gonna make her feel if she actually is interested in him but really was too busy?

Anyway, I just don't like these kind of mind games.

@MrGeezer: Neither do I. Let's just wish him luck.

Thanks a bunch guys I really appreciate the input. I'll ask again. Either it'll be a success or I'll be put b out of my misery. Either way at least I'll know. Would definatly suck if it was a solid no though..

I hate these situations.

@slvrraven9: I'd ask her to just be straightforward with you if I were you, but... most likely get ready to move on :(

wish you luck!

You know its real easy. You just straight ask her. Tell her, i'm find you attractive, and would like to get together with you. If she likes you, she will kiss you, or look like she wants to, then just go for it. If it don't work out, move on to the next. That easy. One lesson i've learned in my life, don't waste your time around woman that aren't interested. Move on, plenty more fish in the sea. Period !

ps. Forget conversating, you don't want to waste your time talking. I'm sure the only thing you really want is in her pants. So don't waste your time.

Well, that's not necessarily true. She could just give you another excuse. I mean, maybe she'll flatout reject you, or maybe she'll accept you, but it's also entirely possible for her to say, "oh, um...damn...I'm busy this week too."

Regardless, that's still valuable information. A one time "I'm busy" might just mean she was busy. But repeatedly saying "I'm busy" should do one of two things: either that increases the likelihood that she's just trying to avoid you, or it indicates that she's just busy as shit ALL THE TIME. Either one is probably gonna mean "forget about her, find someone else." I mean, if she's just lying to avoid spending time with you, then that obviously means that you should forget about her. And even if she's telling you the truth, repeatedly saying that she's too busy to meet with you means that you should probably ask if she's worth getting attached to. If she's ALWAYS so damn busy that she doesn't have time to hang out with you during the week, then that sort of implies that being her girlfriend might very well entail being attached to her while hardly ever getting to actually spend time with her. That might be what some people want in a partner, but not me. If I were personally in your place, I'd be like, "okay, I accept she's too busy. But if she's this busy all the time, then that's sort of a dealbreaker."

That's a good point Mr geezer. I haven't gotten around to asking her yet but I will contact her tomorrow. It being the weekend and all I *should* have an easier time getting a hold of her. Honestly at this point I'm just preparing myself for the worst though. And if that's the case then that'll be such a shame too because she's soo cool.....oh well just probably not the one for me.