My friend thinks I owe him money, do I?

#1 Posted by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

So we went to 2 baseball games in 2 nights. The first night my dad gave up his ticket and let my friend go with me. The ticket is worth 40 bucks and he got a bobble head which is worth 50 bucks. The next night my friend got tickets. He got 3 tickets and gave 2 of them to me. Each ticket was worth 12 bucks. The reason why he gave me 2 tickets is because he was going to be late to the game and they were giving out scarfs. So he wanted me to get 2 scarfs, 1 for me, 1 for him, so I went early to get them. I printed out the tickets and went on over to the game. His dad and brother couldn't make the game, so that's why he had an extra ticket. But that extra ticket was not to be used, it was just to save him a scarf.

So anyways, after the game we started walking to our cars. We each said goodbye and then a moment later he comes running to me and says ''Wait! Aren't you going to buy the ticket from me? I asked him, ''What do you mean? I have to pay?'' And he said, ''I spent 36 bucks, I gave you two tickets, that's 24 bucks I spent on you, aren't you going to at least offer to buy one of the tickets? I had to spend an extra 12 bucks.'' I was a little bit confused. I replied, ''Well what about yesterday? You got great seats worth 40 bucks, you got a free bobble head.'' And he replied, ''But that was from your dad. I still want money from you.'' I stood there confused and told him I'd give him my scarf once I washed it and he said okay. Then he texted me this morning and said he was offended that I didn't make him an offer as far as money. Do I owe this guy? Now before you answer, keep in mind that he has owed me hundreds and hundreds of dollars before and we've got into confrontations over money and he has always made an excuse to not pay me back. He says he's tight, he says my family has money and I should be easier on him. But now I almost feel really guilty. And since this incident, he has not contacted me. Did I do anything wrong? I asked my dad if I owed the guy and he got really really pissed and said that my friend should give him 35 bucks for those tickets which he gave up. What do you guys think? Do I owe the guy? And is it my fault that he bought an extra ticket?

I would have paid if I knew ahead of time that I was just going to the game with him. I thought he was just returning the favor? Or maybe I wouldn't have went if I knew he was going to charge. I'm confused. So should I tell hiim to pay my father back and then pay him for my ticket? Because obviously he's not going to pay my father. To me, that would be more fair. But it almost seemed like he was trying to pull a fast one. I mean he never mentioned anything, and then sprinted over to me like a street bum. It was really awkward.

#2 Posted by MrGeezer (56016 posts) -

1) Unless there was some indication that he was selling you the tickets (which doesn't seem to be the case), then you don't owe him shit. That was a gift.

2) Now, generally speaking it's common courtesy for you to at least offer to pay for the tickets. It's still a "gift", but you're still supposed to offer to pay. However, I don't think that applies in this case. Since you treated him to a game the day before, by all appearances he was just returning the favor. "You treat me to a game, I'll treat you to a game."

3) if he has stopped contacting you, good riddance. By your description he sounds like someone who you're better off without.

#3 Posted by Master_Live (13931 posts) -

What a mamaluk. I don't think you owe him anything and your so called friend feels a little weaselly. Is this guy really your friend? If you aren't getting anything (I mean friendship wise, you know, good person to talk to and all of that shit) then you should cut the cord. Let him pull a fast one on another "friend".

#4 Posted by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

Well, you remember Eddy from Leave it to Beaver? Kind of like that, he'll go on a roll and act really good for a couple of months, but there always seems to be a setback. The reason he feels I owe him is because my father was the one that paid for his ticket and not me. But then wouldn't it make sense for him to pay my father back if he wants me to pay him? That's where I'm confused.

#5 Posted by lamprey263 (22611 posts) -

if you owe him for anything it's just $12 for one of those tickets, you didn't take anybody else to the game and that extra ticket was to save him a scarf, at most you owe him $12 and nothing more, but I don't even think you owe him that considering you gave him a $40 ticket

anyhow, he's out $24 because his dad or brother couldn't go or whatever, have him get the money from them... anyhow, I wouldn't front this guy anymore money or whatever if you do hang out again

#6 Posted by Iszdope (9535 posts) -

Offer him tree fiddy.

#7 Posted by SolidSnake35 (58025 posts) -

Unless you asked him to buy those tickets for you, you don't owe him anything but a smack in the mouth.

#8 Posted by El_Zo1212o (6005 posts) -

How highly do you value this friend of yours? Is his friendship worth 25 bucks? Either it is or it ain't. It' up to you.

#9 Posted by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

How highly do you value this friend of yours? Is his friendship worth 25 bucks? Either it is or it ain't. It' up to you.

so you're saying if he's worth 25, give him 25?

#10 Edited by El_Zo1212o (6005 posts) -
#11 Posted by GazaAli (22492 posts) -

I'd tell your friend to fuck off and man up instead of demanding money from you and being offended. What a kiddish and cheap ass.

#12 Posted by MrGeezer (56016 posts) -

@mdk12345: Exactly.

I agree in prinicple, but you've gotta take into account that this isn't the first time this kind of thing has happened. By MDK's post, there has been a history of the dude pulling similar shit. And that's gotta be worthy of consideration. Never mind the $25, that's chump change. But what I'm getting here isn't that the $25 is a problem, but that the real problem is that there's an ongoing history of this kind of stuff happening. That makes it not just about the $25 now, but about whatever happens when the dude inevitably pulls the same shit a few months later.

Again, I agree in principle. This is about whether or not what he offers as a friend outweighs what he takes away by being a leech. I'm just saying that it's not really about THIS incident, MDK should be thinking long-term. $25? Who gives a damn? That's not the issue. The issue is that the problem happened before and it's still happening. There's no indication that tht kind of behaviour is gonna stop, that's LONG TERM stuff. His friend will probably still be acting the same way in five years. Or ten. The question that MDK needs to ask is if the benefits of that friendship are likely to have a long-term benefit that outweighs dealing with a long-term leech. It's not about where things are now, it's about where things are GOING. History says that the friend is probably gonna continue to be a leech. He needs to look at where the friendship is going and ask if the long-term positives are likely to outweigh the long-term negatives.

So yeah...basically the same as you said, I'm just saying that you're thinking too short-term. If this were an isolated incident, I'd just advise to pay the freaking $25. But the $25 isn't even the problem, the problem is a pattern of behavior. And that's the kind of stuff that tends to be long term.

#13 Posted by XilePrincess (13111 posts) -

Unless he said beforehand he wanted money back or was expecting to be reimbursed, the tickets were a gift, and would have been even if you hadn't given him the $40 ticket.

He sounds like a d-bag. Maybe time to cut this friend loose.

#14 Posted by johnd13 (7889 posts) -
#15 Posted by bowchicka07 (1073 posts) -

You don't owe him squat. Noticed how he waited until after the game to jam you up about it. That means he planned it. Remind him that your dad only bought him a ticket because of you.

Sounds like he's using you man and your dad. I had friends like that but no matter how much I loved them I had to cut ties because they were just dragging me down.

#16 Posted by Skyz_ (56 posts) -

Doesn't sound like you owe him anything, at the most $12 for your ticket just to get rid of this guy. Decent friends don't do that, he doesn't seem worth the hassle.

#17 Edited by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

@johnd13 said:

I think this is a good opportunity to rid yourself of him. The guy seems like a douchebag who's trying to capitalize on your friendship. In any case, I wouldn't want a friend like that.

Is this one the same friend who's braggin about his game collection to you all the time? lol http://www.gamespot.com/forums/games-discussion-1000000/my-friend-says-he-has-more-classics-than-me-31203596/#7

Yea, he's the same one. I'm not sure he's trying to brag on purpose, but sometimes it seems like there's subliminal stuff in what he says.

Thanks everyone for giving me your opinions and all will be taken into consideration. I wasn't sure if it was just me or if I was in the wrong this time, that's why I had to post what had happened and give all the details. Now I know the truth. I felt sorry for him because it felt as if he thought he was innocent. And you're right he probably did plan it because he waited until the end to ask me. And there were other incidences like when I gave him almost a hundred bucks for him to party with girls one night (he promised I'd get it back plus 15) and when I asked for it back knowing he was leaving town the next day, he insulted me with words that still stick to this day. Or the other time when I ''thought'' we planned to meet up during a trip in a city 3 hours away and while I drove in the traffic for 7 hours, he didn't show because he had to drink instead of drive. Our hotels were an hour apart, so we had unofficially agreed to meet halfway but it never happened and he acted like nothing was ever ''officially'' planned and up in the air. So that cost me time and money, plus lots of driving. I kept my distance until he kept calling and suckered me back in. He never apologized for that though.

Well, I can't get into that one, I'll get too mad, but I do feel that it has gone a bit too far. Problem is I have tried many times to keep my distance from the guy and every time I've done that, he would leave voice messages asking me who else I have to hang out with, other than whom he considers my ''loser'' friends.

#18 Posted by LJS9502_basic (149960 posts) -

When he bought the tickets did he say he was paying for yours? If not you owe him $12. But the other ticket was for his scarf.....that's on him.

#19 Posted by toast_burner (21284 posts) -

When he bought the tickets did he say he was paying for yours? If not you owe him $12. But the other ticket was for his scarf.....that's on him.

Why would he have to say it's not free? If he didn't say he wanted money for it when giving it to him, then it's fair to assume that it was a gift.

The fact that he waited until after he used the ticket to say he wanted money for it is a clear sign he's trying to scam him.

#20 Posted by SUD123456 (4386 posts) -

Get new friends

#21 Posted by El_Zo1212o (6005 posts) -

@MrGeezer: all that is very true, but the response still applies- either dude is willing to pay up the 25 bucks to keep the other dude around, or he isn't. The prior history there is part of the equation to determine whether or not the guy is worth $25.

#22 Posted by k2theswiss (16598 posts) -

Hahahaha. I am not kidding - FIND A NEW FRIEND. Before the game he should hit you with the price tag not after. ...

#23 Edited by ferrari2001 (16736 posts) -

Did you sign a legally binding contract which stated that you owned him money for said products or services. If not, then no you don't owe him any money.

#24 Edited by Ariabed (1100 posts) -

He should be embarrassed trying to stiff you for a few lousy bucks, is he that hard up? He is morally wrong especially as he didn't mention anything about paying b4 hand. You are not morally obligated to offer to pay, you thought he was returning a favour simples. This guy knows you/your familly has money and you said he already owes you a whole bunch of money so don't let this guy use you.

#25 Edited by LJS9502_basic (149960 posts) -

@LJS9502_basic said:

When he bought the tickets did he say he was paying for yours? If not you owe him $12. But the other ticket was for his scarf.....that's on him.

Why would he have to say it's not free? If he didn't say he wanted money for it when giving it to him, then it's fair to assume that it was a gift.

The fact that he waited until after he used the ticket to say he wanted money for it is a clear sign he's trying to scam him.

If you say hey want to go the game Saturday or whatever...that tends to mean you pay for your ticket if the other dude picks them up. It wasn't a date was it?

#26 Posted by brimmul777 (1084 posts) -

In my opinion,you owe him nothing.You did for him,he did for you.Give a little,get a little.

#27 Edited by foxhound_fox (87327 posts) -

If there was never an agreement to exchange the tickets for money, then he has nothing.

This would be an open and shut case on Judge Judy.

#28 Edited by always_explicit (2655 posts) -

Tell him once he has paid your dad back for the game....you will pay him back the game.

#29 Posted by toast_burner (21284 posts) -

@toast_burner said:

@LJS9502_basic said:

When he bought the tickets did he say he was paying for yours? If not you owe him $12. But the other ticket was for his scarf.....that's on him.

Why would he have to say it's not free? If he didn't say he wanted money for it when giving it to him, then it's fair to assume that it was a gift.

The fact that he waited until after he used the ticket to say he wanted money for it is a clear sign he's trying to scam him.

If you say hey want to go the game Saturday or whatever...that tends to mean you pay for your ticket if the other dude picks them up. It wasn't a date was it?

I which case he should have said "want to buy some tickets from me"

#30 Posted by EJ902 (14234 posts) -

He certainly shouldn't charge you for the second ticket. He can make the argument that since your dad bought him the ticket it's for your dad to decide whether he should pay for it or if it was a free gift, whereas he clearly wants you to pay for the ticket he got you. But it's still really rude of him to ask that

#31 Posted by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

When he bought the tickets did he say he was paying for yours? If not you owe him $12. But the other ticket was for his scarf.....that's on him.

See this is what I'm saying. It's almost like this answer is not black and white. People like LJS9502 say I should pay if he never said he was going to pay. What he basically said was, ''Oh thanks for the tickets tonight, I got tickets tomorrow, you wanna go? My dad probably can't make it and my brother can't, so it'll just be me and you.'' And I actually wanted to watch another game, but the point is I said ''Sure, I'll go.''

I mean what if the tickets were $100 tickets and I had no idea. Would I have to pay then? I mean sure if he gave me tickets that expensive, I'd offer something. But the point is, he never told me how much the tickets were. Hell for all I know maybe he didn't even pay for them. But that doesn't matter. What matters to me is the fact that after we already exchanged our goodbyes almost at midnight, and then all of a sudden he came back running to me and he had this particular look on his face. This look resembled a sense of urgency. I offered him the scarf and he looked at me with this grin and said alright and then went his way. I was a bit bothered by it, but then actually got a text the next morning that said he couldn't believe I didn't make an offer. I told him he can have the scarf and then he responded saying, ''Oh no I don't want to steal from you. I know you like stadium giveaways, I can't do that.'' So he wanted an offer in terms of dollars.

Point is, he got really good tickets the game before. He got a really cool giveaway. What's funny is how when we were sitting in his seats, he was talking about how much better his views were.

#32 Posted by MDK12345 (349 posts) -

Tell him once he has paid your dad back for the game....you will pay him back the game.

The funny thing is he'll get really offended. It's because he has the assumption that my father does pretty well. He's always been jealous of the fact that his parents are divorced. But no he'd never pay my father for the game. He would basically say, ''What?? I thought it was a gift!''

#34 Posted by Sword-Demon (6921 posts) -

$12 is nothing, Why is he even making an issue out of it?

anyway, I probably would have offered to pay for my ticket just to be polite; but since you had taken him the day before, I can see why you would assume it was his way of repaying you.

As for that 2nd ticket, he's the one who gave it to you in order to save a scarf for him. that's entirely his, and he has no business telling you to pay for it.

Overall, the guy's a petty little asswipe, but I'd pay him the measly $12 since he bought the tickets with the mindset that you would pay for yours. If I bought something for someone thinking that he/she would pay me back, I'd be a little put off if he/she just took it.

and this guy sounds like a leech, I'd recommend getting rid of him.

#35 Edited by JohnF111 (14046 posts) -

Tell him your dad wants the money for his ticket that you let him use. However depending on how good a mate he is I wouldn't let 12 bucks get in the way of your relationship but don't let it happen again, if he ever offers something like this again ask if he expects you to pay for it afterwards and keep a note of his answer as he may try the same trick again.

#36 Posted by Nengo_Flow (9372 posts) -

Laugh in his face and say "I dont owe shit broke ass bitch"

this friend of yours sounds like the definition of a douchebag dick ass wipe.

If he still crying about, then tell him "why you still crying about change when i spent money on you before and you never paid me back?"

#37 Posted by -ParaNormaN- (705 posts) -

Being broke myself, if I bought someone a ticket while I had no money to spend then that is my own fault. The person who I spent money on doesn't owe me jack, even if it hurts me knowing I have no money left. Your friend is making a complete ass of himself.

#38 Posted by always_explicit (2655 posts) -

@mdk12345 said:

@always_explicit said:

Tell him once he has paid your dad back for the game....you will pay him back the game.

The funny thing is he'll get really offended. It's because he has the assumption that my father does pretty well. He's always been jealous of the fact that his parents are divorced. But no he'd never pay my father for the game. He would basically say, ''What?? I thought it was a gift!''

Well in that case I believe you have every right to be equally offended. You could also claim that you believed the game to be a gift...a mutual exchange in order to spend time together as friends. Ultimately the two of you spending time together as mates is where the real "value" lies. If a trivial sum of money is enough to cause this much friction between the two of you I would argue perhaps you are better off disassociating yourself with this person.

Equally, your dad's perceived wealth is not a free ticket for people to abuse his/your family/your generosity.

You sound like a decent person and as often is the case with decent people, they get trampled beneath the feet of those who are less decent and tactful. Dont let guilt over ride your better judgement. I think the very fact you felt compelled to ask others for their opinion on the situation means you probably already know that the issue is deeper than a few dollars. Please dont take anything I have said as a criticism. Just an analysis and good intention.